Avivah Werner

Author: Avivah

  • New grandson, homeschool alumni panel, changes to our homeschool

    We have been blessed with our third grandson two days ago – first three granddaughters were born within nine months of each other, and now these three little boys born within a year! (We’re waiting for one more addition in the next few weeks.) It’s so nice that as they grow up and we have family get togethers, the cousins will all have each other.

    Two days old

    And so he won’t be left out since I didn’t announce when he was born, here’s me with my beautiful second grandson three months ago.

    ———————————–

    Dd21 and I went to Jerusalem yesterday to see the new baby, and we had the luxury of a long day of driving together that provided the opportunity for hours of shmoozing time. It’s really interesting to watch one’s children become independent, thoughtful adults with well-formed opinions. I reread a couple of John Taylor Gatto’s books recently (Dumbing Us Down and Weapons of Mass Instruction – I highly recommend them both if you want to expand your thinking about education). His writing from twenty and and eleven years ago is remarkably relevant to current events. Dd picked up the book one day when I left it out, and has found his writing insightful and thought-provoking, and we’ve had some really great conversations about the themes he discusses.

    Last year I gave the keynote talk at the online Jewish Homeschooling Summit (our first grandson was born that morning!), and though this year I’m not able to participate, dd21 will be joining the alumni panel tonight. The conference is free, and details of the schedule are here. Recordings are available if you can’t participate live. (Edited to add: though she had a lot to say, she only got one question so you won’t hear much of her very well thought-out and articulated positions on education.)

    ——————————————

    Meanwhile, it looks like we’ll be having some shifts to our homeschooling. Ds15 is seriously considering leaving high school to learn at home. He’s very mature and is taking the time to weigh the decision, evaluating the benefits and disadvantages of each option. The main advantage is the doors that may open later on, for example, to the post high school yeshiva that his older brother attended. The main disadvantage is spending years waiting to do the things you really want to do, which closes other doors. I would love to have him home again but will support whatever choice he makes.

    ——————————————-

    We had a visitor this Shabbos and spent hours chatting. This resulted in me agreeing – for the first time ever, despite many requests over the years – to include her thirteen year old son in our homeschooling lives. (He’ll be living with us during the week, going home for Shabbos.) We’ll be doing a week long trial, after we get home from the Shabbos bris of our grandson ***. If it goes well, we’ll extend the trial for another few weeks. My husband was surprised that I agreed, but I think it will be a positive thing for all the boys – hers and mine.

    We’re looking to do a house swap for this Shabbos with someone in the Rechavia neighborhood of Jerusalem with a three bedroom apartment. If you know someone, or are that someone and want to enjoy a Shabbos in the gorgeous north, please be in touch via email. (My name@yahoo.com)

    Avivah

  • Is there anything cuter than baby chicks??

    Every morning, I go out with the leftovers from dinner to feed the chickens – as soon as they see me they run from the far side of the yard for their breakfast! Our chickens have a very nice life free ranging in the yard and they return the favor by scratching around in my garden beds, eating bugs and fertilizing the soil – it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. Then they turn my scraps into eggs – and now, into baby chicks!

    Yesterday afternoon ds14 came in with great excitement to announce that there were two newly hatched chicks. His hen made her nest at the base of the pandorea vine, and was almost completely surrounded by the leaves. I could hardly make out one chick – he said the other was under its mother.

    This morning, I thought I’d be helpful and put food next to her nest so she doesn’t have to go hungry while sitting on her eggs. But she jumped up with the others to get food, so I peered in. I saw one little chick looking solemnly out at me. I stepped back to look around to see where the other chick was, and saw it had followed its mother. Then that one ventured out to join them, so all three had breakfast with the others.

    Many mornings after putting ds9 and ds4 on their school van mornings I go out and sit in the yard and just sit and watch the chickens. They’re very entertaining, much more than ducks.

    I thought that ducklings were the cutest thing ever, but I think it might actually be baby chicks. I had the strongest desire to just scoop up and stroke the little chick learning to walk on his new legs, but I didn’t. Instead I took a picture for you.

