Category: aliyah

  • First day of school for dd10

    You might think if someone comes in the second day of school to register a child, that things would be expedited in order to facilitate the child entering the class as soon as possible, but getting school registration completed hasn’t been quick or easy around here!  Dd10 has been the quickest and easiest of everyone so far, though.

    On Sunday I took dd10 to the local school to register her.  I assumed they’d want to meet her first, and my experience so far trying to contact principals on the phone led me to believe trying to call first and hope for a call back was a waste of time.  🙂  The principal was a lovely woman who speaks some English, which was good for dd since she really doesn’t speak Hebrew at all.

    Our meeting went well.  One of the first questions was about where she studied previously, and so I told her she was homeschooled.  ” What?!” she exclaimed.  This is where I briefly explained that we had a private school in our house and I was the teacher for all the kids, for all the subjects.  Not my typical explanation but then again, trying to explain the subtleties of a very nuanced decision in Hebrew isn’t something I can do yet, and in any case, this wasn’t the time or place for it.

    I’ve repeatedly squashed questions from the many people around here who want to know about it.  I’m happy to talk about homeschooling, but not to people who have met me for the first time.  My lifestyle isn’t a curiousity or oddity for people to talk about together afterwards in the park, and without knowing who I am, a person can’t really understand what our homeschooling has been about.  To those who want to know because they really care, are looking into it, or some other positive reason more than idle curiousity I’ll usually speak more to.

    Anyway, the principal told me that usually she likes to see records and transcripts to see what the teachers say about a girl, but now she gets to speak to the girl’s teacher in person so that’s the best thing!  I was pleasantly surprised by how positive she was.   There are two sixth grade classes, and I requested a particular class where there’s another English speaker that dd10 is already friendly with (the only one in either of the two classes).  The principal told me that class was already bigger than the second class, and generally they’d put dd in the smaller class, but in light of the situation would put her in the class we requested.

    Then she told me the teacher was giving an interactive getting-to-know-you type class that morning, and asked if dd would want to sit in on it.  With some hesitation, dd agreed, after I assured her she could go home after that and wouldn’t have to stay for the day.  The principal took us into the class after showing us around the school, and then told the class that although they were the larger class, she decided to have my dd join that class – and the entire class spontaneously broke out into cheers!  Dd didn’t have any idea what was happening since she doesn’t understand any Hebrew and didn’t realize they were excited she would be their classmate, but I felt choked up at how warmly she was welcomed.

    She was seated next to her English speaking friend, while I went back to the office to complete the paperwork and buy her uniform shirts.  When the class ended, I was still there, and she excitedly asked me if she could stay for the rest of the day.  This was due in large part to the encouragement and strong request from her friend and new seatmate, who added her plea and told me that dd could walk home with her and then eat lunch at her house.

    And so despite our plan to give dd a chance to get used to the idea of school before putting her in for the entire day (since I had first told her she’d be going late Friday afternoon, and then we were there Sunday morning!), Sunday became her first day of school ever.

    Avivah

     

  • Changes, changes, changes….

    For months I’ve been deliberating (agonizing?) over the educational decisions for our kids, and what has made it so hard was I was trying to assess factors from a distance that I had no familiarity with.  My main concerns about continuing to homeschool were:

    a) Would I would have the emotional availability to give my kids what they need to make the transition successfully at this time, at the same time that there is a huge amount for me to do (lots of repeated visits to government offices, setting up a house from scratch, navigate a new city, etc) – this doesn’t include any integration into the society but even continuing our regular homeschooling and being really there for them.

    b) Could I as an American effectively integrate my children into Israeli society and culture when I’m not fully comfortable in that society myself, at the same time holding myself apart to a large degree (and though this obviously won’t be the case for most Israeli homeschoolers, just like I’ve never felt it was an issue for us when homeschooling for the last eleven years in the US – for us living where we live, coming with the older children that we have, homeschooling would create a distance between us and many in the community).

    There are times, like after a baby, that’s I’ve been one hundred percent fine with a very laid back approach to homeschooling, knowing that things would even out and we would get back on our usual schedule.  But for the past six months, I’ve been really busy with the aliyah process.  I’ve made a huge effort for this not to take away from my time with the kids, but our homeschooling has run on automatic.  Automatic is okay for a short period of time, but it’s not very fulfilling for the kids, because they don’t feel I’m very involved in their learning.

    As we start this new stage of life, I don’t feel I have the luxury of taking a few months to put homeschooling on the back burner and ease into life here.  If my kids were younger, it would be a totally different story.  The focus could be fully on the new experience of living in a new country, shopping in new places, learning new money and measurement systems, getting used to speaking and reading a new language.  But that’s not enough for older kids.  When my middles and older kids feel unproductive, they don’t have a positive feeling about homeschooling (even though I can honestly say even when we’re on automatic their learning is still decent).  Right now, I need everyone’s collective positive energy, not them feeling like Mommy’s too busy to make sure they get the education/attention that they want/need.

    On the integration front, the two biggest concerns that have weighed on my mind have been how I could help the kids learn Hebrew fluently, and how they could make friends.  There aren’t a lot of kids in my neighborhood – dd15 told me last night that of all the girls in her high school class, only three live in Karmiel (the others come from outside of the city).  I told her at least now she knows it’s not because we’re homeschooling that she isn’t meeting anyone; there just isn’t anyone to meet!  Of course social venues can be developed and nurtured, which I’ve done plenty of over the years, but that takes time and a lot of effort – and I don’t feel like time is on my side in helping the kids get started on the right foot here, and I don’t have the extra energy to put forth that effort right now.

