Category: aliyah

Nefesh B’ Nefesh has weekly webinars on topics of interest to those considering making aliyah, and since my ds18 has an open file with them, I can listen to the webinars through his account.  There are about 4 – 5 webinars each Sunday on a number of topics, but I chose from those that were of most interest to me.  I signed up for the first time last week for a webinar on Day Tripping in the North (of Israel); I wanted to get ideas of local attractions before we get there.  Next week is about bringing teens on aliyah, the week after is a focus on Karmiel, and this week was Saying Goodbye, Saying Hello: The Emotional Side of Aliyah.

(Edited to add: the process of immigrating to Israel is called aliyah.  Aliyah literally means ascension, moving up.  Moving to Israel is considered a spiritual uplift; someone immigrating is called an oleh (one who goes up).  An Israeli citizen who moves away from Israel is called a yored, one who goes down, and the process of leaving Israel is called yerida, going down.)

Last week I didn’t take notes – my aliyah notebook is constantly being misplaced because it’s a composition notebook like my kids, so they often push it onto the shelf with theirs when they clean up without realizing it’s mine.  After weeks of it being missing, I finally gave up on trying to keep all my notes in one place and I manage with my little green planner to keep track of everything.  This week, I grabbed a scrap paper before sitting down at the computer for the webinar, and as I was taking notes, I thought I’d share them here in case it’s of help to someone else.

I missed the first ten minutes, so when I logged in she was talking about….

A) The importance of sharing your feelings with your friends and family here – your excitement, your ambivalence, your fears.  It helps everyone stay connected and supportive of one another.  I guess you have to know who you’re talking to.  I have family members that definitely don’t want me to even casually or remotely touch on the topic of us leaving, and even if it would be nice for me to talk about it, I have to consider their feelings as well.  So you obviously have to know who can handle it.

B) Be careful to have realistic expectations.  People think they’ll: make tons of friends right away, go back to the country they made aliyah from every summer, love it in Israel, learn Hebrew in no time.  This isn’t always true and expectations that aren’t met lead to disappointment.  It takes time to make good friends, you won’t necessarily have the funds to make the trips overseas you anticipated, learning Hebrew can take a lot of effort and a long time, and people don’t always love living there right away, or as much as they expected.

I strongly agree with this point; I’m sure I’ve written at some point here about  realistic expectations being integral to being happy.  People keep asking me and the kids if we’re excited, and I keep saying, no, not really.  I’m optimistic and feel great about going or I wouldn’t be doing all of this, but I’m trying to be very, very realistic about what we’re going to face when we get there, and to keep the kids realistic as well.  I might be going overboard on being realistic, because they’re not getting much of the excitement and gung ho fervor (though I’m trying to make sure they get some of that, too, or they’d wonder why we’re moving if it’s not going to be a bed of roses!  Here’s some of what I’ve told them:

As soon as we get there, I’m immediately going to need to go to government offices, change bills into our name, get approval for the amount of people in our family for water allotment, sign up for health insurance, change our status to returning citizens, register dd14 for high school, help ds18 visit and apply to his yeshiva (different part of the country), get a phone plan, internet service.  We won’t have any furniture or appliances, so we’ll be sleeping on the floor and eating very simple meals of bread, cheese spread and fresh vegetables, while I simultaneously run around buying the furniture we need from different private individuals (since I’m planning to buy used), arranging moving help for each item since we won’t have a vehicle.

I’m okay with all of this – this is what it takes to make a move like this, and if they’re prepared for the move, it will be easier for them to adapt.  I don’t want them to expect excitement and fun from the minute they step off the plane!  My goal is to have things in place by Rosh Hashana (dd16 already asked about hosting a couple of people, and I told her we’ll try but I don’t know if we’ll have guest beds yet!), which this year is the end of September, so that we can all sit back and enjoy the holidays together.

C) Logging Off (this is their term for closing up life in the US)

She talked about the physical and emotional side of packing, of the difficulties in living in a home that is turning into a house as the things that make it a home for you are packed, sold, or given away.  Sometimes it’s hard to separate from belongings that have an emotional value for you, and you need to recognize and validate that it’s okay to feel like this.  She didn’t talk about the challenges of getting rid of almost everything and not making a lift at all!

Then there’s the practical aspects of closing up shop: do you leave your bank account open or not?  What about your mail?  Your driver’s license should be current for at least six months after moving because if you buy a car with the benefits a new immigrant is eligible for, this is important.

