This evening I went to PTA conferences for three of the kids, and teacher after teacher was coming up to me to congratulate me on the bas mitzva. They said that it was the talk of the teacher’s room!  Two teachers and later a mother of one of dd’s classmates told me that the girls who attended were all talking about it as well, and unanimously agreed it was the best bas mitzva any of them have ever attended!

This was really nice to hear – dd12 is one of the youngest of her class, so there have been plenty of other bas mitzvas that the girls have been to.  We didn’t set out to make a party that would ‘wow’ anyone – not at all.  That’s not our style.  Our focus was that it would be meaningful and enjoyable for our family and dd’s friends, and I’m grateful we were able to achieve that.

I don’t feel I can take credit for how well it went because you can plan and do your best, but what happens really isn’t in your control.  However, I think there were some things we did that might be helpful for others, so I’ll share what I think were the factors that contributed to it being a success, as well as things we put effort into that didn’t really make a difference.

Firstly, the food.  We could have made a much simpler spread, eliminated all of the salads, put out only crackers and dips, and later three or four cakes and cookies and it would have been fine.  I’m not sorry we did what we did, because the adults who came appreciated it!  It definitely added visual appeal to have a full table of salads, but as far as the girls, the snack foods were what had the most interest.

Speeches – three of the four speeches were given by family members (me, dd17, dd16), and except for me, none of the speeches was more than a few minutes. (Dh wasn’t timing but when I asked, said I might have spoken for as long as ten minutes.)  Everyone focused on dd12 rather than abstract ideas, and I think that the personal and sincere sharing was appreciated – I saw dd’s teacher had tears in her eyes when one of the talks were over and she told me today how moving it was.   Long speeches are hard for young girls to sit through, and they seemed to be listening and paying attention to everyone who spoke.

Decor – we rented a youth center for the event, because having enough space for dancing was a critical factor in choosing a venue.  Though the colorful walls weren’t elegant and would have probably detracted from a more formal event, both teachers attending told me they felt it  added to the evening and made the girls feel like it was really an event geared towards them.

And the most important factor – dancing and music.  I felt having something for dd12 to do with her classmates in which she could participate equally with them without the pressure to speak in a language she doesn’t yet feel comfortable in would be very important in making the evening enjoyable for her.  Getting everyone involved in simple but fun dances was a great way for everyone to enjoy herself and was a bonding experience for them all.  The teacher led the dances and the girls were able to learn the moves as they went along, so everyone felt comfortable joining in, regardless of if they knew the steps previously or not.  The teacher told me the next day that the girls were commented on how nice it was to have dd participating fully with them – they were able to see a side of her that they don’t get to see in school.

As far as the music, we had very upbeat music with a nice beat for dancing, and the right kind of music keeps everyone going longer than they would with something less fun.  I’ve been to a couple of events when the music wasn’t loud enough to enhance the atmosphere; this was a large room with a high ceiling and I wanted the sound to fill it so we got speakers to amplify the music.  We also had a microphone, and though this wasn’t necessary, there’s something about a microphone that brings out something in people!  Towards the end of the evening, every girl took a turn (with the microphone), giving dd12 a birthday blessing.

None of these factors were expensive.  I don’t know how much the food cost since I didn’t keep track of the grocery receipts – the extra food costs were all absorbed by our regular monthly food budget; we prepared everything from scratch so that kept costs down.  I also didn’t track how much we spent on paper goods and drinks – I’ll estimate 150 shekels but that’s a high estimate.  The hall rental was 200 shekels.  We borrowed speakers, a microphone and music cds.  We planned to pay someone to lead the dancing, but the person who I asked (who ended up being sick and not being able to come) doesn’t do it in an official capacity and told me she didn’t want to accept money for it.

So that’s really it – we probably spent less than any of her classmates on their bas mitzvas, though it didn’t look cheap or skimpy.  As I’ve said before, spending more money doesn’t make for a better outcome in whatever the given area is, and was definitely true in this case!

Avivah

A few weeks before our planned move to Israel, our desktop computer was totally fried.  Not a hope of fixing it.

I would have felt it was a big splurge to buy a laptop when our desktop was totally fine, but in light of the state our computer was in, dh and I decided to each get laptops.  We bought refurbished models on ebay from a seller who had an excellent history.  It was great to be able to simultaneously downsize the amount of space we needed in our luggage for our computer, while doubling the computer availability.

I was very happy with  my laptop, but dh’s was showing signs of a problem.  Turns out that the small annoyances that he chose to overlook since it was such a busy time before our move that he didn’t want to bother with having to send it back, were part of a bigger problem.  So after a few months, he replaced it with a brand new model.

But as for me, my computer kept chugging along and I’ve felt that our purchase was a good one.  In the last couple of months, I’ve had a couple of computer issues, but they were easily resolved. Until the most recent one – the motherboard is warped due to the heat that this particular model puts out and this had rendered my laptop unusable.  This was nothing that the seller did wrong, and nothing that I did wrong in using it, though knowing what I know now, I would have purchased a cooling pad for it.

Interestingly,the computer repair guy told us that laptops in Israel rarely last more than 2 – 4 years.  This is because there’s so much more dust here and it gets into the inside of the computer where it causes malfunctions.  He’s fixed hundreds of laptops, and he said that in his experience, to get four years out of your laptop, he said you’d have to take it apart about once a year and have it totally cleaned out of any dust that accumulated.

So now we’re trying to decide what to do.  I definitely need a computer – in this interim period I’m grateful to be able to use dh’s, but it’s not usually available until late at night and dd17 also wants to use it then so I have a very minimal amount of time available to me right now, which is a bit frustrating.  The question is, should I replace the laptop with another laptop, or with a desktop?  I’ve gotten used to the flexibility of a laptop and would find it very hard to go back to a desktop, but the idea of spending money every year or two on a laptop and thinking of it as a disposable purchase isn’t so appealing!

