Blog

  • The busy summer season is in full swing at our house!

    It’s a busy season of life now and I haven’t done a personal update for a while so here goes!

    Dd20 moved back home several weeks after we moved to RBS while she continues to work in Jerusalem.  Dd18 graduated seminary last week (I’m not supposed to embarrass her and say how she was honored so I won’t) and moved back home this week.  She’s finishing her second year of industrial design and has one year remaining of her college studies.  We now have three girls in the girls’ room and had to add closet space and additional shelving to accommodate the increase in storage needs.  🙂  It is SO nice to have the older girls at home again, even though they’re so busy with work and school that we don’t see much of them.

    Tonight we hosted a bridal shower for a friend of dd20 and dd18; I simultaneously attended a high school graduation.  Tomorrow afternoon is a petter chamor ceremony locally that I’d like to take the kids to; I’ve only been to one before this and most people have never been to one at all.  Tomorrow morning this is what we’ll be learning about before we go!

    Tomorrow night there will be a presentation I’m planning to attend in RBS called “Seeing the Beauty in Those Who Are Different”.  This will be “a one-of-a-kind, fascinating event on how we can all understand better the mindset, capabilities and drives of those with Down Syndrome. But really, the event is about seeing the beauty in those who are different from ourselves.”  I hope that this will be an empowering evening that will open peoples’ minds to the potential and abilities of people with T21.

    Family members from the US arrived a couple of days ago to share in the celebration of our upcoming bar mitzva!  Ds12 put on tefillin for the first time on erev Shabbos/Shavuos.  This Shabbos we’ll be having family members with us for all the meals for a total of about 20.  We’re keeping our plans on a smaller scale than our last bar mitzva, to honor the personality and preferences of the son we’re celebrating with.

    This coming week dh and I will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary.

    We have Yirmiyahu’s third birthday coming up a week after the bar mitzva which means we’ll be having his upsherin (haircut for a boy when he turns three).  I can’t believe how big he is already!  The time really has flown by.

    Even without all of these milestone events, I’ve been busier than ever since moving!  There are a lot of choices for how to spend my time and now more than ever I need to plan carefully to make room for what’s important so it doesn’t get crowded out.

    Avivah

  • Fun and Easy Granola – recipe

    SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESToday my home is filled with the delicious smells of homemade granola!

    Granola makes a yummy and quick breakfast or snack, and is a fun and gratifying activity to do with kids with just a bit of oversight from you!

    And if you’ve ever seen the price for ready made granola in the store, after making this you’ll wonder why anyone would pay so much. 🙂

    Fun and Easy Granola

    • 3 c. rolled oats
      • 1/2 c. oil
      • 1/4 – 1/2 c. sweetener (honey, date syrup, sugar)
      • 1 t. vanilla
    • 1 c. coarsely chopped nuts (almonds, walnuts, peanuts)
    • 1 c. shredded or flaked coconut
    • 1/2 c. sesame seeds
    • 1 c. sunflower seeds (or sliced almonds, chopped walnuts)
    • optional – dried fruit (eg raisins, banana chips, papaya, mango, apple – anything!) chocolate chips –

    Mix the oil, sweetener and vanilla together and heat over a low flame for 5 minutes.  Pour the hot mixture over the oats and mix thoroughly.  Spread in a thin layer on a baking pan, then bake at 300 degrees for about 45, stirring periodically.  Mix the remaining dry ingredients and add them to the cooled oats.  If you want to add dried fruit or chocoiate chips, you can also add that now.

    That’s it!

    Not so photogenic but very delicious!
    Doesn’t look like much but it tastes sooo good!

    – I made three times this recipe, using 1 kg of oats as a base.  I used coconut oil but you can use any oil.

    – If you’re using sugar for your sweetener then stay to the lower side of the recommended amount.

    – Granola is incredibly flexible and you can add in all kinds of nuts and dried fruit to keep it different and fun every time.

    Avivah

     

  • The things I love about my new kitchen – pictures

    Last week I shared with you my disappointment about my kitchen counters.  Now I’m moving on to the good things.  The final cosmetic finishes aren’t yet done but today I’ll share with you some of what I love about my new kitchen!

