On Friday morning, I attended a celebration in honor of a newborn boy; on Saturday, we attended a bar mitzva; Sunday was the funeral that I wrote about, and tonight we attended two weddings.  So many significant events in just a few days, and so much emotion. 

Going to the weddings was very poignant, coming so soon after the funeral and because both of the brides were very young, just two or three years older than the boy who was killed in the accident.  At each of the weddings I met people I had seen at the funeral, and I know that they all shared the same mixed emotions that I had.  It was strong enough to sense, as we looked at each other and remembered where we last were when we saw one another just two days ago.  Some of us spoke about it together, about the very fresh feelings of sadness mixed with a strong sense that life moves on, that life is truly a cycle.  With all of it’s joys and sadnesses, it’s a cycle that keeps circling around. 

May we all share in only good things!

Avivah

Today my oldest two girls returned from four weeks away at camp.  They  had a marvelous time – I’m already tired from listening to so many stories and happenings, which I’m going to continue hearing about for the next six months, I’m sure (if my experience with our oldest dd last year is any indication)! 

I don’t think camp is a necessity – in fact, I think it’s a luxury – but it has been very beneficial to my kids so far.  They’ve gained new friends from all over the country, learned to interact with people who are very different from themselves, had fun experiences that I wouldn’t provide them with (like group canoeing, caving, mountain climbing, the opportunity to act in plays, etc), and have the confidence of knowing that they can be successful in that environment. 

So all of my kids are home again, after four quiet weeks of me and just five kids at home.  It’s nice to have everyone back, but a part of me is going to miss the slower pace of our days when there were fewer people to manage.  It’s not ambivalence so much as just appreciating the opportunity I had to more intensively spend time with the younger kids, without needing to balance the needs of the older kids simultaneously.

I’ve finished all of my son’s laundry from his time at camp, and tomorrow we’ll move on to washing all of the girls’ clothes!

Avivah

I mentioned that the van broke down a few evenings ago after overheating.  I was hoping it was a hole in a pipe from the radiator, since it was the same symptoms as a different van we owned a number of years ago, and the repair for that was just $80.  The next morning my husband was able to get it to the mechanic, who said it was the head gasket (in the engine).  That’s the kind of phrase that makes your heart sink to hear it – we had a blown head gasket with a small car we owned five years ago, and we sold it for scrap rather than put the money into repairing it.  

The initial repair estimate was for $1200.  I wasn’t exactly happy to hear that, but I was very grateful that it happened exactly when it did, not a day earlier (when I was in PA) or later (when we’d be in NJ) , not even a half hour later when my husband would have been stranded on the highway in a thunderstorm at midnight.  It could have been so, so much worse if it had happened in any of these scenarios.  Now it was just annoying and expensive.

A day later, we got the new estimate.  $1900.  And I still felt grateful, even though this is a serious bill for us.  It will end up being more by the time we’re done, because we asked him to check the status of the pipes or whatever else is in the engine area, and if advisable, we’ll have them replaced at the same time.  It might not seem like such a frugal thing for the queen of frugality (that’s me :)) to do, but I think it will be a good decision.

To fix the head gasket, which is a small and inexpensive part, they have to take apart the entire engine, and then put it back together.  That’s what makes it so expensive.   And I don’t want to have to do this again for some other little part that could break and require similar effort to repair.  So we’ll do what we can now to make it sure everything is running perfectly.

I’ve had a lot of inner peace about this whole thing.  No blaming anyone, or annoyance that I won’t have a vehicle for a week (that’s how long fixing it is estimated to take), or that now I have to spend money on this when I’m trying so hard to save in other areas, things that I’d all be usually feeling and working hard to reframe mentally.  I have a deep sense of it being a blessing, that I’m being tested financially with my van and this repair bill than with our health or something more directly affecting the kids.  It hasn’t been something I’ve thought about intellectually to convince myself of, it’s just something I instinctively feel.  Maybe because it coincided with my son coming home, and I feel so, so fortunate to have such a wonderful young man in our family.  So I’ve been thanking G-d for His kindness to us in this situation with a strong feeling of gratitude for all the blessings. 

Here’s another little blessing:  I bought a very well used double jogger on Monday, just two days before the van broke.  My husband thought it was unnecessary, but I told him that it would make walking with the kids much easier.  And now, just in time, I have a stroller that will enable me to comfortably get out with the kids, when usually the only option would be driving. Isn’t that perfect?

