No, the children aren’t here yet.

I called the social worker yesterday at 3:40 pm and told her I assumed they weren’t coming, since school would be over at 4 and if they were coming directly from school as I was told they might, there wouldn’t be time for that to happen. She was startled at how late it was, and still didn’t have an answer for us as to what the court had decided.

She’s trying to keep me updated and prepared for whatever may happen, and I could tell from the tone of her voice that she felt embarrassed to tell me once again that what I was told was highly likely didn’t happen. I told her not to feel uncomfortable, I understand it’s just the process and that everyone is doing their best to help move this along.

I appreciated that I had time to finish moving all the clothing for ds10 and ds6 into their new room, and now the old room is fresh and ready for the twins. It’s much more relaxing knowing that whenever they come, everything is basically ready.

The social worker called me later last night to say that the court met and decided to postpone the final decision for this morning. I’m wise to the way this goes by now (maybe you’re starting to be able to predict this, too?), so I assumed that the morning would mean sometime before it was dark at night. That was a good estimation – she called me today at 5 pm to tell me they didn’t meet until later in the day – but they did have a decision!

So what did they decide? The court’s decision is that the twins need to be removed immediately. But they’re taking into account the social workers’ feedback, and the social workers are recommending a somewhat gradual introduction to our home rather than plunking them here like a sack of potatoes purchased at the store.

The children don’t know anything about the search for a new family for them. The temporary foster parents also don’t know about the transition for the children from their home that is being planned. And neither do the parents. No one was told anything because they’ve been waiting until there was a conclusive decision by the court.

So far, this is the plan, that is 99.9% certain unless they change it. (That’s a quote from my social worker, and she didn’t say it jokingly.)

Tonight they’re going to call the temporary foster parents and notify them that a long term foster family was found. Tomorrow morning, the children’s social worker will visit them in the home to let them know what’s happening. Soon after that, my husband and I are going to meet them. That’s the most definite part of the plan.

The part that is in question is this: we’re supposed to make another visit to them on Sunday. Then first thing Monday morning, they’ll come here. But if the court decides they need to be removed faster, they might come Sunday instead, and one visit will suffice. I’m really glad that they’ll get to meet us at least once before moving in.

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My next update from the social worker came at 9 pm, telling me what we need to prepare for the visit tomorrow morning. The children’s social worker specializes in transferring children in emergency situations, and will be there for whatever visits we have with them. She gave our social worker a list of preparations to make.

I appreciated the guidelines, though my husband and I are both disappointed that this was told to us at the last minute. It feels like a lot of pressure, and we’ll have to put something together in a makeshift way instead of doing it nicely.

1. Bring a physical photo album with names of the people in our family that can be left with them.
2. Bring a physical picture of our home from the outside and their room that can be left with them.
3. Bring presents for each of them.
4. Bring a sweet treat for each of them.

I don’t have any recent pictures lying around – the last time I printed anything out was eight years ago, and those aren’t current representations of our family members. The photo shop in Tiberias doesn’t open until 10 am tomorrow morning, and there won’t be time to print them before we have to be at our meeting. Ditto with going to buy toys.

We’re going to print out pictures on our black and white home printer to make into a booklet for them, but will have to take some pictures in the morning and putting the booklet together will have to wait until the morning. I haven’t yet started cooking for Shabbos, I have guests coming – tomorrow is going to be a busy day.

As far as gifts: I put a new stuffed animal on each of their beds, so instead of them being here when they arrive, I’ll give them each one during our visit.

She suggested introducing myself as Avivah to them, which I’m not at all comfortable with – our kids don’t call adults by their first names and it would be jarring for all of us to hear a child refer to me in that way. I asked since our kids all call me Mommy, can I introduce myself like that? They are Hebrew speakers so this wouldn’t be something they would recognize as a name for a mother, and I think it would smooth their transition to call me the same thing as everyone else. She said I should let them eventually decide to call me that on their own.

(A cute side note – when I moved here a few years ago, an almost two year old neighboring child used to spend a lot of time in our home. He’s an English speaker, but they called their mother Ima and he wasn’t familiar with the term Mommy as a name for a mother. When he heard my kids addressing me as such, he did the same. It was very sweet.)

I asked if I can instead introduce myself as Doda (Aunt) Avivah? She said no, because I’m not their aunt. I told her that in a global way, the Jewish people is all one big family so it’s not untrue to say that, and often when my kids were little, I referred to my close friends as Auntie Leah, Auntie Rachelli. I’m not going to tell them to call me Mrs. Werner! She’s going to call and find out what is okay. It’s a little annoying that every little thing needs to get approval.

Oh, by the way, yesterday the court decided they (boy/girl 5.5 year old twins) need to sleep in separate rooms. I am not happy about a demand like this being made at this point without asking if it’s something we can do. When I first discussed taking both children, I specifically queried if they could sleep in the same room and was told they could. Though I technically have bed space for the boy in the room with ds6 and ds10, I don’t think sharing a room is a good idea for any of them at this point, for a number of reasons. And I don’t have two available bedrooms to give them each their own room. I told our social worker that we can work on that as time goes on, but it’s not something I can immediately accommodate.

A time for our meeting still can’t be set up, since the signed written official court order hasn’t been released; everything was verbally relayed. We have to wait until tomorrow morning for them to get the court order, then they’ll call us and tell us when and where to be. They said they realize that they need to get this organized earlier in the day (being that it’s erev Shabbos), but I have a feeling that my idea of early and theirs may differ quite a bit.

The decision for the first visit to take place tomorrow indicates how strongly the court feels about moving the children quickly, since Friday is a national day off, and anyone who will be working on this case is doing it outside of their normal work hours.

Avivah