Monthly Archives: July 2011

Camping trip – day 1

frugal strategies, homeschooling, parenting

I’ve told you about preparing for our trip, now on to the fun of the trip itself!

The state park we went to is one that we’ve gone to three times before – the last time we went camping at a different state park that had some less than pleasant surprises, we agreed we’d go back to our favorite campsite in the future.  The park is called Greenbriar State Park, in Boonsboro, MD, about an hour and a half away.  One thing we especially like about this park is that there’s a beach for swimming and fishing, in addition to the hiking trails.

We usually choose the campsite closest to the path that leads to the lake, but since it was prime camping season when we went this time, our usual site would be in the middle of where everyone was walking.  We got there and told them we’d like to drive around and pick the site we liked before registering, and found a site we were really happy with.  The way the campgrounds are set up is like this:  in the center is a public bathroom.  Then in a ring around that are campsites, a ring around that is the road that people use to access the campsites, and then the final ring around it is campsites.

We chose a site that was across from the bathroom (important in the middle of the night, when it’s nice to have an easily followed path), but on the outer loop.  Even though there were a lot of people camping when we got there, the sites across from us and on each side of us were empty.  On one side of our site was a forested area, with a stream running through – the kids could explore this huge area and I was able to easily keep them in sight the entire time.  There was a path from there to the fishing part of the beach, and since the entire time we were there we only once saw people there, it was like our personal path and forest.  It really didn’t feel that different from when we’re the only people there!

The first thing we did when we got there was to set up both tents.  I had wanted to bring only one (keeping it simple!)  but the kids asked to take both, so I agreed on condition the site we chose had room for them.  I took ds2 for a walk to the lake while the older kids set up the tents – he was out of sorts from sleeping in the car and being woken up abruptly, so keeping him happily occupied made things more pleasant for everyone.  Ds3 and ds5 explored the stream and forest next to the site in the meantime, and then everyone collected firewood.

When I got back, the tents were up, the campfire was going, and a lot of the things unpacked.  I heard a distant rumble and asked the kids if they heard anything.  It was sunny and nice out, and they said they thought it was an airplane.  I wasn’t so sure, and when I heard the distant rumble again a couple of minutes later, I told them we needed to get the rain flys on the tents.  As they were putting it on, I was racing to get all the gear into the tent with the better rain cover, and put away all the food and supplies that had been unpacked.  Ds12 told me he didn’t see any point, that it wasn’t going to rain and if it did, it would take at least a half hour until it got there.  I told him we’d need it and to get it up fast; not even a minute later the wind started to blow and I warned the kids that a storm was coming fast – and within a minute of saying that, the rain started to pour.  (This was about five minutes from when the sky looked clear and the rumble had been so distant that we could hardly make it out.)

The rain fly on the main tent wasn’t fully on yet, but it mostly was so it stayed dry as ds12 and dd14 worked to get it totally on.  Then they put on the fly for the other tent – I told them to forget about it and come inside the first tent, but I think they were enjoying working in the pouring rain together.  🙂  We had started a campfire for dinner, planning to cook hamburgers, but our fire was quenched by the rain; even after the storm was over, the forest was soaked so there was no dry wood to be found.  So I brought sliced bread, butter, jam, and canned vegetables into the tent to have for dinner instead.

After the storm cleared, we decided to take a walk to the beach, so everyone got into their bathing suits (except me and dd14 – she no longer has a modest bathing suit that fits, and mine is a maternity one so I wasn’t going to wear that).  When we got to the beach, we were the only people there – they closed the beach for 90 minutes because of the storm, so all the day visitors who were there left.  We were the first ones on the beach after the beach reopened, and after that only two other families came (who were also camping there), so we each had our own spacious section of the beach to ourselves.  I hadn’t been sure we’d be able to go to the beach at all since it’s such a popular place in the summer, and not exactly filled with modestly clad people.  So this was really, really a nice bonus resulting from the storm.

