I’ve been so glad that my three year old has been able to be home since March with us. He’s doing so well in all areas and it’s with sadness that I signed him up last week for preschool. Sadness that quickly turned to alarm.
First, the pluses of what I found. I didn’t want to send him to a special ed school in a different city; it would be a very long day with a lot of travel, and I have a strong preference for an inclusive environment for him.
I signed him up for a local multi-age religious preschool (3/4/5) with a small class of just 15 students and two teachers. Rafael is also entitled to get a one on one assistant to support him in the mainstream environment. The students all live locally so these are children he will see in the community outside of school hours.
This is just a few minutes from my house by car, and since it’s multi-age, he can attend the same preschool for several years. That means less transition and more security from having the same teachers, same building and many of the same classmates.
HOWEVER – the regulations for schools throughout the country are that parents will no longer be allowed to enter the preschool (or any other school). Children have to be dropped off at the entrance gate to the school.
This is incredibly alarming. Why in the world can anyone go anywhere else – the store, the beach, the synagogue – and not into their child’s school?
I presume that most teachers are good and responsible people. But a child’s most significant protection has always been from involved parents.
A young child going to a new school for the first time needs the security of his parent’s presence. The way I’ve handled introduction to preschool in the past is to prepare them in advance, by introducing them to the teacher and show them the classroom. (In the daycare we sent to, the staff facilitated this for everyone – three children at a time were invited with their parents to come for an hour or two to help the familiarize the child with the class environment and a couple of peers to start off with. )
Last year, I stayed with Rafael a couple of hours on the first day, then left him for an hour and came back early to pick him up. We eased into a regular schedule over the course of a week or so, with me staying less and less each day, and leaving him for longer periods until he was comfortable with it.
Now I’m expected to drop him off at a building he’s never seen, with teachers and classmates he’s never met ?? Without my presence to reassure him? No way.
I’ve spoken to our foster care social worker and shared my conviction that this is emotionally unsafe for young children. She’s spoken to her supervisor, and they agree with my concerns.
However, the official response is that as a foster child, Rafael has to be registered for preschool regardless of my concerns. If I was a biological parent, there’s not a chance that I’d agree to this. To leave our children without parental supervision and physical involvement in their schools is a very dangerous precedent.
No matter how kind, how well intended or responsible everyone involved is, a parent is a child’s best advocate and protector and barring parental entry to schools is a dangerous move.
Avivah
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