Avivah

Thursday night my newly turned 15 year old son returned from 3.5 weeks at a sleep away camp.  It is sooo nice to have him back home again!  The four kids who were awake (the baby had just gone to sleep before he came in) were so excited to greet him, and I couldn’t do more than say ‘hi’ to him for the first hour, they were so busy chattering to him about everything!

We were supposed to drive up to NJ to pick him up from his camp bus at noon, but at midnight the night before, my husband (who was already supposed to be home) called to tell me that our van broke down.  We were both very grateful that it didn’t happen the day before that, when I was out the entire day with the kids in PA, a hundred miles away.  But it still was a challenge since it’s our only vehicle, and we had no way to pick our son up!

The next morning I got busy on the phone, trying to figure out what our alternatives were.  I was able to get a message to my son that we would be late and not to worry.  My husband had a coworker who very generously offered the use of his car to us.  I don’t know how people are so giving!  We thought we would take him up on his offer, but then asked a sister in law living in NY if she could get him on her lunch break, and send him home on a bus from her area.  She very generously agreed, though it meant suddenly taking the time off from work and squeezing a lot of extra driving into her day. 

So it was late at night when he got into our city, but he’s finally home, and I’m loving having him around again.

Avivah

Today was my second son’s birthday – he turned 9.  He started the celebrations by having a sleepover at my inlaws (usually just done in the summer) several days ago, and came home the next morning with a bag of 90 pieces of bubble gum that they bought – just for him, he hastened to let me know.  What is it that makes a grandparent think that this would be a good idea??  It must be some hormonal shift that takes place when they become grandparents that overrides the logical and responsible part of the brain.   But ds has been very generous about sharing his windfall with his siblings.

So tonight my 7 yo dd decided to, as her now 9 yo brother informed me,  act like Violet Beauregard (I’m sure I spelled that wrong).   Violet is an obnoxious character in Roald Dahl’s book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who chews gum nonstop and puts her gum behind her ear each night when she goes to sleep, then wakes up in the morning and begins chewing the same piece again.  Lovely, hmm?

It seems when I sent this dd to brush her teeth, she decided to stick it behind her ear to keep it safe.  This wasn’t the greatest idea, since she has hair that goes almost to her waist and it was loosely cascading around her shoulders.  You can guess what the next thing someone came to run to tell me about was, right?  Yep.  It was stuck in her hair.  (If you’ve been reading my blog a while, you may remember that this same child managed to entangle lots of homemade Goop in her hair a year ago.)

The great thing about being a more experienced parent is that you’ve seen so many things that they don’t phase you so much.  So when I was notified about this, I just said, ‘oh’, and turned my head away so they didn’t see me smile.  There are some things I would get upset about, but this kind of thing is just not a big deal.  In fact, I thought it was funny.  So I got out the scissors, snipped it out, offered it to her and told her she was welcome to continue chewing it.  She took one look at the big hairy clump and burst out laughing.

If you’re wondering what is happening with the rest of that huge bag of gum, I don’t know.  I still haven’t decided how to deal with it.  On the positive side, ds has learned to blow bubbles as big as his head today – that’s what comes from having so much opportunity to practice in just three days.  Amazing, isn’t it? 😆

Avivah

I’ve had a busy two weeks, and I’ve been unable to get into my blog and share with you all the things I’ve wanted to.   I had some computer repair work done and all the cookies were wiped off of my computer (that included all the passwords into any site I frequent, including my own!).  Somehow, I didn’t have the right password and username to get onto my blog, and I kept getting the message that my email address didn’t exist so they couldn’t send me the necessary info.  I was so frustrated!

Fortunately tonight my website designer came to the rescue – it turns out she set up the username and password and she had a record of it.  It’s nice to be back!

Since all of my thoughts that I planned to share about consumerism, how to enjoy the holidays, affordable gift giving and more are too late to be relevant, I’ll just wish all of you a very happy New Year.  Here in my neighborhood, the fireworks have been going off for an hour already, and we still have a few minutes until midnight!  May the coming year be filled with good things for us all.

Avivah

Things have been much busier this summer than I ever expected!  I’ve had so much to write about but not made the time to post.