    Since I’m constantly cooking and washing dishes, I didn’t want to have a dish drainer on the counter because it’s constantly being filled and it keeps the counter looking untidy.   The solution – hidden built-in dish drainers.  Yep, two of them.  🙂

    Now you see it...then it's closed and you don't!

    Which brings me to the next advantage.  I now have two sinks and they’re both nice and big.  For the first time in many years I have a separate work space for dairy, along with ample storage space for dairy dishes, silverware and pots.  All of a sudden it’s so easy to cook for and clean up from a dairy meal!

    Deep bottom corner cabinets are usually very difficult to access, with lots of wasted space. This corner carousel that makes use of all the space and makes it easy to find what I need.

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    All of the bottom cabinets except one have shelves that pull out so there are lots of drawers.  I strongly prefer drawers.  Here’s what the pull-out shelves look like.

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    Here’s the only cabinet not to have a pullout shelf and it makes it the perfect place for pantry items.  Since it’s a blind corner cabinet, the storage is about double what you can see here.

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    Next to the pantry is this cabinet that has a chrome design on the front that none of the other cabinets have.  Wonder why?

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    Open the doors and you see storage space for vegetables – close at hand but out of sight!  These heavy duty metal slotted drawers together with the special door opening provide air circulation to keep the vegetables fresh.

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    I asked the person who fabricated the countertops to raise them since I’m tall.  That little bit of additional height makes it more comfortable for me to work at the counters.

    I wanted a very light, open look with lots of cabinet and counter space.  At the same time that we have so much more cabinetry in the kitchen, it feels more spacious and open than it did before.

    Front view of kitchen
    Front view of kitchen

    Below is the right side of the kitchen.

    Right side of kitchen
    Right side of kitchen

    The left side of the kitchen that was a holding place for unpacked boxes is now a great work area.

    Left side of kitchen
    Left side of kitchen

    I bought the cabinets used and having all the features I wanted, plus everything fitting into my kitchen space so well is pretty amazing!

    The next thing I’m going to do is put up one more top cabinet in the space next to the window (just thought of how to do this yesterday!), then tile the backsplash and cover the toekick.  That will hopefully bring the entire kitchen together.

    In the meantime, we’re all enjoying our new kitchen!

    Avivah

  • The countertops arrived and my new kitchen is ruined – expectations, disappointment and acceptance

    I haven’t written about my kitchen renovation progress even though the counters were installed a week ago.

    The counter is beautiful.  And the cabinets are beautiful.

    But the shade of the countertops isn’t a perfect match for the cabinets.  The cabinets are a pinkish beige and the countertop is a yellowish beige and while that doesn’t sound like a big deal, it’s off.  It’s not what I was envisioning.

    The loss of a dream can be a very painful thing.

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    When Yirmiyahu was born and I found out he had Trisomy 21, I accepted it very quickly – in less than a minute.  No regrets, no what if, no wishing it would be different.

    But most parents go through a mourning period after learning of the diagnosis, because it’s hard to let go of your dream of who your child will be.

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    Why was it so easy for me to accept my newborn son had Down syndrome and after a week I’m still struggling to accept my countertops being a different shade than I anticipated?

    When I got the news about the T21, it was clear that was the reality and there was nothing that was going to change that.  The only option was to look forward and do the best I could to nurture the child I had.

    I also  have a very strong belief that everything in this world happens as it’s meant to happen, when it’s meant to happen, to whom it’s meant to happen.  G-d doesn’t make mistakes and nothing about Yirmiyahu or him being part of our family was a mistake.

    But this countertop…it felt like a mistake.  My mistake.  I have a good sense of what looks right together.  This isn’t the kind of mistake that I should have made.  Except that I did and how it happened doesn’t really matter.