We got out a few minutes before 9 pm and headed back to the campsite.  Since it was almost dark, I said it was time for bed.  But ds12 wanted to get the campfire started – he said it didn’t feel like a camping trip without a campfire – and the littles didn’t want to stay in the tent when they could hear the action all around them.  Dd10 figured out how to get the hurricane lamp working (the second lamp was defective), and between that and the electric lantern we had, we had some dim light at the campsite.

I started our new readaloud by Joan Aiken, The Serial Garden, which was easy to get into, and easy to see thanks to the camping headlight that I strapped to my forehead!  When it was just a few minutes to ten, I told ds12 he had four minutes to get the fire started and then it was bedtime for everyone.

Remarkably, after almost an hour of trying, he got it started in those few minutes, and we all sat around singing together.  (Every time we go camping, I think that we should make a booklet of songs that we like to sing that we could pass out, but I haven’t yet done that.)  After about an hour, I put the littles to bed (or should I say, to sleeping bag?), and went to sleep myself.  The kids had asked if I could stay in one tent with the littles so that they could have a ‘party’ tent, and I agreed.  I didn’t have a very restful night, since ds2 and ds3 kept waking up and being frightened since they didn’t know where they were, so I would quickly wake up each time to reassure them. I heard the middles and dd14 drying out their tent and then talking together until late into the night.

Avivah

Camping trip preparations

frugal strategies, homeschooling, parenting

We’re back from our fantastic camping trip!

Usually we go camping the first weekend after Memorial Day, when the season opens but no one is there yet so we have the campgrounds to ourselves.  This year that weekend coincided with the Torah Home Education Conference, and the following two weeks I was busy with lots of doctor and dental visits – and then it was in the prime of camping season with lots of people out, so we missed our chance.

But as we were talking about going through the garage and selling all the stuff in it, I was feeling like I really wanted to go camping one more time before we moved.  I asked dh about it, and he said he didn’t have any vacation days to use, so he couldn’t do it.  Last year no one wanted to go camping because they felt it would be so much work with the littles, but this year, the littles are 2, 3.5, and 5, which (in my opinion) makes the dynamic a bit easier.  Then again, we wouldn’t have the help of dh, ds18, or dd16 – in short, the most heavily involved organizers of past trips.  But I felt it would be a good opportunity for the middles to step up and into the roles of responsibility.  There’s also the bonding factor in camping that I wanted us to share before we move – we’ve noticed on past trips that there’s very little interpersonal friction when we’re camping; something about being in the outdoors all day and doing what you need to do consumes all of the available energy in a constructive way.

So I ran the idea of a trip on our own, with minimal preparation, by the kids.  All of the kids liked the idea, except for dd14.  She said we have so much to do to get ready to move that it would be too much pressure to pack for this trip, then have to unpack – just too much work.  I told her we’d keep it really simple (she was skeptical about this – she said I always say that!), but if she would rather stay home, it was fine with me.  She opted to come along.

The check-in time for the state park we chose was at 3 pm, so I figured we’d leave at 1 pm.  We started preparing for the trip that morning, since dh had worked late on Sunday night and we didn’t have the car to pack into.

Camping gear – So Monday morning, we pulled out two tents, seven sleeping bags, and three camping pads from the garage.  I told the kids if we didn’t have something, we’d have to manage without it – we were short a sleeping bag, so I said the three littles could share two sleeping bags between them (two sleeping bags can zip together to create a double size sleeping bag). They took out the camping stove and a few bottles of propane, which ds then checked – all empty.  They told me we could exchange it at Walmart – but I said, nope, we’re keeping it simple and I’m not making an extra trip.  Then they said the campground might be able to exchange them (the one we went to last time did), so we took the empties along.  Turned out this campground didn’t sell propane, so we did all of our cooking directly over the campfire.  Most of the flashlights and lanterns needed batteries, so we didn’t take them since….. right, keeping things simple.  We took along a couple of hurricane lamps and torch fuel instead.  I told the kids if we couldn’t work out the light situation, we’d go to sleep when it got dark, and manage with the light of the moon and whatever shone out from the public bathroom.