    On Friday I was thinking about several recent interactions with some of my kids that I wasn’t happy with; they were very minor but I was pondering about where the negativity was coming from.  I was getting the feeling that they weren’t enjoying being around me – and when I reflected on that, I realized that as much as I know how hard I’m trying to be patient and loving – they aren’t adults.  They aren’t thinking what a good job their mother is doing in handling the pressures and stresses.  Adults would be likely to at least partially understand the enormity of what I’m doing and might even be impressed with how positive and calm we’re being about it all.

    But my kids aren’t outsiders who can be impressed from a distance.  They live with me close up, and are feeling their mother is more edgy than usual – and they’re right.  It’s not that I’m much different than usual, but my ratio of interactions  with them has shifted; I’m moving faster and being more directive of them without the usual input of mommy time to balance that out.

    Usually my perspective on things like this is to look at my part, how I can improve, be more loving, patient, , etc. But on Friday, I had a moment of clarity in which I honestly said to myself, I simply can’t do more than I’m doing.  I think I’m doing really well. Really.  I’m not screeching and screaming, I’m not getting upset and angry.  But I feel the pressure of all that I’m trying to do and knowing all that is waiting to be done, and feeling like I’m not going to be able to to it the way it needs to be done.  It’s the mental pressure that I constantly feel pounding at me, more than the physical stuff that most people complain about during the aliyah process – and believe me, we’ve had plenty of potential irritants and stressors!

    Right now, I have to ask myself, how can I be the mother my kids deserve?  Not how can I homeschool, help them learn Hebrew, be fully present for everyone at their own level emotionally, academically, and socially, my usual questions – but just how can I be the mother they need right now?  Because what they need me to be more than anything is just their mother.  And that’s something I can do, and I can do well.  But I can’t do all those other things well at this time, and trying to do them will compromise my primary goal.

    So….

    Our homeschooling plans are changing – again.  I enrolled dd10 in the local school yesterday.  Ds5 will be starting gan chova (kindergarten) tomorrow moring.  Ds12 has an interview with the principal of the school tomorrow morning, and I assume he’ll begin the day after that, on Weds.  Ds9, ds4 (today was his birthday!), and ds2 will continue to be at home (at least that’s today’s decision, lol!).

    As far as how I made the decisions I did regarding this, dh and I thought a lot about each child and his/her personality and learning style, the teacher they would have, English speaking classmates, and what would help them best adjust to living in Israel.  For some kids this was going to school, for others it was learning at home.  As far as how I’m feeling about this… I have very, very mixed emotions.  To be detailed another time. 🙂

    Avivah

  • Got lots of food shopping done and some nice people

    There are so many times throughout the day that I want to share things with you all here – my gratitude for being here, a description of Karmiel and interaction with people here, what our apartment is like and where it’s located, how the kids are making friends, the price of food and local shopping, getting furniture, and so much more, but unfortunately I have time limitations!  Eventually I’ll hopefully get to it all.  🙂

    But I’ll share something about my day today – not something unique or unusual, just part of a regular day in Israel.

    In the morning I took ds3 with me to the high school to pay for the girls high school tuition (it was nice because he got to see them since they happened to be on a break, and dd15 walked him through the school), then headed home before going out to get fruits and veggies.  Then headed home again for a short time before going out to another store for more groceries, which took a long time due to some shopping confusion and a receipt that needed to be straightened out (got store credit in the end- remember, pay attention to your receipts to be sure you’re being charged correctly!), as well as meeting someone there (who invited us for Shabbos lunch) and shmoozing for a long time.

    When I finally headed out to the bus stop to the next store, it was almost 8 pm and I wasn’t sure how frequently the buses were running. So I asked the man on the bench next to me if he knew when the next bus was expected.  He told me a few buses passed there and it should be just a few minutes, then asked me if I was new in Karmiel.  I told him we moved here exactly two weeks ago from the US, and he asked me where I was from.  Rather than answer, I asked him why he was asking, if he knew anyone there.  He said he had lived in NY for six years, and when I commented that his English must be pretty good, he said his vocabulary is mostly real estate related (we were speaking in Hebrew).

    I asked him why he came back, and he explained to me that he went there to join his older brother, who started the business which was very successful; then the brother became religious, got married and moved back to Israel so he stayed on by himself.  I was curious what made him come back if it was a thriving business, so he told me it was a long and sad story, but basically he got involved with drugs and lost everything.

    I asked him how he got clean, and he told me he went to a rehab.  He asked me if I ever heard of NA (Narcotics Anonymous), that it was supposed to be good but never tried it.  I told him it’s an incredible program that changes peoples’ lives; life can be hard and a person who physically detoxes but doesn’t learn to think about life differently will be very likely to go back to using.  I explained the focus is on a Higher Power, not from a religious perspective but a spiritual perspective; that a person needs to turn to help from that Power rather than depending on himself.

    Then he asked if we were olim (new immigrants) and if the government bought us an apartment!  I told him the government doesn’t buy olim new apartments, though last week I met an Arab family from Lebanon when I was looking at the bunk bed they were selling (I was surprised when they opened the door since I thought I was going to the home of a Jewish family, but they welcomed me in and dh and I sat in their living room watching the news in Arabic while we waited) who told me they were selling the apartment they were living in – and they got it totally free from the Israeli government.  The father’s Hebrew wasn’t very fluent and though I tried to clarify why he got a free apartment (and car), it was something about the Lebanese terrorist organization Hizbollah blowing up his home and taking his truck and car because he worked in Israel; this terrorist group keeps lists of people who work in Israel and then their lives are in danger.  I wasn’t clear on the dateline, since he told me something about 1982, something about 2000, and that he had to keep it for three years without selling it, and it’s now been three years, so that was kind of confusing, but as I said, there was a bit of a language barrier since I don’t speak Arabic (just a very few words that I learned years ago when I was a doula for some Arab women in the Israeli hospital where I trained, but ‘girl’, ‘boy’, and ‘push’ don’t do much in regular conversation :)).  He told me he’s going to use the money to buy a bigger house.  If he goes to a local Arab village to live, he can buy himself a very, very nice home with the proceeds of a local apartment!

