Sea of galilee

Nurturing myself by nurturing my marriage – my trip to Tiberias with dh

Dh is having a significant birthday in a week, and we decided to celebrate by spending the weekend in Tiberias – without our children!

The last time we did this was over ten years ago, and it was wonderful, amazing, renewing – something everyone should do when their stage of life allows for it. Couple time is so critical. There’s a reason you married your spouse!

It’s easy to forget what brought you together when you’re caught up in the busyness of life and you feel like two ships passing in the night or partnering business associates checking in about the tasks of the day.  Creating time to recharge and  reconnect allows you to renew and deepen your appreciation of one another.

And getting out of the house completely changes the energy.  I enjoy being at home and spending time with dh, but the dishes and laundry and kids are all still there and even when I create physical space to speak with dh without interruption, in my mind it’s hard to put everything to the side.

lake of galileeOur trip to Tiberias definitely was getting away!  The trip by bus was about 5 hours each direction.  The hotel we stayed at had a stunning view from high above the Sea of Galilee and we both agreed that just being able to sit quietly with the palm trees blowing, the birds chirping and the inspiring view was enough of a reason to have made the trip.  It was literally that centering.

But we also enjoyed the  food (that we didn’t have to prepare and clean up from) and the restful hotel environment, which is so different from home.  Conversations that weren’t interrupted ten times with various children going in and out, time to nap and read and talk about what we were reading and just be present in the moment-  it was wonderful.

We both agreed that this is something that we would like to begin to make a yearly event instead of waiting for a special occasion!

If you’re wondering who was holding down the fort, it was dd19, ds17, dd15 and ds13. They celebrated ds7’s birthday while we were gone and the kids all told us they had a great Shabbos with dd19 and ds17 in charge.

Years ago I resisted going away, feeling I couldn’t leave young children without me.  And in fact, I don’t take these trips away when I have very young children.  But we mothers can always find something to feel guilty about!  When we leave the house for our ‘couple time’ (and this includes our weekly date nights), I also leave behind any guilt!  Really, what is better for children than growing up in a home where their parents consciously take time to nurture their relationship?

Avivah

11 thoughts on “Nurturing myself by nurturing my marriage – my trip to Tiberias with dh

  1. such an important step, but sometimes we overlook it because we come up with so many reasons that we can’t take out the time or organize the children by family or friends. we all need it so much, a very crucial part of marriage, spending time, and learning to let go of household responsibilities for a bit, to spend real quality time with our spouse.

    1. I made SO many excuses!

      The first time we went away overnight wasn’t until we were married almost 12 years – I kept saying, we don’t have time, we don’t have someone to watch the kids, we don’t have the money, we spent time together at home, what different would it make to go away for one day?, the effort getting out wasn’t worth whatever benefits of going….like I said, so many excuses!

      Then I finally did it and realized that my excuses were really just excuses and not the good reasons I thought they were. I’m fortunate that a good friend at that time kept encouraging me to make the time.

  2. How wonderful to see you take care of yourself and how you take care of your marriage. A really importantant lesson for parents( and i suppose couples too).

  3. This has been heavy on my mind lately. We’ve hardly dated or gotten away in 15 years and this is contributing to issues. I’m hoping to remedy it. Could you tell me what constitutes a date with one’s husband?

    1. It’s completely up to each couple to define it. If it’s relaxing for you and your husband and gives you the opportunity to connect, then it’s a date! Ideally get out of the house, though – it really makes a difference.

  4. I’m so happy for you!!! We’ve been nurturing our marriage as well lately- it has been a win-win for everyone!

  5. So nice! We took the time to do this last summer, for the first time in 14 years! It was amazing!!! Like you said, just the ability to have a conversation without interruption …we had such a nice time. So glad you and your DH were able to get away and enjoy the time away!

    1. And then when you finally did take the time together, did you find yourself thinking you’re sorry you didn’t do it sooner?!? :) I did!

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