“You may have to help some people out now that the whole country will have to homeschool.” This was the first message I got, minutes after the announcement that schools would be closed was made.

Since then, I’ve been seeing lots of social media postings and receiving queries. As a veteran homeschooling mom of 19 years, I knew that the first days would be a flurry of unrealistic schedules guaranteed to exhaust everyone. I also knew that after a day or two of the schedule, parents would be ready to throw in the towel.

Unless you find it a comforting and relaxing term, stop saying that you’re homeschooling. You aren’t automatically homeschooling when your kids are at home instead of in school. You don’t say you’re homeschooling when it’s spring break or summer vacation. This is the same thing – they are having an extended school vacation, albeit unplanned and unexpected.

You know why the term you use matter? Because it determines what you expect of yourselves, and at a time when you have much more stress and pressure than usual, please don’t add to it by thinking you should be homeschooling on top of everything else. Really. Let the homeschooling thing go.

If you are one of many trying to get your kids onto their online classes, trying to fit it all in and juggles screen time for more than one child is likely to add tremendously to your stress. Use the online classes or assignments that your children may have been sent from teachers only if it adds to everyone’s general calm and contentment. My eight grader loves getting onto his WhatsApp class but he also doesn’t feel he has to do every single one, and when he misses one it’s no big deal.

The online classes and assignments are intended to be supportive; consider them a suggestion, not a requirement. Hopefully the administration of your child’s school sees this the same way, but they are also trying to figure this out in a very short time and will need time to find their balance.

If you think it’s fun to play math games with your kids, go ahead. But your focus should be on helping everyone adjust to being at home together all day. Look for what sparks joy. If something doesn’t sound appealing for you or your kids, don’t do it. There are plenty of other things to do.

If you feel like it’s only been a few days and you’re already ready to rip out your hair, take a deep breath. No matter how inadequate you may be feeling in the moment, you’re doing fine. You’ve been thrown into the deep end of a pool and shouldn’t expect yourself to be an expert swimmer as soon as you hit the water.

After letting go of unrealistic expectations and being kind to yourself, my next suggestion is this:

• Menu plan – you’re going to be cooking much more than you’re used to and you may be astonished how much kids who are home can eat! You and the kids will all be much more relaxed when mealtimes are regular and predictable. (I have dozens of weekly menu plans in my menu plan category.)

Seriously, this is really, really important. It doesn’t matter how simple or boring the meals are, just make it regular. Do this and it will feel like your home is functional. Don’t do this, and you’ll want to scream at the next person who tells you they’re hungry and asks you what there is to eat!

I’ll be sharing more thoughts in future posts, and am happy to respond to specific questions. I also have hundreds of posts in the homeschooling category of my archives that answer many, many specific questions about what/how/why of homeschooling and parenting. Feel free to browse that, looking at earlier posts first, to get some encouragement and practical suggestions.

Avivah