Goodbye parties – great way to have closure.  They give everyone a chance to support you and to share their own feelings of loss or happiness or both!  I still have warm memories of the goodbye party friends had for me when we left Israel.  No parties planned yet for dh and I, but our shul is having a goodbye shalosh seudos for us the week before we leave.  (If you live in the neighborhood, you’re welcome to come by – it’s  not a formal kind of thing.)  Today ds12 was taken to lunch at a nice Chinese restaurant by two of his friends in honor of him leaving; they got a special dessert and gave him a gift, and it was really nice for them all.

She suggested packing along in your luggage things that will help you feel connected to those you left behind in the transitory period before your lift arrives.  And something else I really agree strongly with, to take time to breathe and do things for yourself, to have fun as a family, and for this period to not be all about the move.  I’ve written about that – my bird watching outing, trips with the kids, this camping trip – that’s what it’s all about.  Our life can’t totally revolve around this move; it has to be about living and enjoying life together, with this move as part of our larger lives.

D) Logging In-

Nowadays it’s easier than ever before to stay in touch with those you left behind.  I keep telling everyone who says how much they’ll miss me this – I don’t feel like we really have to say goodbye, we can still stay in touch.  Really, it’s not like twenty years ago when you knew it was unlikely you would ever see or speak to that person again.  Now you can talk for free while seeing each other on Skype!  Add in VOIP lines, email, twitter, FB…. and for me, my blog! 😛

She brought up the importance of realistic expectations again: this time, recognizing how long it will take for things to get done, to pick up the language, to get used to the culture.  Two more points she mentioned that I thought were very important: a) you’ll be parenting in new surroundings and this can shift the family dynamic, and b) emotions and concerns that were voiced pre-aliyah may resurface and need to be addressed.

Now I need to get ready to leave for our annual shul (synagogue) picnic!

Avivah

>>I have a question re: your aliyah to Karmiel . . . Did you buy a place?  I am asking because I spoke to a realtor, who mentioned a large family from the States that just bought; I am speculating that this is you.  If so, I would greatly appreciate some information about your purchase process. We’re getting a lot of mixed eitzah (advice) on this. Lots of warnings against, notwithstanding the fact of a really tight rental market. Not sure what to do.<<

Yes, we did buy an apartment.  Buying in a place one hasn’t yet lived in (or even visited) is unusual, so I’ll share what we did and why. 

The Israeli real estate market is the third hottest in the world.  Prices are going up constantly because there’s simply not enough housing.  The purchase prices in Karmiel have gone up about 25% in the last six months, and I believe they will continue rising steadily for a number of reasons.  Though the traditional advice to those making aliyah is to rent for at least a year before buying anything, I didn’t feel this was the best way for us to go. 

Firstly, in a year the purchase price in all likelihood would be higher, and in a year our money wouldn’t go as far.  (As it is, a year ago we could have bought a house or very nicely renovated large apartment for what we’re paying now.)  We were able to qualify for a purchase based on our current income; I don’t know when my husband will find a job in Israel and how much he’ll make once he does.  Due to our family size and the regulations governing how much you have to make, we’d have to make an additional 1000 shekels a month per child in addition to the amount we’d need to make for qualifying for the loan, we’d be looking at a monthly income that would be extremely high and more typical of two high earning spouses combined.  Not having that kind of income would necessitate getting co-signers for the loan, something I wanted to avoid.

Since the majority of apartments for rent are 2 or 3 bedrooms or large houses, it’s not easy to find a rental for a family our size, and not easy to find someone who wants to rent to a family our size.  (Actually, right now it’s not easy to find a rental in Karmiel, period.)  My kids will have enough transitions without having to make another move in the near future by leaving a starter rental for something else – I really wanted to start off in our own home to give them an added sense of stability.  And I didn’t want the pressure of worrying how much our rent would increase when it was time to re-sign the lease in a year.  (Rental prices have risen quite a bit recently, as well.)

I am delighted to share with you that an important milestone in our preparation to move to Israel has been accomplished – we’ve found a place to live in Israel!

I’ve been looking for a place in Karmiel since March and at the beginning of June (yes, this is one more thing I was busy with at the same time I was planning the Torah Home Education Conference! :)), we signed a contract on an apartment for our family.  It involved eight weeks of smoothing out lots of bumps, and I am so grateful to have this piece in place.  The apartment will be available on August 15, and having a concrete date to work with makes everything else easier.  (Eg, you can’t buy tickets until you know you have a place to go, and I can’t tell potential buyers when our home is available until I know when we’ll be leaving!)