    Ds14 has had a variety of experiences raising poultry – starting with ducks, then quail, then chickens and lastly geese, and has decided that chickens are the very best. (I agree.) These chickens hatch their own eggs, versus him needing to incubate the eggs for all the other birds. Did you think that all birds hatch their own eggs? Not at all. It’s been bred out of them, I suppose. After all the ups and down and various experiences he’s had, it’s been especially gratifying for him to watch his flock multiply without his intensive involvement.

    As we were watching together, he commented, “It’s so nice for the chickens to have mothers.” As attentive and responsible as he is, it’s a qualitatively different experience being raised by a mother hen, who keeps her chicks warm under her, teaches them to run and forage, shows them how to be safe, and protects them from threats.

    Mother hen with chicks that are less then a day old

    It’s also really nice for him to watch things come full circle. He bought the original chicks in the beginning of the spring when they were two weeks old. A few died in the early days, a couple were sold as they got bigger (not more than one rooster, I insisted!) but mostly he’s watched them grow and it’s really nice now to see them with chicks of their own.

    These tiny guys aren’t the first chicks to hatch this season. Four chickens went broody all at once – one hen made her nest in one area, and three others all sat in nests right next to one another. The first eggs to hatch were from one of the three hens – only two eggs hatched, and those hens sitting right next to the mother were just as proud and protective as if they were their own (none of the other eggs hatched). Those chicks are now about six weeks old, and they still all travel together, as well as another hen who latched on to them as soon as the first chicks hatched. My son says they have four mothers; I think of them as one mother and three very devoted aunts.

    The second hen hatched three eggs, and she runs around on her own with them.

    Mother hen with six weeks old chicks

    It was a surprise when ds found the new nest a week or two ago; it was well hidden and he wasn’t expecting it. There are eight more eggs still in the nest and when dd21 checked them she said they all look viable. We were pleasantly surprised that they were fertile since the rooster was rehomed before Sukkos. I don’t know what we’re going to do with them if they all hatch, but one thing is for certain – they aren’t all going to stay here!

    Avivah

  • Spending time alone in nature and sharing it with my children

    I’ve had a lovely few weeks of living life without writing anything about it and I’m now back with you!

    This morning I went for a short walk and discovered a beautiful private spot near a stream. I went down next to the water and sat there for quite a while, just being quiet. I found it’s not so easy to sit and be present with the sounds of nature around me without wanting to reach for something to listen to or read or write. I’ve gotten used to listening to podcasts/recordings/meditations/music when by myself, and although these are often very positive, centering, gentle messages, they nonetheless keep me from being truly alone with myself. Hence my recognition of inner restlessness this morning.

    It’s not easy to be with one’s self without distraction, but it’s important. I’m reading Digital Minimalism, by Cal Newport, and he has a chapter on the benefits of solitude. Never in history, he says, have we had the possibility of never being alone with ourselves. Not in the car, not walking somewhere or waiting somewhere. Thanks to modern technology that allows us to access non-stop entertainment and information, we never have to be alone with ourselves.

    He quotes Michael Harris, author of Solitude, who says that three crucial benefits of time by one’s self are: new ideas, understanding yourself, and closeness to others.

    I don’t have to read a book, though, to know that I always feel better after time alone in nature. I like the inner calm that comes from slowing down and being present with myself, and helps me be more present in the moment for others.

    My daughter was sharing with me about an interaction with a woman who is around seventy, and said it’s nice that older people often have the ability to hold space for others. Unless, she added, they have a smartphone. Her observation made me sad. It’s really a challenge to hold onto yourself in the digital world, and even those who have lived many decades without it have been sucked in. Online technology is touted as the answer to social isolation for people of all ages, but what it too often ends up doing is stealing us from ourselves and those around us.

    I sometimes think that more nature is the solution to almost everything. Nature always holds a space for us. It just is, and allows your mind to slow down, and to find the stillness in yourself. We are all calmer, happier people in the context of nature. I am extremely blessed to live where I have so much more access to nature than I have in the past (as you know, that’s what the impetus for making the move here was), and even when I don’t go out of my yard (which is most of the time – I’ve become quite a homebody), I find deep pleasure sitting on my patio, looking out at the fields and mountains.

    Last week I took an early morning nature walk and I crossed paths with a teen boy riding a horse. Not galloping or anything exciting, just a slow, plodding pace. A couple mornings later I crossed paths with a different teen boy, and thought how wonderful it is that these young men have this space for themselves.

