Monthly Archives: October 2021

New grandson, homeschool alumni panel, changes to our homeschool

homeschooling, parenting

We have been blessed with our third grandson two days ago – first three granddaughters were born within nine months of each other, and now these three little boys born within a year! (We’re waiting for one more addition in the next few weeks.) It’s so nice that as they grow up and we have family get togethers, the cousins will all have each other.

Two days old

And so he won’t be left out since I didn’t announce when he was born, here’s me with my beautiful second grandson three months ago.

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Dd21 and I went to Jerusalem yesterday to see the new baby, and we had the luxury of a long day of driving together that provided the opportunity for hours of shmoozing time. It’s really interesting to watch one’s children become independent, thoughtful adults with well-formed opinions. I reread a couple of John Taylor Gatto’s books recently (Dumbing Us Down and Weapons of Mass Instruction – I highly recommend them both if you want to expand your thinking about education). His writing from twenty and and eleven years ago is remarkably relevant to current events. Dd picked up the book one day when I left it out, and has found his writing insightful and thought-provoking, and we’ve had some really great conversations about the themes he discusses.

Last year I gave the keynote talk at the online Jewish Homeschooling Summit (our first grandson was born that morning!), and though this year I’m not able to participate, dd21 will be joining the alumni panel tonight. The conference is free, and details of the schedule are here. Recordings are available if you can’t participate live. (Edited to add: though she had a lot to say, she only got one question so you won’t hear much of her very well thought-out and articulated positions on education.)

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Meanwhile, it looks like we’ll be having some shifts to our homeschooling. Ds15 is seriously considering leaving high school to learn at home. He’s very mature and is taking the time to weigh the decision, evaluating the benefits and disadvantages of each option. The main advantage is the doors that may open later on, for example, to the post high school yeshiva that his older brother attended. The main disadvantage is spending years waiting to do the things you really want to do, which closes other doors. I would love to have him home again but will support whatever choice he makes.

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We had a visitor this Shabbos and spent hours chatting. This resulted in me agreeing – for the first time ever, despite many requests over the years – to include her thirteen year old son in our homeschooling lives. (He’ll be living with us during the week, going home for Shabbos.) We’ll be doing a week long trial, after we get home from the Shabbos bris of our grandson ***. If it goes well, we’ll extend the trial for another few weeks. My husband was surprised that I agreed, but I think it will be a positive thing for all the boys – hers and mine.

We’re looking to do a house swap for this Shabbos with someone in the Rechavia neighborhood of Jerusalem with a three bedroom apartment. If you know someone, or are that someone and want to enjoy a Shabbos in the gorgeous north, please be in touch via email. (My name@yahoo.com)

Avivah

Is there anything cuter than baby chicks??

gardening, homeschooling

Every morning, I go out with the leftovers from dinner to feed the chickens – as soon as they see me they run from the far side of the yard for their breakfast! Our chickens have a very nice life free ranging in the yard and they return the favor by scratching around in my garden beds, eating bugs and fertilizing the soil – it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. Then they turn my scraps into eggs – and now, into baby chicks!

Yesterday afternoon ds14 came in with great excitement to announce that there were two newly hatched chicks. His hen made her nest at the base of the pandorea vine, and was almost completely surrounded by the leaves. I could hardly make out one chick – he said the other was under its mother.

This morning, I thought I’d be helpful and put food next to her nest so she doesn’t have to go hungry while sitting on her eggs. But she jumped up with the others to get food, so I peered in. I saw one little chick looking solemnly out at me. I stepped back to look around to see where the other chick was, and saw it had followed its mother. Then that one ventured out to join them, so all three had breakfast with the others.

Many mornings after putting ds9 and ds4 on their school van mornings I go out and sit in the yard and just sit and watch the chickens. They’re very entertaining, much more than ducks.

I thought that ducklings were the cutest thing ever, but I think it might actually be baby chicks. I had the strongest desire to just scoop up and stroke the little chick learning to walk on his new legs, but I didn’t. Instead I took a picture for you.

Ds14 has had a variety of experiences raising poultry – starting with ducks, then quail, then chickens and lastly geese, and has decided that chickens are the very best. (I agree.) These chickens hatch their own eggs, versus him needing to incubate the eggs for all the other birds. Did you think that all birds hatch their own eggs? Not at all. It’s been bred out of them, I suppose. After all the ups and down and various experiences he’s had, it’s been especially gratifying for him to watch his flock multiply without his intensive involvement.

As we were watching together, he commented, “It’s so nice for the chickens to have mothers.” As attentive and responsible as he is, it’s a qualitatively different experience being raised by a mother hen, who keeps her chicks warm under her, teaches them to run and forage, shows them how to be safe, and protects them from threats.

Mother hen with chicks that are less then a day old

It’s also really nice for him to watch things come full circle. He bought the original chicks in the beginning of the spring when they were two weeks old. A few died in the early days, a couple were sold as they got bigger (not more than one rooster, I insisted!) but mostly he’s watched them grow and it’s really nice now to see them with chicks of their own.