Though apartment living is normal in Israel and I’m comfortable with the idea, I was concerned about having to live in a much smaller space than what we were used to.  I’m trying to make the transition as smooth as possible for the kids – there will be enough transitions without me drastically changing their standard of living.  The challenge was finding something that was big enough that was also in our price range – housing in Israel is expensive, even in the less expensive areas like the north.  There are a number of beautiful large homes available in Karmiel, but they are pricey (and though it’s true that housing is much more expensive in the central areas of Israel, it doesn’t make other areas cheap), and apartments tend to be on the smaller side.  I wanted at least four bedrooms (5 rooms, as it’s called in Israel) which I don’t think is being a prima donna considering we’re 11 people.  But once you’re looking for more than a three bedroom apartment, you drastically narrow down what’s available. 

But Hashem (G-d) sent us just what we needed!  It’s a large apartment, according to Israeli standards – 160 meters (approximately 1700 sf).   If I were to figure the actual living space in our home now, not including the finished basement (which is basically just used for storage) and half of the attic that we use for storage, it comes out to basically the same square footage.   We’ve given away lots of our belongings and since we won’t be taking much stuff with us, the apartment should be a reasonable size for us all. 

It’s called a duplex apartment, meaning that it’s on two floors.  There are six rooms (five bedrooms – actually, more like 4.5 bedrooms because of the layout – you have to walk through one room to get to another).  The main floor has a kitchen, combined living room/dining room (this combined area is known as a ‘salon’ in Israel), small porch off the kitchen for the washing machine, three bedrooms, and a small porch off the salon.  There’s a spiral staircase that leads upstairs, where there are two rooms.  The staircase enters directly into the first room, and then directly from that room you enter into the second bedroom.   As of now, I’m thinking the best use of space will be to give the littles the open room because they won’t care if their older brothers walk through their space.  🙂

The kids are all used to sharing bedrooms, and they’ll actually be more spaced out than they are currently if we have three of them in each bedroom as tenatively planned.  Ds18 will be away at yeshiva and only home for one Shabbos a month, so there will just be ds9 and ds12 in the older boys’ room when he’s away.  Dd16  asked if she could sleep in the extra bedroom when we don’t have guests; if we agree to that (this isn’t a given by any means), there will only be two girls in the other room.  Though most families our size don’t have the luxury of a guest room (due to the compact size of apartments in Israel), by using our space as described we’ll be able to have one room for when guests visit!  I feel very abundant.

We’ve been very spoiled in our current home in that we have 3.5 bathrooms, and though I know it’s a luxury to have so many bathrooms, I’ve really loved having the privacy of dh and I not sharing a bathroom with the kids. (When we renovated the attic, we turned it into our bedroom and put in a full bathroom.)   The apartment was listed as having two full bathrooms, one upstairs and one downstairs, which I was glad about since only one would be very tough for us and a number of the apartments listed had two toilets but only one shower.  Imagine my surprise when dd16 (who went to see it two days before she came home for Pesach) offhandedly mentioned that there was a bathroom in the master bedroom!   I thought that meant that there wasn’t a bathroom upstairs (since there were only supposed to be two total), but she told me that there are actually three bathrooms – for some reason there was an error on the listing.  So we’ll still be able to have one bathroom just for us, the boys will share the one share upstairs, and last one will be on the main floor for the girls and guests.  This many bathrooms is so unusual for apartments there – amazing, isn’t it?

I ideally would have loved a ground floor apartment with a garden, or alternatively a huge porch.  But that’s not what I found, and now I won’t have to worry about the upkeep or water usage to maintain a yard.  This apartment is on the first floor (14 steps up) and has a small porch – maybe 4′ x 8′ – it’s fine for daily use, and for Sukkos we’ll have to figure out what to do.   The apartment building has only four apartments total, which is nice because it is more personal than a huge building.  It’s on a quiet street that is very central, with easy walking access to everything.   A huge and beautiful park is just five minutes away, food shopping is a two minute walk, and the shul is a five minute walk.  (We’re not planning on having a car so how close things are by foot is important!)

