And that makes…how many???

Last week ds18 went back to Jerusalem after the bar mitzva, ds13 spent three days in Jerusalem with his best friend who is visiting from the US, and the rest of us at home got some more sleep to compensate for all we did in getting ready for the bar mitzva!

I also had a few one on one chats with our older kids who were home, since with all that was going on I couldn’t get everyone together for a family discussion.  And what I shared with them is the exciting news …. that our family will be growing at the end of July!

I told dd15 a long time ago, a week or two after I found out (which happened to be my birthday – isn’t that nice?).  We told everyone else last week, except the littles – I’ll tell them when it’s closer, and ds18, who I told when he called home last night.  The reactions ranged from disbelief and excitement (ds9, dd11, ds13), to a casual, “Oh, I had a feeling” (dd17 – she gets feelings about things before they happen, and I told dd15 two months before there would be no way we’d be able to surprise her).  I wasn’t expecting ds18 to have much of a reaction since he’s older and out of the house so it won’t affect him much, but his spontaneous excitement was really nice.  There’s lots of good energy floating around in our family about our news!

Besides for her ‘feeling’, I asked dd17 why she thought that, and she said she thought I looked pregnant at the bar mitzva (which was the very end of the first trimester).  This wasn’t what I wanted to hear – I was cringing thinking this was obvious at such an early stage to everyone there.  And this is really atypical for me.  What’s typical is this:  (someone says): “Oh, are you expecting?”  “Yes, I’m due in three weeks”.  “Due in three months?  You don’t look that far along.”  “No, three weeks.”  “Gasp.”

Seriously, I don’t usually show until five months, and in the winter, can usually keep it from being obvious until about seven months.  With ds5, I literally spoke in front of a room of people the night before he was born, and most of them didn’t realize I was expecting until they got my email the next day announcing his birth – this was very unnerving for some of them! I have lots of stories like this.   I can wear generally things tucked in until about six months as long as I wear a jacket over the blouse – and it looks normal – but to be showing now?  Strange.

So my teen girls think it’s pretty obvious.  I thought they were overly aware of how I look, but last week, literally one day into the second semester, I went out with my mother.  I wanted to tell her our news while she’s visiting, but I didn’t get the chance to initiate the conversation, since she said, “Can I ask you something?  Are you expecting?”

This my tenth pregnancy and, no, she’s never asked before.  And that includes when I haven’t told her until after 5.5 months along!  So I guess the girls aren’t overly aware after all.  But when I expressed my discomfort to them about it being noticeable at this point, they asked me, “Is something wrong with looking pregnant if you are?”  And I realized they were right!

For those who are wondering, no, I don’t think it’s twins (though it’s a really nice idea and I’m at a stage in life that I would LOVE it)!  We’ll have a space of 3 years and two months between ds2 and the new addition, if the due date is accurate.  Those who have been reading my blog a long while know that ds4 was three weeks early and ds2 was three weeks late, so I make no assumptions about dates!

One really nice addendum – my only sister emailed me a few nights ago and told me she was expecting.  I emailed her back and told her I was, too!  I told her my due date and asked for hers, and it turns out she’s due just eight days after me.  We’ve never been in this situation before, and it’s such a nice feeling!

Avivah

50 thoughts on “And that makes…how many???

  1. I have been reading your blog for a long time (maybe 2 years) but am always too shy to comment. This time I can’t resist – Beshaa Tova!!! May you always have nachas from your family!

    BTW, I love your blog. It is one of the few out there that I consistently leave with a warm positive feeling. As I live in Israel – Jerusalem – and made Aliya as a child (13 years old) I am also very happy for you that you merited coming back!

    1. Sara, thank you for overcoming your shyness and wishing me well! I appreciate it and hope now that you’ve broken the ice, you’ll feel comfortable commenting in the future. :)

    1. Morning sickness isn’t something I generally have to deal with – threw up just once after taking a prenatal on an empty stomach and then immediately hanging laundry, which meant a wall pressing against my stomach. Tiredness is the real issue for me.