    And  –  I don’t want to call it grieving because that should be saved for really serious situations – I’m feeling a sense of loss and sadness.  I invested a lot into this project because the final vision of what it would look like motivated me.   After the countertops arrived, I lost all interest in finishing the kitchen.  I wished I hadn’t started it.  Better to have kept the old tiny yucky kitchen than to invest myself in a project that didn’t turn out the way I wanted, my mind said.

    While I can accept what G-d sends, it’s harder for me to accept a mistake that I made and realize, this is also the way that G-d wanted it.

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    As long as I’m wishing I could change the countertops, tell myself that I can’t bear looking at it every day, think how it’s a reminder of my failure – I’m not going to find acceptance.  And without acceptance there’s no emotional peace and definitely no happiness.

    Acceptance truly is the answer.   Acceptance will only come when I can internalize that this is how it is, this is how it’s meant to be and this is G-d’s will just as much as something that doesn’t have any element of human involvement attached to it.  It means focusing on what I have, not on what doesn’t fit my image of how it should be.

    When I begin to let go of my insistence that something is wrong and realign my vision with the reality that’s now in front of me, it’s freeing.  I can focus on what’s right.  I have a well-designed kitchen that uses the space well, that’s easy to organize.  I have all the features in my kitchen that I wanted.  All while staying within my budget.

    Since what I want is emotional health, serenity and peace, this is what I’m choosing.  To accept that I don’t always get what I want, to enjoy what I have, and to notice what a beautiful countertop I have – even if it’s not the right shade.

    Avivah

  • Getting ready for Shabbos early and in a relaxed way

    OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERARemember earlier in the week I wrote about wanting to upgrade the way that I approach Shabbos?

    Something that’s important to me is being ready earlier on Friday so that I’m not busy until the last minute before candlelighting.  As anyone who faces this deadline knows, it’s a challenge since somehow what needs to be done grows to match the time you have available.

    Good intentions are nice but without starting preparations earlier in the week you’re unlikely to be able to be ready when you want to be. There’s just so much to do!  This week I sat down with my planner on Saturday night to think about what my goal for the coming week was in order to plan for success.  My goal is to light candles on time and in a relaxed way, and ideally be finished by midday Friday.  I want the hours before Shabbos to become a gentle segue into the special spirit of the day versus a sudden shift in atmosphere once the candles are lit.

    I  work quickly and often do too many things on Friday because I can.  Then there’s too much squeezed into too little time, which doesn’t make for a relaxed entrance to Shabbos.

    Here’s my general plan:

    • Make a list of what I need to buy/do by Tuesday.
    • Do the shopping by Wednesday night.
    • Do any sewing repairs by Wednesday.
    • Finish all the laundry in the house by Thursday night.  (I often have two kids who come home on Friday with laundry so I can’t avoid doing laundry on Friday but I can limit it to only their clothing.)
    • Do the bulk of cooking and baking on Thursday.
    • Don’t do anything on Friday that isn’t related to Shabbos preparations (organizing projects, errands, blog posts).

    Friday is reserved for basic cleaning (no big organizing or cleaning projects!), baths, haircuts, nail cutting, heating up the prepared food and setting up the hot plate.  All of this needs to be actively planned so that I don’t get overly relaxed, thinking everything is done and then rushing at some point in spite of all my advance preparations.

    Your goals will be different than mine and the way you go about getting ready for Shabbos on time will be different as well.  Thinking and planning ahead is what makes it work for us all!  And lighting candles on time and in a relaxed way is spiritually powerful for us all.

    I’m dedicating the merit of lighting Shabbos candles in a timely and relaxed way for the complete healing of Chaya Dina bas Sarah.  She is very ill and medical doctors have said there’s nothing else they can do for her.  I attended the births of Chaya Dina’s first two children years ago and this is my way of supporting her now.  Please join me in transforming the way you approach Shabbos!

    Avivah

  • My new Shabbos candleholders

    Jewish sages teach that the day of Shabbos (Sabbath) is a source of blessing.  I’ve been reflecting on this recently and thinking about different ways that I could value and honor this special day more, to feel and receive more of the blessing in my life.