    Then the bus came so this man and I ended our conversation, and I went to another store to get more vegetables!  I knew our family ate a huge quantity of food, but until I moved here, I really didn’t realize how much.  When you have a car, you don’t think about the quantities as much since you just plop it in the car, but when you’re taking it home on the bus, there’s a much higher level of awareness!  For the first week and a half, we were literally going to the store once or twice a day, and the fridge and cupboard was usually empty.  I’m really not used to that at all.  I have been doing a LOT of shlepping and a few times detailed all that was involved to my family so they could appreciate my heroic efforts to keep them all fed!

    Bit by bit I’ll get stocked up and not feel like we’re living on the edge of starvation 🙂 (just joking, in case that’s not obvious!); this week is already much better than last week.  I had already gotten so much shopping done today I thought I’d just get a small amount of a few things at this other store to top everything off, but a small amount for us is six large heavy grocery bags and having taken this amount of groceries home on the bus several times, I knew what was involved and wasn’t thrilled about doing it all again!

    While I was waiting for the bus, a woman stopped at the bus stop and offered me a ride.  She said she had just finished shopping at the same store I had been at, her car’s empty and it’s a shame not to share it with someone if we’re going in the same direction!  I often tell the kids (and myself) that my needs are always met, and this is one more example of that – it wasn’t even a need, really, more like a want that was filled.

    We had a nice talk during our ride; she’s been living here twenty years and shared with me some of the ways Karmiel has changed during that time.  Since her oldest is the same age as mine, we ended up discussing maternal concerns of a son going into the army, particularly because he wants to be in a combat unit (which my son has adamantly told me he really doesn’t want to do – not the army, but the combat unit).  She said my ds might not have a choice about what part of the army he serves in, but he still has some time until we have to deal with that, so we’ll see what ends up happening at that point.   She insisted on dropping me off in front of my apartment building, though I told her it was fine to drop me at the corner of a main street close by and I could walk from there.

    I appreciate all the opportunities I have in Karmiel to interact with people as people, despite living in a country where religious differences often loom very large.  Though it was a physically draining day, it was filled with interesting interactions from start to finish (I left out the group of Arab teenagers that I chastised for pushing an old man aside to get onto a bus)!

    Oh, and one more thing – later in the evening there was a knock at the door, and I opened it to find two children of a neighbor there with three grocery bags at their feet.  They said someone had passed on groceries to their family, but they had so much that their mother thought that we could use it – wasn’t that thoughtful?  She was right, we will definitely be able to put them to use!  I really appreciate how it’s easier to help people here and to receive help from others.  In the US, there’s more of an emphasis on being independent; here in Israel, there’s not a fear that if you help someone in whatever way that you’re giving them the impression that they are needy, or that if you accept help you’re incapable of providing for yourself.

    Avivah

  • First day of high school

    Today our family began a new stage in life – with the entrance of dd15 and dd16 to the local girls’ high school, our three oldest children are out of the house and this will be a big shift for us to get used to.

    Registering the girls has been pretty quick – I called the principal on Sunday, told her we had two girls interested in going to the high school, and she told me no one does the registration now.  I explained to her that we had moved from the US just a week and a half before, and that I had tried to reach her several times in June to take care of this as much as possible in advance but never was called back (she told me she doesn’t pick up the messages on her voicemail).

    Anyway, she told me to send the girls to the orientation being held the next afternoon for all the girls in the high school.  I told her that the girls really weren’t comfortable with that before knowing if they were accepted or not, but she said they should come and she might have a few minutes to speak to them while they were there.  So off they went, and came back four hours later.

    What in the world can take so long?  There was a speech by the rabbi of the city, followed by a low grade film for three hours.  The girls said the quality was so poor that it was painful to watch, but the topper was that as everyone exited, they were told they had to pay 40 shekels for the privilege of watching it!  At least our girls didn’t have to pay since they weren’t yet accepted.  🙂  Then they bought their uniforms, which weren’t as bad as they expected; I think they look rather nice, although it’s not the personalized look that each of them usually have.

    I waited for the principal’s call the next day, since we had agreed she would call me to set up an official interview for the girls, but late in the afternoon, I called her since it was getting late.  She told me she was waiting for me to call!  So we arranged for us all to come in the next morning, just a day before school began, for the girls to be tested.

    The principal told me several times that the girls, as English speakers and as homeschoolers (who clearly couldn’t have learned anything in all of their years at home), would be put a grade lower than where they belonged.  I told her during our initial phone call that I didn’t agree, and the during our face to face meeting reiterated this at more length with her.  I basically told her that I wouldn’t agree to placing them below their age level, and she told me it’s not my choice to make – the committee has to meet to discuss what to do with them.  I realized that while this is true, it’s also true that there’s an image to uphold of them running the show and I wasn’t interested in turning it into a power struggle, so I left it with her that she’d call to let me know about their placement (remember that this is a day before school starts!).

    After I spoke with the principal, I spoke at length with the yoetzet/high school advisor, who was lovely and we enjoyed our talk very much.  She told me if there’s ever anything she can help us with, to let her know, and I felt she really meant it.  Then I went on to take care of the official registration, and after filling out all the forms, told the secretary I wasn’t going to pay yet.  I explained that it would be a waste of her time and mine if I was notified they were placed not according to what I felt their best interests were, and then I had to come back and get a refund, and that I’d pay once I got confirmation on their proper placement.

    I finally left the school without the girls – they found most of the tests very easy, but the math is taught here very differently, and even though they’re both good math students, didn’t understand many of the questions.  I was told that their placement would hinge in large part on their math scores, which wasn’t very reassuring, but I told them not to worry about it.