    I’ve regularly noticed that a day or two after my fifteen year old comes back from school, as the ‘city’ energy is released from him, he gets more upbeat and I sense an inner calm stealing over him. We had a number of guests over the summer in our vacation apartment, and I saw it happening with them also – they came with a faster moving energy, and after a couple of days they had a more relaxed vibe. It’s the effect of the natural environment.

    Green Renaissance Films make short films of ten minutes ore less that celebrate the inner beauty of regular people who are living their lives in harmony with their values. It doesn’t seem incidental that nature is important to them all.

    I just started a read aloud of My Side of the Mountain with my boys (dd21 ended up joining us, too); I’ve read it with the older kids but these boys were too young to remember it. I’ve loved this book since I read it as a ten year old! This fictional book is about a thirteen year old who leaves home to live alone in the Catskill mountains, and the life he creates for himself. As I was sitting in my quiet spot this morning, I thought how I’d love to share it with the boys, and when I came home told them that today we’ll be doing our reading in this spot. Dd 21 is planning to travel to Jerusalem today, and I asked her if she’ll be able to join us. She’s going to schedule her bus so that she can come with us. They’ll experience the book in a different way when sitting next to a gently rippling stream, in the middle of a bamboo thicket while listening to me read.

    That’s where we’ll be going in about twenty minutes. I’m looking forward to it!

    Avivah

  • Bulk food shopping option for regular shoppers

    Before I left social media months ago, I was part of a Facebook frugality in Israel group.

    In that group, someone mentioned going to a store that sells to smaller storeowners and directly to the retail buyer as well, and finding significant savings. This is a unique shopping opportunity, since almost none of the wholesale stores sell to private individuals.

    Naturally, I made a note of the details and put it into my schedule to check it out.

    The first time walking into this store was a bit overwhelming. It’s different, and you feel that as soon as you get your shopping cart, which is a heavy duty loading cart. I learned that it’s a good idea to find several discarded boxes and put them on my cart as soon as I go in, to put your small items in, since they would fall off a cart like this. (Empty boxes are discarded as they are unpacked throughout the store.)

    Once inside, items are available in standard sizes with a minimum purchase of six or twelve, or in larger sizes just one can be bought. Prices, if listed, are all listed before ma’am (17% sales tax). Lots of things don’t have the price listed, and when I first went in, I wasn’t impressed since I saw items I could buy for less at my local large supermarket chains.

    However!! It was worth continuing on past my initial impression, because if you’re a discriminating shopper and you pay attention to item pricing, you can definitely save a lot of money. Just don’t assume that everything will be cheaper. Which is true when you go into any store, really.

    When I shopped for my fifteen year old’s bar mitzva, I saved a ton by getting many of the items here. They have almost everything you would get in a regular store, but in bigger quantities. So you’ll find paper goods, cleaning products, drinks, food – but not fresh vegetables or chicken and meat, and there’s a very limited dairy/refrigerator section.

    It’s not a store I regularly shop at, since it’s so far away. But when I’m ready for a group buy of staple items, it’s worth the trip. So don’t be quick to dismiss this as an option for you, because even if you don’t have a big family, if you shop with a couple of friends, you can all save money.

    Spices – these are available in bags of a kilo, and I haven’t found anywhere cheaper for them. Previously I was buying the largest size spice containers at Osher Ad, but this is definitely a much better price.

    Dried fruits, nuts, seeds – also all available in 1 kilo bags, and also good prices. Again, I haven’t found cheaper prices.

    Canned goods – you can get flats of twelve of whatever items you usually buy, but that’s more than I can store so I generally don’t get them. They also have 10# cans, which I find more helpful for items I use a lot of like tomato paste, olives, and pickles. (There are all kinds of canned goods in both sizes, I’m just mentioning what I get.)

    I used to get vaccuum packed tuna in kilo packaging, but I haven’t seen that for a long time. Then I got the 2 kilo packages of tuna instead, which I didn’t find nearly as useful because there’s just too much in each package, but now that’s no longer in stock either. And it’s been over a year since the canned salmon I used to buy has been available. It definitely makes me wonder. Maybe it’s there at other times than when I’m there. But although it’s not personally as helpful for me, there was still plenty of other canned fish items in different sizes when I last went.

