The graduation ceremony on Sunday was soooo nice!  It was held in the grand ballroom of the top ranked hotel in historic Gettysburg. It was a beautiful day in every way – the drive there, the weather (at least on the drive home!), the people, the hotel, and the event itself.

Beginning at 1:30 was a special reception being held for the seniors, each of whom was allowed to bring two friends.  We didn’t get there until about 2:15, so the kids didn’t really participate in the reception. I took the older kids in so they could get settled without a rush, and asked dh to give the littles something to eat and to let them run around so they’d be prepared to sit for a while.  After signing in, they went to get their caps and gowns on to prepare for the processional, and there was the first problem.

Do you remember last week when I told you about all that I did to be sure dd15 had a new gown because it was so important to her?   Dd had been very, very careful, checking several times, to be sure she had the right gown.  Unfortunately, ds16 didn’t check at all.  And he took the masters gown that had the funky sleeves.   Though he was willing to wear it since it was his mistake, it was sized for someone 5′ 5″ and he would have looked ridiculous. So guess who had to wear it?  Yep.  Dd.   Ds ended up wearing the gown she had brought, which was sized for someone 5’7″ – 5’9″, a size smaller than he needed but still okay in terms of length.

Dd was close to tears when she realized that she was going to have to wear this gown in spite of all the efforts made to ensure she had the right thing.  She really, really was upset about it, but the first thing she told me after showing me the sleeves was not to say anything to ds about it, that he already felt bad enough.  I told her later that day that she was sent a custom-made growth opp0rtunity and she passed with flying colors; she didn’t blame anyone and she really had reason to be annoyed, but she put it behind her and didn’t let it ruin her entire day.

Right after getting her settled, it was time for the guests to enter the ballroom.  I met up with dh, and confirmed with him that the littles had been fed.  “No, they ate before we left the house; they won’t be hungry.”  But it had been two hours since we left the house, so I quickly gave each of the three littles a hard boiled egg to eat.   Though we ended up entering later than almost everyone, it was still on time.  But within two minutes of the welcoming remarks, ds2 was loudly saying, “I wewy hungy (I’m very hungry), I want ood (food).”

So out dh went to get him an egg, and I asked dh to be really careful so no crumbs would end up being made (being that were were in the ballroom where nothing than water was allowed, and it was a formal kind of occasion).  Has anyone else noticed that husbands sometimes have a different sense of what that means than wives?  So ds proceeded to make a mess all over the floor (because it’s hard to neatly eat a hardboiled egg when you’re little)  and wipe his hands on my skirt.  Dh was laughing at the two-year-oldness of it all but I wasn’t – at all.  (He is pretty cute, though!)

This was the beginning of my personalized growth opportunity of the day- when you’ve put so much of yourself into something (in this case, ten years of homeschooling plus all the effort involved in participating in the graduation, getting everyone there on time, etc) and have everything worked out, it’s hard to have the experience significantly changed from what you expect.  Within just a couple of minutes of the egg situation, I realized that there was no way I’d be able to stay in and enjoy the ceremony so I took the baby and ds2 out.

And it took me at least ten minutes to stop feeling resentful that everyone else could be there (my inlaws, my mom and a friend, all my kids and a friend of dd), while I worked so much for this and I couldn’t.  It reminded me of a situation some of you may have experienced at some point: you’ve recently had a baby, but are finally ready for guests.  After spending hours in the kitchen, cooking for Shabbos and cleaning the house from top to bottom, everything is ready.  The guests arrive and shortly after the meal begins, you have to go nurse the baby (which because the baby is still tiny takes about 30 – 40 minutes) while everyone at the table enjoys all your work while you miss it all and get there when the meal is over.

But gratitude is a wonderful tool and it was very helpful in helping me get out of that negative head space by refocusing on the positive aspects.  By the time dh came a while later to find me and insist that I go back in (“Avivah, there’s no one here who belongs in there more than you do”), I was fine with where I was and how things were.  More than halfway through the ceremony my father in law came out because he was ready to stretch his legs, so he watched the littles and I was able to go back in right before my kids were introduced and stayed until the end.

But let me get back to the graduation itself.  To begin the ceremony, the senior processional entered the ballroom from two sides, which was filled to the brim with 500 guests, while the typical graduation theme (can’t remember what it’s called – Pomp and Circumstance?) was played on the piano.  That was followed by the invocation, then the Pledge of Allegiance, then welcoming remarks by the organizer.

The graduation was themed to the historical time period of the Civil War (appropriate since we were in historic Gettysburg).  The musician played historically appropriate music, which was a very nice addition.  He started by telling us about a song played at that time called Rally Round the Flag, and taught us the refrain.