    Apparently the committee met and despite the poor showing in math – which I had told the administration I was concerned about before they even finished their testing – they were approved to go into their proper grades.  I found this out at 8 pm that night, and they were supposed to be in school at 8:15 the next morning!  I was told today by a new friend in the community that her husband was called to find out what is this homeschooling business, and is it legitimate – it’s much less common here than in the US.  There’s an advantage and disadvantage to that; the advantage is that all that people know about it is what they know about you, and if they think your family is okay, then they’ll tend to think of homeschooling in a better light.

    Dd16 and dd15 right before leaving for their first day of high school

    I’ve been asked a number of times about why we’re sending the girls to high school at this point.  I’ll start with dd15, who has been planning this from the time we decided to move.  She’s been homeschooled since she was four, and felt very ready for the challenge of integrating into the school system.  She wants to make friends locally and learn the language very well, and felt this would be the best way to do that.

    After the orientation, I asked dd15 if she was really ready for this, because I thought the way it was run was a good indication of what she can expect from the coming year.  She told me that she knows some of it will be annoying, but she’s clear about why she wants to be there, and feels this is the price she’s willing to pay.

    As far as dd16, her last year of school totally turned her off the concept of school.  So when I suggested to her several months ago that attending school here might be the best option – basically as a way to socially integrate into the community while being immersed in a Hebrew speaking environment – she adamantly refused. We looked and looked into different options, but nothing seemed right – her age and lack of Hebrew fluency were issues for all the possibilities we were considering.  The best option was to send her to ulpan, a Hebrew language program, five hours a day, five days a week, for five months – to get her Hebrew up to the level that she can be successful at a college level.

    Dd16 told me on Sunday that she wants to go to school.  Why?  To make friends and learn the language.  Of course, this is why I told her it would be good, so I wasn’t opposed to the idea. 😛 She’s realized from being here in Karmiel through the summer that there’s no teenage social life, no way to meet people unless you’re in school.  She and dd15 have already gotten friendly with the only other three English speaking high school age girls from their school, and they felt they’d be limited to that without attending school – really, I’ve hardly seen any teenage girls around at all and I think they’re right. Today when the girls came back from school, they told me many of the girls in the school – which is small to start with, under 100 girls – don’t even live here!

    Something I really appreciate is that the school day is so much shorter here than in the US, so the girls will be home by about 2 pm every day, which leaves time for other things than school.  The first day went well, though there’s the awkward feeling of not being able to talk to the people around you, and it will take time until they get comfortable in that regard.  But all in all, the school seems nice, the administration was pleasant to deal with – I felt they were all in all respectful of me even though they’ve never come across anyone whose homeschooled their children – and I’m looking forward to an overall positive year for the girls.

    Avivah

  • Delays in getting health insurance

    After a week and a half, we finally got our internet and phone yesterday, and it’s amazing to be able to freely connect to the outside world again!

    I have loads of things I want to tell you about, but I’m never going to get to what’s going on now if I try to catch you up on the last week!  As far as the technicalities, I’ve spent every morning at different government offices – the Ministry of the Interior, the Ministry of Absorbtion, the municipality, the office of National Insurance – and though everything has taken time, I haven’t felt aggravated by the bureaucracy of all of this until today.

    As returning citizens, we have to pay a fee of almost 10,000 shekels per person over the age of 18 in order to restart our insurance.  Thanks to a recently passed law that is of two year duration – and our move to Israel falls out in this period of time – this money is fully refunded, half immediately and the other half in a year.  Once this money is paid, we can then sign up for a health fund.

    You wouldn’t think it would be so hard to pay this money, but we’ve been to that office three times and still no luck!  Today I was initially told that we have to establish our residency before they’ll take our money (afterward I was told they’d take our money – as if they were doing us a favor – but it still wouldn’t help us get insurance).  I told her that we’ve repeatedly established our residency with the Israeli embassy, whatever Israeli ministry handled the approval for our tickets as returning citizens, the Ministry of Absorbtion and the Ministry of the Interior here in Israel – so since we have documentation of all that, isn’t it enough?  No.  We need to redocument everything for this particular office, but this time they’re insisting on proof of enrollment of the kids in school before we can establish our residency.

    This isn’t so simple since none of the kids ages 12 and under are going to school.  (Earlier I wrote I would be putting some of the kids in school, but back in May we decided otherwise; I’ve  been wanting to share with you about how I came to that decision but haven’t had time.)  I still have to file for an approval from the Israeli government to homeschool, but this hasn’t been on the top of my list; I’m trying to get the most basic things taken care of.

    Tomorrow I’m going to the local girls high school to sign up dd15 and dd16, and I’m already feeling under the gun about homeschooling because the principal is insisting on putting the girls back a grade because they’ve never been in school before.  If I had been mentally prepared for her asking for transcripts and records, I would have handled it differently and sidestepped this issue without mentioning homeschooling, but what’s done is done.  Tomorrow the girls will be tested and I’ll discuss their grade placement with the principal in person (so far we’ve only talked on the phone) because holding them back isn’t my idea of what would be beneficial to them, and I’ll refuse to enroll them if it comes to that.

    Anyway, I’ll take their school registration back to the National Insurance office along with our house contract, bank records, and whatever else they’ve asked for, and hopefully that will be enough to show that we actually are planning to live here and didn’t come to scam the Israeli health insurance system. 🙂

    Avivah

  • Transferring utility accounts

    Sunday is a work day here in Israel, so that morning I was prepared to get a lot done.  Dh and I went to the municipality with dd16 and ds18 (we thought afterward we’d be going to the Ministry of the Interior and they’d need to get their ID cards), but after I took a number, I told the kids to go home rather than spend their time waiting around.  After a while, our real estate agent met us there, and about the time our number was called, the seller’s real estate agent met us as well.