    Refrigerator items – there is a built in dairy room that reminds me of the walk through freezers when I used to shop in Amish country, though this is on a very small scale. They have cheeses, butters, large containers of chummus and a few other dips.

    Snacks and candy – there is a huge selection of these things, and though I don’t buy any of it, I see it’s a big item for the kiosk owners. (Most of the other shoppers are restaurant or store owners – you can tell if someone is shopping for a store or for themselves by a glance at their cart.)

    Condiments – this is interesting, because there is such a huge variety of sizes. For example, you can get a liter container of soy sauce or a five gallon bucket. I like getting the four liter container of vinegar since I use vinegar and baking soda for cleaning, and I rarely see that size in regular retail stores. They have all the sauces that restaurants use in their cooking.

    Legumes and grains – they have packages with ten or twelve standard sized units, or you can get 5 kilo bags. Or 25 kilo bags (other than sugar, five kilo is as much as I buy here – but again, with friends, splitting bigger packaging could be a great option).

    They also have things like eggs and packaged baked goods. Other than for the bar mitzva, I haven’t bought any of that but the savings were significant then.

    I took this picture to show you the biggest sizes available in the very back, but in most of the store the items are packed in a more user friendly way for a family. I didn’t think of taking a picture for you until the end of my shopping, though.

    You can find other pictures and videos if you want to get a better sense of it from their FB page, which also has address details. Shimurei Eichut, Holon. (In case you’re wondering, I have no financial links to them and receive no compensation for sharing this information.)

    As prices move up, it’s helpful to know there are other shopping options that can help keep your budget in check!

    Avivah

  • Thoughts before Rosh Hashana, changing our future

    We stand at the beginning of a new year, at a time when the fate of all humanity will be determined for the year to come.

    When I think of the enormity of Rosh Hashana, I consider the year behind us and all that has happened. All of that was determined last Rosh Hashana. And so, if there is something that we would like to be different this year, if there is something that troubles us, this is the time to throw ourselves into prayer and beg G-d that the coming year be different.

    I’ve shared about the deep, deep satisfaction and happiness I have when all of my children are together and enjoying one another’s company. I don’t think there’s anything else that brings me that kind of pleasure. I sometimes think about G-d looking down on His children – what would bring Him more pleasure than His children all getting along with one another?

    People across the world have become fractured and feel separate from and sometimes even hostile towards those who think differently or make different choices. As hard as it may feel, if we can put those differences aside and instead of seeing a position, look at the person behind it, to value and appreciate the person, if we can have good will towards others and presume they have good intentions towards us – we can change the future.

    Because when G-d sees us showing love and compassion for one another, it awakens His compassion for us. We are all imperfect, we all make mistakes and have endless room for growth, but when we come together with a desire for harmony, there is nothing that our loving Father wants to see more than His children getting along.

    United we stand, divided we fall. This is true in so many ways. May we all be inscribed for a year of revealed blessing.

    I wish for everyone one of you a year of health, blessing, joy in your family relationships, and a feeling of trust and well-being in your inner and outer worlds.

    Much love to you all,

    Avivah

  • After a year and a half, both of my youngest children are in school!

    Ds4 has been homeschooling for the last year and a half, and made amazing strides. I haven’t mentioned him for a while, so here’s a quick update.

    He’s always been smart – I told his bio parents when I first met them that I was sure he would be! – and now is visibly much more confident and secure than he was when he was last in school (March 2019). His physical development has been fantastic – climbing, running, swimming; a father of a toddler with Trisomy 21 met him in a park and told me he can’t keep his eyes off him, that he was inspired to see a child with Down syndrome move like he does. I get the same kind of comments we hear with ds9 – are you sure he has Down syndrome? The regular kind? Really? But he doesn’t look like it….

    All of our kids are very good mediators, and in ds9 he has his own one-on-one private tutor for hours every day. He even taught ds4 to swim this summer.

    And now, finally, he’s going to school! He’s really ready in every way. And so am I.

