A Friday wedding?? Yes, and here’s why.

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Yesterday afternoon an order for the wedding preparations arrived.

One hundred fans for use by guests at the chupa.

This isn’t something we’ve felt necessary to order for past weddings, but then again, we’ve never before made a Friday wedding with a chupa in the heat of the day!

I have been getting interested comments about the wedding taking place on a Friday. It’s definitely not a typical choice. So let me tell you how and why it came about.

In a number of the charedi yeshivas, there is a custom that weddings do not take place in the Jewish month of Elul (this year that coincides with August). This is because it’s the month before Rosh Hashana and a time of increased spiritual striving and intensity, and the yeshiva students are dedicating themselves to that on a higher level than usual. To support this, weddings that would take them out of the bais medrash (study hall) during this time aren’t scheduled.

Elul would have been perfect timing for us, but with that not an option it left us two choices: a wedding at the end of Av (end of July) or a wedding after the chagim (fall holidays) in October.

An added factor was that our kallah is on break from college from July through October, when her final semester begins. We all agreed it would be very nice if the wedding could take place during her extended vacation.

The first option didn’t leave enough time to plan a wedding. The second option meant a much longer engagement period, missing the vacation period entirely with a wedding coinciding with her going back to school.

The kallah’s father suggested making the wedding on Friday – since Friday is a ‘day off’, there is no conflict of yeshiva policy. That would allow the time frame they wanted for the engagement period, not too long and not too short. Then the wedding can take place during the college summer vacation, with them able to enjoy the bein hazmanim (yeshiva vacation) for the holidays as a married couple.

So Friday was the perfect option, really a win-win in every way. The only downside is the heat. 🙂 Hence the fans.

Avivah

Comments

8 responses to “A Friday wedding?? Yes, and here’s why.”

August 12, 2021

rachelli

A couple years back there were a couple halls in Jerusalem that gave a very attractive price for a Friday Wedding, including the band, food, pictures. Many families did this and I heard they were so amazing and Leibidik.(I think it was more after the Chaggim, so not so hot.) I think its a great idea. You have the wedding, everyone is together, and have a big family seuda for shabbos. Mazel tov!

Reply
1. August 12, 2021
  
  Avivah
  
  We’ll all be going away for Shabbos sheva brachos, and I think it will be a beautiful extended wedding experience for everyone! This morning a local rebbetzin called and when she heard the wedding is going to be on Friday, she was so enthusiastic since her sister did this for her daughter’s wedding, and she said it was the nicest, most simchadik wedding experience.
  
  I read about this at least five years ago, maybe in Mishpacha, when there were halls offering free weddings for couples willing to get married on Fridays. In the article they said similar things to you and the rebbetzin.
  
  We’re really looking forward to it!!
  
  Reply
August 12, 2021

Susan

Mazal tov! I think Friday weddings used to be relatively standard in Europe for economic reasons. How lovely to go straight into Shabbat.

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1. August 31, 2021
  
  Avivah
  
  It was SO nice, Susan!
  
  Reply
August 12, 2021

Regina

Mazal Tov! A Friday wedding sounds lovely. Enjoy and lots of nachas from your whole beautiful family!

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1. August 31, 2021
  
  Avivah
  
  BH, it was beautiful! Thank you and k’siva v’chasima tova!
  
  Reply
August 16, 2021

Chanie

Mazal tov Avivah! May you have much nachas from the new couple!

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September 27, 2021

Chana Batya

Mazal tov!

We also had a Friday wedding! Ten and a half years ago.

Reply