Food – Packing food for the trip was super simple – I went to my pantry and started pulling down jars and cans – home canned cherries, mandarin oranges, pineapple, home canned butter and jams, pickles, corn, green beans, pickle relish, ketchup, mustard, oats, sucanat.  Then to the freezer – bagels, hot dog and hamburger buns, bagels, sliced bread, cottage cheese, sour cream, hot dogs, and ground beef.  And then we took some cukes and tomatoes from the fridge – and that was it, except for a trip to the store for smores fixings – which I don’t keep around the house. (Breakfast – fruit, oatmeal, milk/cottage cheese; lunch – sandwiches with butter and jam, cukes and tomatoes; dinner – hot dogs or hamburgers with corn, green beans.)

Clothing – I told everyone to take one outfit in addition to what they were wearing, and a bathing suit.  Since it’s July, I didn’t think sweatshirts would be necessary.

Misc supplies – matches, dish soap, large bucket (for hauling water), garbage bags, can openers, paper plates, plastic cups, and silverware.

Fun stuff – since we didn’t have three family members with us, we were able to take out the front bench in the van.  This gave us more space than usual, so we were able to take along two adult bikes and helmets.  We took three pairs of roller blades, two fishing rods and tackle, and a big floaty toy in case we went to the beach.  We took along two books so we’d have something to choose from for a read aloud.

Adopting the attitude of managing with what we had kept the preparations simple and low stress.  Usually I’d go out to buy everything we’d need, and have an impeccable detailed list of things to take, and that feels kind of stressful.  We cut out all the pressure by adopting the attitude that we’d manage with what we had.  This is an attitude that in general that makes life easier, but when on a family trip, is especially valuable since you could easily otherwise get irritated about not having what you want with you!  And for us, this trip wouldn’t have happened without this attitude, because I would have felt too overwhelmed with all that I’m already doing to have taken on planning for a family trip as well.  🙂

Avivah

How we found an apartment in Israel

aliyah
Last week I explained why we bought an apartment before moving to Israel.  The next question people have been asking is, logistically how did we do it?

Here’s what I started with: since I’ve never been to Karmiel, it’s totally unfamiliar to me.  I didn’t know anything about the different neighborhoods, so I began by by speaking to people living there to get a sense of where we would be most comfortable.  Once I did that, I studied the map of Karmiel on Google maps repeatedly to get an idea of what was located where.  I looked online at Israeli real estate sites to get an idea of prices in the different neighborhoods, and checked each listing against the Google map to get a sense of what streets were in what neighborhood.  I connected with a real estate agent there as my direct contact.

From speaking to people living there, we decided we wanted to be in a particular neighborhood of Karmiel (Dromit area) for several reasons – primarily that it’s centrally located and a car isn’t necessary, it’s walking distance to shopping and schools.  This means it’s more likely to be easy walking distance for the kids to visit potential friends, since convenient schools are a draw for many.  It’s also where the new shul that was started this year by an Anglo rabbi is.  Though I don’t know if this is the synagogue we’ll attend or not – when we get there we’ll see where we feel most comfortable – that will be an attraction for most Anglos considering Karmiel and I anticipate this is the area that will be the most popular for Anglos (already the bulk of Anglos in our peer group live here).

Somewhere along the way I spoke to a real estate lawyer and a mortgage broker in Israel, to know what was involved legally and financially.  As we went through the housing search, we ended up finding a different mortgage broker who was more in tune with our needs and abilities.  The first person was very nice, but his niche was people buying expensive apartments – over 1.5 million shekels – who had substantial funding and help from family members.  Totally not our reality and when I was almost ready to give up on being able to buy anything, we were directed to the broker we ended up using.

