I was telling my married son about a comment a teacher recently made to me at a PTA meeting, that I’m a person who likes to be busy, and how I emphatically denied that to her. He laughed and said, “What are you talking about? Of course that’s true! Every time I speak to you, there’s another project or activity you’re involved in.”
I used to burn the candle at both ends when I was younger, so my current pace feels deliberate and slow. But I suppose others look at me and don’t think the same thing.
Well, here’s my newest project:
Fifteen minutes before my last dog was hit by a car, my husband presciently asked me something we had never discussed: “Do you think after Sheleg dies we’ll get another dog?”
“Definitely not”, I assuredly pronounced. My husband commented, “Well, I don’t know. I think we could have another dog, maybe a small one.”
I began thinking about if we would want another dog a few weeks later. I thought and thought and thought, thinking about why we would want a dog and what qualities it needed to be a good fit in our home.
Then a month ago I began keeping my eye open for dogs being given away. There are so many dogs that need homes, and if possible, it’s best to adopt rather than buy.
However, I spend a lot of energy in my day to day life dealing with children who have experienced trauma before coming to us, and I didn’t think I had emotional space to also deal with a traumatized dog.
I looked for dogs being given away from private homes, with the thought that they’d have less trauma than a dog abandoned, abused and living in a shelter. Personality is the most important thing for me – I need a very calm dog that likes people, and is very safe around young children. Many dogs with a hard background are fearful and reactive, and that would be difficult for me to work with in our home.
I wanted a dog that was already neutered or spayed, since according to Jewish law that’s not a surgery I can have done for them.
I preferred a younger dog that could get used to us from the beginning.
And lastly was the appearance. I don’t care about designer dogs, but I do care about having a dog that looks friendly so that people aren’t afraid when they see us on a walk (I live in an area where many people are very nervous about dogs).
When I saw the above picture of a young dog that was already spayed, was friendly and was being given away by a private individual, I called.
I didn’t immediately realize that the dog was actually in a shelter and I was speaking with the volunteer who privately posted her picture. If I had known, I would have right away said I wasn’t interested.
I made an appointment to see her but after learning she was at a shelter, I felt like I was getting into something I knew I didn’t want to do, and was close to positive I wouldn’t take her. When I walked into the shelter and heard the cacaphonous barking of all the dogs richocheting all around me, and saw almost all of the dogs frantically leaping against their gates from their desire to interact with a person, I was sensorily overstimulated and even more sure that I didn’t want to proceed.
However, I was already there and together with the vet, took her to the dog run next door. After ten minutes he left me alone with her. I observed her for quite a while, noticing how quickly she calmed down and how easygoing she seemed. I put on a leash and took her for several rounds of walking, each time showing her how to walk next to me. She learned fast.
After an hour, contrary to all of my expectations and intentions, I thought that actually, she was a really good fit for our family.
I returned to adopt her several days later, and Nala has been with us for several days now.
———————–
My older kids have all asked me why I wanted to get a dog. They know that I agreed to the last dog because my preteen son, who really didn’t want to leave RBS when we planned to move to Yavneel, asked me if he could get a dog if we moved here.
But now, no one is asking for a dog. And I live in a community in which dog ownership is unusual, to say the least. So why?
The easy answer is that I have four children with special needs and having a dog will be therapeutic for them. And that’s completely true.
But the real answer is deeper than that.
As a child born in the seventies, I grew up with lots of time outdoors, interacting with people and the environment.
The reality for kids today is so, so different from how I grew up. Most of their time is spent indoors and on devices.
Times may have changed, but I’m doing my best to help my kids live like kids in the past. I want them to feel the sun on their faces and play outdoors for hours every day. I want authentic, real life experiences to be an integral part of their lives.
It’s for this reason that I still have goats, even though it’s not frugal at all to have them – because I want my children to have the experiences associated with them.
There are many lessons you can learn from having a pet, but more important to me than the lessons are the interactions that children have with a dog. At a time when a toy puppy that walks, runs and climbs is being advertised as the best holiday present for a child (“so real that even a vet can’t tell the difference”), I want my children to experience an animal that runs to and with them, that responds to them with genuine emotion.
Yes, having a dog is an investment of time, effort and responsibility. But the interactions do something wonderful for the dog, and they do something wonderful for the children.
And it’s not just for children. It’s good for adults, too.
Nala is a different dog than Sheleg was. But as she’s laying curled on the floor resting next to my chair as I write, it feels very familiar, and very nice.
Avivah
Leave a Reply