    We had hoped to send him to a local multi-age mainstream kindergarten a few minutes from our home, but after two conversations with the teacher, it was clear that she may be a good administrator but warmth and flexibility aren’t her strong points (or maybe they just don’t come across on the phone). Her obvious impatience with me and disinterest in having ds4 in her class caused me to eliminate what seemed like an ideal inclusive option, and instead register him at the special needs school that ds9 attends. It’s more important to me that he be in a place where there is warmth and appreciation of who he is, than to pursue an supposedly inclusive option that would leave him marginalized.

    Though there’s an afternoon option that every other child in the kindergarten and school attends, I opted not to send either of them. That would mean them leaving home before 7:30 am and coming home at 6:30pm. Instead, they’ll be leaving school at around 1 and home by 2:15 pm. I’ve been told again and again what a shame it is that they’re missing out on all the extracurricular fun activities, but I’m okay with that. Building relationships takes time, and our connection with them would be negatively impacted if they’re gone all day, every day.

    I didn’t send ds4 the first two days of school since he had a mild eye infection. Instead, we inaugurated the first official day of school with a trip to a beach at the Kineret.

    There was a homeschool meet up scheduled at that same beach for 10 am and though I would have loved to have met other families, the beach isn’t really a great place if you have modesty concerns. We go early in the mornings when we mostly have the beach to ourselves.

    Ds12 swimming

    Anyway, ds4 has been asking me for months when he’s going to to school, and was so happy to finally go with ds9 on the van this morning!

    After I sent them off, it struck me that for the first time in a year and a half, I could do something without having to be conscious of the presence of a younger child. Though I still have two children homeschooling (12 and 14), parenting teens is very different than young children! It’s such a nice thing to have quiet space that isn’t carved out while my children are present.

    Less than 90 minutes after putting them on the van, ds9’s teacher called. She notified me that the students in her class had a 45 minute session with a specialized teacher on the first day of school. That teacher just got a positive covid test, and ds9 will now have to go into quarantine for the next week and a half.

    I wryly smiled inside – my quiet time will have to wait a while longer!

    I’m grateful that at least ds4 was able to go on the school van for the first time together with ds9. I knew having his older brother’s ongoing presence would make the transition to kindergarten easier on him, but even if it was only one time during this early transition to school period, that still has been helpful for ds4.

    And so the school year has begun, kind of!

    Avivah

  • Making homemade grape juice – so easy!

    I’m fortunate that being in an more agriculturally oriented area, that sometimes I get really good deals on produce. It tends to be feast or famine (like when friends of the farmer picked and shared watermelons left in the field after harvesting with us and many others, and every day for a couple of weeks our boys ate an entire watermelon. Seriously. Every.Single.Day.). It’s not predictable at all. But when it works out, it’s really nice.

    Last week I got a great deal on green grapes (free :)). I decided to get more than what I would use for eating during the course of the week, and to experiment with using them for making grape juice.

    It’s been a loooong time since I made homemade grape juice. (Nice thing about having a blog is I can check details like this – it’s been twelve years!) And I didn’t know if green grapes would make good juice. But with the price being what it was, it seemed like a worthwhile experiment. 🙂

    Ds13 did the first batch, and he did it his way. Though I shared the general instructions with him, he didn’t feel there was any point in heating the grapes before blending them and then straining, so his batch was totally raw. Very fresh tasting. A day later it began to ferment, and then he had fizzy grape juice. I thought that improved the flavor!

    But I wanted to do it the traditional way, so I made a batch and then ds12 made the final batch. It was interesting that the color changed when cooked. The raw juice was the color of the green grapes, but the cooked juice had a pinkish hue.

    Here’s how complicated making grape juice is: 1) destem the grapes (that’s the most time consuming part). 2) Put them in a pot with some water (I didn’t add too much, but if you wanted it to be less concentrated or added sugar, you could add significantly more water), and sugar if you desire (we didn’t desire :)). 3) Let boil and then continue simmering on low for about fifteen minutes. 4) Mash the grape mixture with a potato masher to release the flavors. (You can also use a food processor but this was easier.) 5) Strain. Voila!

    It’s fun to make something that you’re used to thinking of as an item you need to buy at the store.

    I don’t have a lot of freezer space for a bunch of bottles, and I had just bought some glass jars the day before, so we decided to preserve the juice so that it would be shelf stable.