I looked at the listings of available properties online, then narrowed what I was interested in to two of them; I asked my daughter studying there to take a look at them for us.  She took pictures for us – if she couldn’t have done this, I would have asked the real estate agent to send me digital photos.  Pictures are nice but it’s still not the same as being able to walk down the street, into the building, and around the apartment.  But that was okay.

We made our decision based on some very basic criteria:  it’s a nice size (larger apartments are harder to find), in the right neighborhood, and in our budget.

We hired a contractor to give us a report of the apartment before signing anything; our main concern was there was something major that was wrong that we wouldn’t know about until it was too late; he said it’s very well-built.  Houses this size are going for at least five hundred thousand shekels more, and most apartments are significantly smaller, so we were very glad to find this.

In order to sign the contract, we gave power of attorney to someone there.  We had to get a specific power of attorney by the bank issuing the mortgage notarized at the Israeli embassy, and could only do this once we had a specific property lined up.

If we would have been unwilling to buy anything unless it were our dream home, we wouldn’t have found anything.  But we were looking for basically suitable – something that would be a solid foundation to land in.  With Hashem’s amazing assistance, that’s what we found, and with Hashem’s continued help, it will become our dream home because it’s where our family will make our home together.

Avivah

Woman threatened with jail due to front yard garden

gardening

This is a story I’ve been wanting to share with you when it first began several weeks ago – particularly as it is happening to one of my regular blog readers and commenters, who we’ve had the pleasure of hosting for a holiday meal and whose daughter visited dd16 a few weeks ago.  I’m embarrassed that it’s taken me until now to share about it with you, but with all that’s going on around here, everything is taking me longer than usual to get to it. 🙂 

Julie is a homeschooling mom of 6 who decided to grow some vegetables in her front yard after her yard was ripped up as a result of sewer repair.  She had raised beds built, and mulched the paths around – it’s an attractive and tidy looking garden.  So what’s the big deal?  That what she’s growing in those raised beds are vegetables, not flowers.  When I told my kids about this, they couldn’t understand what the big deal was – when I told her she is going to fight this in court and faces more than 90 days in jail as a result of growing vegetables on her own property, within the legal guidelines of her city, they were horrified.  As we should all be.

Here’s a recent news report – this story is getting bigger by the minute and I expect to hear the major talk show hosts talking about it in the coming week.  To read more details, visit her blog at http://oakparkhatesveggies.wordpress.com/ and see what you can do to lend your support. 

It’s a travesty that our government wastes tax payer dollars persecuting people doing good things, when there are cities filled with criminals and major issues needing to be dealt with.  Kudos to Julie for not giving up and not giving in!  It takes a lot of moral strength to stand up for your rights; people are very quick to give in and give up on what is theirs and say it’s not worth fighting for.  I hope the city representatives back down and see what an embarrassment they’ve created for themselves – after all, the President’s wife planted vegetables in the front yard of the White House!  And now they want to prosecute someone for doing the same thing somewhere else in the country?  Absolutely ridiculous.

Avivah

Not at camp…and loving it!

homeschooling, parenting

“Are your kids going to camp this summer?”

No, they aren’t.  In the past few years, we’ve usually had one or two the older kids going to camp for two – four weeks, but this is the first year in the last five that no one is going at all.  I enjoy having my kids home and we’re used to spending time together, and though it can be initially be difficult for parents and children who are used to a lot of time apart to suddenly find themselves together all day, spending the summer together doesn’t raise my blood pressure. 🙂  Though the kids enjoy camp, they enjoy being home as well, so it’s not as if being home for the summer is an exercise in deprivation.

I’m not in any way against sending kids to camp, as long as: a) they are old enough for it to be a positive experience; b) the atmosphere is a positive one; and c) I can afford it. 

Today I was thinking today how nice it is now that the kids’ friends are all in camp and I don’t have the constant distractions that pull us in different directions.   Very recently I was disturbed to notice that my kids (the middles) were enjoying being with their friends more than their siblings.  I consider this to be upside-down, and it’s something I’m working on straightening out.  The last few days have been wonderful and I’m feeling very good about seeing things shift back to how they should be. 

