Category: aliyah

“hope everything falls into place for the apartment in israel- there is a quote that the harder you work the more good luck you seem to have. you seem to always have siyata d’shamaya (heavenly assistance) (probably you also notive it more than most people) — but i hope you will have it big time here. can’t wait to hear how it resolves!”

Yesterday my husband and I talked seriously about if we needed to further delay our flight for another week or two, since earlier in the morning we were told that the mortgage paperwork has been further delayed and could take another week or more to be completed.  Once there’s this delay, who knows if there will be something else?  Our rational minds said to wait, to be sure everything was firmly in place before moving.  But for other equally rational reasons, we felt it’s important to leave without further delays.  Everything is packed, our life has been kind of put on hold, dd16 really misses us, the kids going into school need to get organized, and we can’t keep everyone emotionally in limbo. 

And though it might not be ‘rational’, I have a very strong feeling that we need to leave now, that one delay could lead to another and another, and that we need to show Hashem (G-d) that we really mean it, that we really want to go and we’re going to leave no matter what.  If we back up, I feel like things will begin to move away from us rather than towards us, and for things to move towards us, we need to move towards them. 

But we needed some backup plan in the very strong likelihood the mortgage paperwork wasn’t finished, since we can’t enter the apartment until the funds are released.  I called a good friend who has a sister with a large house living in Israel, and she called her to ask if we could stay there (with our loads of boxes!) for up to a week.  Her sister agreed, but said they’ll be leaving Thursday night until Saturday night, and because they live in a very new neighborhood that is in the process of being built, there isn’t any local store, not many buses, and without a car it will be difficult for us.  She also works full-time and I didn’t want us being there to be a big pressure for her, though I’m sure she would host us graciously and with a full heart.  So our backup plan was in place, though we weren’t sure how we’d eat once we got there!

Then this morning at 8 am I got a call from someone here in Baltimore who I met a couple of weeks ago.  At that time I had posted a request online for moving boxes, and this lovely woman in her sixties contacted me.  There had been a flood in her basement and everything had to be packed up in moving boxes, and she was gradually emptying the boxes and offered them to us.  We went over and she had the large boxes that were exactly the size we wanted, 62″ total – we were able to fit the 18 gallon Rubbermaid totes we were packing inside of them, and a blanket/sleeping bag as well. 

We chatted with her when we got the boxes, and then went back a couple more times for more boxes, and chatted with her each time.  She was thrilled that we were moving to Israel and so encouraging!  When she heard we were planning to take bikes for three of the kids, she called us later that day and offered us a brand new bike she bought for her grandson to use when he visits, who doesn’t use it.  It still had the tags on, and she told us how happy it would make her if we were to take it.

She came by on Sunday morning with shaliach mitzva money (money to be given to charity on arrival in Israel, there is a concept that being a messenger of charity has protective elements) in separate envelopes for each child and us.  She had asked us earlier if we needed any backpacks for carryons, but we had a large pile and I told her we were set.  It turned out the night before we were supposed to leave that some kids didn’t have anything to use – I guess they had put backpacks they didn’t like into a giveaway pile, because we somehow have fewer than we did last week!  So yesterday she brought over some luggage suitable for carryons, a very big help.

This morning she called to see how things were going, and I told her about all the things that have been happening, the additional delays with the bank, our uncertainty about when to go, and about our decision that we needed to jump in and show Hashem that this is what we’re going to do, that we aren’t backing down.  And then she said to me – this woman I didn’t even know until two weeks ago – that she has a 4 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom apartment in Jerusalem that is currently vacant, and we’re welcome to stay there for free until our apartment is ready! 

It literally took my breath away, when I saw how Hashem (G-d) paved the way for us and sent someone into our life through a totally unexpected ‘back door’ to help us.  Really, would you ever guess that by posting a request for moving boxes that something like this would happen?!?  I hope we’ll be able to go directly into our apartment, but there’s such an overwhelming feeling of relief and gratitude to Hashem for taking care of us!   It is such a good feeling to know that we definitely have somewhere to go when we get off the plane, somewhere that if we end up needing to be there a little longer, I won’t feel pressured that we’re overstaying our welcome.

