A number of people have been in touch with me in the 2.5 years that I’ve been living in northern Israel to ask about its suitability for new immigrants.

My experience living in northern Israel has in many ways been positive but it would be misleading not mention the realities of living in this area.

Language –  I was fortunate that my Hebrew was pretty decent when I got here and dh also can manage fine in Hebrew.  This is something that most new olim don’t have and it makes their lives much harder.  In the center of the country there are many English speakers and most professionals can communicate in English.  The down side of this is that a person can feel less motivated to learn Hebrew, but the up side is that you can function more smoothly in your day to day life even if you don’t know Hebrew.

This isn’t the case in the north, where the second language of many professionals is likely to be Russian or Arabic.  To me it seems that those without Hebrew are in a difficult situation here.  My mom had a very hard time after her  hip replacement surgeries because of this – the nursing staff didn’t speak English and instead shamed her by repeatedly telling her she should be able to speak Hebrew. This, despite the fact she had only been here a short time and made aliyah at the age of 62!   It can be very emotionally debilitating to be an intelligent and educated person and to feel so totally incompetent on a daily basis due to your inability to express yourself.

Learning a second language as an adult can be very, very hard and for Americans this is particularly hard.  Part of that is that we don’t grow up with a second language, like many Europeans.  Part of this is that our language structure is different than Hebrew – the Russians have a much easier time since their structure is more similar.

Social supports – When you move to northern Israel, you’re unlikely to move a community that will have significant social or emotional supports for you or your children.  That’s because those supports, especially in the beginning, will come from other Anglos who understand what you’re going through.  Israelis for the most part have no clue what’s it’s like to be totally alone here – no friends, no family, often no Hebrew language skills – and while they may be pleasant and kind people, they’ve never needed the supports you’ll need and are unlikely to offer meaningful help.

The north has a growing Anglo population thanks in large part to Nefesh B’Nefesh’s efforts and the financial grants that have encouraged new immigrants to move here.  That population is still very small in just about every area in the north and most of those people are new to the country themselves.  They’re trying to get their lives in order and figure out things for themselves – they aren’t going to have lots of excess emotional time and energy to give you ongoing assistance.

What does it mean to navigate life in a new country without any meaningful social or emotional network?  It’s hard.  Really, really hard.  I look back on all that we went through after we moved here and just about every aspect of our challenges were compounded by our physical isolation and our inability to access the kind of support that immigrants to the center of the country take for granted.  This is huge.  You may not anticipate needing help – I certainly didn’t – but making aliyah is a huge lifestyle change and as positive as it may be, it’s also traumatic in many ways for all members of the family.

It can be very emotionally and socially  isolating to move to this part of the country.  So often I felt totally alone, trying to navigate through situations myself that people in more central areas had lots of support with.  This ranged from typical challenges with job searching and the school system, to more specific issues we had to deal with.  We didn’t have people to speak to when we had a baby with special medical and therapeutic needs and was unable to get something as basic as a good quality breast pump despite reaching out to a local LLL leader and a lactation counselor (this was the cause of insufficient milk supply and why I stopped nursing after 4 months).  The resources just weren’t here and they still aren’t.  All of this would have been hard and even painful no matter where we lived but it didn’t need to be excrutiatingly lonely.

My kids were affected by moving to a community in which the school professionals had minimal experience with new immigrants.  The expectations of them were unrealistic – some of the kids rose to it, some didn’t.  Those who worked incredibly hard to learn the language and integrate at an older age didn’t get credit for the herculean feat they had accomplished because it was taken for granted, and those who were more typical in their response to being a new immigrant were labeled as having psychological or emotional problems.  In an area where there are lots of kids who have moved with their families who have a similar pattern, professionals are aware of what the norms are and kids aren’t as quickly labeled and pathologized.

An advantage to our kid is that they were forced to learn Hebrew and this is something the older kids are grateful for.

Employment – jobs are harder to find in the north and salaries are lower.  Almost every single new immigrant I know who looked for work locally has struggled to find it.  My husband was unusual in finding a job with an Israeli company as quickly as he did. Some people end up with incredibly long commutes to areas where the jobs are.  Those who have done best financially have moved here with a job that they were able to keep even while working from a distance.  (Israelis have also told me that finding jobs in the north is difficult but this is compounded for those new to the country.)  This is a very significant factor that is downplayed to those considering moving to the north.    

