For years, people have thrown around the term ‘Superwoman’ to refer to me, which I’ve strongly pushed back against.

But lately, for the first time I can remember, I’ve been thinking to myself, “I feel like Superwoman!”

The amount of things I’ve been accomplishing is off the charts, and other than a nap midday I’m going and going – really doing things, not just being awake – from 4:30/5 am until I go to sleep (10:30/11pm).

I don’t find wedding planning daunting, but less than a month before the wedding I realized I would need to plan the entire wedding from scratch. That was during the most busy time of the summer with all of the children home, as well as having married children and grandchildren visiting, in addition to the many appointments I was taking children to.

The wedding took place on Friday, Sept. 13; it was beautiful and I had so much nachas spending the Shabbos sheva brachos immediately afterwards with our entire family.

Part of what has been taking up time has been a course that has been more intensive than I anticipated – the time I’ve needed to keep up has been double what I was told to expect. I’m enjoying it but the pace has been a stress at times.

Today I was at our weekly speech therapy appointment with ds12 and ds7.5 when I met a neighbor of the clinic. We got to talking and he mentioned he’s involved with alternative health; I asked him about what that means specifically and he said he works with energy.

I asked him some questions and he told me that some people are very closed, but then there are people like me who are easy to read. I asked him what he saw about me; he said a few points, the first of which is that I have a lot of forward moving energy and it’s something that I need to balance.

For me this cautionary note very much resonated because with all that I already am doing, I’m thinking of moving into an arena that I’m very interested in but will require a lot of time and commitment. I want to do it as it aligns with goals that are important and meaningful to me, but at the same time it feels like a big push and I’m hesitant to have pack my schedule too full. I’m efficient; I use my time consciously and well. Everything has gotten done and I don’t feel stressed. But I’m feeling like I need to let go of doing an impossible amount of things every day and embrace a more relaxed schedule – time to say goodbye to Superwoman!

I love many aspects of my current schedule; I’ve prioritized the elements that are most important to me and my mornings are particularly fulfilling and productive. I have time for prayer, meditation, reflection, exercise, time with my husband, connection with a friend, and in the middle of it get my four youngest children ready for school with everyone usually in a positive state of mind.

This time of year is always when I think about goals and intentions for the coming year. For many years I knew I was moving forward but had no way to measure it or recognize the changes I made. Once I started setting concrete goals, it made it possible to see the improvements year upon year and that’s very gratifying.

I’m still in the process of setting my goals for the coming year. All of the above considerations are part of the process: am I trying to do too much? Can I move towards this significant personal goal without putting too much pressure on myself? How can I recalibrate my expectations of myself so I can make progress without getting discouraged if I don’t see the results I want as soon as I hope?

I’ve been repeatedly reminded that the focus shouldn’t be on the outcome, but on the process. We can’t measure our success by what we accomplish, but by who we become in the process of pursuing the goal. The effort is what matters, the end result isn’t in our control.

I’d love to hear if you have a time and approach to goal setting that’s been helpful for you – what do you do, and how do you do it?

Avivah