  2. B’sha’ah tovah! May it be an uneventful pregnancy, an easy delivery, and a healthy mommy and baby! It’s not like you to complain as you generally seem to see the positive in everything, but I do recall you mentioning being very tired recently, so I am not too surprised! Have you found a home birth midwife to use yet?

  3. B’shaa tova!!! Only good news and good things! I’m glad you are feeling good! Enjoy ‘showing’ early – its a positive sign that baby is growing nicely! I’m so happy for you!!!!

  4. Bshaa tova! To be honest I kind of had a feeling you were expecting, don’t know why, I guess I am just that in tune with your writing :) wishing you a healthy and happy journey

    1. That’s interesting, Estee! I can definitely see how my readers Could pick up something, even if I wasn’t aware of any change in how I was writing. I remember reading a blog regularly a long time ago, and was sure the family was going through a major crisis, even though the writer hadn’t said anything; a month later it came out that I was right. It was something subtle that changed in the tone of her writing, not what she wrote about.

  5. I was just curious if your dd17 was upset that you told your dd15 a long time ago but didn’t tell her. I don’t think I would be happy if I was the sister who wasn’t told.
    B’shaa Tova, this is wonderful news. I am also from a large famiy BH and know that no matter what size a family is, each addition is such a special gift from Hashem.

    1. Hi, ML, welcome! No, dd17 wasn’t upset because I told her very early on in my seventh pregnancy, so this was kind of like evening things up. There’s an age and stage where it’s very special to be in on ‘the secret’ before everyone else, at least for my girls – I don’t know if my boys would feel the same way.

      Dd15 had been asking me a short time before I was pregnant if there was any chance of a new baby soon, and if I would tell her early on in the pregnancy if that was impending. She did appreciate knowing sooner, and it was helpful for me that at least one of the kids realized why I wasn’t functioning at my usual level.

  6. WOW, Avivah! I was away from my computer for a couple of days (long story) and come back to this wonderful news. Take care of yourself and feel good!

  7. B’shaah tova!!
    I was just thinking about you on Sunday after reading how you did the surprise with your bar mitzvah son’s best friend…oh, I wonder what way Avivah will present the news she’s expecting next time around. Not that I knew you were, but I was remembering your Chanukah activity a few years ago…and the surprise visit jogged that for me. So I wasn’t totally surprised to read it here since the thought had popped in my head!

    In the picture at the bar mitzvah, I can’t tell, if that’s any comfort :)

    Who are you using?

    1. We were thinking and thinking about how to announce it to the kids – dd15 and I were brainstorming – cute tshirt for ds2 proclaiming the news, stuff like that. But we were faced with a few logistics – we wanted to do it when all of the kids were home, but not ds13’s best friend or my mother.

      This became impossible, since ds18 was only here for the bar mitzva, and ds13’s friend was here the same time. I wanted to tell my mother in person while she was still here. So finally, I realized if I was going to tell anyone, I was going to have to do it one on one rather than make a big family surprise. There are adjustments in how we do things as our family grows and gets older, and this is one of them – it’s not easy to get everyone together in one place and time anymore!

    2. I spoke to my midwife from the US a couple days after I found out I was expecting, and asked her if she’d consider flying out for my birth, now that her status has changed. She actually said she’d seriously consider it! I was really happy with that idea, but because I have such a huge spread regarding my due date vs actual birth date, it would be stressful and difficult to arrange. So I had to let go of that dream….

      But I’ve found a good option more locally who I’m happy with.

  8. Ronit – my research was already finished and the midwife decided on before I asked you. I asked because I was interested – I had a feeling you had chosen the midwife you did.

  9. Bishaah Tova!
    I felt like you were writing this post just for me:)
    I am preg with #7 and also showed way earlier than I had in previous pregnancies. As I moved to a new and very “open speaking” community, I got comments before I was ready to handle them. I had told dd11 and she had the same question “What’s wrong with looking pregnant when you are?” It was a breath of fresh air to read your post.
    Thank you!!

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