Today was a good example of how spending time together in a relaxed family framework is enjoyable.   We started our day by heading to the county fair; dd14 asked me if we could go this year since it will be our last time; it was a big part of her life when she was in 4H (as well as for dd16), and there are a lot of really nice memories they’ve had of being part of that experience.  Despite the heat, we all enjoyed it. 

An NRA representative had a booth there and I paid a very minimal sum for dd10 and ds12 to  do some shooting with an air rifle (after getting some gun safety instruction).  Dd14 wanted to do some shooting but then noticed the male instructor was touching people on the arm to guide them so she decided to pass on it.  Ds12 and dd10 did great  – their accuracy went up very fast, and ds12 was invited to join their shooting club in January.  I don’t know if it was his obvious interest or how quickly his accuracy improved,  but whatever it was, if we would be living here, I would have tried to facilitate that, but obviously that won’t be an option.  🙂 

Ds12 noticed a booth where you throw a ball and if you hit the target, it drops water balloons on the head of the volunteer manning the booth, and told me he thought ds3 and ds5 would enjoy it.  So I bought a ticket with three throws; ds5 threw it first and since it totally missed the entire target area, got another chance (he was standing far back where adults throw from, not close up like younger children).  He missed, but then ds3 threw it and it shockingly hit the target, but lightly so only one water balloon dropped out – but he was thrilled anyway!  Then ds12, the best baseball player in his entire league (no exaggeration, just being descriptive – he set a record) threw his ball, and was totally embarrassed to miss by a wide shot! 

When ds5 ran to pick the ball up, he started to throw it again (not realizing that you had to pay for every throw), and the volunteer let him.  He hit the target but when the water balloons dropped out, they didn’t break!  So the volunteer told ds5 to throw the balloon directly at him.  He did, but it still didn’t break.  Then the volunteer threw it to ds5 (it didn’t break), ds5 threw it back – and at that point, ds took matters into his own hands by running over to the target and hitting it hard so that the balloons dropped out hard and finally soaked the volunteer.  Everyone there was laughing at the absurdity of unbreakable water balloons, and ds3 and ds5 loved it!  I hope that’s one of those nice memories that they’ll have even when they are much older. 

The three littles received balloon creations of their choosing made by the balloon clown artist there, and we toured all the exhibits.  One exhibit was to name all the raw vegetables in a large bowl, then match them up to the processed products in cans.  The women in charge of the booth were very impressed that ds5 recognized every vegetable there – they said he was the first one of the day, including adults!  Which is kind of pathetic, really, since the vegetables weren’t so rare.  (Cabbage, beets, carrots, corn, cucumbers, peppers, zucchini, yellow squash, tomatoes, green beans, peas, onions, and maybe a couple of other things.) 

The older kids enjoyed the goat show (dd14 found it most interesting since years ago she competed in sheep shows so she’s familiar with what’s involved), and the littles enjoyed seeing all the farm animals.  After our experience raising ducks last summer, viewing the adult ducks there was particularly interesting – dd10 noticed two ducks that were the same breeds we started with – a Swedish blue and Rouen.

When we left, I asked the kids to vote on going home or going to a park a few miles away.  (We had very quickly packed some food for lunch just in case we were out longer than planned- ds12 at my bequest grabbed a couple of loaves of bread from the freezer, two jars of canned butter, and two jars of jam -so we had the flexibility to change plans on the spur of the moment since we didn’t have to go home for lunch.) They all voted on the park, and we got there in the heat of the day.

We parked ourselves under the shade of some trees and started our picnic, and while we ate the only other family there left.  So we had the entire place to ourselves, and the kids had a great time together.  It was very relaxing for me, too.  We fortunately brought a lot of water with us, as well as a place to refill it, which was critical since it was really hot (did I mention that already? :))  We stayed for about three hours before finally heading home, and by that time it was just about time to get ready for dinner!