It’s not furnished – but our apartment is Karmiel isn’t either, and we’re planning to use sleeping bags for the transition period anyway.   Actually, it’s even better in some ways that it’s not furnished because then I don’t have to worry about any possible damage to someone’s furniture, and if we end up going there, we’ll have the privacy as a family that we wouldn’t have if we were staying with someone.  There’s a large porch and a private entrance, there’s a small market a few minutes away, and a larger supermarket that delivers a short distance away, so we’d be able to buy food and have what we needed until we moved to our apartment.  (I told her jokingly that it’s good it’s not furnished, because if it was, I wouldn’t want to leav! :))  Isn’t that wonderful??

“i am constantly amazed by your level of emunah and bitachon (faith), and i am trying to also have faith that things will fall into place as they are meant to.”

I’ve been seeing again and again, that you  can make your plans, think and plan ahead, and then everything changes.  Then you have to take a deep breath, remember that Hashem is taking care of you, leap – and then Hashem sends you the safety net right after that. It’s really not easy to do – it’s so difficult and sometimes my fear that the safety net won’t be there threatens to overwhelm me – but it’s breathtaking to see how everything is working out!

Avivah

Tonight I went to the goodbye party for a friend moving to Israel in a couple of weeks.  We met at an aliyah meeting several months ago, and spent lots of time talking after the meeting, during which I strongly encouraged her to make the move to Israel rather than continue to postpone it (she had been thinking about it for two or three years, I think).  After our talk, she went home and got her aliyah file opened that night and has been steadily making preparations for her move.  (Dh says I have a way of saying things and sounding convincing, but I think I happened to just reinforce and validate what was already in her heart.)  And here I was just three months later at her goodbye party!

It was a lovely party which I very much enjoyed, and had the opportunity to see some people I wouldn’t have otherwise had a chance to say goodbye to.  I shared with the first person how emotionally trying this period is, with a lack of certainty on so many levels, the last minute flight changes, and then the calls today in which we were told it could take another week or more for the paperwork to be finished, which had dh and I debating if going on Weds. was a good plan or if we needed to stay here in limbo for another week or more.  Really an emotional roller coaster – ambivalence is something people are uncomfortable with and look to resolve, and I’m no exception to that!  

She said something that resonated with me, about how in life’s difficult situations, it’s like giving birth – things get steadily more intense, and then when you feel you’re at the end of your resources, suddenly the baby is there.  I needed to be reminded that there’s going to be some benefit to doing all of this, because right now it’s frightening and it’s very, very easy to lose sight of the big picture and instead be caught up in the myriad of small details.  I so much want the security of knowing that this is taken care of and that we definitely can move into our home when we get off the plane, before we leave this country!  I don’t have any other definites to hold onto, and was okay with all of that because I thought at least a place to live was in place.  So I appreciated the reassuring perspective.  I have to continually tune into my belief that G-d will always take care of us, as long as I turn to Him and remember He’s the one orchestrating all of this, and this is the thought that I’ve been holding tightly to – it’s when I let go of it that I start to feel anxious.

The second person is someone I like so much but we had lost touch when we tried to reach each other by phone and both tried to call the other back but somehow weren’t able to reach each other.  I had specifically mentioned her to my kids, and was sorry I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to her, and it was so wonderful to be able to see her tonight!  Though she doesn’t have any current plans to visit Israel, I somehow know I’m going to see her there one day.

It was so nice to see that so many people came to show their love and appreciation for the friend who was leaving.  She is a very special person and she really deserved a nice send off like this. I felt a momentary pang of disappointment that there wasn’t an official goodbye party for me – I’m so appreciative for all that people have done to wish us well and don’t in any way minimize it – I really, really appreciate it!   It’s just different when there’s an evening dedicated to you, rather than you being a side part of the main agenda, which is what my experiences until now have all been. 

I had a beautiful goodbye party when I left Israel eleven years ago with about forty women in attendance that I still have warm feelings about, and though I didn’t expect any party here, my mind started moving towards this being a reflection of not have been really valued.  At times like these you have to remind yourself that feelings aren’t facts, and not take yourself too seriously when it’s the night time! When you wake up there’s always a more accurate perspective.  Even without going to sleep, just recognizing that I needed to shift emotionally to a better place and focus on the many positives in my life helped the feeling pass pretty quickly.  As I’ve shared before, people have been wonderful to us!

