I so much enjoy reading to my kids.  There’s a wonderful feeling of connection and closeness, it’s an effective way to learn things together in a natural and fun way, and it’s something you can do with kids of all ages!

Here’s what my reading schedule for the day is like:

In the mid morning, when my older kids are busy with their academic work, I read a couple of books that my 2.5 year old chooses with him. Then my 6 yo comes along and I read a book, or a chapter of a book, also of his choice, to him (we just finished a Thornton Burgess chapter book).  This isn’t intended to be academic; it’s just a nice way to spend some time with them. 

A little later, my 8 and 9 year olds finish what they’re working on, and I read to them from a chapter book.  We started the Little House on the Prairie series in the summer, and are halfway through.  We generally read a couple of chapters each day, but it depends on the length of the chapters and how much time I have.  Yesterday we finished the fourth book, and we have five books to go.  Sometimes the morning gets busy and there’s not time for our reading before lunch, so we do it after lunch.  Sometimes we skip a day, but not usually.  They look forward to this so much, and my 6 year old also joins our snuggling on the couch for this.  I read this series aloud about seven years ago when my oldest three were all about this age, and I’m enjoying reading it together with my middle three.  (I do this reading when the baby is sleeping, but the toddler usually is awake, often sitting on my lap for it.)

Then after dinner, we have our family read aloud.  This is something I’ve done for years (last year we had a break because my ds15 was in school and wasn’t home in time, so we were more sporadic to accomodate him and didn’t read as regularly as we usually have), and I’ve found it very valuable.  The hardest part of this is finding a book that will interest everyone, since the 6 yo should be able to understand it, but the 15 year old doesn’t want to listen to a little kids book.  We read The Hobbit last year, which was an excellent book, but my then 5 year old didn’t know what was happening at all (at that point I wasn’t trying to find something suitable for him – he had a nighttime read aloud right before this one geared towards him), and my oldest didn’t care for fantasy (I didn’t know that until after we were reading it, or I would have looked for something else) and had a hard time following all the details.  I’m so grateful to have found our current choice – my kids all agree it’s a real winner.  If I’m feeling tired or not in the mood to read that night, their eagerness motivates me to sit down anyway.  Then when I finish, they all beg me to read more.  I’m particularly glad to have found a book that my oldest son enjoys; his tastes are more specific than the others. 

The book we’re reading is called Watership Down.  Apparently it’s commonly read in high school English courses, and most of the negative reviews I saw on Amazon were from high school students who were forced to read it and were bored by it.  I try to choose books that are good quality literature, with complex sentence structure, good use of grammar, and ideas to think about.  But I also want books that are fun and engaging, not something the kids are listening to but bewildered half the time as to the meaning.  This book fits all my criteria, though when I saw the book and leafed through it, there wasn’t anything to encourage me.  The cover is beyond boring looking, and the story didn’t initially grab me.  I was concerned the kids wouldn’t have the patience to wait for the story to pick up, but surprisingly, they were engaged by the first night.  My husband was also surprised, since his initial reaction was similar to mine.  But there’s a quality to the story I can’t describe that really got the kids hooked.

I didn’t see this on any recommended lists of books, but someone on a discussion board somewhere mentioned reading it aloud to her kids (they went to school so she read to them when they got home).  Each day friends would come to play, but they told their friends they didn’t want to play because they were listening to this great story.  And the friends would join them.  By the time they finished the book, there were about twenty kids listening in!  So that seemed to me to be a pretty good recommendation, and after I researched it for the literary quality, I was ready to give it a shot.

The only problem with this book is that it will end.  We’re about 240 pages in, and I guess we have over 150 pages left, but every night I wonder what book I’ll find next that will work so well for everyone!  I usually start researching the next book while we’re reading the current one, so that I have it checked out of the library in time to begin as soon as the last book ends.  I need to start looking for books soon, and if you have any recommendations, please share them with me!

Another nice plus of reading before bed is that it makes the bedtime transition very smooth.  The kids naturally quiet down from the busyness of the day, and once we finish reading, the youngest three or four troop up to bed without any complaints.  I credit our family read aloud habit for our smooth and easy bedtimes over the years! 

There are lots of other benefits, and books have been written about those benefits.  But some of the benefits, in addition to those I shared above – it’s great for vocabulary development, greatly improves listening and comprehension skills, and helps children develop their imaginations.  And it’s so fun!

Avivah

I often speak to/correspond with parents who are considering homeschooling, and I’ve found that the main thing that they express are their worries about doing something so different from the mainstream.  There are worries about short term academic achievement, social skill development, emotional development.  Practical worries, like how to get their kids to listen to them, how to juggle all the demands of homeschooling and running a home, which curriculum to buy and at what point.  And then there are the long term worries, about how they’ll transition to school at a later date, get married, function in society, or have long term scars as a result of the choice their parents made to homeschool.  (There are lots more specifics, but you get the idea!)

It’s interesting that very few parents agonize over these questions before sending their child to school, or even consider them at all.  By virtue of everyone else doing it, there’s a certain comfort and assurance that it’s going to all work out just fine.  But these are questions inherent to the process of raising your children, regardless of what venue you choose. Every parent needs to think about their child’s emotional, social, and academic needs, and assess if they are best served in the environment they’re choosing to place them in.  Educating your child in whatever manner should involve thought and consideration.

I was thinking tonight that it would be nice if there was a magic pill to give these parents, to help them put their concerns into perspective – I often feel that they’re hoping talking to me will be the magic pill.  I’ve regularly been asked how I had the confidence to homeschool my kids, how I dealt with that nagging doubt that is constantly at the back of a parent’s mind whenever they make a choice that differs from the mainstream.  When I think of my own experience, it reminds me once again that there is no magic pill, and that a magic pill would only keep us from developing confidence in ourselves.  Confidence is built on a foundation of grappling with our fears and doubts and resolving them. 

As for me, I really believed in the principles of educating one’s children as individuals, according to their needs and internal timelines.  Whenever I would worry that someone wasn’t progressing fast enough, or I wasn’t doing enough, I’d go back to my core principles and think about them.  This meant a lot of thinking over the years!  But it was through this process of thinking and thinking and thinking (and talking to my husband about it), constantly evaluating my experience along with the feedback of others, that my belief in what I was doing for my family was constantly strengthened.

And I think that’s what every parent benefits from – not just talking to someone who seems to have it all together, who’s worked out their issues in this area and is happy with their results. That can be helpful, but true strength isn’t borrowed from others.  That inner confidence can only come from deep inside you.  And as I told someone tonight, sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.  You have to believe in your principles even before you get the results, but increasingly with time, your results will begin to show up for you.  Once you start to see those positive results, that will continue to give support to all that you’re doing.  The longer you stick with your principles, the better your results will be and the more you have to reassure yourself with. 

It’s like gardening – you plant the seed in good soil, water and fertilize it regularly, and you have to trust that something is happening and it will bloom when it’s meant to.  You can’t be constantly digging up the seed to see what’s happening to it.  Just because you don’t see growth doesn’t mean it’s not happening.  Growth in our children (as well as ourselves) is organic, and takes time.  We have to learn to trust the process, and trust is something that we’re lacking nowadays.  We grow up trusting the authorities, the professionals, those with letters after their names, but to believe in ourselves?  It’s something we need to learn to do.  And it takes time.  But it’s so worthwhile!

Avivah