Tag Archives: leadership parenting

The importance of acceptance in helping kids move past their current stuckness

I was chatting with someone a few days ago when I shared some of thoughts about raising a child with diagnosed differences.  My position is that our kids are fine the way they are, that we need to love them as they are right now and convey our acceptance of who they are, at the same time that we believe in their future potential to move beyond the current limitations.

It’s a hard balance, to accept and to simultaneously support and believe in what you don’t yet see but this is the attitude I believe is transformative for every parent struggling with some aspect of a child’s behavior or development.

She exclaimed, “I’m reading a book and it’s exactly what you’re talking about, you’d love it!” – and then went to get it for me.

The book is called Sonrise, written in the 1970s. I don’t generally like the style of books written in the 70s, and honestly, this was no exception.  After reading the book I went online to do more research on the Sonrise program, and learned that a video had been made about the Sonrise story.

When the movie began I was dismayed to see it was a 70s movie and I don’t like 70s movies any more than I like 70s books.  Sorry if that offends someone, that’s just my feeling. :)

But I watched The Miracle of Love with a few of my kids (skipping a bit in the beginning because of my impatience) because I believe so strongly in this message and was intrigued to see the portrayal of how this was used to bring a severely autistic child out of autism at a time when there was no hope for kids with a diagnosis like his.

My older kids who watched with me all said it was thought provoking and inspiring; I felt the same way.

It’s unfortunate that there is so much of a focus on rejecting our kids’ behaviors when we deem them unacceptable.  That’s really our societal approach, and there are therapeutic approaches that have elements of this attitude built in.  A parent attending one of my classes once asked me how this idea applied to kids with autism.  I told her that in that case, you need to go into their world and from there bring them into your world.  That’s exactly what the Sonrise program advocates, which has become famous throughout the world.

It’s intrinsically about the power of love.  It transforms a parent, it transforms a child, it transforms a family.

It’s not easy.  It’s not easy at all.  It’s a powerful but subtle and nuanced position, and it’s taken me a lot of conscious thought to figure out how to find this balance inside of myself.  I continue to work on this, to maintain my balance and that means sometimes I lose my balance!  But the effort has been worth it, as it’s changed me at the same time it’s helped me to support the different needs of each of my children.

Avivah

Introducing- first ever Leadership Parenting webinar series – beginning soon!

You’ve been asking and I’ve been listening!

You know that I give Leadership Parenting training courses locally and you’ve asked me about making it available for those who can’t attend in person.  Not being a person who quickly embraces new technologies, it’s taken me some time to make this happen – but it’s happening now!

My new Leadership Parenting course begins tonight in RBS – and beginning this Sunday,  November 13, my first webinar series will launch!

What is Leadership Parenting and how does it benefit you?

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Leadership Parenting is an insight-based approach that will simultaneously challenge you to question widespread beliefs about parenting as well as enable you to address the concerns you and your child are struggling with at the core level.

It answers the question: How can you most effectively and powerfully influence your child?

Leadership Parenting empowers you to shift your parenting efforts from managing behaviors to creating an environment in which you and your child can become more connected, more respectful and more productive.

Leadership Parenting will also provide you with guidelines and practical suggestions to address challenging situations – bedtimes, mealtimes, disrespect, tantrums, defiance, and the out of control child. Whether your home life is overall good and you just want to make it better, or you’re struggling daily with every aspect of parenting, Leadership Parenting will give you a new pair of glasses to view parenting with, along with guidance as to how to apply and integrate this powerful paradigm into your life.

This class series will be 16 weeks long.  Classes are held on Sundays, 8:30 – 10 pm (Israel); 1:30 – 3 pm (EST).  Each class is an hour, followed by up to 30 minutes of questions and answers. I want everyone parent who is interested in making a significant shift in her family to be able to access this information, so the entire course is priced at just $200!  **

If you’re interested in participating, please send $200 via Paypal to avivahwerner@yahoo.com.  I will be in touch with you to confirm payment and will send you a link to register for the webinar.  Once you have registered, you will receive an email with information on how to access the webinar via your computer, iphone or landline.  **Edited to add: The classes will be recorded and available for viewing/listening afterward.**  If you have questions about this course, please ask them in the comments below since it’s likely others will have the same question!

While I’m a bit nervous about the new technology, I’m really excited to be able to share with you some of what has made my own life as a parent so rewarding and meaningful!

Avivah

**(There will be two partial scholarships available for this course – if you aren’t able to afford the full fee, please contact me directly via email – avivahwerner@yahoo.com.)

Leadership Parenting classes beginning soon!

Now that vacation is over and life is getting back to its hectic norm, I’m back to supporting other people’s families!

The woman I co-led a workshop with several weeks ago is opening a women’s mind and body wellness center here in RBS next week.  I was asked to give parenting classes at the center and after seeing the wonderful space she has planned there, I’m delighted to be able to offer my classes in calming and peaceful mini-retreat environment that will enhance learning and renewal.  It’s going to be wonderful!

ProfileMy new local Leadership Parenting series will begin soon and here are the details!

Leadership Parenting is based on six foundational concepts:

Connection, compassion, courage, calm, clarity and correction.

Leadership Parenting teaches you to:

  • Trade the illusion of control for powerful parental influence.
  • Become a leader in your home.
  • Enjoy your children in a way you never have!

Raising my children has been an incredibly growth-filled experience that has enabled me to become more and have more than I ever thought was possible.  I know that sounds like hyperbole, but it’s really true.  And it’s from that place of gratitude and passion that I work with other parents to help them build the kind of family that will be a source of deep fulfillment for them.

When your family life isn’t flowing well, it doesn’t matter how successful you are in other areas – it drains your energy, causes you to doubt yourself and you feel resentment and stress instead of joy and purpose.

There’s a lot of conflicting information available about how to create a strong and connected family and in the earlier years of parenting I got caught up in that.  Not knowing when to be firm, when to give in, then questioning if I was being too firm or too loving.  Were my kids taking advantage of me?  Was I being responsive enough?

It took years of making mistakes (usually based on some expert’s advice) and learning from those mistakes to clarify what was working and identify the underlying principles behind the consistent positive results in our family.

That’s why I started this blog (almost ten years ago!) and do the work that I do – to help parents cut through the mental confusion so they can invest in their families in a way that will give positive results long term.  Why should you have to make all those mistakes yourself if you can avoid the potholes in your parenting journey?

For local readers, here are the details about the upcoming classes. The series will be 10 weeks long, and take place on Wednesday evenings from 8:30 – 10 pm, beginning May 18.  Location: Be Well Women’s Mind and Body Center, RBS. The series will be 350 shekels.

As always, I welcome those who are interested in getting a sense of my approach before committing to join us for the first class for free.  Contact me for details if you’d like register or connect!  avivahwerner@gmail.com.

(To non-local readers – ie, most of you! – eventually I’m going to figure out the technical stuff to make this available to you, too.  Please have patience with me and my time limitations!)

Avivah