Since it’s been rented for over 15 years, it hasn’t had much in the way of asthetics invested in it. The top cabinets in the kitchen don’t match the bottom cabinets, and the entire apartment could use a coat of fresh paint.  But those are cosmetic issues that can be dealt with without much difficulty if we want to.  We asked a contractor to check it out since there was a mildew spot on one wall upstairs, and we needed to make sure there wasn’t a mold issue.  It turns out there are a couple of broken tiles on the roof that led to a small leak, and by replacing those tiles the issue will be able to be resolved.

Though it’s simple, it meets my most important criteria of space and location: location was very important to me, since it’s hard to feel involved in your community if you’re a big hike away from where the nucleus of your friends are living.  I would have loved it if we were able to find a place that already had some furnishings there, just so there would be something in place for us when we get there.  But Israeli apartments don’t come with appliances, let alone furniture, so we’ll need to purchase a stove, refrigerator, and washing machine as well as all of our other furniture pretty much as soon as we get there.  My plan is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually it will all get done. 🙂 

Avivah

“I would love to know what is prompting you to move back there after so many years.”

When I first wrote about our decision to move back to Israel after eleven years, I wan’t able to detail some of my thoughts due to constraints on my time at that point.  I’ve been asked about this a lot, so I’ll  try to share more fully about some aspects of our move that I only wrote briefly about in the past.

When I first arrived in Israel as a post high school student, I fell in love with the country. I felt at home in a very deep core level way, and when my husband and I met, we agreed that was where we wanted to make our home. I felt more strongly about this than dh, who is very amiable and would have been satisfied with wherever we lived.  For the first eight years of our marriage, that’s where we lived. Our first four children were born there (the fifth was born two months after returning to the US), and I never anticipated that we would one day leave.

 But my husband had begun to feel that there wasn’t a place for him to move forward with what he wanted to do in a way that was financially feasible.   So when he was offered a rabbinical position in the US where he felt he could use his potential in a way that didn’t have an outlet in Israel, we agreed to make the move.  At the time of our move, my oldest was 7 and though we spoke English at home, he was culturally Israeli- and the adjustment to the US school system was difficult. 

After some months he fully adjusted, but when the two years we had committed to for the position was over, I knew we couldn’t return to Israel and force him to reacclimate again – as hard as it had been at age 7, it would be much harder at age 9.  It was our idea to move to the US, and I didn’t want him to be the one paying the highest price.  And financially it wasn’t feasible – an overseas move is enormously expensive, and though our moving costs had been paid to the US by the organization he worked for, no one was offering to pay for us to get back to Israel!

And that’s how we ended up staying in the US.  Often I would tell my husband I wished we could move back, but as time went on, it seemed more and more impossible.  Once my husband’s parents and then my mother moved to the city we were living in to be close to us (7 and 5 years ago), the door in my mind to moving back slammed shut.  How could I consider leaving here once they were living in the same area?  So every time the thought would niggle at the back of my mind, I would firmly squash it.

Then dd16 went to school in Israel this past year, and through Hashem’s amazing kindness I was able to visit along with dd14.  (Dd14 emptied her account of money she spent years saving to pay for this.)  Dd16 had told us several times since she had gotten there that she wished we would move to Israel, and that she planned to live there once she was married.  I had told her I hoped she would be able to live there, but for us it wasn’t realistic. 

Then dd14 and I got there – we arrived at about 1 pm, and by 9 pm that night, dd14 told me she loves it there and wishes we could live there.  Dd14 is a very well-thought out person who doesn’t impulsively say things like that, and I saw how deeply she felt connected to being there.  I asked her more about her feelings and thoughts about this, but I didn’t share my own.  Repeatedly during our ten day visit, dd16 and dd14 would ask me if we could move to Israel, and I repeatedly told them it was a very nice thought but simply impossible. 

“But why?”  they kept asking.  Because, I explained, it would cost a lot of money to make a move for a family of 11.  We wouldn’t have the advantage of free tickets or financial subsidies offered to new olim, but we would face all the same challenges they faced.  My husband didn’t have easily transferable job skills, and would have the pressure of supporting a very large family.  It would mean starting over.  You can’t move back with kids over the age of 10 – it’s too hard an adjustment and there’s a high rate of problems in families who do.  And even if we could work all of that out (highly unlikely), it would be hurtful to their grandparents if we left.