On the personal front, my oldest two children went to overnight camp in NY for a month (a last minute decision), and I drove up with the kids for visiting day last week.  They are having an amazing time and it’s so gratifying as a parent when you’re able to provide your children with special opportunities that they really appreciate.  Something funny happened when we visited dd, though I can’t say what the significance is.  She’s attending the same camp I went to 21 years ago, and out of the 18 bunks available, ended up in my old bunk (the bunk numbers have been changed so I didn’t realize it until I got there).  Ds8 noticed that lots of campers wrote their names on the bunk beds, and asked me if I wrote my name on mine.  I told him ‘no, I didn’t do that kind of thing’.  And even if I had, it’s been a long time since I was there, beds were moved out to other bunks, and it wouldn’t have been likely it would still be there.  Not even two minutes later, he told me, “Mommy, I found where it says your name!”  Even after he read it to me, I couldn’t believe it, but sure enough, someone else in my bunk at the time had written her name, followed by the names of three others (out of 10 or 12) who shared the bunk with her, and below it said ’86’.  And my name was one of those.  And guess which bed it was written on?  My daughter’s very bunk – out of the hundreds of bunk beds in the camp, she ended up sleeping in the only bed with her mother’s name on it!  Interesting, isn’t it? 

Then we were home for a day, and needed every minute of the time to get ready for the two day family vacation to a family amusement park/campgrounds in PA we went on next.  We never go to amusement parks, because I generally find them artificial, commercial, and wanted to wait until the kids were old enough to appreciate it and not become jaded.  This was a great time to go since the baby is 16 months, and the next child up is 5, and tall enough for most of the rides.   We got passes for the nighttime, which was good since there was a heat wave and I don’t know how much we would have enjoyed it if we had gone during the day.  The kids had an amazing time together – I manned the stroller, and dh went on the rides with the kids.  Even though I’ve always loved amusement parks (particularly roller coasters), I was satisfied to watch everyone from the sidelines this time.  Everyone had a great, great time.  The campsite was okay – not the kind of place we would go just to camp, but good as a convenient location to access the park from – and I learned my lesson from the last camping trip.  We got the site closest to the bathrooms and water, and that was really practical!  Trying to sleep on a camping cot and being 7.5 months pregnant was not fun or a successful experiment – I tend to not be a picky person, but in this case I was in so much pain (sciatica) that it took me over 20 minutes from the time I woke up until I could move my legs enough to get out of bed. I transferred to the passenger seat of the van after three hours, and just reclined it back.   I didn’t get much sleep, so later in the morning, when the kids were up and having breakfast, I crashed on the floor of the tent and slept soundly for a couple of hours before we went back into the park. 

 We got home from that on Thursday night, and then dh and I spent the weekend at home together without the kids – we usually go away but this time we’ve had so much travelling that it seemed more relaxing to stay put.  We spent all of Friday unpacking from the trip, packing the kids up for their time away, and trying to catch up on all the things waiting for us when we got home. 

On the business front, we’re having our new site built, as well as making changes to the business structure and product name.   The main reason I haven’t posted in so long is that the blog has also been transferred here, and I haven’t had the time to try to figure out how to post to the new site.   

But now I’ve done it and will be back to posting more regularly!

Avivah

I hope you all enjoyed your 4th of July! We had a nice day, though the fireworks display that I planned to take the kids to in the evening was rained out. It was my oldest son’s birthday, and we actually managed to surprise him with his birthday party! That was more than any of us expected.

My 12 year old daughter is the one who has become the planner and executer of the family parties. It has evolved into her role over time, probably because she really enjoys it and is so good at it. We don’t do big and fancy; we usually make a special meal and dessert for the person having the party, and we don’t always do it the day of the birthday, so the kids really don’t expect it. Some of the kids made him cards and bought him gifts (I rarely buy gifts), but the focus is really on celebrating the person by making them the center of attention, not by what we buy.

Dd usually gets frustrated trying to do everything and keep it a surprise, since it’s so hard with everyone walking in and out of the kitchen. I told her last time that she shouldn’t try to hard to keep people from seeing, since it makes them suspicious. So this time she just went about baking without saying anything even when her brother walked in and saw what she was making, and he didn’t suspect that it was for him!

Ds was working up in the attic doing spackling when the table was set and the cakes were ready, so I sent my 8yos to get him. He was so involved that he didn’t want to come down right away, but he did anyway. We borrowed a camcorder a few days before (what a great invention!) and dd10 caught him on camera when he came down, his hands full of spackling mud with his messiest work clothes on, as everyone started singing “Happy birthday”, not quite realizing for a minute what was going on.