Since I didn’t have a vehicle to get to the party, I asked the honoree of the evening to give me a ride there and back, and we sat in the car talking for over an hour after she got to my house.  It was so nice for us both, and I’m glad that she’s moving to Israel and I can honestly say to her, rather than ‘goodbye’, ‘see you soon!’

Avivah

Well, our travel plans to Israel have been delayed.  After a very intense 45 minutes earlier this morning in which we had to quickly reassess and change all the plans that have been in place for weeks, I was able to change our family’s tickets to Weds.  However, that didn’t include the ticket for ds18, since as an aliyah ticket it’s handled differently.  The real estate agent needed an answer right away to tell the people who were considering making their apartment available to us as a short term rental, the van driver needed to know what was happening, and the person helping us arrange transportation to Karmiel was literally in the middle of his calls when everything shifted!

At exactly 9 am, literally one hour before we were scheduled to leave our house for the airport, I got all ten of our tickets changed to this Weds.  I’m pleased with the flight we’re getting, which is leaving from Newark instead of JFK (I don’t care for JFK), it’s a shorter drive there from our home, and it arrives at 7 am on Thursday rather than 5:30am (the time the morning JFK flight arrives).  Our original flight was a night flight, which I prefer when traveling with children since it makes it much easier to have them sleeping significant parts of the flight, but at this point we’ve got to take whatever flight will get us there as early as possible on Thursday, so we’ll have some small amount of time to get situated for Shabbos.  I hope we can find a take out place to buy some kind of food, since we won’t have an oven (or  a fridge) to prepare anything ourselves.

It was kind of hectic to make these plans since we were in the throes of last minute packing and had to be ready for the van to come for us at the predetermined time in the absence of other plans.  I wasn’t initially able to reach the person driving us to the airport or the airlines, and it took another half hour after trying to call them that I finally reached them both.  My first concern was that the driver not incur a financial loss, since he might have turned down another job in order to take our family to the airport today, and didn’t want to change tickets until I knew it was okay with him.  When we finally reached him, he said it was fine, and he would be available to take us on Weds instead.  What a nice guy.

We are really fortunate that because we purchased the tickets as returning citizens, we were issued tickets that allowed for a change without a penalty fee – otherwise the change fee would have been exorbitant for the ten of us!

“Would you be able to leave your luggage in your new house and stay elsewhere? Perhaps the renter has already started moving his stuff out and there’s place for yours?”

The challenge with this is that the current tenants for whatever reason aren’t ready to leave.  I know that the apartment they’re supposed to move into is ready, so I ‘m assuming they weren’t able to get themselves packed in time.

We had asked the real estate agent a couple of weeks ago if we should change our tickets when it looked like our loan wouldn’t close until Monday or Tuesday.  I was apprehensive about getting there with all of our stuff and not having a place to go once we had arrived.  She said it would probably be fine, and to leave the tickets as they were.  The owner agreed that we could go into the house a day before the loan closed, and since being able to get into the house when we arrive was my concern, I was reassured that even if the paperwork took an additional day, we’d be set.

This ended up not being the reassurance I thought it was and today was an uncomfortably close call. Dh is apprehensive about continuing to trust the reassurance of the well-meaning professionals involved in our mortgage process – they keep saying not to worry, everything will work out.  Today we were told that the mortgage paperwork has been further delayed, 80% that it will go through on Thursday for one set of papers, 50% that the second set will go through.  Though the tickets have been rescheduled for Thursday, dh is apprehensive about another last minute delay or difficulty based on reassurances that don’t pan out that compromise our family.

The reason our mortgage was delayed until this point was because the appraiser needed proof that the two bedrooms and bathroom on the upper floor were built legally so it could be included in the appraisal value. This meant that we (and our representatives) were constantly calling different Israeli government offices to get proof, something that was actually the seller’s responsibility to show, not ours.  It seemed to me that since it was his not doing what he was supposed to that caused the loan to be delayed, the seller should be taking responsibility for us being able to enter the apartment as agreed upon.   But the agent said that we’d have to take it up with a lawyer and the seller could argue that we didn’t complete the final payment (although it wasn’t completed because he didn’t do his part!), so he’s not obligated to get his tenant out by the agreed upon date.  Kind of a circular argument.