So that was it.  I totally closed the conversation with them and told them it wasn’t going to happen for years, if then.  But when I returned to the US, dd14 stayed behind for an additional week, and I had time to think about it without any outside voices.  My short visit had confirmed for me that Israel was still where my heart was.  Though it seemed wildly unrealistic, I still thought about it a lot.  I thought about where we would live – I knew we couldn’t move back to Beitar, but didn’t know where we could go.  I thought about the challenges of acculturating for the kids, of finding work for my dh, of financing the move.

The more I thought about it, the less crazy it seemed.   While I was thinking about this, dd14 still was in Israel.  Her feeling of wanting to be there only intensified during her time there – when I spoke to her the night before she flew back to the US, I asked her if she was looking forward to coming home.  Her answer: “I feel like Israel is my home and  I’m just going back to Baltimore to visit, which is kind of sad because we’ve lived there for so long.  I feel like this is where I belong and I don’t want to leave.”

It really makes you think when you hear your child say something like that.  Here I was assuming that it was best for my kids to be in America, that it would be too hard for them to transition at their ages – and two of the three oldest were strongly telling me they wanted to live in Israel!

Though I casually mentioned to dh a few days after getting back from Israel how nice it was there and how wonderful it would be if we could live there, I didn’t discuss all the thoughts flying through my mind.  I was thinking very intensely about all of it but needed to put my thoughts together before broaching it with him.  The first thing I had to clarify for myself is if it was the right thing to do for our family at this time, and why.  Once I concluded that it would be a good move to make, I had to think about how to translate the desire into reality.

I mentally went through each issue that I felt would be of concern, starting with the children: I realized that as homeschoolers, we could alleviate a lof of the most immediate difficulties with transitioning.  (I’ll try to detail this in a future post.)

Where would we live?  I began researching different communities, using the NBN website.  I thought a lot about what features were important to us and looked for a community that met those criteria. This is how we ended up choosing Karmiel, even though we’ve never been there.  (Yes, I’ll write more about this in a future post. :))

How could we afford to move?  I’ve sometimes felt somewhat like a frugality semi-failure – yes, frugality has enabled me to live very abundantly and happily on one modest income.  But when I would read about people who pay off their house in full by the time they are 30 or accumulate huge savings, I felt inadequate.  But as I considered our finances in light of a potential move, I realized that we weren’t in such a bad situation.  a) We don’t have any debt (outside of the mortgage on our home) – I never really actively considered this a plus, until speaking to a number of friends who also want to move to Israel but have such large debts ($50,000 and up) that it doesn’t seem viable.  b) I had been able to save some money – not as much as I would like, but enough to pay for tickets for our family.  A couple of years ago I had made some small  investments that did well, and when cashed in would give us a cushion to live on in Israel for our first three months (frugally, of course!).  c) We purchased an apartment in Israel when we were first  married, and unlike most people who move back, chose not to sell it.  Though we wouldn’t live there, perhaps we could sell it and use the proceeds to help us get a fresh start.  (That ended up not being possible to do but is still an asset.)  So, I concluded, we were actually in a decent position. 

The main question that remained was about employment for my dh.  Since the work he does now isn’t economically viable there, it would mean he would have to be willing to really start over – this is very intimidating for us both to think about.  But as I repeatedly reminded myself, it’s Hashem who provides for us here and it’s Hashem who will provide for us there. 

After I had worked through all of these things in my mind – it took about a week or so – I shared my thoughts with dh.  He really wasn’t interested in moving back, not even a little bit.  Not one bit.   So you can see how it’s a credit to him that he was willing to listen even when he didn’t want to listen! 🙂  I felt really strongly about this and had to remind myself to back off and give him time to process what I was saying, so he wouldn’t feel too pressured.  We talked about this pretty much constantly for a few weeks: what the benefits would be, what the challenges would be, and how we could deal with them.  (Though he agreed to make the move, initially he was going along with what I wanted rather than really wanting it himself; coming to fully embrace the idea and actually feeling enthusiastic and positive was a gradual evolution but we are now very much fully on the same page in every way.) 

In addition to how we could make the move, I shared a lot about why I wanted to move, about my feeling that there’s a feeling of emotional connection to others, as well as spiritual connection to G-d, that you simply don’t have outside of Israel.  There’s a sense of belonging – I don’t feel like an outsider in the US, I was born and raised here, as were our parents and almost all of our grandparents – but there are things like stopping to daven (pray) mincha at a rest stop or even saying brochos (blessings) over foods, the way we dress, times when our kids feel very aware of being different that just isn’t an issue in a Jewish country.  Kids have more freedom and independence – there are more eyes than just your own looking out for them – and along with that comes a feeling of increased safety and security.   And along with all of that, there’s a mitzva of living in Israel.  This is all hard to verbalize because it’s something that I feel so strongly but just don’t have words to express properly. 

