Today is the last day of my 14 year old son’s six day school break.  It has been soooo nice to have him around all day again.  He just finished a game of Risk with his five year old brother that lasted several hours, because he kept letting his brother get more pieces to keep the game going.  It’s very sweet to see how his little brother idolizes him – he wants to sit next to him, walk with him, whatever – and it’s understandable, since my oldest is really nice to him and does lots of special things with him to make him feel good.

Today when I was out, someone told me about a speaker she heard yesterday.   He speaks across the country about drug abuse, and said that the amount of street drugs kids use pale in comparison to prescription drugs for kids, even young kids of 7, 8, 9.  These kids on prescription drugs are very often experiencing the drug highs common to street drugs, but all in legalized and parentally sanctioned manner. 

We’ve probably all heard how important parents are to keeping their kids off illegal drugs.  But what can be done about reducing the use of legal drugs?  Don’t kids really need them to function properly?  Apparently not as much as many would like to think.  The response of this expert was, “Parents need to be present for their kids.”  Meaning, parents need to be tuned into what is going on in their child’s heart and head so that kids aren’t left with too many tough emotions for them to handle on their own.  Why is it that something so obvious as a child’s deep need for his parents’ love and attention needs to be stated repeatedly by an expert to get parents to pay attention?  And even then it’s a tough sell?  Shouldn’t it be obvious that parents matter, that our kids need us in a deep and crucial way?  Guess not.

I’ll agree that sometimes meds are needed.  But definitely not in the huge majority of cases.  But it’s so much easier to deal with something superficially by giving the child a pill to pop than to figure out what’s going on that’s causing the problem.  And then taking the next stap and actually doing something to address the root of the problem.  But I know why most people won’t take that path – because it seems too hard.  But what seems hard and what actually end up most difficult are often very different things.

I’ve said it before, but it’s so important that I think it bears repeating – when you’re willing to do tough things in the short run, the long run will be much easier.  Yes, it’s hard to discipline your child appropriately when you’d rather let him do what he wants, or make time in your busy day to talk to a child who needs you when you’re so tired you’d rather just be left alone.  But the price down the road, of having kids who don’t need us, don’t want to be around us, and don’t care much about themselves or us is so, so, so much higher.  Catastrophically higher. 

So as the radio ads and billboards pronounce, “Parents – the anti drug.”  It couldn’t be truer.

Avivah