Something else I try to do that doesn’t always work out, is to do some kind of special outing in honor of their birthdays. I don’t call it a birthday trip, but it’s one more nice thing that ties in to their special day. This year it was camping for ds5, we went out yesterday morning for ds14, and I’m planning another special trip to PA to coincide with dd10’s birthday in August. They were all trips I would have done anyway, but by doing them in conjuction with birthdays, it makes it more special for them.

Avivah

I hope all of you had a wonderful long weekend with your families!

We just got home from buying our new (to us!) van. Our current van has been faithful for years but is reaching the point that it feels like everything is starting to break down. If it was just small stuff, we would get it fixed, but when we saw the transmission starting to go, we didn’t feel it was worth it to fix the smaller things. It’s not gone yet, but backing up is a problem – I’ve learned to become aware of the slightest hills when parking, so that I can line up our van to take advantage of it and roll backwards downhill when I’m ready to go!

So I’ve been keeping my eyes open for used passenger vans that have the features that I want for the last few weeks (I didn’t want to wait until we were literally stuck with a van that wouldn’t go!), and spoke to someone yesterday who had what seemed like a good option. We went to see one van this morning, but the owner didn’t show! Fortunately, the van was there and we could determine by looking at it that it wasn’t for us, and the good part about him not being there was I didn’t need to tell him that I didn’t like it. A couple of hours later, we drove out to meet the person we bought this van from, and pretty quickly the money and paperwork changed hands. I told the kids what a good thing it was that so many things were going wrong with our old van, since now they appreciate all of the things that work in this one! (Things like an unbroken mirror, a driver’s door that opens and closes well…)

They especially love that this has a cassette player. We installed a cd player in our van, but we have lots of story and music cassettes that we can usually only listen to at home. They brought some cassettes with us when we went to go look at the van, in case we bought it, and it was so nice to have music that I don’t often get to listen to, but really enjoy while I was driving. They were also pleased that the seller gave them a basketball that was in the van – we recently got a basketball hoop for the backyard, but haven’t yet gotten a basketball. So they rushed out to try it out as soon as we got home. 🙂

We still need to install a third bench seat (it currently seats 8), but for right now, it’s fine since dh doesn’t usually go places with us. And by the time our yearly camping trip rolls around in a few weeks, I hope to have the additional seating in.

Avivah

Good morning! I’m up at the computer earlier than usual today, since ds1 woke up and the children who usually rush to get him the second they hear him peep are still sleeping. So today I get to enjoy him by myself. 🙂

Yesterday was a nice full day. We started off by doing yard work – it’s amazing how fast the grass grows when it’s warm outside!

In the past, ds13 has been the mower – since he mowed other people’s yard for pay and I drove him with his mower where he needed to go, it seemed like a fair deal for all involved. Yesterday, I decided to give someone else a turn at the fun, and dd10 was quite eager to have a go at it. She did it together with dd6, and the yard looks great. The trickiest part is not to run over the electric cord, since this year we are using an electric mower instead of a gas powered one. Dd12 trimmed all the bushes in the back, ds13 trimmed the bushes in the front, and then four of the younger kids pulled ivy and other weeds growing along the fence between us and the neighbor. Ds also pulled some poison ivy that was growing out of one of our ornamental plants. Hopefully we can keep it at bay, if not get rid of it.

The baseball games were great, as usual, and my weekly social opportunity to speak with other moms when neither of us are rushing to go anywhere (which nowadays is a hard thing to come by). Both boys hit home runs – they keep track of their batting averages for the season, and are very pleased with their how the season is going. It’s not a league that focuses on competition, but on having fun, which I really appreciate. But they still enjoy doing their best.

Grandma took the kids for slurpees after the game, so it was kind of late when we got home and started dinner. It was our monthly video night, too, and by the time we got the video started, it was 8:30 – after most of the kids are supposed to be in bed. That’s why the house is so quiet this morning. 🙂 The video was called Dusty (1987), and I was very pleased that it was so family friendly. We don’t watch anything more than PG, but even so, I still find it hard to find videos that meet our criterion – clean, positive, and enjoyable.

Today I’m going to take the girls shopping for the remaining ingredients they need to fill this week’s orders for cakes and side dishes. They offered cheesecake for the first time, so our family will benefit too, since they make for our family whatever they bake for their customers. You see, I’m not totally altruistic about supporting their entrepeneurial enterprises. 🙂

Have a great day!

Avivah