What has been your experience with laptops vs. desktop computers?  What would you recommend, and why?  If you live in Israel, has your experience with the lifespan of your laptop been in line with our computer repair person’s?

Avivah

The question regarding what kind of luggage to use when making aliyah is frequently asked, and since this is the week or our one year aliyah anniversary and I said I’ll be posting mostly this week about aliyah related topics, I’m going to answer it now!

We packed all of our things into Rubbermaid containers – we already had these, since this is what I used to store clothes in the attic that weren’t being used in the current season. I then packed these into larger cardboard boxes; we packed a blanket or sleeping bag around each Rubbermaid box to protect it, and it was also a great way to pack these bulky but useful items without adding much weight. (I also had the right size boxes to do this, since I liquidated my nursing pillow business when we moved and was able to use the large boxes that the pillows were shipped to me in from my manufacturer. So I didn’t spend any extra money buying either Rubbermaid boxes or cardboard packing boxes.)  One of these boxes was heavy enough on its own that we didn’t pack it inside another box, and I was anxious that it would break open or crack with the rough handling that luggage experiences in transit. We taped it well with duct tape and it was fine but not all of the containers I had were of comparable quality and I had much more peace of mind packing in the way we did.

I am so happy with how we packed! When we arrived, we didn’t have any furniture but we were able to keep things reasonably organized with the help of our plastic storage boxes. Once we got furniture, we unpacked everything, but our storage boxes still came in handy. They can be used for a variety of things; they’re sturdy, watertight, and use space efficiently. They’re also inexpensive.  These are much more expensive here than in the US, and I doubt I would have spent the money on them after arriving; I would have settled with using cardboard boxes, which aren’t nearly as efficient.  They don’t take up any extra storage space since we now use them once again in our attic for clothing storage of things not currently in use.

What about suitcases?  Suitcases are heavy and will take up a good portion of your allotted weight, so keep this in mind when you’re deciding what to do. Also, remember that Israeli homes tend to be more compact than American homes, so where will you store lots of suitcases if you choose to bring them? We knew we’d want to have a couple of suitcases once we were here for trips, and it was worth bringing them, despite the weight disadvantage.  We’ve been glad to have both suitcases we brought, but are really glad we didn’t bring more than these.

Some people like to use duffel bags, but I ended up giving away the two duffel bags that we were planning to pack in, since they were bigger than the official size, and by packing them so that the dimensions were within the limits, our things would be rattling around inside. However, they are lightweight, and if it’s something you’ll use after you move, then they can be a good option.

For our carry-on luggage, we used a combination of large backpacks – we were able to bring one of our heavy duty camping backpacks like this – and small wheeled suitcases.  This isn’t weighed but it does have to fit into the airplane’s overhead compartments, so the main criteria for this is that it fits that space.

Avivah

>>Considering all the expenses you are going through for your kids have you considered looking at changing your kupah? IT may be worth while to look at what the costs would be: For example in Maccabi – to move up to Zehav there is a monthly fee for my husband and I and for the first 3 kids after that the rest of the kids are covered.<<

Did I consider either going up to a higher level of coverage on my current health care plan, or switching to a different health care plan that would cover alternative care to some degree?  Yes.

My health care plan has discounted prices on alternative practitioners in their network if we sign up for the more expensive monthly plan.  (We don’t pay anything for regular visits to standard doctors like a pediatrician, ob, nurses, bloodword; a visit to a specialist is something like 23 shekels a quarter.)  I thought this might be very worthwhile considering how many visits we’re talking about with so many children, so I looked into it.  I was lucky in that our naturopath has been working with our health care plan for years so I was able to get specific details from her, something I found almost impossible from the secretaries.

(Here’s how the conversation there went: “Can you tell me what the benefits are of having a higher level of coverage?  “There are lots of benefits, it’s very worthwhile.”  “Yes, but can you tell me specifically what the benefits are?”  “You’ll get discounts on different things like some services and medications.”  “What medications and services will be discounted, and by how much.”  “I don’t know, but the more expensive plan is definitely worth it.”  Very difficult to get any hard facts from them to work with.)

The naturopath told me what her price after the 60% discount from having higher level coverage at the clinic would be: 130 shekel for a first time visit, then 90 shekels for subsequent visits.  This looked pretty good since I pay 220 for a first time visit.  But although the price looked much lower, it doesn’t take into account several factors.  Firstly, the clinic visit would be 40 minutes instead of 60 minutes (subsequent visits are 30 minutes each); private visits are an hour and so far she included the second follow up visit for free.  Actually, at the last visit for dd11, I was there for an hour and forty-five minutes – she takes more time if she feels it’s necessary.  At the clinic we’d pay for each visit and  she has to stick to a very strict time schedule that doesn’t allow her to spend more time with people than what is officially allotted.  She also said there are aspects of assessment that she doesn’t include at the clinic.   And when you pay privately, she’s available by phone or email if you have any questions or concerns.  Recently a doctor at the clinic gave us her number and told us to call if there was any issue with the specific child and situation – and then when we called, she got annoyed because it wasn’t during clinic hours!

As far as reflexology, privately she charges 120 shekels for a child per visit, for an hour.  It would be 93 shekels for a forty minute visit at the clinic.  And of course I’d have to pay a higher monthly insurance fee by at least 200 shekels a month to get the ‘discounted’ alternative services.

For some people having the higher level of coverage is definitely a big money saver, but each person really has to assess how much they’d spent paying out of pocket and how much they’d spend with the higher level of coverage.  For us, I appreciate the quality of private care that we’re able to get, and it’s not costing us more to have it.

Avivah