    There are some things I’d like to change about how I approach Shabbos, and one of those things is what I use for candle lighting.  My mother-in-law generously bought me a lovely pair of candlesticks when I got married and I supplemented with tea lights as each child was born.  During an international move fifteen years ago, the candlesticks were badly damaged and couldn’t be repaired.  Since then I’ve used only tea lights in simple glass holders, and when I moved I didn’t bring the holders so for almost 4 years it’s been just tea lights.

    It’s not that I wouldn’t have wanted something nicer.  But there’s always something more pressing that needs to be purchased.   While expensive silver candlesticks aren’t my choice for a couple of reasons even though I love how they look, I’ve been thinking that getting nicer candle holders for the candles that I light for Shabbos would be more honoring of this special day.

    Yesterday morning I was walking through the industrial zone.  I had several errands there and since I wasn’t on a tight schedule, decided to look into each storefront as I passed in order to familiarize myself with the area.

    I noticed a flyer on a storefront window about a sale they were having on crystal candelabras and went inside.  It was a strange store, no lights on, a huge area with boxes and just a couple of bookshelves displaying various items.  I had to actively get the attention of the man who was in charge and he seemed reluctant to answer my question about prices.

    When I pressed him for the price, I learned he sells to stores in addition to his own six retail stores but he doesn’t sell to private individuals.  Hence the strange storefront – it’s his warehouse.  He happened to be there for just a half hour loading merchandise to take to the stores when I came in.  He told me even though this wasn’t a storefront, since I was there he was willing to sell to me at the same price he sells to stores (where the prices are then marked up 200 – 400%).

    Our new Shabbos candlesticks
    Our new Shabbos candlesticks

    I’m so happy with them.  They’re beautiful but not overdone or something that would make anyone jealous – just the balance that I wanted.  (The picture above really doesn’t do them justice – I love how the light sparkles through the prisms but you can’t see that here.)

    I had such a strong feeling that G-d had led me right into this store at just this time, because I had so much wanted to do something to honor Shabbos.  This ‘coincidence’ made it possible for me to buy lovely crystal candle holders at a price that was affordable for us; I wouldn’t have considered them at the typical retail price.

    As our sages have said, “In the way that a man wants to go, so he is led!”

    Sample fountain for illustration purposes
    Sample fountain

     Edited to add – I wrote this post in the morning and later that night went to a lecture run by Arachim.  I attended a lecture of theirs in the past and wanted to give a donation to support their work but it was given on Shabbos. This time I was able to donate and they gave each person who donated a gift – mine was a kiddush fountain!  

    Another way to beautify one of the mitzvos of Shabbos!

    Avivah

  • Upcycling our used kitchen cabinets to create more storage

    Renovating the kitchen is creating a chain reaction, as we look for ways to use what we already have to create better storage solutions in different areas!

    Here are the rooms that are being shifted around:

    1) Younger boys bedroom – even though we lost a bedroom when we moved we don’t feel the lack since their room is spacious with plenty of room for the toys.  The kitchen cabinet set that I bought included a large pantry closet, but I didn’t put it in the kitchen because I felt it would overwhelm the space and make it feels small.  Instead, we moved it to the boys’s bedroom and it’s now a great toy closet.


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    The new closet replaced the cabinet to the left that used to be our toy cabinet, which has now been moved to yet another room that is in the progress of being reorganized – our soon-to-be home office.

    Home office – many people here renovate their storage rooms to use as home offices.  Originally when we discussed this option before moving, dh said he preferred to rent office space somewhere else, but he hasn’t found somewhere to rent and doesn’t want so spend more time looking for a space and then furnishing it.  In the meantime he’s been working from the boys’ bedroom, which was obviously a short term solution.

    We’ve decided to convert our storage room to a home office and in the past few days have made big strides forward with this.  It should be operational as a separate work space tomorrow when a separate phone line will be installed.

    Ds9 wanted to use the wood from the cabinets to build a desk for dh.  

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    When he said this, I realized that rather than take the cabinet apart and rebuild something new, we could easily repurpose it.  We used this cabinet since it had drawers at the top, shortened it to be a comfortable height for sitting, took off the doors and after we get the piece of marble slab remaining from the old countertop trimmed, will use it as the desktop.  It looks much better than this now.  🙂  Voila!  A great workspace.  It even matches the storage cabinet above that sits right next to it.