Then there’s the negatives, a place that I try not to make decisions from but are relevant to take into account.  I have serious concerns about what is happening in America right now.  I believe this country has been blessed by G-d in large part because of the commitment to biblical values from the time of its founding.  Morally and now financially, our country is collapsing and the outlook to me is very concerning.  I very, very much hope that the US will be able to restore its position as the amazing and unique country it was for so long, and that my concerns will be shown to be baseless. 

That’s the story of how a month after returning from my visit to Israel, we came to the decision to make the move with our entire family approximately five months later!

Avivah

Today we have reached a milestone in our aliyah planning – the file for ds17 with the Jewish Agency has offically been recognized as complete!  I was informed that they will now send the file to Israel to the Ministry of Absorption for him to be recognized as a returning minor.  

It’s amazing to me how long this has taken – well, beauracracy is what it is wherever you go, so I’m not shocked.  Just bemused.  I’m not a person who waits until the last minute to get things done, and I got started on this months ago, thinking to get it out of the way early.  In spite of giving in every piece of required documentation by mid April, I was told a month later that we still hadn’t proved parental (us) proof of living in the US from 2010 – 2011.  I was surprised, since I gave her one paper in her hand for 2000 until 2009, and emailed her the form for 2010 that evening.  But I sent it again.

A month later, we got another email telling us we need to send proof of parental residency in the US for 2010 – 2011.   Hmm.  I checked our sent email files and there were two copies of sent emails to her with the requested file attached, one from two months earlier and one from a month earlier.  We sent this yet again.  Do you think we received a confirmation email regarding this? 🙂  Nope. 

When almost weeks after that I was told yet again that I was holding things up by not sending them the necessary information and given a fax number to send it to, I asked her to check her recent emails to see if she had the attachment sent.  She didn’t bother responding.  I decided to just fax the paperwork to a different office, where we confirmed receipt by a phone call to that office. 

I was glad to have this finally out of the way – to me, ten weeks to get two pieces of paper officially received is way too long!  But my relief was premature, because a couple of days later we were told that we never submitted any proof of living in the US for any other years.  There was no reason to mention that I gave her the copy of the paperwork in person, clarified (twice) that she had it and that there the only missing piece of documentation was the one above.  Sometimes Hashem makes it obvious that your help isn’t coming from the sources you expect it to come from.  We sent every original document by fax to the other office, and finally today we were told the file is officially finished!

Every time I’ve asked a question regarding the status of dd16 (we’ve been trying to clarify that she can receive benefits as a returning minor while in Israel once she turns 17, since she won’t have been there longer than the allowed amount of time – logically and legally it seems she can, but I don’t like to depend on logic or legality since that doesn’t always seem to matter), I’ve been told that because our file isn’t complete, they can’t answer my questions.  Now that the file was completed I was told that we have to wait until she’s 17 and file an appeals while in Israel. This was so amazingly unhelpful I can’t even say – this has been a huge issue we’ve been trying to get an answer on for four months, even before we made the decision to move. 

Ah, well, I’m getting my share of reminders to let go of thinking that it’s my efforts that are making the difference and to turn it over to Hashem to take care of for me.  This might be one of the best preparations we can make for living in Israel. 🙂

Avivah

The question below is one that I think almost every single person who heard we’re moving to Israel has asked:

“Are you going with Nefesh B’Nefesh?”

For those who don’t know, Nefesh B’Nefesh is an organization that supports people who are moving to Israel as olim.  My husband and I were both studying in Israel when we met; we got married there and then decided it made sense to legally become citizens.  I believe we got a small monthly rental subsidy for the first year as a benefit of having made aliyah (becoming Israeli citizens); we didn’t make a lift because we didn’t have anything to bring from the US or the money to do it even if we had, I was able to attend ulpan for one week in between jobs, and that’s the extent of the benefits we received as olim!