Avivah

Buying a home before moving to Israel

aliyah

>>I have a question re: your aliyah to Karmiel . . . Did you buy a place?  I am asking because I spoke to a realtor, who mentioned a large family from the States that just bought; I am speculating that this is you.  If so, I would greatly appreciate some information about your purchase process. We’re getting a lot of mixed eitzah (advice) on this. Lots of warnings against, notwithstanding the fact of a really tight rental market. Not sure what to do.<<

Yes, we did buy an apartment.  Buying in a place one hasn’t yet lived in (or even visited) is unusual, so I’ll share what we did and why. 

The Israeli real estate market is the third hottest in the world.  Prices are going up constantly because there’s simply not enough housing.  The purchase prices in Karmiel have gone up about 25% in the last six months, and I believe they will continue rising steadily for a number of reasons.  Though the traditional advice to those making aliyah is to rent for at least a year before buying anything, I didn’t feel this was the best way for us to go. 

Firstly, in a year the purchase price in all likelihood would be higher, and in a year our money wouldn’t go as far.  (As it is, a year ago we could have bought a house or very nicely renovated large apartment for what we’re paying now.)  We were able to qualify for a purchase based on our current income; I don’t know when my husband will find a job in Israel and how much he’ll make once he does.  Due to our family size and the regulations governing how much you have to make, we’d have to make an additional 1000 shekels a month per child in addition to the amount we’d need to make for qualifying for the loan, we’d be looking at a monthly income that would be extremely high and more typical of two high earning spouses combined.  Not having that kind of income would necessitate getting co-signers for the loan, something I wanted to avoid.

Since the majority of apartments for rent are 2 or 3 bedrooms or large houses, it’s not easy to find a rental for a family our size, and not easy to find someone who wants to rent to a family our size.  (Actually, right now it’s not easy to find a rental in Karmiel, period.)  My kids will have enough transitions without having to make another move in the near future by leaving a starter rental for something else – I really wanted to start off in our own home to give them an added sense of stability.  And I didn’t want the pressure of worrying how much our rent would increase when it was time to re-sign the lease in a year.  (Rental prices have risen quite a bit recently, as well.)

I understand why the advice is given to rent for a year – to give people a chance to decide where they want to live and not burden them with home ownership.  Our experience as tenants in all the homes that we’ve lived in but one was that when something went wrong, we had to deal with it even when it wasn’t officially our responsibility.  To me, renting (in this scenario, not always) felt like all of the stresses with none of the benefits of home ownership, along with the additional pressures of renting.  
 
I anticipate that Karmiel is going to become a much more popular place to live – I may be wrong and we’ll be happy living there as it is – but that feeling gave me a push to move forward now while we had the chance.  What we did was very unusual, but it was very much a move based on looking forward rather than waiting for the future to hit us in the face.   This isn’t the right approach to everyone – but we feel it will simplify our aliyah process by allowing us to focus on starting our new life.
 
Avivah

Flute lessons

frugal strategies, homeschooling

Three years ago, three of my children began taking piano lessons.  This year, dd16 was in Israel and dd10 started, so it was still three children but with a little bit of switching.  Two weeks ago, dd14, ds12, and dd10 had their final piano recital.  Every Sunday morning for years, three kids have one after another had their lessons at the beginning of the day; it’s been part of our routine and we’ve watched them progress in ability and skill.  The recital was lovely, as always, and there was the added poignancy of knowing this stage is coming to an end.   

I’ve been so grateful that my children have had a chance to have these lessons.  I love music and being able to play adds an extra dimension of enjoyment to experiencing music.  I didn’t feel piano was the right instrument for ds9, so last year he took violin lessons for a period of time, but we didn’t continue when the summer began.  (Tomorrow he’ll begin art lessons – drawing is something he really enjoys.)   Dd16 took guitar lessons this year while in Israel – she didn’t mind piano but it wasn’t something she was passionate about – she enjoyed guitar much more. 