    I haven’t canned in AGES. I used a couple of recycled juice jars, and all the rest were standard glass jars with pop-top vacuum lids. (These lids vacuum seal when water bathed.) Since I could only fit six jars in the pot and I wanted to go rest, I asked ds13 to finish canning the last jars.

    When I woke up, he had cleaned up the kitchen for Shabbos, the jars were not only taken out but had cooled and put on the pantry shelf. He was so excited to show me! It really is gratifying to do something like this; I know that very pleasant productive feeling.

    From our free grapes, we made 13.5 liters of sugar-free, all natural grape juice (there are four cups to a liter). We canned 11.5 liters; the two liters of raw juice we didn’t heat process and enjoyed as is. We opened the first bottle that evening for Shabbos kiddush, and all agreed that it was very tasty. We should have enough to get us through the holidays, when we can share it with visiting family!

    Avivah

  • Green Pass restrictions, creating the world we want to live in

    Yesterday morning I went to a bris. When the baby cries, the window to heaven is open and it’s an opportune time for prayer. And I prayed for the coming year, that worldwise we experience healing, connection, expansion, safety, and to connect with G-d from a place of abundance (versus suffering).

    Then I came home, and read an article that a friend and blog reader sent me regarding the opening of schools on September 1. At times like this I have to work hard not to feel despair at the Orwellian reality that has descended on this world, on this country, that saying the things that were written in this article are considered acceptable.

    Background: the Green Pass system states the following: those who have gotten the *poke (explantion of why I use this term below), recovered from the virus or get a negative test result can participate in normative life. Anyone else can live on the edges of society, without being able to work, go to school, or whatever else they’re going to include – they started the process by letting those who met the criteria access cultural events, restaurant dining and the like, but are moving on to limiting access to core needs.

    The policies and accompanying coercion are being justified as necessary for the health of society. Is it really about that?

    People who got the poke can get the virus. People who got the virus can get it again. People who never got the virus can get the virus. We all know this.

    If all those people can catch something and potentially spread it to others, why do two of those groups get a Green Pass, and only one group is barred from inclusion? After all, they are all at risk and they can all potentially put others at risk. Why is it safe for someone in the first two categories to mingle, when they are can also be a carrier of the dreaded disease?

    From the article: “[Why should] an unvaccinated student who refuses to be tested should come to school and endanger the other children or the teachers?” he asked. “A sick person should remain at home.”

    Does anyone else see the logic that is missing from this assumption? Someone who doesn’t want a test or a poke is not ipso facto sick. A healthy person is not endangering anyone, regardless of what medical procedures he does or doesn’t do. The prevailing narrative has become, get the poke and you’re at no risk and you present no risk. This is factually incorrect. Someone who got the poke isn’t ipso facto healthy, and still has the potential to pass a virus along.

    From the article: “If a student refuses to be tested, then obviously he has something to hide. He won’t be vaccinated and also won’t be tested? Maybe the parents want to send him to school so that it’ll be easier for them.”

    Every parent sends their child to school because it’s easier for them and they think it’s to the child’s benefit. Obviously, if it wasn’t, they wouldn’t do it. Parents are all sending their kids to school for the same reasons. Why is he sowing suspicion of other parents who have a difference of opinion about the desired course of action? Who does that benefit?

    When this article was sent to me, it was with the comment, “Serious breakthrough for homeschoolers.”

    I don’t see this as a positive breakthrough of anything. This is a breakdown of a democratic society veering right into totalitarianism.

    If someone wants to homeschool, I support that. But to leave parents with no choice but to homeschool, in effect forcing children from school, because they don’t want to comply with very questionable policies that are being passed by a few politicians at 2 am when no one can comment or question them? No. I don’t support that and I certainly don’t celebrate that.

    (And if you think that the Ministry of Education is going to approve all these parents who have been forced out of school for homeschooling, you’re greatly mistaken. It’s acceptable for them to drop the ball for over a year on the education of the students they are responsible for, but they aren’t going to be quick to pass the ball to someone else to play with. Make no mistake, they aren’t trying to expand educational options to benefit students, but to force parents into a corner.)

