Lately I’ve been thinking constantly about schools – primarily, I keep asking myself, what’s so good about them that justifies keeping my kids there for next year?
This past week we had all the things that people use as an example of how great schools are – school trips for a couple of kids, a major school performance for another one, and a school birthday party for another. I feel like I should be glowing over how lucky they are to have these experiences.
But I don’t. While I’m grateful for everything positive that they experience, I’m ambivalent. Because I know that despite good schools staffed with good and caring people, there are so many wasted hours at school and so little that is being learned, that the social structure is unhealthy and not supportive of developing strong social skills and abilities (unless you consider the ability to conform to be an important skill). I sat there watching the two hour performance of dd11’s grade, and I’m sure I was the only one in the large audience who was analyzing the value of being part of something like this against the much richer life that homeschooling offers, rather than just enjoying the experience.
I’m grateful for the school trips. Since we don’t have a car now, traveling with our family has become an expensive and limited experience, so we stick with local outings around town. I’m glad the kids can go to these fun places, especially since right now we can’t take them on those trips. And it’s especially nice when the trips are included as part of the tuition that is already being paid.
So here are my conclusions about why to keep kids in school: they’ll probably learn to speak Hebrew more easily; they have more access to same aged kids (though this is no guarantee of meaningful friendships); they sometimes have redeeming activities like the above. It’s legally and logistically easier for me. And I ask myself a few times a day, do these things justify keeping my children in an institutional framework that I believe to be inherently stifling to the spirit and to healthy emotional development?
(To be clear, my concerns are with schools in general, and this isn’t specific to our local schools. I think our local schools are quite good as far as things go, and am so appreciative for the warm and caring staffs at the religious schools our children attend. But schools are based on a framework that inherently is flawed and encourages mediocrity.)
I read this article a week or so ago out loud to dd15, and after hearing the list of things that students learn in a regular classroom, she said to me, “That is so true. Every single thing you read is so true.” Then she went through point by point and gave me an example of how she sees this in school. In case you’re wondering what we were discussing, here are some of the points that author Tess Bomac (who wrote about why she is leaving teaching to homeschool her child) made:
- “The rules are always changing, and since you never know when the teacher is going to enforce them, try to get away with as much as you can until she starts screaming. Then blame your neighbor.
- You don’t need to think about your education. The teacher will decide what you should learn, you’ll do the things that she decides matter, then she’ll give you a grade that represents how well you can follow arbitrary directions.
- While the teacher can make mistakes and move deadlines all the time, you will be penalized if you misunderstand the directions.
- Almost everything you learn is a measure of your docility, not your intelligence or your effort.
- Working with others is more important than learning actual content. Group projects, no matter how unfair, inefficient, and tedious are here to stay, and if you complain about it taking 10 hours out of class to make a collage that demonstrates 15-minutes worth of learning, tough. Life isn’t fair.
- Life isn’t fair, so thus it is okay for me to be unfair.
- Don’t question textbooks, even though most of them are riddled with errors and omissions.
- Learning is for school, school is painfully monotonous, so learning must be boring, too.
- Learning is for school, so once the day ends, you’re free to do whatever you find fun.
- Learning can only take place in hard plastic desks, in crowded classrooms, while being told exactly what to do.
- Nothing is more important than fitting in. If you don’t fit in, there must be something wrong with you. Maybe you should buy some more accessories? Try a different hair style?
- Reading in school? Are you crazy? We have to get ready for the state tests!”
That last point brings up something that happened today. One of the kids brought home a test that she was told she needs to take (she hasn’t yet had to take any tests because her comprehension isn’t up for that.) I had gotten a note from the school saying that this was an important school-wide test and everyone should urge their child to study hard so they’d do well. Her tutor took her out for two periods and went over the actual test with her, and gave her a copy to take home to study.
Since it’s all in Hebrew, dd11 doesn’t understand what’s written well-enough to read it and answer on her own, even though she knows the material. No problem – the test is multiple choice and so she’s memorizing the order of the answers for the twenty four questions. And not only that, but at least a couple of other kids from English speaking homes (who came a couple of years ago and are now fluent in Hebrew) were given the same test to take home to ‘study’, and they’re doing the same thing.
Dd asked me before she started memorizing if this was cheating, that she didn’t feel right about it. I told her it seems this is what the administration wants of her, so though it’s not meaningful learning, it doesn’t seem dishonest. But what kind of message is this about the value of education?? It’s crystal clear to her and all the rest of our kids watching this that this isn’t about her learning or understanding, and that whatever the purpose of this test is, it’s incidental to her.
As much as I’d love to homeschool all the kids under the age of 13, I seem to be in limbo about making a decision for next year. To a degree, that’s reasonable – I need to see how things go for the kids as they finish this year before drawing conclusions for next year. And it would certainly be easier in a number of ways to leave them in school, particularly as they seem to pretty much be doing fine – I keep telling myself, as long as the schools do no harm, then it is enough. But when I think of all the positive messages they could be getting by homeschooling, the emotional development and maturity that is supported without the external negative messages and pressures that need to be countered, the knowledge and skills they could acquire….my heart pulls at me.
So right now I have the discomfort of being in a place of indecision. Last week I made the decision that they’d definitely homeschool. Two nights ago I made the decision to leave them in school. There are some cultural realities here that I haven’t mentally resolved which are making this difficult, and I don’t feel much certainty right now!
You know what my only consolation is? I really come back to this one again and again. That the school day here is short so there’s still a good amount of time when they get home. And that most of the kids will have a nice long summer vacation.
Avivah
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