I went to the post office to pick up a package, the three youngest kids in tow because they were once again home from school due to the ballistic missiles sent by Iran the night before.
Israel recently lowered its limit of what can be ordered overseas without incurring import taxes, from $130 to $75. The clerk told me that many thousands of packages were already in transit when the law went into effect, and people facing much higher fees for their packages than anticipated are stressed. (For perspective, I ordered something that same day the new law went into effect, hours before it was announced – my $165 order would be $242 after the law changed, $77 more. That’s just one order for one person.)
She talked about the pressure people are feeling. While this law change may seem like a relatively small thing, when someone is under pressure, the little things don’t feel little. At some point, everything begins to feel overwhelming.
I see the stress in personal interactions, like the seamstress last week who picked several new items that I needed altered and told me she’d do it right away. Four days later, when I asked about picking up my clothing, she sent me a message about how impatient I am.
It doesn’t take a lot to stress someone who is already maxxed out. Everyone is holding a lot inside.
I recognize this in myself, too. I’m not snapping and insulting others, but I do feel pressure. I’ve been running nonstop to get a tremendous amount of appointments taken care of; I’ve done the bulk of them and that’s a relief. But I feel like the rubber band that stretched and stretched, until it snapped – now I am so deeply exhausted that walking outside to give the dog her food feels like too much work.
I often remind my adult and teen children not to push too hard, to give themselves margin, to take pressure off of themselves, and to take time for renewal. I try to be conscious about taking time to recharge, but the usual things I do to keep myself balanced haven’t been sufficient for this season of high demands. I’m resting enough, I’m going to sleep at a reasonable time of night. So why is my energy so low?
Today I realized – my thoughts are working against me.
When I keep my thoughts positive and optimistic, I have energy for everything I need to do, and even when it’s really busy, it doesn’t feel like too much. Often I start my day with meditations and affirmations, but in recent weeks, I haven’t been doing that. As I’ve reduced the intentional seeding of positive thoughts, external pressures feel much heavier and facing the day with a smile has gotten harder. I’ve regularly caught myself thinking, “This is too much.”
Life is constantly changing, and to stay emotionally balanced, a person constantly needs to be reevaluating; what worked in the past doesn’t always work now, and needs to be adjusted. Often I find that frustrating – like, I’m in such a good groove and why can’t it stay that way?!? But more and more I’m realizing, nothing is wrong; it’s just the way of life that things constantly change, and you constantly have to change with it.
Tomorrow I am blessed to be able to go away for a couple of days to a retreat for mothers of children with special needs. This comes at such a perfect time! The logistics of getting to and from the pickup/dropoff location in Jerusalem are a bit daunting for me as it entails several hours of driving on each end, but I am looking forward to the opportunity to recharge and relax.
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Can you relate to this feeling of being burned out, exhausted or stressed? If so, I’d love to hear what you’re doing to keep yourself going, and to fill yourself up.
Avivah
4 Responses
I relate to this so much. I’m usually mindful of enough rest, good nutrition, exercise and emotional support. What I often forget is the spiritual side of things and my thoughts as well. Sorting those often helps tremendously.
Thank you for sharing, Keren! It’s a challenge to keep a focus on all the parts at the same time, all of the time. Actually, it’s impossible! That’s why it’s so helpful to step back and reflect on what isn’t working, to get back on track.
Mussar chanting fills me up, keeps me going, helps me maintain appropriate perspective. My husband is a musician, and has set many pieces of mussar wisdom to his own music. Singing those words connects me to the spiritual value and helps direct practical thoughts, and also helps me feel the love my husband carries in his heart.
Welcome, Tina, and thank you for sharing! How beautiful that you can use the music of your husband n this way, and connect to Hashem, yourself and your husband all at once.