Being open to what is offered

Back in the summer, I shared with you that someone I know only very casually called me to ask if we’d be interested in a bunch of toys that her married daughter was getting rid of.  I said, ‘sure!’, and she brought over a few bags of toys.   Most of those toys weren’t suitable for our family, and it was one of the rare occasions that I thought to myself that I’d say ‘no’ if asked again.  But my kids enjoyed going through the bags, got some nice looseleafs from one bag, cleaned up and sold some of the Barbies from another bag, and we donated or threw away the rest. 

A couple of weeks after she offered us the toys, she called again, saying now she was cleaning and had some more toys. Those were a lot nicer!  When she brought them by we were chatting for a while, and she very hesitantly mentioned that she often froze leftover chicken and meat from Shabbos because she hates to throw it away. She doesn’t use it because it’s just her and her husband at home, and they don’t want to eat leftovers from Shabbos all week.  She didn’t want to offend me, but wondered if we might use it?  No, I wasn’t offended.  She said got the impression that we had similar values in terms of not being wasteful of resources and that’s why she thought to ask me.  So about once a month since then, she calls me and brings over her leftovers (just fleishigs, nothing else).  It’s a big enough amount for her in her freezer that it’s a burden, but small enough for us that it becomes one generous dinner. 🙂 Since it’s frozen, I can’t always tell exactly what each item is without defrosting it, so last time I decided they were all similar enough to throw everything into one pot – my kids kept saying how amazing it was!

I got another call yesterday from this same woman – would I be interested in a frozen 12 pound turkey?  (This is on sale now for $2.99 lb, so it’s a value of over $35.)  She bought two for Thanksgiving, but it was more than they needed, so they only cooked one.  It’s been in her freezer since then, because they don’t like turkey.  No problem, I assured her, I could find something to do with it. 🙂  At first I thought I’d put it in my freezer for Pesach, but when I sent one of the kids downstairs with it, they came back up telling me there was no room.  (I really have to go downstairs to see for myself why the freezer is so full, because it seems to me it shouldn’t be after I dehydrated lots of frozen veggies to empty it out.)  Since the only place I had space to put it was the fridge, it’s now defrosting there and we’ll enjoy it for Shabbos. 

I have a policy of saying ‘yes’ to just about everything that is offered to us unless I’m sure it’s something we won’t use.  (Don’t think I have offers right and left being made to me – I don’t, but when it happens this is my policy.)  I may not be able to use it, but I always ask the person offering it to me if it would be okay with them if I pass it on if it doesn’t meet our needs.  The reason I say ‘yes’ even if I’m not sure it will be useful to us is that once you say ‘no’ to someone, do you think they’ll feel comfortable asking you again the next time?  Probably not.  We live in a time of so much material abundance that people are afraid to offend someone by offering them something.  But people don’t usually make these offers because they see someone else as being in need or lacking – it’s because they have something they value that they would rather to give to someone they know who will appreciate it than an impersonal thrift store.  When they see that you’re a person who accepts their offer in the spirit it was intended, they can feel good about sending your way whatever they give you, and might even think of you again in the future when they have something to pass on.   I think H-shem has many ways to send brocha (blessing) into our lives, and sometimes it’s through other people.  You have to make it easy for them, though!

We’ll certainly be enjoying our turkey dinner with our guests this Friday night!

Avivah

2 thoughts on “Being open to what is offered

  1. I agree wholeheartedly!! Anytime anyone asks if I want hand-me-downs, leftovers, just about anything, I’m happy to pick it up at a time convenient to them. I have received such nice food (the last thing I got was the remains of an extravagant bagel brunch) and clothing (never or little worn womens, mens, and childrens clothing), as well as homeschooling supplies! I can always get rid of things that aren’t suitable to Goodwill and the like. I don’t care if people think me poor or needy, I like getting good things for nothing 🙂

  2. Isn’t free great?! I was looking at my bedroom room last night and admiring our new quilt and matching quilted pillow covers, and realizing that we got everything in it except for the mattress for free! Our clothing storage has in large part been filled with good quality clothing passed on to us, and we’ve many times had nice meals that have come from what was an overflow for others. We’ve gotten toys, books, homeschooling supplies, canning supplies – loads of stuff – just because we said ‘yes’ to someone offering. And it’s also meant that I’ve been able to share the wealth and pass along a lot of free things to others.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

WP-SpamFree by Pole Position Marketing