On Tuesday morning, ds12 had his interview with the principal of the school, with dh along as his translator.  Oh, but before I share about that, let me fill you in on how I decided to send ds12 to school.

When considering which kids should be sent to school, he’s been the biggest question mark of them all, due to his age and his extreme reluctance to move to Israel.  On Friday afternoon, I made the sudden decision to send dd10 and ds5 to school.  On Shabbos, he met a boy that he really hit it off with, and on Saturday night, he told me he was thinking he might like to go to school.

But he seemed hesitant to tell me directly, so I suggested he walk with me to a nearby neighbor I was planning to get school details from on the other two kids.  We ended up sitting in front of her building for a while discussing it.  He told me he had met a few kids from the eighth grade class, two are English speakers and a third understands English well, and he felt all the boys he met were really good kids.   He was concerned since officially he’s supposed to be in seventh grade (his birthday is January so he just missed the cutoff), and this class is an advanced class, and in addition to not speaking the language, they’d be much more advanced in gemara than he was.  At the end of our talk, I told him I’d get details on his school schedule, potential teacher, classmates, and we’d discuss it further.

At the interview, the principal told him that he felt he should be in the seventh grade because: the teacher speaks English (the 8th grade teacher doesn’t) and the class isn’t as strong academically as the class above, so the teacher repeats things several times and this would make it easier for someone just learning the language to pick things up.  Also, the eighth grade is a hard time to come into a boys’ yeshiva since there’s a lot of pressure to get into a good yeshiva high school, and ds12 wouldn’t be able to be up to par in that short period of time.

I thought these were all good points – very, very good points.  Particularly the last one, which is something that has weighed on my mind for some time and is troubling to me.  This is part of the academic system that I have very strong negative feelings about, that boys who are only 13 or 14 are accepted into programs based almost totally on their gemara skills and how wonderful they may be doesn’t count for much.  Honestly, it seemed almost a non-question which grade ds belonged in – seventh.

But from having spoken with him, I strongly felt that ds would be very unhappy socially in the seventh grade, and that having English speaking friends in the class was more important than a teacher who speaks English (since after all, he’s still going to teach in Hebrew). Also, the eighth grade teacher is known to be phenomenal, and an experienced teacher with a known track record was very important.  So we advocated for ds12 to be put in the eighth grade, and countered the principal’s concern about him not being able to pick up the gemara fast enough with our feeling that the main learning of student coming in without speaking the language is – the language!  Everything else is secondary.  And dh told them he’d work with ds12 to help him through the material.

Dh also explained to them that ds12 likes a challenge, and would find it motivating to be in the more advanced class and work harder to keep up.  Ds is also tall for his age (5′ 8″), looks older than he is, and is also emotionally and socially mature for his age.  We really feel he’s a better fit socially in this class than the other, and in the end, where a student feels they fit socially can be a huge factor in how positive their school experience is.

On Tuesday evening, dh spoke to the principal again and was told they agreed to accept ds12 into the eighth grade, as long as he shows within 6 weeks that he’s understanding everything that’s going on.  I laughed when I heard this and told ds not to worry about it, that it just means they want to see him making an effort, because it’s totally unrealistic to expect anyone to pick up the language that fast!  I mean, ds is bright and I think he’ll pick it up relatively quickly, but not that quickly!

Ds was really glad to hear the news, and at the same time, is feeling understandably nervous – not just about going to school for the first time, but about all the unknowns awaiting him.  Despite my earlier hesitations before we got here about putting him into school, now that we’re here he’s been really positive about the move, and with this decision to go to school being initiated by him, I know he wants to do well and is willing to put in the effort to do so.

Oh – as far as ds being accepted into a certain caliber high school, I’m not going to worry about it – I’ve decided to cross that bridge when we get to it.

Avivah