For the most part, I’m pleased with how this is all working out. it was pouring rain today when we would have been leaving, and I’m glad we didn’t have to spent thirty minutes taking out luggage to and from the van!  I felt worst about dd16, who was so much looking forward to our arrival that she burst out crying when she heard about the delay.  Otherwise, this travel change gives us a breather from the intensity of the packing and moving experience. There are some odds and ends to take care of, but for the most part everything is done.   Several friends came to say goodbye just as I got off the phone with the airline this morning, and when they heard we’ll be here another three days, they offered to have us for meals until we go.  So we’re getting so much support and now we have extra time with friends when we can relax and really just enjoy being with them without all the thoughts of what we need to accomplish before we go.

Tomorrow is my father-in-law’s 75th birthday, a friend’s goodbye party, and a bris for another friend, and now we’ll be here for all of that.  We’ll be able to get all of our recycleables out in time, drop off all the remaining items for Goodwill, give the boxes that will be shipped when my mother comes in a few months (basically books) to a friend whose keeping it here for us, and be here for the inspector who is coming on Tuesday.

Fortunately, we still have most of our mattresses, our dining room table, and chairs, disposable dishes, and toilet paper.  🙂   It’s strange; I kept delaying posting the mattresses for sale, and kept wondering at this atypical( for me) resistance to taking care of it, while I was easily selling/giving away everything else.  Now it makes sense – we still have a place to sleep, even with the last minute change.

I said before to someone that we’re being given the chance to trust Hashem (G-d) up to the very end, and that was before all of this happened, so we’re getting even more practice!  It’s scary to have spent almost all of our savings on this move, to have sold all that we have, and to be depending on this apartment, and not to know that this piece is firmly in place before we leave.  I very much hope that there won’t be a need for any further changes to this plan!

Avivah

Supposed to leave in less than an hour and a half, packing not finished.

Here’s the email sent by the real estate agent at 7:45 this morning (we’re scheduled to leave at 10 am), though we spoke to her before we got the email, so it was actually a bit later when we got this news.

Shlepping our huge amount of luggage there, then paying a mover to do it all again three days later and not being able to unpack or buy furniture in the meantime, staying in an apartment that is suitable for a young family and won’t have sleeping space for us all, and having nothing to do with the littles but keep them from damaging someone’s home – this option really isn’t something I want to do,  but if I can’t get hold of the airline soon, we might have to.

Trying to find out if we can change our tickets but after waiting twenty minutes to speak to someone, they said they can’t answer my question about ten seats being available on Weds – someone will call me back in a few minutes.  It’s been much more than a few minutes and no call.  Currently on hold again hoping someone will answer and give us a response.

So not sure if we’re leaving soon or in a few days.  The fun continues……

Avivah

Our van has been sold just a few minutes ago!  The first person who came to look at it Sunday wanted it, but we needed to keep it until today so we could get everything taken care of before we go.  Of course, we could still find an errand or two or three to do that a car would be helpful for :), but there’s got to be an end point.  So it’s really  nice to have sold it so quickly and easily.

I sold it via Craigs List, and listed it at a very good price to sell fast.  The check engine light recently went on, so I dropped the price a lot (about double the cost of the repair expense) to offset that.  I had tons of responses, and the first person who came by was a mechanic.  He was impressed by what a well-kept vehicle it was, and was able to quickly confirm that the engine light was on for what we told him.  He told us the piece would cost him $250 (the repair would have cost us $700 and the car in the shop for ten days), and was easy to do.

He was planning to rent a truck to move cross country, but our van is $100 less than renting the truck will be.  He can fix the van and sell it when he gets there for much more than he paid, so it’s a good deal for him!  Basically he can move for free and make some profit, too.  It’s a good deal for us also, because if I went to a car dealership, I’d be lucky to walk away with $500.   It’s a pleasure to sell something to someone who is really happy with what they’re getting and the price they’re paying for it.