    We explained that we were there to transfer the water bill into our name, and after doing some checking on the computer, the clerk told us that the seller or someone he gave power of attorney needed to be there in order to complete this.  I thought this meant we’d need to come back another day, since the seller couldn’t come and the attorney who had his power of attorney was in Russia.  But I didn’t take into account having an Israeli real estate agent there, who cajoled, demanded, cajoled, insisted, produced unhelpful paperwork to prove his point, insisted it was helpful paperwork….and after a very, very long time there, we got the account transferred from the tenant’s name into the seller’s name.   But not transferred to our name.

    At the end of all of this, I asked the clerk if I had even needed to be there for all of this, and she said, no, but I’d need to come back again to get my part taken care of!  I raised my eyebrows at her and smilingly told her that I had a lot of things I could have been taking care of, and this secular, immodestly dressed young woman told me, “Think of it as a chesed (act of kindness) that you did for the tenants.”  I love that.

    We finally left to the office, and it was hard not to notice the grumbling of the people who had been sitting there waiting for us to finish our business, but from there dh went home, and I went with the real estate agents to transfer the next account.  Our agent dropped me off together with the seller’s agent, and we walked together to the gas company.  When we got there, the meter reading we had from the tenant didn’t match any numbers on the account, so the agent called the tenant, told her to check the meter again and call him back.

    In the meantime, he told me we could go to the electric company to get that bill transferred.  So we walked over there – fortunately, the electric company was only about a block from the gas company, and got things transferred there.  That was almost relatively smooth, except the person who was processing this had a problem with her computer, so we had to start all over with someone else in another office.  But it got done.

    Then we headed back to the gas company, where he gave the corrected meter reading, and I was told I’d have to pay the seller 250 shekels as a deposit (apparently he put it down when he opened the account, so now he needed it back) as well as an additional transfer fee.  After I paid for this, we completed the paperwork.  Off the agent went, and I decided since I was in the area, to stop in at the phone company and find out about their pricing.

    After waiting at yet another office, I spoke to a very pleasant woman and was somewhat disappointed to learn there are no plans that have unlimited calling.  I made a list of all the choices, none of which really appealed to me, to take back home to discuss with dh.   I asked how long it would take to get a line and internet hookup, and was surprised to hear it would take over a week.  So I mentally resolved to check out another provider.  Then, because I was still in the area :), I thought I’d do a bit of shopping at the store nearby that has kosher chickens.

    I didn’t have ten shekels on me to get a shopping cart, but had taken a recyclable cloth bag with me, so I loaded it up with the sale items and headed to the checkout.  When the clerk told me the total, I told her that none of the sale prices had registered.  She was surprised and initially told me it couldn’t be, but then she checked the receipt and realized I was right.  She said it was because I only bought sale items, and I couldn’t get the same prices without buying at least 50 shekels of non sale items.  And since some of what I bought didn’t count as sale items, I just had to spend another 22 shekels, and she casually flicked her hand at a bag of overpriced chocolates and suggested I grab them.  Um, no.  That’s not how I shop.

    Off I went to find something else to buy, but I was quite tired by now – it was mid afternoon and I hadn’t eaten lunch or had anything to drink for hours, and had been walking back and forth in the sun from office to office.  (I didn’t know how long I was going to be out or I would have been more prepared – the initial plan was that one agent was going to drive us from office to office.)  All I could find was salt, which didn’t help to raise my total since it was under two shekels, so I told her to cancel my order and I’d just get a couple of things.  As she did this, I saw that the sale turkey I bought wasn’t registering as a sale price, and I asked if I could get more turkey towards the 22 shekels.  Sure, she said.

    Don’t ask me the logic of some sale prices counting and some not counting, I still don’t know how to figure this in to my shopping.  So I got some turkey, came back, rang it up, added in the sale items (packages of split peas, wheat, and barley), and got ready to pay.  But now the sale prices were only coming off of some of the sale items, not all of them.  ‘Why?’, I inquire?  Hmm, she’s not sure herself what’s going on.  Then she tells me it’s because after all of that, I’m only allowed to buy 6 of the sale items.

    I was really tired by this point, and thought to myself this was way too many hoops to jump through to save 15 shekels (which is less than five dollars).  I only bought the fifty shekels worth of items because because I thought I could stock up at the sale price on the other items and it would be worth it! Lesson learned: pay close attention to the fine print on the sales flyer.  I paid the bill, then headed home on the bus with my extremely heavy bags of stuff.  When I finally arrived home, I was too tired to eat or even drink a cup of water.  Instead, I conked out on my sleeping bag for a couple of hours. 🙂

    Errands take a lot more energy and time here – but doing them is part of the experience of being here!

    Avivah

  • Our first day and Shabbos in Israel

    On my first morning here, Friday, I got up early with the early risers and took four kids out for a walk at 5:50 am – I didn’t want to disturb the neighbor below us with their early wake up.  As we walked down the street, ds3 was excited to discover that just a couple buildings away from us is a park!  So ds9 and I sat on the bench and chatted while the littles played.  Ds12 had his rollerblades on, and when we got to the park he asked if he could explore on his own, which I agreed to. He ended up having his own adventure meeting an Israeli policeman, which he told us about later at breakfast.

    After breakfast, I walked to the municipality (which is fortunately a very short walk from our new home), so that I could get there by 8:30 when they opened, to be first in line.  (Remember, I was told to take care of switching the accounts for the water, etc that morning since the offices were closed the afternoon before.)  I waited and waited, until finally I realized they weren’t going to open.  Why?  Because it’s Friday, and government offices don’t open on Friday!