    Laundry room – this is such a small area that it doesn’t really deserve to be called a laundry room.  It’s the laundry space.  But it being so small and also being a walk-through to our yard means it’s even more helpful that it’s well-organized.  

    We installed one of the bottom cabinets opposite our washing machine, two top cabinets above that, and the last top cabinet above the washer.

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    There was a final bottom cabinet that I planned to throw away, then realized if we turned it upside down, it would make a great frame for a rabbit hutch (more about the rabbits another time :)).

    As we near the end of our kitchen renovation, we have nothing left that will end up in a landfill.  Someone took the second half of the marble countertop and the final boards will be cut down to make additional shelving for one of our clothing closets.  Recycling at its best!

    Avivah

  • Kitchen renovation progress

    Our kitchen is progressing!

    We did things incrementally rather than rip everything out at once to minimize the disruption to our lives.

    First we took down the top cabinets and put up the new top cabinets.  SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

    Then was the biggest part- pulling out the rest of the kitchen, which meant pulling out the sinks.  It’s inconvenient not having a sink in the kitchen and initially this felt like a very huge disruption to my life.  Then I thought about how for generations people had to go to the river to gather water, or at the least pull it up in buckets from the well, and it put the discomfort of having to walk the extra thirty seconds to the bathroom to wash dishes in the bathtub into perspective.

    Once they were out, I told ds7 and ds9 they could take down the tiles on the lower part of the wall before we put in the new bottom cabinets.  They very assiduously agreed to that.

    Ds7 at work.
    Ds7 at work
    Lots of fun, too!
    Having lots of fun, too!

    As I did in my last two kitchen renovations, I’m using pre-loved cabinets!  The first time I did this was in 2008 – I bought a set of cabinets that had cost $20,000 ten years earlier, for just $750 – and that price also included the stainless steel sinks, exhaust hood, and washing machine.  They had been very lightly used by the 90 year old seller and his 80 year old wife, and were wonderful quality.  (More details of that here – how to cheaply renovate your kitchen.)

    The second time I did this was two years ago.  At that time, a friend who is a real estate agent and knew I wanted to buy second hand kitchen cabinets was in the middle of a disagreement between the seller and buyer of an apartment that threatened to ruin the entire deal.  The buyer insisted they wanted the kitchen taken out before they completed the sale, the sellers refused.  She gave me a call and asked if I wanted free kitchen cabinets.  Win-win-win!  Everyone was happy when I said yes.

    Round three and I’m once again doing the same thing.  But this time my  decision to install used kitchen cabinets has attracted much more attention than ever before (this is what happens when your neighbors can see onto your porch and want to know what you’re doing :)).

    Why would I buy used cabinets instead of new?  Very simply, because I like quality items that are strong and made to last, and by buying used I can get the quality I want at a price I can afford.  (The carpenter who installed the top cabinets for us told us he couldn’t understand why anyone would want to sell something of this quality and in this condition.)  If I were buying cabinets new, I’d have to spend a bundle of money to get even the most basic cabinets in the quantities that I wanted and with the heavy use of our family, it’s likely they would begin to show signs of wear soon.

    How did I find used kitchen cabinets?  I know it sounds like an obscure thing to buy used, but people advertise these for sale online when they’re renovating their kitchens.  I’ve seen kitchens ranging from never used to twenty years old, with price tags averaging from 2500 to 25,000 shekels.

    I bought a large kitchen set that included cabinets, two sinks and a large pantry.  The price included the marble countertops but I didn’t take them even though they were top quality granite and I loved the color, since I spoke with professionals who work with marble and realized it would be impossible to refabricate it to match the dimensions of our kitchen.

    When I went to take a look at this kitchen I was pleased to see the cabinets were extremely well-made (the owner purchased the home from a very wealthy family who installed the kitchen).  My hesitation initially was that in the pictures I saw, it looked like there weren’t many drawers at the bottom and I strongly prefer drawers.  Imagine my delight when the owner opened the cabinets and I saw that  every single bottom cabinet except one had pull out shelves/drawers!