We’re not planning to buy a car in Israel, so it’s time to start getting used to being a car-less family!

Avivah

Since we aren’t taking a lift with all of our furniture, we’ve had to drastically scale down on our household belongings.  For just about everything, the choice is: sell, give away, or throw away.  But that doesn’t work with our cat.

What to do with him has worried me.  He’s been a great pet, put up with my babies crawling after him and pulling his tail, very low maintenance and easy going – but he’s seven years old, and though he’s in good health, most people are looking to adopt kittens.  The idea of taking him to a shelter was really disturbing to me, since I know they kill the cats if they aren’t adopted within a short time.  But I wasn’t having any luck finding him a home, and advertising cats for free is a good way to attract people who want to use them for animal experimentation or other horrible things like satanic rituals.

Last week, a twelve year old neighbor saw our cat and asked dd15 what we’re doing with him.  Dd jokingly answered, “Do you want a cat?”.  But the 12 year old girl answered, “Yes, I do!”  Her parents contacted me a few days later and the family came over to visit our cat before deciding if they’d take him.

Then we agreed to wait a couple more days before they came to get him; I know this might sound strange, but I wanted to have a chance to tell him what was happening so he wouldn’t feel like we were abandoning him.  Several years ago, upon hearing me tell her how our cat expressed his displeasure both times that we came home from a family camping trip, a friend suggested in the future we tell him we were going on a trip but that we’d come back.  After that, we never had a problem again.

Today dd10 and dd14 took him over to his new home, where he immediately began eating the food they put out for him.   Knowing he has a good home is a big weight off of my mind; taking our cat wasn’t a good option for him (he’d have to spend all day in an apartment, and is used to being outside and in a larger home), and I’m so relieved that he’ll have a home with a kind family.

Avivah

Today was officially scheduled over a week ago as ‘Free Day’, meaning my goal was we would have all the packing finished and everyone could relax and do something that was fun for them.  It wasn’t a free day.

But – dd15 spent the entire day at Six Flags amusement park, a surprise planned by her very close friend, and had a fantastic time.  Dh went out for lunch with a close friend.  I gave ds12 the job of taking care of the littles for a few hours, and he was amazing – I don’t even know all that he did but he took them all out for hours and brought them home very happy.  Then he asked if he could go to his best friend’s house a couple of hours early (he was invited to a birthday party and sleepover afterward).  Dd10 had a sleepover at her grandparents, and so the house was very quiet.

I really appreciated the chance to work in a quiet house; there are so many details in my mind all the time and right now everyone needs my constant input in order to do anything constructive.  It’s taking a constant conscious effort to stay calm and speak quietly when I feel pressured, and I’m not always successful.  But overall dh and I feel it’s been amazing that until yesterday, we’ve both felt very calm about the move.  (Yesterday the closeness of our departure and the massiveness of what is still left to be done hit us!)

Today I sent out my final order for my nursing pillow business, and liquidated my inventory.  The only part about this that wasn’t positive was that I took care of it during that precious quiet time when I would have loved to have been plugging away at home.  But every other aspect was good and I’m so happy that everything went so smoothly.   With that done, another door has now shut, which means there’s room for a new door to swing open!

I’ve been busy selling stuff on Craigs List, and it’s been gratifying that things are selling nicely.  However, there are lots of odds and ends, things that are too small to post, but add up to a lot of stuff, and I was delighted when friends came today and left with boxes of stuff.  If I’m not going to take something with me, I want others to enjoy it!  Ds18 did a thorough cleaning of the garage and he and dh went to the dump with just about all of the stuff.   Then he took a full van load to the local Goodwill.  If you go to the store in our neighborhood, you can assume that a significant portion of their inventory came from our home.  🙂

We were supposed to sell our van tonight, but a) we were invited out for dinner – which was delicious and relaxing and wonderful! (thanks, Alisa!)- and wouldn’t have had a way to get home, and b) dh wants to take one more load to the dump in the morning (there’s a limit of a load a day).  I tried to do all the errands that need to be done so that when we don’t have the car anymore, we won’t miss it.

