I had a wonderful time at the wedding of my close friend’s daughter in Jerusalem last night!   She lives in the US and we’ve only seen each other once in the last fifteen years (not including last night), and it was very special to be able to share this event with her in person.  It was a beautiful, beautiful evening, very poignant and emotional for me after knowing the mother for almost thirty years and the bride since she was an infant.

I was expecting that I’d hardly know anyone outside of the family members of the bride, but I was very pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t the case! First, I had the pleasure of meeting a blog reader and her mother-in-law.  Then while I was speaking with them, I saw a friend for whom I made sheva brachos about 21 years ago, accompanied by her three teenage daughters (she still remembers spending Shabbos at our home when she was in early pregnancy with her oldest, now 20).  I saw her briefly at a get together arranged when I visited Israel in Feb. 2011 (before making aliyah was on the agenda), and before that it had been at least nine years since we saw one another.

Then while talking to her, someone suddenly exclaimed, “Avivah!” and I turned to see someone excitedly approaching me who I couldn’t immediately identify.  You know when you’re not expecting to see someone you haven’t seen for a long time so you need a minute to place them?  A moment later I realized she was a neighbor and friend who I last saw 15 years ago – she then moved to Brazil and I hadn’t had any contact with her since then.  She had no idea I was in Israel, and I had no idea she was in Israel – it was a very wonderful mutual surprise!  We spent quite a bit of time catching up.

Then when walking to the chuppa, I glanced at someone who simultaneously glanced at me, and we both said, “You look familiar!”  Turns out she was Yirmiyahu’s physical therapist at Shalva for the few times he went, over a year and a half ago.  What a lovely woman.  When the meal began, I happened to sit next to someone who recognized me from the homeschooling talk I gave in Telzstone in June.

It turned out to be a very social evening that I thoroughly enjoyed, but all of these interactions were really the cherry on top of being able to be there when my dear friend’s oldest daughter got married.  I stayed in Jerusalem overnight and the next day we (me and the mother of the bride) were able to spend several hours chatting, which was amazing.  A good friend is an incredible gift and I am very blessed.

And I’m also happy to be off of all those buses….I’m becoming an increasingly disgruntled and weary traveler.  🙂  I need at least a month of no long distance bus travel before I can mentally think about making that trip again.  Ugh.  I seriously feel like spending a day in bed.  I won’t belabor how difficult this trip was for me, but truly  every second of the traveling was worth it to share this life event with my friend!

Avivah

I got an early morning call from dd18 this morning, and in response to my cheery, “Good morning, M!” which she seemed not to hear, she said, “Um, don’t be worried (I started to feel cold inside as soon as she said that knowing something bad was coming) but I just got hit by a car.”

She was calling as they were getting her ready to transport to the hospital.  She was waiting in Jerusalem for her bus when a car spun out of control, leaped the curb and hit her and another man at the bus stop.  The man was standing three feet from her; he was hit first and more seriously injured.

Thankfully, the bench where she usually sits was wet so she chose to stand to the side instead, saving her from a very serious injury – the bench was directly hit by the car and demolished.

Dd says she was only lightly injured and I hope this is true.  She says she’s mostly okay but right after an accident, a person often doesn’t feel their injuries and I’m waiting to hear after she’s checked out at the hospital how she’s really doing.

I called dd19 who is in an outlying area of Jerusalem to let her know what happened, and ask her to go to the hospital to meet dd18 so she won’t be alone.  She doesn’t have a direct bus so it will take her some time to get there.  So then I called the dorm counselor where dd18 studies and asked her to arrange someone to be with dd18 in the hospital.  I wish I could be with her but she needs someone now and I’m a few hours away.

It’s now 8:30 am and I’ll update as the day goes along.  I would appreciate prayers for Michal bas Avivah Michaelah.  If I’m able to get the name of the man who was hurt, I’ll share that as well.

Edited to add: dd’s dorm counselor met dd at the hospital as soon as she could get there. Dd’s wrist was broken and after giving her a cast was released.  She’ll need to follow up with an orthopedist to check that the bone is setting straight.  Dd19 spent most of the day with her.

A friend from Karmiel happened to be leaving to Jerusalem this morning and I gave her homeopathic and flower essence remedies for dd to help with the shock and emotional trauma, which dd began taking as soon as it got there.  She’s spent hours sleeping but is still unusually tired.  Her head and arm are hurting – I know it must be a lot because she mentioned it and since she doesn’t complain, for her to mention something means it’s significant.

 I’m going to make an appointment with our osteopath as soon as I can get her an appointment; when I was hit by a car the osteopath told me to wait for two weeks before getting a treatment so it won’t be any sooner than that, and is likely to be Chanuka time since she has a long waiting list.  

Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes – this was very unsettling and worrisome for us all but I’m so grateful it wasn’t more serious.

Avivah

This week marks a month since I was hit by a car…..it’s been a very intense month.