    It’s definitely more work to install used cabinets.  These cabinets were much more complicated to use than any cabinets I’ve worked with before.  Very few of them were standard sized, they varied in depth and height, a number of them had features that meant they could only be use in a particular position and of course, they were customized to the measurements of someone else’s very different kitchen layout.  The trick with used cabinets is to figure out how to fit them smoothly into your kitchen and I really squeezed my head over this!  It took hours and it’s been a relief to see it all coming together.

    The other thing about buying used cabinets is that you become the general contractor.  You need to think about what needs to be done, how it should be done, in what order, and bring in people who can do what you can’t/don’t want to do. There are a lot of details involved but I enjoy this kind of thing so I don’t think of it as difficult.

    Here are some pictures of the progress.

    Right side of kitchen before
    Right side of kitchen before
    Right side of kitchen in progress
    Right side of kitchen in progress
    Left side of kitchen before
    Left side of kitchen before

     

    Left side of kitchen in progress
    Left side of kitchen in progress

    On Wednesday, measurements were taken for the countertops.   I hope they’ll be installed together with the sinks on Monday or Tuesday.

    Front view of kitchen in progress
    Front view of kitchen in progress

    I still have some cosmetic things left to do – retile the backsplash, buy laminate to cover the outer sides of the cabinets and cover the toekicks.  Once the sinks are in, I need to have some plumbing work done and hopefully it won’t be long before we have a fully functioning kitchen!

    Avivah

  • Beginning kitchen renovation – the before pictures

    I’m once again renovating my kitchen!  Yes, it’s been less than two years since I last renovated my kitchen but that was in a different home.

    I love, love, love my new apartment!  But the kitchen really needs a major face lift.  Not just for asthetics, but for functionality.  The kitchen itself is a nice size though it currently gives a small impression and the cabinet space is very inadequate for our needs.  These are the basic cabinets installed by the contractor in all the apartments when the building was built fifteen years ago.

    IMG_20150520_031944Wall number one.  The cabinets are very photogenic and look much better in pictures than in real life.  You can’t see the bottom of the doors flaking, smell the strong scent of mold when opening the cabinet under the sink, or see the toekick area that is missing the covering and as a result attracts lots of small cluttery items.  But even without all of that, this is still the entire working area of the kitchen.

    I appreciate having two sinks even if they’re small.  Fortunately the faucet pulls out or I wouldn’t have a way to wash my large pots since they don’t fit inside!  Since I haven’t unpacked my dairy dishes for lack of cabinet space, having two sinks (one for dairy dishes and one for meat dishes) hasn’t been as helpful as it could have been.

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    (End of Wall 1 where it meets Wall 2.)  Here is the corner of the last cabinet that you could see just half of in the first picture.  Doesn’t make it seem any bigger, does it?  🙂

    The space that was allotted for the stove was intended for ovens that are the standard 60 cm wide.  Mine is 90 cm wide, which is why it’s parked at this awkward angle.  To the left of the oven is my temporary solution for where to store root vegetables that don’t need refrigeration.  Next to that is the edge of two large bins of kitchen items that can’t be unpacked due to lack of space.

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    This is Wall 3.  We put a freestanding cabinet here to create some much needed storage space. It didn’t look especially good there but was extremely helpful until we sold it last week to make space to get started on renovations.

    There you have it, the before pictures of my kitchen.

    Stay tuned for more details about what we’re going to be replacing this with!

    Avivah

  • The Legacy of Rus for Today’s Woman

    MatanTorah[1]I’ll once again be speaking on Shavuos but this time in RBS!

    My talk is titled, “The Legacy of Rus (Ruth) for Today’s Woman”.

    The talk will be held on Shavuos day (Sunday, May 24), 5 pm at the home of Rikva Ester Rothstein, Nahar Hayarkon 8/1.

    If you come, please introduce yourself!

    Avivah