After the recital, I was talking to an adult neighbor who recently began taking piano lessons with the same teacher as my children.  She mentioned that she also plays flute, and that she had recently started giving lessons.  As we were chatting, she made the very generous offer to give any of my children who are interested lessons – for free – until we move.  Isn’t that amazingly generous of her? 

Though more than one child expressed interest in taking flute lessons, there was only one child who I felt should really, really do this – dd14.  And she was the one whose eyes lit up when I mentioned it.   To me, the flute is an instrument that matches her personality; it’s such a gift for her to have this opportunity now. 

 Her 15th birthday is coming up in a month, and as a slightly early birthday gift, we bought her a flute.  Though it would have been less expensive to rent a flute for such a short time, I wanted her to have her own instrument to support her interest.  The flute is a very compact instrument, and she can easily take it along when we move. 

We were fortunate to find a nice quality flute and case on Craigslist for $75.  Her teacher looked at it today and told her it’s silver-plated; I just assumed it was nickel because that’s the less expensive kind.  It’s nice when you get an even better deal than you expected! 

 Her first lesson was today, and both she and our neighbor enjoyed it very much – so much that the teacher suggested that they continue with lessons via Skype!  Wouldn’t that be nice if that worked out?  Regardless of how long this continues or if this ends up being an instrument that dd advances with or not, I’m so glad she’ll have this opportunity this summer, and I am once again amazed at the blessings that Hashem is constantly sending our way!

Avivah

Why Karmiel?

aliyah, homeschooling, parenting

“I am just curious…why did you choose Karmiel?”

I haven’t ever visited Karmiel, so everything that I’ll share is based on impressions gleaned from others.  I spent quite a bit of time thinking about the factors I felt would be most conducive to a positive transition for all of our family members to Israeli living, in the short and long term, before deciding on a community.  The main factors were were: religious environment, social environment, and affordability.  And basically Karmiel was the community that best met my criteria.

Religious environment – The charedi (religiously conservative) communities tend to be heavily into conformity and this can be particularly hard for Anglo teens who are used to a more open and accepting kind of environment to adjust to.  I don’t believe forcing observance on kids is an effective approach, and I personally try to help them see meaning in a Torah way of life and a relationship with Hashem (G-d).  I was concerned that putting my children in a community where there is so much importance placed on external conformity might religiously be a turn-off and move them away from our values rather than towards them.

My impression of Karmiel is that the definition of charedi also is more inclusive there, and that in general there’s more acceptance for people of all religious levels.  Being in a more relaxed environment allows people to find their place rather than having it forced on them.  While I know how unusual homeschooling is in Israel, and expect to frequently be asked about it (which doesn’t threaten or bother me), I didn’t want to put our family in a framework where we could expect to be looked down upon, if not ostracized, from the get-go.  The community I used to live in would be such a place – when I visited in February, someone asked me about homeschooling, and mentioned that I could never do it if I lived there; after all, it’s not ‘mekubal’ (accepted).  That’s the mentality that I refer to wanting to avoid – if something is ‘not done’, then it’s simply not done and that in and of itself is justification for not exploring an option any further.  In a place like that, a family who does what ‘isn’t done’ may be seriously putting themselves at risk for being viewed as very much ‘less than’.

Karmiel has a small charedi community; many of the Israeli families there are connected with the kollel, which has a strong outreach component.  The relationships between the charedi and secular Jews there seems to be positive, something that isn’t typical in Israel (where groups tend to polarize religiously).  This is something I appreciate and value.

Social environment – there are two main components that I was concerned with:  a) integration; b) feeling of connection to others.

It’s really nice in some ways to move to a heavily Anglo area where there are lots of people who speak your language and have the same social references and expectations that you do.  The problem is, it can very easily become a crutch.  Dd14 was recently speaking to a friend who moved to Israel two years ago, and asked her how her spoken Hebrew is.  The girl told her she doesn’t speak Hebrew – her parents and all of her friends speak English, so despite being in a Hebrew-speaking school, she doesn’t need to learn it to get along.  I don’t think this is uncommon and it’s certainly not a criticism, just a reflection of what can easily happen – people don’t need to stretch too far outside of their comfort zones.