We lived in Israel for eight years before moving back to the US to pursue a rabbinical position offered to my husband, and have been in the US for eleven years.  We no longer have the status of olim and the time we were entitled to claim them has run out, but are now considered ‘returning citizens’.   To be more accurate, we’re officially gorrerei zechuyot – those whose rights as olim were frozen when they left the country (we left after eight years and the final benefits run out at 10 years) – but have been working for several months to legally change our status to that of returning citizens.  We meet the technical requirements, but it’s been hard to find someone who knows how to handle a case like ours without sending us to Israel to first sign waivers before returning here to make the move – we’re in a gray zone that they rarely deal with.  People are usually olim or naturally born Israelis who are returning to live in Israel, but not olim who are returning citizens!  Hopefully this week it will finally be resolved and we can finally buy our tickets! :)) 

Nefesh B’Nefesh (NBN) doesn’t assist returning citizens – not even if you were born and raised in America, have lots of kids born in the US, or didn’t use the immigration benefits the first time around.  When I called NBN, they were pleasant but emphatically told me that I was welcome to browse their website but they wouldn’t be able to answer any questions or offer us assistance of any kind, including information.  And no, my kids born in the US don’t qualify for any benefits, either. (All of our children, those born in Israel and in the US, have the status of dual citizens as well.)   The exception is ds17, who will be considered a returning minor. 

This surprises most people, who assume that we are benefiting from the generous absorbtion benefits available to those making aliyah.  When I tell them we aren’t, almost everyone says, “But your tickets are paid for, right?”   No.  As returning citizens, we have to purchase our tickets but will be able to get a discounted price for one way tickets of $806 per person; we’ll also be allowed an extra piece of luggage per person.  This is a lot of money but it’s less than if we weren’t able to get this discount – if we had to pay $1300 per person (current prices), we simply wouldn’t be able to afford to move back. 

Another benefit to the returning citizen is that the reinstatement fee to participate in the national medical system is….well, here’s what it it is.  Every person above the age of 18 has to be pay something like 9600 shekels (approx $2500) to make up for the years that they haven’t been living there and paying into the system.  They recently passed a law that returning citizens will have 50% of this sum immediately refunded (I don’t know if that means immediate as in five minutes or five weeks), and the other 50% refunded after a year.  This means we need to come up with about $7500 in order to get medical insurance (for dh, me, and ds17 – he’ll be 18 by then) – kids in Israel are all automatically covered once the parents are paid in full.  The option to paying this money is to go without insurance for six months and then our insurance can be reinstated, which I don’t think is a great option even though I rarely avail myself of the traditional medical services.  (After this point we will pay a monthly fee for health insurance – it’s free to olim for the first year, but that’s it.)

There are some other benefits – like being able to bring a lift within 9 months and having to pay minimal taxes on it – but the one of most immediate importance to me is the discounted tickets.  I believe there’s some kind of assistance in finding employment but I can’t tell you what that is like until we get there (we called but they told us we have to be there first).  The absorption package that olim receive assists them significantly in getting started: buying furniture, stocking the kitchen, and paying expenses until they find work.  None of this is available to the returning citizen. 

One big expense in moving overseas is passports – though everyone is supposed to have up to date passports at all times, but because it was so expensive and we had no plans to travel anywhere, we didn’t have current passports for anyone.  Of course anyone who is moving overseas has to have passports from their country of origin, and in our case, we also need Israeli passports for every family member.  (I might be wrong but I believe if you’re making aliyah that you don’t immediately need Israeli passports.  Please correct me if this is inaccurate.)   We’ve spent over $2000 on passports for the eleven of us, and I’m really glad to have all of the passports issued and ready to go!

A number of people who I’ve spoken to who are in our situation would love to move back to Israel but feel it’s unrealistic.  It’s in large part because there’s so little assistance and the costs are so intimidating that very, very few olim who leave Israel later move back.  Not to mention the concerns and warnings not to come with children over age 10 or 12 because of the social risks in poor adjustments and all that comes along with that.   Obviously, we’re not the only people in this situation, but since I haven’t met anyone else, I haven’t been able to enjoy sharing the experience of this particular aspect of our aliyah experience with anyone. 

This leaves us in an interesting place – without the financial or social supports offered to olim, but facing similar challenges.  However, one advantage we have over many olim is that my husband and I are conversational in Hebrew and familiar with life in Israel (though undoubtedly life in Karmiel will be very different than life in Beitar). 