The first week was physically difficult but that has gotten much better.  Ds4 and I went to the osteopath a couple of weeks ago.  She examined him and found the muscles on one side of his body were knotted throughout the entire side – she had me feel it and even my inexperienced hands could tell what she was talking about.  She said she never sees this in a child other than when there has been an accident of some sort or when there is scoliosis and then it’s only with kids who are much older than him.  She worked on him and told me not to worry, that he won’t have any lasting damage from the accident.  He’s doing great – though when we cross the street he often tells me when we get to the other side that the car waiting at the crosswalk right then almost hit us; that’s his feeling and there’s obviously still anxiety about crossing streets but this is getting less.

Then she worked on me and asked me if I was having headaches and dizziness and if that was something new since the accident.  I told her I was and it was (though I hadn’t paid much attention to it until she asked), and she said from the state of my neck it was impossible that I wouldn’t be.  She had initially said since my body went through so much trauma that she wasn’t going to do any physical manipulations because they are a sort of trauma as well but when it came to my neck, she wasn’t able to release the muscles without manipulating.  She warned me I might have a healing response afterward and she was right; for at least 24 hours I had a horrible non-stop headache.  But thankfully I  haven’t had any headaches and the dizziness has been minimal since then.

However, I’ve started having breathing difficulties that are atypical for me, and I’ve been really tired.  Really, really tired.  Like at 11 in the morning I have to take a nap.  Also not typical for me.  This began the day after the accident.  The regular doctor said there’s no connection but I’m positive there is and here’s in short what I think happened.  The adrenal glands are what handles stress in the body and when they’re weak or stressed, your immune system drops (when this becomes a chronic situation, it’s adrenal fatigue).  My adrenals were needing significant support before the accident and I believe that this level of physical and emotional stress pushed my adrenals beyond their ability to cope, like the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.  Asthma and chronic fatigue syndrome are both direct results of later stage adrenal fatigue.

Fortunately, I began treating my adrenals the week before the accident and and  am continuing to work on this.  Maybe I’ll talk more about the boatload of vitamins I’m taking daily as part of my healing protocol another time.  Healing the adrenals is a long, long process and this sudden worsening of my adrenal symptoms is something that will take much longer to spring back from than the physical injuries alone.  But it’s good to understand what’s happening and I’m optimistic that my adrenals can heal and I’ll get back to myself.

Emotionally it’s been a difficult month.  It was as if my feeling of isolation regarding lack of support through all the difficulties we’ve gone through in the last two years was triggered by this accident and started flooding out at once.  Good thing I was taking so many emotion balancing vitamins!  This hasn’t been a fun process to say the least but it’s a learning process.

Today I was told by an alternative physician who has supported many people through difficult situations through the years, that she’s never seen someone go through so many troubles who remained as calm and positive as I have, and she thinks I’m the bravest person she ever met.  I recently read something by a pediatrician with many years of practice and she wrote that out of all the traumas she’s seen parents go through, the absolute worst suffering she’s ever seen is one of the situations we’ve gone through.

I have a knee jerk reaction to reject statements like these.  I don’t see my life like this; things have felt hard and sometimes overwhelmingly hard, but even at the worst moments it never seemed worse than what many other people go through.  By the time you’re a parent at my stage of life, just about all of us have experienced really serious challenges of some sort and when I hear what others have gone through, I’m so grateful my challenges are what they are and not worse.  I’m fortunate that so many people have confided in me about their difficulties so I don’t have to theorize about this.   I’m not a complainer – or at least I try not to be – and I tend to downplay what life has been like except to say there have been difficulties.  I have so much to be grateful for – my amazing husband and children are at the top of the list – and I don’t want to focus on what hasn’t been good.  But since the accident, part of my healing process is to allow myself to say that yes, we’ve gone through really hard stuff, one hard thing on top of another and another, all piled on top of each other; each one of those things being situations that people seriously struggle with when it’s only one thing.  When I stand back and look at it through someone else’s eyes I do kind of wonder how we’ve managed.

I have a resistance to being told how strong I am.  I know this is always intended in a positive way but sometimes I have a sense it’s almost like implying that things are easy for me to get through because I have amazing coping skills.  No, it’s not easy for me.  I earned whatever coping skills I have through being forced to develop them.  I’m grateful – beyond grateful – that I and my family have gotten through so many tough things without falling apart.  Sometimes I feel conscious of being an emotionally strong person.  But with equal honesty I can admit that often I feel weak and scared and powerless.  In spite of that weakness or maybe because of it, God has been very good to me and He somehow gives me what I need to keep going so I can keep putting one foot in front of the other.

So when this physician today continued and said I seem to have a lot of inner quiet and faith, she touched on the real answer.  I don’t have so much inner calm and I don’t have so much faith, but whatever faith I have enables me to seem as if I have inner calm. 🙂  Obviously I need these constant reminders about Who is really in charge and to let go and trust Him to take care of me or I wouldn’t be getting them; I just have to remember that on a daily basis when things aren’t in crisis mode and then I’ll be in good shape!

Avivah