    I headed back home, stopping in at the one kosher bakery in town on the way back and picked up some challahs for Shabbos.   (I felt very accomplished finding out which bakery was the one to go to – the little things matter a lot when you don’t know where anything is!)  We were invited to a bris that morning, and I debated about going or not – on one hand, I wanted to be there to share in the celebration of the family.  On the other hand, all the stores here close by 2 pm on Fridays, and there would be very little time after getting home from the bris to buy the food we needed.  There aren’t any kosher take-out places here in Karmiel, and we didn’t even know where we could buy groceries, let alone how to get there.  (In a religious neighborhood, you can buy food just about anywhere, but there are challenges here not found in religious neighborhoods.)  So I really needed every bit of time I had to figure things out.

    But we opted to attend the bris and have a very, very simple Shabbos, so we got the kids dressed and ready to go.  On our way out of our building, I saw a neighbor, so I smiled and introduced myself.  She curtly said, “Nice to meet you”, and since she didn’t introduce herself, I asked her for her name.  She abruptly told me, then with a sour face said, “I know you just moved but you made a terrible amount of noise last night.  I hope it’s not always going to be like this.”  I told her I was sorry if we disturbed her (wondering what made so much noise, since the kids went to sleep at a reasonable hour and only one of the older girls and I were up), and explained we had just come from the US a half a day before, and it would take some time for the jet lag to pass but we would try to be aware of noise.

    She then burst out, “What a shame you moved here, you should have gone somewhere else where there are religious people!  You know, this isn’t a religious neighborhood.  It’s going to bother you and you’ll be unhappy here.”  I was slightly taken aback, but I told her, “Good people are good people, why should it make a difference if they’re religious or not?”  So she told me the music and lifestyle of people here is going to bother me, it will annoy me to see people not observing Shabbos and the holidays, and that living here isn’t like where I came from, where I lived with only religious people (this was kind of funny since she doesn’t know me and it’s not true at all).  I told her that I have enough trouble trying to take care of what I need to deal with in my own life to spend time judging how everyone else spends their time, but she didn’t seem mollified as she skeptically said, “I hope it will be okay” and walked off.   She did compliment me on how good my Hebrew was at the end of her tirade.  🙂   I suppose it could have been a warmer welcome to the building, but it’s good to know people’s concerns.

    Off we went to the bris, where we saw the parents of the new baby whom I last saw a year ago in Baltimore before they made aliyah, and then had the added pleasure of getting to meet people living here, which was great!  We enjoyed our first afternoon and evening here, but there was a feeling of no one knowing we existed, and meeting these people that morning changed that.  Everyone there was very nice and welcoming, and it felt like our family fit in just as if we had been here a long time. I met was an Israeli neighbor who lives two buildings away, and when she heard that we didn’t have furniture, etc, she invited us for a Shabbos meal.  Since she had just had a baby three weeks ago, I refused, though I was tempted to accept since the logistics of trying to organize everything for Shabbos in the short time we had was somewhat daunting!  I told her we’d take a reincheck in a few months, though.  🙂

    Dd16 was really surprised that no one was inviting us for meals or offering any kind of concrete help – she’s been here all summer and told me that everyone in the community knew we were coming.  It would have been nice if more assistance had been offered, but people have their own lives to live and sometimes it leaves one unavailable to help others – I’ve certainly been in that situation before!  I think it just happened to be a particularly inconvenient week for everyone.

    We finally headed home, and our real estate agent called to see how things were going; since she saw our home, she knew in a very visceral way exactly what our reality was, and apologized for the ‘harsh’ welcome we had to Karmiel.  I told her that our family goes camping every year for a vacation, so we were just treating it like that, and I really didn’t feel it was harsh at all – we were so glad to be here and felt very, very lucky to have a home to be in, albeit without furnishings!

    While I was speaking with her, dh was out with dd15 shopping for the groceries for Shabbos, when he got a call inviting us for Shabbos lunch!  This was so nice, and he gladly accepted – it simplified our preparations since we were without a fridge, and didn’t have to worry about how to prepare/store food for our lunch meal.  And sharing a meal is a great way to get to know people!

    Getting ready for Shabbos was a bit of a rush as we tried to get everything organized and put away, find clothes for everyone, etc.  Dh couldn’t find any kosher chicken so he bought fish (he was later told that in the store he was in, there are no reputable certifications on chicken), and since we didn’t have a usable oven, dd16 cooked everything on the stovetop (which we were so grateful to have!).

    We loved that even here in a mostly secular city, Shabbos music played over the city loudspeakers 40 minutes before candlelighting time to herald the imminent arrival of Shabbos.   Tea lights were sent over by the same Israeli neighbor who gave us water when we arrived and cleared a shelf in her fridge for us, along with a white tablecloth for Shabbos, a folding table, and 11 plastic chairs! – and what is especially unique to Israel is that this neighbor who sent us these things for Shabbos isn’t visibly religious in any way (she calls herself someone who ‘observes the traditions’).   None of this was requested by us; she took the initiative to send over things that she thought would be helpful to us, and they really were!  And the neighbor who had just had a baby sent over a plate of delicious homemade cookies, which we enjoyed for dessert that evening.  Aren’t people just amazing?

    The next day we enjoyed lunch with our hosts, and I was pleasantly surprised to see a young couple sharing the meal with us – we know the husband from Baltimore, having first met him when he was about 18 years old.  I enjoyed meeting his wife, who is a lovely person, and then later in the meal got to chat with our hostess, who was a very warm and friendly person (after the meal she mentioned that she’s read my blog!).

    We enjoyed our time there very much, and when it was time to leave,  dh and ds18 went back with the littles to rest while I stayed longer and chatted with our hostess.  Dd10 stayed there and played with her new friend, at some point taking them back to our house, a new aquaintance of dd15 had come during the meal and they left together, and dd16 took ds12 and ds9 to meet some boys their age in another neighborhood9who ended up not being home, but it was very generous of dd16 to take them, since she was really tired).