These tiny guys aren’t the first chicks to hatch this season. Four chickens went broody all at once – one hen made her nest in one area, and three others all sat in nests right next to one another. The first eggs to hatch were from one of the three hens – only two eggs hatched, and those hens sitting right next to the mother were just as proud and protective as if they were their own (none of the other eggs hatched). Those chicks are now about six weeks old, and they still all travel together, as well as another hen who latched on to them as soon as the first chicks hatched. My son says they have four mothers; I think of them as one mother and three very devoted aunts.

The second hen hatched three eggs, and she runs around on her own with them.

Mother hen with six weeks old chicks

It was a surprise when ds found the new nest a week or two ago; it was well hidden and he wasn’t expecting it. There are eight more eggs still in the nest and when dd21 checked them she said they all look viable. We were pleasantly surprised that they were fertile since the rooster was rehomed before Sukkos. I don’t know what we’re going to do with them if they all hatch, but one thing is for certain – they aren’t all going to stay here!

Avivah

Spending time alone in nature and sharing it with my children

parenting, personal development

I’ve had a lovely few weeks of living life without writing anything about it and I’m now back with you!

This morning I went for a short walk and discovered a beautiful private spot near a stream. I went down next to the water and sat there for quite a while, just being quiet. I found it’s not so easy to sit and be present with the sounds of nature around me without wanting to reach for something to listen to or read or write. I’ve gotten used to listening to podcasts/recordings/meditations/music when by myself, and although these are often very positive, centering, gentle messages, they nonetheless keep me from being truly alone with myself. Hence my recognition of inner restlessness this morning.

It’s not easy to be with one’s self without distraction, but it’s important. I’m reading Digital Minimalism, by Cal Newport, and he has a chapter on the benefits of solitude. Never in history, he says, have we had the possibility of never being alone with ourselves. Not in the car, not walking somewhere or waiting somewhere. Thanks to modern technology that allows us to access non-stop entertainment and information, we never have to be alone with ourselves.

He quotes Michael Harris, author of Solitude, who says that three crucial benefits of time by one’s self are: new ideas, understanding yourself, and closeness to others.

I don’t have to read a book, though, to know that I always feel better after time alone in nature. I like the inner calm that comes from slowing down and being present with myself, and helps me be more present in the moment for others.

My daughter was sharing with me about an interaction with a woman who is around seventy, and said it’s nice that older people often have the ability to hold space for others. Unless, she added, they have a smartphone. Her observation made me sad. It’s really a challenge to hold onto yourself in the digital world, and even those who have lived many decades without it have been sucked in. Online technology is touted as the answer to social isolation for people of all ages, but what it too often ends up doing is stealing us from ourselves and those around us.

I sometimes think that more nature is the solution to almost everything. Nature always holds a space for us. It just is, and allows your mind to slow down, and to find the stillness in yourself. We are all calmer, happier people in the context of nature. I am extremely blessed to live where I have so much more access to nature than I have in the past (as you know, that’s what the impetus for making the move here was), and even when I don’t go out of my yard (which is most of the time – I’ve become quite a homebody), I find deep pleasure sitting on my patio, looking out at the fields and mountains.

Last week I took an early morning nature walk and I crossed paths with a teen boy riding a horse. Not galloping or anything exciting, just a slow, plodding pace. A couple mornings later I crossed paths with a different teen boy, and thought how wonderful it is that these young men have this space for themselves.

I’ve regularly noticed that a day or two after my fifteen year old comes back from school, as the ‘city’ energy is released from him, he gets more upbeat and I sense an inner calm stealing over him. We had a number of guests over the summer in our vacation apartment, and I saw it happening with them also – they came with a faster moving energy, and after a couple of days they had a more relaxed vibe. It’s the effect of the natural environment.

Green Renaissance Films make short films of ten minutes ore less that celebrate the inner beauty of regular people who are living their lives in harmony with their values. It doesn’t seem incidental that nature is important to them all.

I just started a read aloud of My Side of the Mountain with my boys (dd21 ended up joining us, too); I’ve read it with the older kids but these boys were too young to remember it. I’ve loved this book since I read it as a ten year old! This fictional book is about a thirteen year old who leaves home to live alone in the Catskill mountains, and the life he creates for himself. As I was sitting in my quiet spot this morning, I thought how I’d love to share it with the boys, and when I came home told them that today we’ll be doing our reading in this spot. Dd 21 is planning to travel to Jerusalem today, and I asked her if she’ll be able to join us. She’s going to schedule her bus so that she can come with us. They’ll experience the book in a different way when sitting next to a gently rippling stream, in the middle of a bamboo thicket while listening to me read.

That’s where we’ll be going in about twenty minutes. I’m looking forward to it!

Avivah