From a logical position, perhaps it doesn’t make sense for us to move to Israel, to give up our familiar life here to undertake a very major transition.  But I don’t know if moving to Israel is ever really logical for anyone.  I think the Jewish soul feels complete only when in Israel – certainly for me it was a very palpable feeling when I visited in February, of all parts of me being in one place at one time.  What is propelling this move is my strong soul-level feeling that our family belongs in Israel at this time, and it’s really from the soul level that I’m having to deal with confronting some of the concerns that pop up.  The concept that I hold onto is that Hashem has provided for us until now, and will continue to provide for us – my job is to do the leg work and make my best effort, and to trust that He will take care of us, perhaps particularly when it seems hardest to believe that.  And with His help, the pieces are falling into place!

Avivah

I’m delighted to share that our computer situation has been resolved, which will make posting much easier!  I’m so grateful that the public libraries have computer access, which is what I used for the last couple of weeks when my home computer was out of commission.  Amazingly, I only needed to use the library computer three times in two weeks – for someone like me who uses the computer so much, that was pretty amazing!

I initially thought that the problem with the computer was the monitor, but it turns out that the entire computer is dead.  And what’s really nice about that, is now I don’t have to use our precious limited luggage allotment to take our bulky desktop computer with us to Israel, and I don’t have any conflict about buying something else when what we have is usable ! 

We haven’t yet purchased our tickets to Israel (I hope we’ll be able to buy them this week), but assuming we fly with El Al airlines, we’ll be allowed three suitcases per person, with a 50 lb weight limit per suitcase.  Of course we’ll be taking clothing, linens, and pots and pans, but other than that, I’m debating what’s worth bringing and what can easily be purchased at a reasonable price in Israel. 

For example, my dishes are stoneware, so I’m not taking them (way too heavy and breakable); I was thinking of purchasing Corelle to take along, but then thought that maybe I can get something like that (actually, I prefer nice melanine because it’s more child-friendly) there that is comparably priced.  My silverware has been steadily disappearing – of the service for 30 I bought, I now have five forks remaining.  So should I buy more cheapo quality flatware at Walmart now or just get something there?  Ditto with linens – most of our sheets are good quality sets that we’ve had for over 15 years so they’re still usable, but with the upcoming move, it seems a shame to take something that is at the end of its usable life.  But would I be better off buying new linens here or there? 

It’s hard to make these evaluations since I don’t know how much things cost in Israel.  And the question isn’t just about price – I’m guessing that most items are available less expensively in the US – but is also taking into consideration the luggage space it will take up (so taking one thing means not taking something else), and the convenience of having what we need right away vs. the run around factor of having to find and buy something when we get there.  Where we’re moving to in the north isn’t exactly the center of commerce, so I doubt bargain shopping is easily accomplished for items like these.  Obviously, it would be easiest to take everything that we’ll need, but since we won’t be taking a lift (too expensive), we’re going to manage with what we can fit into our suitcases (so obviously big items will be purchased when we get there.)  That means that there are a lot of decisions about what has priority in packing that we need to make.

As much as I’d like to take my canner, canning jars, and dehydrator, they won’t be coming along (though I think I’ll bring along a jar lifter).  My grain grinder will, and I’m thinking that I’ll use the 40 lb capacity square buckets that I store bulk foods in to pack smaller items into, then place them within the larger box.  They’re super convenient and it took me ages to aquire them here, and I’d think they’d be even harder to find in Israel. 

I’d like to take our Pesach dishes – we’ve had them since we were first married and they’ve made the move across the ocean twice,  across the US once, and within the cities we’ve lived in five times – and even though they’re heavy, I’m going to try to take them – they could easily be replaced, but it’s about the consistency of memories for our family; when those dishes come out every year, it feels like Pesach for everyone. 

Only a small number of books, games, and homeschooling supplies will come along – we’ll have to find libraries there with English sections, and eventually the kids will be able to read well enough in Hebrew that we can access the Hebrew language literature there.  I’d really like to take a few bottles of extra virgin olive oil, since it’s so expensive there, I still have a number of bottles left, and it’s something I use all the time – but weight-wise I’ll have to see if we can manage it.  I plan to take along whatever xylitol we have left – dd16 took some to Israel and had some regularly throughout the year, and she was one of the only girls in her program that didn’t get lice, even though she was checking other girls for lice and then cleaning their hair out.  (Thanks, Malkie, for sharing your experience with this when I wrote about xylitol!)

If you have an idea of what the most valuable things to take along would be (either because you live in Israel, have made a move like this, or are otherwise familiar with the issue at hand), please share your recommendations of what you found most valuable to take along! 

Avivah