Are there people who have moved here and been happy?  Absolutely!  It’s a beautiful area of the country and the cost of living is lower (which is a significant if you have a salary from a different part of the country since it means you can live much more comfortably here).   As with moving anywhere, a person should move here with their eyes wide open and be careful not to dismiss or minimize the points I’m sharing.  Think hard about how to be as supported as you can be in all of the above ways when you move here because that support or lack of it can be the difference between a successful aliyah and a disaster.

Avivah

Yesterday dh and I headed to the Jerusalem area for our rescheduled meeting with the acceptance committee.  Since it’s a closed community, everyone who wants to live there needs to be approved first.

I asked the person doing the interview how long it would take and he assured me that we’d be finished withing 10 – 20 minutes.  It took an hour instead. He didn’t count on how interesting we’d be.  🙂

I expected the interview to be pretty straightforward and I also expected we might run into a little bit of stickiness regarding homeschooling.  I was right about the homeschooling being a concern but I anticipated that it would be more easily overcome than it was.  They said they had a past negative experience with a homeschooled family who later enrolled their children in the local school and their academic level was low, which caused the school to be upset with the acceptance committee.

Though I addressed what I perceived to be the underlying concerns – that we were going to stay to ourselves rather than be part of the community, that our kids were unsupervised and not getting any education, that we would put our kids in school and they wouldn’t be on a suitable level, that we wouldn’t put our kids in school….one member was still was very uncomfortable with it and told us outright that it’s hard for him to get past this.   (We all appreciated that he was forthright and direct.)

Ds15 was home for Shabbos and like all the kids, has been wondering what this place we’re planning to move to is like.  I suggested that instead of going directly back to school on Sunday morning, he take a detour and join us, then continue to school from there.  I told him he could walk around and check out the area while we were having our interview but they invited him to join us, saying that they like when older children are present since it’s important for teens to be happy with the decision to move.

This turned out to be a good thing.  It also was good when dd17 (who also wanted to see the area) got there when our meeting was supposed to be over but instead arrived about forty minutes into the meeting, when we were in the  middle of discussing how uncomfortable they were with the idea of homeschooling.  They were able to ask both of the kids if they were homeschooled and be reassured that they’re doing well in a traditional academic school framework after having been homeschooled many years.

He then asked us if we vaccinate our kids, prefacing by telling us that this wasn’t really an acceptable question so I understood it wasn’t typical for the interview.  I was a bit taken aback to be asked about vaccination at a meeting like this; I expected more about our professional backgrounds or past community involvement!

They told us they’ll let us know about the results of the meeting within a week.  My kids asked if we would stay in Karmiel if we weren’t accepted and I told them I didn’t think it was likely they would reject us over homeschooling, but if they did we’d have to start searching for somewhere else.  There’s  no question we have to be close to Jerusalem at this point in our lives.  The committee representative called us at 4:30 that afternoon to let us know we’d been accepted; we appreciated that they didn’t keep us hanging!

After our interview we looked at several houses.  Our preference has been to find a rental home and then later determine if we’d like to purchase a home in this area.  However, there are very few homes big enough for our family that become available to rent so we decided to be more flexible and look at homes for sale.  Whether we rent or buy it was helpful to get a sense of what the houses are like since they all have similar layouts.

I asked dd17 and ds15 for their feedback about being there.  This is a small community of 600 families and it will hopefully be warm and friendly and is overall a pretty place, but the kids both said Karmiel is much nicer.  Obviously a beautiful city in the most beautiful part of the country is going to be nicer than most other places, but our priority isn’t about the aesthetics.  They thought everyone we met was very warm and friendly as did dh and I.  It was a tiring day and what will give everyone some sense of focus and clarity is when we find a home – it’s hard to be enthusiastic when we have no idea when we’ll move.  As I keep telling them – and myself – we have to be open to what God wants of us and it will happen when the time is right!

Avivah