I’ve been singing it the last few days since learning it there!  Here are the lyrics:

“Yes, we’ll rally ’round the flag, boys
We’ll rally ’round again
Shouting the battle cry of Freedom
We will rally from the hillside
We’ll gather from the plain
Shouting the battle cry of Freedom

The Union forever, hurrah boys, hurrah
Down with the traitor, up with the star
While we rally ’round the flag, boys
Rally once again
Shouting the battle cry of Freedom

We will welcome to our numbers
The loyal, true and brave
Shouting the battle cry of Freedom
And although he may be poor
Not a man shall be a slave
Shouting the battle cry of Freedom

So we’re springing to the call
From the East and from the West
Shouting the battle cry of Freedom
And we’ll prove a loyal crew
To the land we love the best
Shouting the battle cry of Freedom.”

(Here‘s an online version of the song, if you’re interested in hearing the tune;  I had never heard it and it seems most of the audience hadn’t.)  He had a wonderful deep and hearty voice, and followed the first song with a request for everyone to join in “Oh, Susannah”, which everybody knew and the room was filled with sound as everyone sang together.  It was a rousing and enjoyable way to open the event, really setting the mood for an enjoyable and unique event.

After the historical musical selections, there was a presidential entrance made by Abraham Lincoln, who entered with two reenactors portraying Civil War soldiers.

The portrayal of Abe Lincoln was done by a professional Lincoln reenactor and he spoke about how he was also homeschooled, and then shared the Gettysburg Address.  I unfortunately wasn’t there by this point so I couldn’t hear what he said, but my family said it was interesting.

Then the senior class was introduced one by one.   Prior to the ceremony a short bio of each student was submitted by the parents, and the organizer shared the details about each student based on the bio as well as her personal knowledge of them.  This is what took the longest amount of time, since there were 44 graduates!   But even though it took time, it was interesting to see the diversity represented and  I appreciated seeing the breadth of accomplishment represented – it was quite impressive, but what I liked most was seeing the individuality of each person shining through.

Right after each student was introduced, they were called up and presented with a rose by one of the reenactors in front of everyone (you can see the reenactors in the background).

When all of the students were introduced, they were instructed to take their roses to their mothers and give her a big hug and thank you.  It was a very nice gesture, though my kids gave it to dh first since they didn’t see me in the crowd.  Then we had a short break.

After the break the commencement address was given by Senator Bryan Simonaire, of the Maryland General Assembly, district 31.  He happens to be a homeschool parent as well!  And his talk was short but really, really great!  He started by telling us that as a senator, he specifically looks for homeschoolers to work with since they are dedicated, motivated, hard working, and know how to have fun while they work.  He then shared his experience of being told he could never succeed politically, and how he persisted in spite of it.  His message was to never give up, to believe in yourself, and not to be afraid to make mistakes.  It was excellent.

Then the seniors one by one were awarded their diploma.  Prior to the ceremony, parents had been given three choices for how the diploma was granted: by Abe Lincoln, by Abe Lincoln with the parents standing to the side, or by the parents with Abe Lincoln by the side.  I chose the last option – I didn’t do all this work for years to let a stranger give my child his/her diploma!   Each senior walked onto the stage, received his diploma according to whatever choice he had made, and had a chance for a photo before walking off.  It was nice that time was left for this so families had a chance to get a picture of their child before they were suddenly off the stage.

Our kids were the very last ones since it was done in alphabetical order and when ds was called up I gave him a big hug before dh gave him the diploma.  Who cares if 500 people are watching?  It’s not just a piece of paper, but it represents ten years of our life as homeschoolers, with all of the fun, trips, togetherness that has been part of that time.  Though most parents did, I couldn’t hand over a diploma without at least a big hug!

Then we stayed on the stage after ds16 exited to wait for ds15 to come onstage, and dh and I hugged her and then I gave her the diploma. After having the picture with Abraham Lincoln smiling beside us, the organizer called ds16 back on stage so we could have a picture with both of them together.  It was very thoughtful of her.

Then the graduates were all called back on to the stage, briefly addressed, and threw their caps!

Something I really appreciated about this ceremony is that the emphasis was placed on recognizing each student for who they were and what they accomplished.  I remember my graduation being boring, with lots of speeches and a few awards for the select few, which left everyone else feeling ‘less than’.  But in this case, no one was compared to anyone else. And there were just two speeches, each only ten minutes long, and each very interesting.

We thought we’d be able to get an informal family photo since we were all there and we had a grandparent available to take a picture. But the battery died after taking just one, which wasn’t a good one.  But I’ll post it here for a day or two – I think my kids will object to it staying up longer than that!  (As one said to me, “The people who read your blog will think your children are the ugliest in the world!”  🙄 No, they’ll just think we’re a normal family in which all eleven people aren’t perfectly lined up and smiling at the exact same moment!)

We followed the ceremony with a barbeque for family and a couple of dd’s friends once we got back home.  Our parents told us then how impressed they were with the ceremony, and said it was beautiful and special.  Dh also appreciated that I had made the effort to have the kids participate – it really was a very nice way to note their accomplishment, and the kids themselves thanked me very much and said they enjoyed it very much.

So it’s now official – I have two homeschooled children who have graduated from high school!  We did it!!!

Avivah