This has been a decision that has taken a long time to come to. I feel that God was trying to show me again and again that this isn’t the place for us but I was so intent on looking for the positives that I kept ignoring the messages. It wasn’t until ds4 and I were hit by a car in the beginning of October that I started to tune in.
It was hard to even consider moving – my mind kept moving away from it. I just didn’t want to think of having to start over. We’ve had so much upheaval in our lives and things were finally beginning to stabilize; the last thing I wanted was to shake things up by moving somewhere new. Bit by bit, my mind started touching around the edges of the idea and gradually accepting that it was not only necessary but could be very positive for our family in many ways. To be willing to move, I had to be honest about what was missing for us and also to trust that life could be better than it currently is – and after so many challenges that left me feeling emotionally steamrolled, trusting that things can be good is something I consciously and constantly work on.
Intellectually, it makes perfect sense to move. Ds20 and dd17 are both in Jerusalem; dd17 will be able to live at home and ds20 will be able to come home for Shabbos much more frequently. Ds14 is near Bnei Brak and his travel home each week will be much shorter. Dd19 will want to be near Jerusalem when she comes back. Yirmiyahu will have better access to medical care and services. There are more boys’ high schools so we hopefully won’t have to send any of our other boys to a dorm when they reach high school age. There’s more homeschooling support in the center of the country, there’s more support for Anglos in the center of the country, there’s potentially more work for my husband in the center of the country. There’s more everything in the center of the country!
We moved here with a large family that included older teens. Making aliyah at this stage of life is unusual but we did it because we wanted to continue to preserve our family togetherness even as our children got older, moved out and got married. Ironically, it was this goal of family closeness that has been most challenged by our location in the north. Our family has enjoyed many things about living here and I’m glad we moved to Karmiel, but it’s also clear that to stay here will compromise our highest values.
When are we moving? We don’t know yet! This isn’t the season in which homes usually come on to the market but I’m hopeful that one will become available very soon in the community that we’ve decided to move to. We made this decision quite some time ago but weren’t mentally ready to consider moving so soon until a couple of weeks ago, and now my husband’s job ended last week. This wasn’t part of our plan but it was timing from Above! So it’s the perfect time for him to search in the Jerusalem area close to where we’ll be living. (He’s a technical writer – if you have suggestions or leads, please let me know!)
We will really miss Karmiel – our friends, our home and so many wonderful things about it. But at this time what we most need isn’t here for us.