You know, I’m really tired of wars and missiles and sirens.
Really tired of it.
But that’s once again our current reality. Rather than ruminate about the difficulties, I think about fortunate I am to have a reinforced safe room in our home. Not just a safe room, but an entire home that is still completely functional and livable, unlike those who have been forced to evacuate homes close to a missile hit whose buildings were declared unsafe.
I love the Israeli spirit of finding joy even at times of challenge, and that can be seen by the celebration of Purim in the midst of missile alerts and in bomb shelters. Dressing up, singing, reading the megilla (Book of Esther) – all happened in and out of shelters across the country.
We took all of the kids for the shul megillah reading at night, for the first time. They were so noise sensitive and frightened by loud sounds that it wasn’t possible to all go with them until this year. As it was, the youngest two boys had their hands over their ears the entire time, and dd8 kept exclaiming about how loud it was and asking to leave. (It really was extremely loud during the ‘Hamans’.) Next time we’ll buy earplugs for everyone in advance. But despite the noise, we were glad we went.
Here in Northern Israel we had a particularly intense barrage of missiles in the middle of the night. The younger four kids all are sleeping in the safe room so that we don’t have to wake them up and move them when there’s a siren; the rest of us join them when the sirens go off. It was a short night of sleep, followed by a very busy Purim day.
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This was the first year we had a theme for Purim, thanks to my husband’s input.
It began with the matching costumes I bought for all of the men and boys in the family: golden knee length caftans with thin blue stripes, with matching vests and flat topped round velvet hats. My husband wanted make them more fun, so he bought sequined yellow bow ties and yellow knee socks to accessorize with.
Then he suggested sending yellow foods in our mishloach manos to match, for a message of ‘Orah v’simcha’ – ‘Light and happiness’.
To accomodate his request, I prepared tomato salad using yellow cherry tomatoes, and baked fish with a tumeric spice blend topping for the yellow color. My husband wrote up a short verse to attach to our mishloach manos.
A mother in the community requested that parents consider not sending the usual sugary snacks for the kids mishloach manos exchange, and I committed to doing that. I sent mini containers of roasted peanuts, golden raisins and popcorn.
My husband took the kids to deliver around the neighborhood, and made one trip by car to friends further away. We missed a couple of families but mostly gave everyone we had planned to give to. The kids had a great time, and of course, were exhilarated by their snack hauls.
When they came home, we had our Purim seuda: hot dogs, meatballs, grilled chicken wings, french fries and red pepper strips, along with additions from mishloach manos sent to us. I appreciate that most of our friends also sent real foods: homemade cheese, granola, yogurt, chickpeas, sourdough bread, spelt challah, olives, as well as desserts.
Afterwards, we went to drop off the two remaining mishloach manos we hadn’t delivered, and at the second home, were invited in for the Purim seuda that several large families were having together. We ended up staying for almost two hours, and we all enjoyed it very much.
During that time, ds13 walked over to the yeshiva gedola to join their seuda they had recently begun, and when we realized he was missing, my husband took the younger two boys with him to get him. They ended up having a nice time at the yeshiva seuda also!
Finally we set off for home, with very well-fed children filled with the Purim spirit and put our exhausted kiddies straight to bed. From there, my husband went to shul and from there, to yet another seuda, this time at the home of the rav (rabbi) of our shul.
Amazingly, we didn’t have any sirens in the middle of the day!
It was a lovely, fun, enjoyable day for us all., and my sixteen year old told me it was his most inspiring Purim yet.
Avivah
2 Responses
What a relatable post, Avivah!
I actually wasn’t feeling as tired of the war as you – perhaps more of a feeling of relief that a nuclear Iran is less of a possibility. But now I’m developing a nasty cold – I often get sick from sleep deprivation, and there’s not much I can do about it now, especially going into the Pesach season. Everyone called the last Iran war Mivtza Gezel Sheina (Operation sleep deprivation), and it seems that nothing has changed. Even my naps have been interrupted.
My biggest concern is getting my handicapped son to the miklat on time, which is pretty much impossible. (We don’t have a mamad/ safe room.) Depending on the time of day, he is either the last one into the miklat, or he just stays at home in an inner hallway with my husband, while I take the other children to the miklat. (I know that this is an ongoing issue for people with physical handicaps who live without a mamad, and it’s been a discussion on special needs boards for as long as I can remember. We are fortunate to live on the same floor as the miklat, so he can at least get there sometimes.)
Other than that, though, I enjoy the feeling of camaraderie and neighborliness that develops from spending time together with everyone in our building multiple times a day. We hosted a children’s costume party in the miklat on Sunday, and a hamantasch bake on Monday to keep the kids entertained. One of our neighbors read the megilla in the miklat as well. We had multiple sirens on Shushan Purim, and the miklat was filled with yeshiva boys singing and dancing. I think people made an extra effort to have an especially joyous Purim this year. (Even the parking situation in Jerusalem on Purim was as joyously horrific as ever.) Mostly I just feel grateful to be living in Jerusalem during such openly miraculous times. I am working on praying and on raising emotionally resilient children who share my love for this tiny country, with all its ups and downs.
I appreciate hearing about the feeling of communal connection you and your neighbors are creating together at this time! Wow, hamantaschen baking in the shelter…amazing!
We’ve also used our time together in the safe room to connect and make it positive for the children. The advance alert and sirens are anxiety producing, but we find that since we’re calm and positive, so are the kids.