    Here’s the paradigm that we’ve all grown up with: if you go along with whatever the government tells you, you’re a good and moral person. If you don’t, you deserve to suffer the full weight of the law. And that makes sense to us, because we see the laws that are passed as something that are necessary for the safety of society, that people who break the law are endangering us.

    Is there ever a point that a citizen can question the actions that a government is taking? Has it ever happened that a government has taken actions and imposed policies that weren’t for the well-being of the population they were responsible for?

    We’re being told these Green Pass policies are for the safety of society, and as is our habit, we agree that going along with the government decisions is good, that it’s all for our benefit. But what if the presumption that we are working from isn’t accurate? What if the Green Pass system isn’t about public safety, but about forcing compliance? They created a carrot to give to those who did what they wanted, which simultaneously created leverage to discriminate against those who didn’t go along with what was originally a voluntary plan. The result is institutionalized medical segregation.

    Is there any point that people can be allowed to have a difference of opinion? Because right now a second class citizenry is rapidly being created, where no benefits will be available to them if they don’t act the way the government demands. We’ve seen how that works. World War II. Communist Russia. China. North Korea. There’s a very long list and it always goes the same way.

    Please, please think about where this is going. No matter how strongly you may fear the virus and support these policies, can you take a step back and consider what is happening to the lives of those who feel differently?

    Stephen Covey writes, before climbing a ladder, make sure it’s leaning on the right wall. What if we’re climbing a ladder of policies and it’s on the wrong wall, taking us all in the wrong direction?

    How successful have all the preventative actions taken been until now, to wipe out the virus?

    What if we had helped people eat better, think more positively, destress, feel safe and loved, decreased the financial pressures they felt? What if we had supported immune systems in the many, many ways possible? (That would have included mainstream Western medical options.) Should we continue with policies that are creating enormous ongoing stress for everyone, depressing the immune systems of us all? Should fear and dissension be spread rather than a spirit of working together, of valuing the differences, of assuming good intentions?

    Could there have been a different way of handling this situation that might have had more positive outcomes?

    The definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results. That’s what is happening. The policies – masking, pokes, lockdowns, arresting those who didn’t comply – didn’t work. Their conclusion? We didn’t do it seriously enough yet, or to enough people.

    A mistaken conclusion is never going to bring you the results you want. Let’s hit the child when he doesn’t do what we want. Oh, he’s crying? Hit him harder, that will teach him a lesson. Mainstream thinking is that upping the ante of consequences will make people do what we want.

    They can oppress more and more people, create more fear and anxiety. Meanwhile, everyone who falls into line can virtue signal about how they are good and the others are bad. The bad people don’t deserve the benefits of the good people. Unlike the Jews in the Holocaust or the blacks in the pre-civil rights era who suffered from something they couldn’t change, in this case, it’s okay to persecute people because it’s all their fault, they brought it on themselves by their noncompliance.

    Blaming the victims is always an effective strategy.

    The above approach was never going to work because that’s not how viruses work. Viruses have a natural life cycle, when they surge and when they seem to be gone. They aren’t. They’re just in the down cycle. They don’t go away, they continually mutate and adapt. They’re here to stay.

    And whether we like it or not, the world we lived in is gone. It’s never coming back. Now it’s up to us to think about the world we want to create, and how to participate in that. Do you want a discriminatory medical apartheid system to be part of that world?

    Avivah

    *I’m using the word ‘poke’ as a replacement to something else that will trigger censorship; all recognized substitutes will similarly trigger. I in no way intend it derisively, it’s simply my attempt to find a way to dialogue about issues of the day.

  • Vision board workshop with my family

    Last night I was planning to do a vision board workshop with the teen girls that I give a Shabbos shiur to, but there was a scheduling conflict so I rescheduled it.

    All my family members happened to be home at 5 pm and it occurred to me, why not do a family workshop right now!

    Everyone was game, and quickly cleared the table and took out art materials. I put out the pile of collected magazines.

    What is a vision board? A vision board is a tool to help a person clarify, visualize and connect emotionally to their desire for the coming year. For this reason I feel it’s especially appropriate to do before Rosh Hashana.

    I started by explaining to my family the purpose. Then, each person was to cut out pictures or words that were emotionally resonant for them. They didn’t have to know why something resonated, but just to recognize that something about it felt good to them.