I’ve been doing laundry non-stop since yesterday and have just one small load left.  This is really important since I can’t tell how much room we need to leave in the luggage until everything is clean.  We’re allotted three boxes per person, and I was delighted tonight to realize that though I thought I only had two pieces of luggage remaining to fit everything into, I must have miscounted because I actually have only twenty seven boxes packed, out of thirty!  An extra available piece of luggage is a nice thing to discover towards the end.

Well, I better get back to packing now – I needed to take a break, so I combined my blogging with my break.  🙂

Upward and onward!

Avivah

We just got home from a nice family dinner at a restaurant that my husband’s boss treated us to. It was so generous of him, and though I was feeling really pressured to get out of the house when there was so much going on, it ended up being relaxing and enjoyable to be somewhere together and not be looking at all there was to do – because everywhere we look, there’s lots to do!

I had hoped to be almost entirely finished with packing by this point, but I’m not anywhere close to it.  Totally emptying this house and taking care of everyone at the same time is very challenging.  This morning I felt like I had to have some kind of help because there was no way for me to pay attention to the little kids and dive into all that needed to be done.  A friend called, and when I asked her if she could take the three littles, she was here within three minutes.  I didn’t even have clean clothes for ds5 – he used his last clean outfit yesterday and I wasn’t yet able to do laundry (because of the three weeks), but she took it into stride and told me she’d give him clothes at her house, and made him feel so comfortable about going to her house wearing just boxer undies.  🙂  Not one of the three kids was wearing shoes – I could have found them, but it would have taken me more than three minutes – and it was sooooo helpful to have them out for several hours so I could finally tackle in a focused way what I needed to do.  Until now I haven’t been able to focus on what I was doing without stopping continuously for drinks, snacks, meals, diaper changes, etc.

The paperwork with our apartment is still not completed – the most recent issue was when the appraiser wouldn’t include two of the bedrooms and one of the bathrooms in the appraisal, which affected what the bank would give towards the mortgage.  Then we were told that we couldn’t roll the closing costs into the loan, and that had to come out of pocket.  Our pockets just aren’t that deep!  But we just kept focusing mentally on everything working out.

On Sunday we got the message that the government office holding the necessary authorization for the apartment to be properly appraised was released, and today got a message that one of the banks involved processed the appraisal. And the good news is that hopefully the bank will release the funds for the mortgage on Monday or Tuesday.

Since we’re arriving Monday and we’d like to have a place to lay our weary heads when we get there, we’re getting lots of opportunity for positive thinking, since the funds have to be released and everything processed before we can get into the apartment!  We signed the contract ten weeks before we hoped to arrive, and were told it takes 6 – 8 weeks to process the paperwork. This is shaving things very, very close.  Not my preferred way of doing things, but you do what you can and then it’s really out of your hands.  I’m getting lots of practice with that with this move!

After a long day of going, going, going, and feeling the pressure that there’s too much to do and not enough time to do it in, I really didn’t want to stop for dinner.  But it was the best thing to step away from everything and take time to relax.  It’s true that I could have gotten a lot done if I hadn’t gone, but I would have missed out on the chance to recharge with the family, which I think is really important.

Avivah

Below is a short video about Tisha B’Av, the Ninth Day of Av, which we are commemorating today.  (Note: if you choose to watch this today, you’ll need to mute the music – unmute  when the man is speaking and you won’t miss anything.)

This is the saddest day on the Jewish calendar, a time when the most significant losses have occurred for the Jewish people on a communal level, and for many people, on a personal level as well.   This day became divinely designated as such many centuries ago, when the Jewish people in biblical times were given the land of Israel and cried needlessly out of their fear rather than embrace the G-d given gift.

In this video, it’s suggested that one rectification for the sin of the Jews in the desert is to joyfully embrace the mitzva (commandment) of living in Israel today.  As we are in our last few days before making the big move to Israel, it’s a message that our family personally found encouraging and affirming.  For those not moving, I think there’s still a positive message to get.   Even if we can’t physically live in Israel, our hearts should be there, our speech about Israel should be positive, and our thoughts about Israel should be positive.

After all, this was the gift given to the Jewish people by G-d – we need to appreciate it as such!

Avivah