    On my way home, I passed dd15 and her friend chatting on some benches, met dd10 crossing the main street on her way back to our hosts – it was so nice to see how quickly the kids were making friends!  The afternoon passed quickly, and before we knew it, it was over!

    It’s funny that we could feel like we were just where we belonged after being here such a short time, but we do.  It’s nice to be here, but more than feeling exciting, it just feels right.

    Avivah

  • Arriving in Karmiel

    After driving for less than two hours, we arrived in Karmiel.   As we drove though, we noticed how beautiful the area is, and then we got to our apartment and unloaded our boxes in front of the building.  We called the real estate agent to tell her we were there so she could bring us the key, and waited outside for her until we could go in.   Since it was the middle of a summer day and we’d hardly had anything to drink since we’d left the airplane about five hours before, we were parched, and when a woman from across the street came to welcome us and asked us if we wanted a drink, I was very grateful to accept.

    We went into her home and she treated us like special guests, giving us water and bringing chairs and a table to her yard for everyone to relax.  But I told her I really couldn’t relax right then, since I had to get into our apartment and start unpacking.  She insisted on sending us home with two large cold bottles of mineral water, and told us if we needed anything to please let her know.

    I got back outside a few minutes after the real estate agent arrived, who told me I needed to go with her immediately to the municipality and the gas and electric company, to transfer all of the accounts from the name of the renters to us.  The tenants didn’t want to give her the key to let us in until this was done, but they agreed to give it to her if we’d do it that day.   I told her I would go but wanted to at least run in and see what the apartment was like first!  So I quickly ran in (my first impression was that it looked small and dinky), and then off I went with her.

    As we were driving, she realized we needed to get the contract from the office in order to do this, so we went to her office, and by the time we finished there, it was too late to go to any of the offices.  So she asked me to take care of it first thing the  next morning (Friday).  Honestly, I had a list of things that were critical for me to take care of right away so we’d be minimally prepared for Shabbos, which was by that point about 28 hours away, and this wasn’t on it, but you do what you need to do!

    I went back home and then saw the furniture the tenants had left behind, in exchange for the money they were supposed to give us for paint.  What it looked like to me was that it was too difficult for them to get the things down from the upstairs bedrooms down the spiral staircase (which they had partially dissembled in order to get things out, so it was very shaky and scary to go up), so they saved themselves the bother and cost of moving those things and told us they were doing us a favor.  There were a couple of things they left that were useful – a clothing closet (in Israel there are no built in closets, so you have to buy and assemble freestanding units) and an oven, and I told her we’d accept that in trade for the outstanding money because I didn’t really feel like dealing with them, but to get the rest of the stuff out, which became a bit of a drawn out process and everything still isn’t out.

    We turned on the water in the kitchen sink, only to learn that the tenants had taken the faucet they’d put in when they arrived, and left the old faucet there, unattached and with no piping to attach it to the water supply line!  We tried the water in the bathroom, but there was no water there, either.  So off we went to the neighbor across the street to refill the water bottles she had given us, which were empty by then, but she insisted on giving us new bottles of more water.  When she heard that we didn’t have any furniture or appliances except the stove the tenants left behind, she told us she was clearning a shelf in her fridge exclusively for our use, and gave dh a key so we could freely come and go as we needed!  (She also told us she had a guest room with a couple of beds and invited the girls to sleep there.)

    Back at the apartment, dh discovered that the tenants had turned the water off when they left the day before.  Though our neighbor was very generous in helping us, I was so grateful when dh turned it on and we were able to have water – not having water would have been very challenging, even with her help.

    While all of this was going on, most of the kids had crashed and slept for hours, despite my urging the older boys not to do that because it would make their jet lag much worse.  Oh, well.    After a simple dinner of the food left from what our friends had brought to the airport for us, in the early evening we took a walk.  We thought the kids would enjoy a beautiful local park, where Karmiel residents are allowed free entrance but everyone else has to pay.  We explained we had just moved there a few hours before from America, but were denied entrance since we didn’t yet had identity cards with out current address, so we continued to another small playground right across the street, which was fine.

    While there I spoke to another mother who was there for a couple of minutes, who was visiting from Jerusalem.  She left a couple minutes later, but her son ran back to tell us that a few minutes away was a very nice park, so we headed in that direction and met them there again.  Her husband brought over a prickly pear fruit that he had picked right there at the park and gave some to my kids, warning them about the prickles.  Poor ds3 didn’t hear the warning, so he ran over to pick one for himself and ended up with prickles in his hand.  And since he had taken his sandals off when he got there, he managed to step on something pokey and so we made a quick exit to go home and help him.  But while we were leaving, this family from Jerusalem gave us their phone number and warmly invited us to stay with them anytime we wanted to come visit.  (Unfortunately, I put this scrap of paper on the table and it disappeared before I had a chance to copy the number into my planner.)

    We went home, and after putting the kids to sleep (we brought sleeping bags and blankets, so we spread these on the floor), dd15, dd16 and I did a lot of unpacking (other people helped also, but the three of us did most of it since everyone else was sleeping) – my goal had been totally unpack before I went to sleep.  I didn’t quite manage this, but we did get most of it out of the way – all that was left was the boxes belonging to ds18 and ds12, which I waited for them to take care of the next day.

    Avivah

  • Arriving in Israel

    We landed in Israel after less than ten hours of flying time on a gorgeous sunny, clear day, with lots of applause upon landing.  We were the last ones to leave the plane – I wanted to get our carryon luggage off without bumping into people – but the plane emptied quickly so this took just a few minutes.  From there, we went through passport control, where I checked all of us except ds18 in.  As a returning minor, his status is different than the rest of us, and I felt it would be best if he started handling his own legal paperwork.  I didn’t expect it to be any different than the rest of us, just a quick stamp on the passport after verifying that he is who he is – but it wasn’t so simple.

