The following are notes based on an NBN webinar that I listened in on this past week.  I think the topic of moving teens from one culture to another has some significant challenges involved, and I appreciated that this webinar was available to me.

A) Common Teen Challenges

• Teens are struggling to shape their identities.
• They are trying to separate themselves from their parents.
• They are experimenting with new ideas and experiences.
• They are exploring new ways of communicating with you as parents.
• They are struggling with friendships and peer pressure.

This is typical of the average teen growing up in a culture familiar to him; all of these challenges become compounded when the teen moves to a culture that is unfamiliar to him.

B) How Do I Parent My Teen Oleh/Olah?

• Consider the social and educational needs of your teen when choosing a community and a school.  Move to a community where there is a school and framework for teen olim (plural noun of one person making aliyah, ie immigrating to Israel).  You need to put the needs of your teens first when deciding where to move.  Communities recommended were Maaleh Adumim, Modiin, Beit Shemesh, Gush Etzion, Jerusalem, and Raanana.  (Notice that there isn’t one city anywhere in the northern part of Israel that is mentioned – every single place is in the center of the country.)
• Maintain continuity and consistency with the current values of your home; this will support your child in making a healthy adjustment.  When you make aliyah, it’s not the time to have additional requirements of them, whether religious, academic, or disciplinary – don’t add to the burden they are already feeling.
• Give them space to make their own decisions.
• Be flexible and communicative; be understanding of Israeli teen culture that allows for much more independence.

C) Choosing a School

• Think about your child’s personality, adaptation skills, learning style, and any special needs, then decide what type of school is most suitable for that child.
• Ask about the educational and Jewish values that guide the school’s program and teaching approaches.  You don’t want to be surprised later on that your child has picked up a philosophy that you aren’t comfortable with simply because you never asked about it.
• Assure that the school is experienced with teen olim and their unique needs in preparing for the Bagrut (Israeli matriculation) exams.
• Educate yourself by speaking to teachers, principals, and more experienced parents so you can best help your child to succeed.

D) Youth Movements and After School Activities

• Joining a youth movement is a great way to make friendships and devel0p camaraderie.  (Ezra, Bnei Akiva, Ariel, Tzofim Datiim (Scouts), and Noam were given as religious options.)
• Participating in after school activities allows your child to explore interests in a non -academic setting.

E) Graduates of Your School of Choice

• Find out what the school expects of its graduates and the type of program they encourage upon gradutation.  Eg:  army, pre-army (mechina for boys, midrasha for girls), National Service, hesder yeshiva, yeshiva gedolah (for boys)/seminary (for girls).

All in all, I thought she included some very useful things to consider.  Although I’m looking at bringing teens from a slightly different angle and therefore my choices look different than their recommendations, I’ve actually considered all the points mentioned and thought about how to best meet their needs when we move.  I don’t think making aliyah is an easy thing for anyone of any age – it’s a major life change – but I hope that the decisions that my husband and I are making regarding our children will help make their transition as positive as possible.

Avivah