Since I want my children to be able to integrate into Israeli society, it was important to put them in an environment that would support them in that – so we’re avoiding the Anglo bubble communities.  (Lest anyone think I think Anglo communities are a bad thing – I don’t.  I definitely understand the appeal, and for some people it’s absolutely the best place for them.  But for us it wasn’t what I was looking for. )  Although initially it’s not easy when you don’t speak the language and aren’t easily understood by those around you, it pushes you to try your best and to improve your command of the language, even if you feel uncomfortable.

At the same time, I didn’t want to be a community with no Anglo presence.  Whether people will criticize this or not, the fact is that most of us share cultural references based on how and where we were raised, and it’s nice to be with those who understand your points of reference.  There are a small number of Anglo families, and I expect this number to grow – Anglos tend to not want to move to a community until there’s a critical mass of other Anglos.  (We experienced this in Beitar, where we were one of the earlier English speaking families there.)

When I looked back at the places we’ve lived that we’ve been happiest and why, I saw that we especially appreciated being part of a newly growing community.  Karmiel is at this stage now.  When a community is smaller, you don’t assume someone else is doing something and you’re not needed – there’s not only room for someone to step up and get involved, but it’s encouraged.   You feel needed, that your presence matters to your community.  Since we aren’t moving to a place where we already have a big support network established, I felt it would be good for all of us to be in a place where we could more quickly build our connections, and connections are more quickly established when people are working harder to connect with each other in the framework of a smaller and more personal community.  An Israeli rav from Haifa visited Baltimore recently and after learning that we were moving to Karmiel, told us that the rav of the city would be delighted that our family was moving there.  So if our presence would be welcomed by the Israeli charedi community, it stands to reason that the English speaking community, which is much smaller, would appreciate it.

Everyone needs to matter, and that includes kids.  It’s hard to move to a large community with lots of English speakers and feel that no one really notices you’re there.  Dd14 will increase the English speaking population of her high school by 25% when she comes, and the other girl in the tenth grade who speaks English is excited about her coming!   I hope that it will make it easier for the kids to make friends, as well.

Affordability – I can’t say that anywhere in Israel is cheap – it’s really a question of what’s less unaffordable!  🙂  In all seriousness, rents are high and we felt it prudent to choose an area where the cost of housing would be on the lower side.  The north of Israel is significantly less expensive to live in than the center of the country, and you get ‘more bang for your buck’.  At the same time, there’s more natural beauty, greenery, and housing is more spread out.  Though I definitely enjoy the conveniences of city living, natural beauty enhances my sense of spiritual connection and serenity.  It’s a calmer feeling than living in the city, and I prefer to raise my children in that environment than in the bustling city.

If there’s an aspect that I didn’t address that you’d like me to answer, please ask!

Avivah

Tip for organizing puzzles

homemaking

Years ago I used to get frustrated when somehow several puzzles would all get dumped out on the floor, and I’d spent a huge amount of time painstakingly separating them.  One day I had a brainstorm, and from that day on I never had an issue again.

As soon as I bought a puzzle, I would turn over all of the pieces and mark the back of each with either a colored marker (eg red) or the same number (eg 1).  The next puzzle would be marked with a different color marker (eg blue) or the next number (eg 2). And so on, and so forth.  (I found markers easier because within about a half a minute I could mark the back of all the pieces, and writing the numbers down took a little longer.  But when you have more puzzles than colors in your collection of markers, you have to move to something else since if two puzzles shared the same color markings, it would no longer be helpful.

Then, the next time puzzles would end up getting jumbled, I could quickly sort through them by glancing at the ‘key’ on the back of them.  And it was easy for me to get the kids to help with this as well (who were all young at the time and asking them to independently sort would have been beyond their ability).

Avivah