    I went through with all of the kids to the luggage section after waiting a few minutes for ds18, leaving dh behind to assist him if necessary, though not right next to him.  Since ds8 doesn’t speak Hebrew, I told him that I’d be with him when he needed to take care of the official paperwork necessary for him to receive his voucher for a taxi home.  Afterwards he told me that an official came out and started asking him for things he didn’t have or know anything about (yes, it would have been good if he would have asked dh!), and after being kept to the side for a long time and yelled at, he finally got his passport stamped and went through to the rest of us – without getting his voucher.  He was really bothered and especially with only two hours of sleep in less than 24 hours, it was an unpleasant welcome to Israel for him.  When the next person yelled at him for almost (but realizing it was the wrong one before he did) walking through the gate right next to the one he was supposed to go through, he really had had enough.

    It took us a while to get our luggage loaded up, though it was all off the conveyor belt by the time we got the baggage pick-up.  We needed a large cart and those were only available to rent, 80 shekel each.  The price includes a porter, but I told him we didn’t need the porter, just the cart – but he said we had to have the porter and there wasn’t anyone available so we had to wait until they could find someone.  Then we realized we needed the huge trolley (160 shekels) and the regular large one, and between that and the regular small ones that everyone uses, we managed to load up all of our luggage and exit the airport.

    As we exited into the waiting area, we immediately saw dd16 and all hugged her before we moved out of the way.  Then we saw familiar faces from Baltimore waiting to greet us, a couple who made aliyah a couple of years ago.  This was so nice!  Not only did they come with welcoming smiles and hugs, but they brought food for lunch (which ended up being enough for lunch and dinner), water, and two bottles of homemade wine!  And not only that, they arranged the vans to take us home, which was really helpful since we were so many people and so much stuff, and it was great to know this was taken care while we were still in the US.

    Are you wondering where the home they took us to was?  🙂  On the way to the airport in Newark, we called our mortgage broker in Israel to find out what was happening wth out paperwork.  He told us that all of the paperwork wouldn’t be complete for another week or so, but that the main paperwork would be completed that day, and the owner agreed to let us go in, having most of the money and knowing the rest would soon be paid to him.  The owner went out on a limb for us to do this and though we didn’t expect it of him, we were deeply appreciative that we could go directly to our new home in Karmiel.

    Avivah

  • Leaving the US

    I am so excited that I can finally post here – we don’t yet have a phone or internet connection, but for the first time since we got here, dd16 found one place where she can hook into a wireless connection.

    I’ll start at the beginning and post more as this connection allows. 🙂

    Wednesday morning was beautiful, and it really felt right to be leaving then – it was busy but not hectic.  At 5:50 am the best friends of ds9 and dd10 knocked on the door, and I sent them upstairs to wake up the kids they came to say goodbye to.  A little later a good friend of dd15 came and she and her mother, a good friend of mine, helped sweep the floors and take out all the luggage.  Ds12’s  best friend was there as well.  The driver we hired got there a bit late, but it gave us more time to get things wrapped up so we didn’t mind.  🙂

    I was concerned that all of our thirty boxes wouldn’t fit into his trailer, but everything fit in exactly.  We pulled away with our friends waving goodbye, and this was the most emotional part for my kids; they really felt  strongly the feeling of leaving behind our home and their closest friends as we pulled away.  For me, the three extra days after having to postpone our trip gave me a chance to spend with friends, and I had a good sense of closure and connection.  The night before we left, a neighbor had us for dinner and invited other neighbors to come by for dessert to say goodbye, which was nice.  For years one very close friend and I have theorized about how nice it would be to meet for coffee and just chat without kids around, and the day before we left, she treated me to breakfast at a local cafe and that’s exactly what we finally did.  The week before had been so busy that we hadn’t had a chance to talk at all, and it was so special to be able to spend this time together before leaving.

    We got to Newark in good time, three hours before our flight was set to depart, and then went about the fun of checking all of our luggage in. Everything went well, except for passing through TSA security, which was very pressured and the person there traumatized one of my kids when she told him to go through, he started to go but he walked too fast so she screamed at him, and then he was scared to go through despite me (I had gone through ahead of him) and a few workers trying to convince him it was okay.  I could tell all the workers were bothered by what happened because I heard a number of them commenting to each other about how the head honcho behaved and I got the impression that this wasn’t an unusual or isolated incident.

    Anyway, we got the waiting area with just a short time to wait, and after less than a half hour, boarded the plane.  Just as we were set to take off, the pilot shut down the engines and announced that there was a mechanical problem, so we waited another two hours for it to be fixed.  During that time, it gave us a chance to appreciate what good seats we were assigned.  Our plane was three rows wide, with each section having three seats.  We were assigned the last three center rows at the very end of the plane, with ds18 assigned his own seat several rows ahead of us.  The kids were disappointed that we didn’t have any window seats because they were looking forward to the views, but after we took off we saw that the very last two seats in the plane across from us were empty, so the kids moved over there and took turns sitting next to the window.

    Ds18 happened to have an empty seat on each side of him, so initially I moved two kids up to him.  But when we took off and we saw the two vacant seats close to us, he moved back to be with us.  The seats were perfect – we were close the bathrooms, and because it was the back of the plane, there weren’t people passing from in front and behind us, only in front.  So it allowed the kids a little more leeway to move around during the quiet hours when most of the passengers were sleeping.  Since it was an afternoon flight, none of us slept more than two or three hours, but the flight went very smoothly.  The littles were angels and the older kids were all very helpful in taking care of younger siblings.

    After almost twelve hours on the plane but less than ten hours of flying time, we saw the view of Israel quickly coming into focus.

    Avivah