Recently, we needed to make a cash purchase on short notice for a sum that was higher than the daily maximum able to be withdraw from the ATM.
Since it was too late in the day to go to the bank and withdraw the necessary sum, we scraped together all the cash we had in the house that was set aside for different purposes. I assumed that in the next day or two I would withdraw the sum we ‘borrowed’ from ourselves from the bank and replace it. I delayed doing that, however, since the next day I saw that a large sum owed to us that was supposed to have been deposited wasn’t made. I decided to wait until that was paid before making the withdrawal to replace the cash.
Over the next day I noticed something really interesting.
When I got to an appointment much earlier than I expected, I began considering what to do while I waited for my appointment. “I could stop at the grocery store.” No, you don’t have any cash with you. “Oh, there’s a toy store with costumes; maybe they have the dress-up hat I’m looking for??” No, you don’t have any cash with you.
Then I thought about scheduling a trip I wanted to take the boys on at some time in the future, which reminded me I didn’t have cash for it. As thoughts went through my mind during the morning hours, to all of those that involved money I told myself, “You don’t have money for that.”
Until that morning, I didn’t realize how often thoughts connected to money went through my head. Since I generally keep cash available for my discretionary spending, when a thought about spending goes through my mind, I tell myself, “Sure, I can do that.” Sometimes I make the purchase; more often than not it remains a thought. But I was continually telling myself “Yes, I have the resources and I can do that.”
I could mentally spend the same thousand shekels many times over, and it was still sitting in my wallet after all of it! These thoughts of abundance were creating and reinforcing a sense of prosperity in me.
I didn’t realize how positive all those thoughts were until I experienced the contrast. After just four hours of telling myself, “You don’t have and you can’t,” I felt so deprived. It didn’t matter that I didn’t need any of these things, and it didn’t matter that I have the money to replace the cash sitting in my bank account. What mattered is that I kept telling myself I couldn’t have those items/experiences.
This was a powerful reminder for me of how important it is to pay attention to the thoughts we allow into our heads! I haven’t yet withdrawn the cash, but I’m now more conscious of what I was telling myself and replacing those thoughts with ‘Yes’ thoughts.
I remember years ago hearing someone talk about keeping a hundred dollars in his pocket, because it created a sense of prosperity in him. I now understand exactly what he was talking about!
Avivah
I have been struggling a lot with this, but what if you actually don’t have the money? How can you help yourself create feelings of prosperity?
Oh, Rivki, I so much understand you! I have been there and have done a lot of personal work to change my thoughts and attitudes toward money, though this is something I haven’t written about hardly at all.
Yes, it’s possible to change this but it takes a lot of conscious effort. I have huge amounts to say about this topic but I’ll just add a couple of tidbits.
Think about what makes you feel prosperous – prosperity isn’t only about money. Then put more of those things in your life, bit by bit. Think about and appreciate the prosperity you already have – your relationships, your health, your community, aspects of your home or the outdoors, etc. The better you feel about your present, the better your future will be. I try to be very appreciative for all the blessings in my life, and to focus on that. What you pay attention to grows, so you don’t want to be focused on lack.
Over time I recognized more and more seemingly small things that take away my positive feelings and things that add to it. Again, this isn’t all about money. Today I called someone about purchasing something and he said he would send me pictures. Then he called back to check how to send the pictures, but he was rude and abrupt, and I thought to myself, I don’t want his pictures because I don’t want to interact with him any more. So I told him I didn’t want the pictures, thank you and goodbye. That felt honoring of myself.
I gave someone a ride and she said something that seemed insulting to me; I told her I’m not comfortable with her talking to me like that and she immediately apologized and clarified what she meant, which wasn’t negative at all. Again, that’s not about money but it’s about respecting and valuing your feelings and preferences, and that’s part of prosperity.
Some people have suggested carrying around a one hundred dollar bill in your wallet, not to spend but to keep there so you can mentally spend it. I was reminded of that with my experience that I shared in this post. I saw the benefits of having cash around even though I didn’t do it to create a feeling of being abundant; it was actually logistics so I could keep track of money for a large monthly expense and not have it accidentally spent by leaving it somewhere else at home. See if you can put some cash in your purse in an inner pocket and just keep it there. It’s not for physically spending, but you can spend it mentally as much as you want. See how that feels.
Sending you so much encouragement!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response! I really appreciate it. It means a lot to me! I’m taking everything you said to heart, I so appreciate the advice. Wishing you a wonderful shabbos!
My pleasure, Rivki! I hope it was helpful. Have a good Shabbos!