    After collecting the images, they are pasted onto a paper to create a collage of good feeling images.

    Since each picture is chosen for what it represents to the person himself, no one else can accurately interpret what was chosen without hearing the explanation. Often what it looks like and what is represents to the person are very different. For example, one son chose a picture of pizza with different toppings to represent balance.

    Everyone enjoyed the creative experience, but then we had to stop to go in our different directions (shul, bar mitzva lesson, dinner). I went to a small Elul gathering in the fields that was so lovely. Several times I noticed my family members were trying to reach me, and when I finally called back at 10:45 pm, they told me they were waiting for me to come home so we could part 2 together.

    I was so touched that they initiated this!

    Part 2 is sharing the significance of what they created together with everyone else. This was so incredibly meaningful and powerful.

    I wasn’t sure they would feel comfortable with this aspect, and stressed when I explained the process initially that no one had to share if they didn’t want to. It takes courage to set an intention and it can feel vulnerable to envision something with no idea of how or when it can happen. And it can feel even more unsafe to share about those intentions with others.

    As nice as the creative process was, sharing about it exponentially deepened the experience. It helped each person further clarify for themselves and for the rest of us what they wanted and their feelings about it.

    I was literally in awe of what each person created, to hear the explanation of what each picture and saying chosen meant to him. Even knowing my children as well as I do, I wouldn’t have guessed what many of the pictures represented. So much depth and to hear about what was chosen, what was cut out so it didn’t appear in the vision board…wow.

    A few of us want to continue adding to the vision boards today. One came home from davening and by 7:45 am was already looking through the magazines for more images to add. Everyone in our family who was home made a vision board (two aren’t shown), except for ds4 (though he was actively present, including through session 2, which took place from around 11 pm until midnight).

    It was a great experience and one that I am so grateful we were able to do together!

    Avivah

  • Are food prices rising?

    Have any of you checked your grocery receipts and noticed food prices seem to be going up?

    I have!

    For the most part, I’m not seeing major increases. Well, except for meat at the supermarket I regularly shop at, which went up about 25%, and ground beef hasn’t been available for several months now. The butcher can’t explain why it’s disappeared or why prices jumped like this. I know that’s not the case everywhere, and that increase isn’t typical. What I am consistently noticing are steady smaller increases.

    I talked to a couple of people who work in wholesale food sales, who both told me that prices are “jumping” at the wholesale level. I’m always interested in the behind the scenes understanding of what’s going on, so I asked each of they could explain what is causing the prices to increase.

    One didn’t know (but he told me if there was something I wanted, to buy more of it than I would usually buy to offset the ongoing price increases), but the other told me that shipping costs are dramatically rising, that costs have shipping containers have gone from less than $3000 for a load to several times that. Those shipping costs have to be passed on to the consumer, which means…higher food costs.

    And that’s not affecting just food. A few weeks ago at the housewares store I spoke to the owner while I was checking out. Literally as I was at the checkout, they increased the price of my item by five shekels. When I asked why, they told me their shipping costs are rising and they are raising the prices on every item by five shekels.

    Then a week later I went into one of my favorite nurseries, and noticed that plants that were 25 shekels the week before were now 37, and that every single plant had increased in cost. This time the owner was busy and I didn’t ask him why everything had gone up so much.

    I found it interesting. But while the food wholesalers were very clear about their concern, increases take time to trickle down to the retail market, and maybe it’s not yet so noticeable that prices are moving up?

    And this was also interesting – the US has announced that it will be increasing food stamp benefits by 25% on October 1. To me it seems that those making the decisions expect retail prices to rise and are preparing the recipients accordingly.

    What does that mean practically? One super helpful strategy for keeping a food budget in check is buying the sales. If you have a freezer, you might want to buy some extra chicken or meat at today’s prices, which may be tomorrow’s sale prices. You might want to buy a bit more of the foods that you already eat, particularly those that are non-perishables. If the prices go up more, you’ll save money; if prices don’t move up any further (let’s hope!), you’ll still be eating the same groceries you would have eaten anyway!

    I’m curious about if you’re seeing anything like this where you live. My impression is that prices are rising faster in other parts of the world than Israel. Have you noticed food increases, and if so, what kind of increases?

    Avivah