Category Archives: homeschooling

Making graduation plans

homeschooling

A couple of weeks ago I shared about our decision to have our 15 and 16 year graduate early.  In the last couple of weeks I’ve been pretty busy putting pieces in place for that to happen; one of the details we’ve been thinking about is whether they will participate in an official graduation ceremony.  Our homeschool umbrella program organizes a graduation every year, and it sounds like it will be a memorable and enjoyable event.  We have to register to participate by March 1, so this is a fairly immediate decision to make.  It will take place in June in historic Gettysburg, with Civil War era music being played by period reenactors, an address by ‘Abraham Lincoln’, in addition to another well-known speaker.  Definitely sounds more interesting and memorable than my high school graduation!

I broached the idea to my kids, and their response was, “Who needs a graduation?”  It’s interesting that the kind of things that people in school think homeschoolers are missing out on are very often just not that important to homeschoolers.  When you’re part of a system that constantly tells you that you need something, you begin to accept that as something that is your due, and feel deprived without it.  My kids haven’t heard how important graduations are, and they don’t feel it’s especially necessary.

But we decided that they’ll participate for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, I do think it’s nice to mark this transition point for them and acknowledge all that they’ve done to reach this point.  My ds16 said he hasn’t done anything, so why make a big deal of it (this is typical for him since he tends to downplay his accomplishments).  I asked him if kids in school have done something that should be noted, and he responded, yes, because they take tests. 🙄  So while I’m not a fan of testing as proof of accomplishment, I told him if he wants tests to prove some kind of accomplishment to himself, he’ll get some tests.  The things we do to make our children happy.  😆   (I’m planning to use CLEP exams for this testing which can be used towards college credits; the kids will select the exams that match the general education requirements of the degree programs they each want to enter.)

Secondly, we have family members (read: grandparents) who value accomplishments most when they match ‘the system’.  Though I don’t determine what we do academically to impress anyone or try to validate myself, in this case I think it’s important to the relationship for the kids to have what they’ve done seen as valid by their grandparents.  The math, writing, or whatever skill building/information absorbing they’ve done is of much less significance there isn’t something official that says someone says they did it.

I don’t like it, but I understand it, and I want my children to be treated with the same appreciation they have for others who have official graduations  After hearing about the graduation plans, the grandparents are excited and now telling me how smart and well-educated our kids are.  That’s not to say they didn’t feel that before, but now they’re expressing it!  And it’s especially a pleasant thing to hear since for years concerns were expressed that the kids wouldn’t learn what they need (“you’re training them to become manual laborers”) to succeed in life.

Thirdly, I think it will be fun and a nice memory for everyone!

Along with the decision to participate in the graduation comes the less significant but more interesting decisions (for the kids) as to what color gown to order for the graduation and deciding about the tassels.  (Did you know how many tassel choices there are??  You can get one color, two colors, to match the gown, contrast with the gown, then there are different charms with different finishes….)  Then I’ll order a matching leatherette diploma holder for each of them for when they receive their diplomas at the ceremony.  If I make my purchases by April 1 there’s a discount, so naturally you know I’ll be ordering before then!

(This post is part of the Carnival of Homeschooling.)

Avivah

Do you have to be ‘smart’ to homeschool?

homeschooling,

>>i have always been a a poor student myself and am scared therefore to homeschool. would you say that being “smart” is a requisite to homeschooling?<<

Does being a poor student mean that you’re not smart?  Absolutely not – I reject that!  Similarly, I reject the idea that the kind of intelligence needed to do well in school is more valuable than other kinds of intelligence.  There are many kinds of intelligence and every single person is uniquely gifted in some way. Many people did fantastically well in school but weren’t successful in life, career, relationships….  School based success is very limited.

Having said that, I understand that the question is being asked because of the insecurity that as a poor student, you might not be able to meet your child’s academic needs.  Parents who haven’t completed their high school education (sometimes only up to 8th grade education) have successfully homeschooled their children past the point that their education was completed.  If they needed to know what their children needed to learn, there’s no way they could have been successful.   I can say with confidence that you can go beyond your school experience and support your child/ren effectively and watch them thrive while homeschooling.

How so?  There are a number of options.  First of all, there are other resources out there except for you – you don’t have to know everything!  There are books, dvd programs, classes, mentors, and paid resource people.  I love the library; it’s free and has a huge variety of materials for you and your children to access. Many who did do well in high school still don’t remember the information well enough to effectively teach it to their children.  I have two children homeschooling high school now, and their interests and my strengths don’t always line up. But they aren’t limited by me and my knowledge base – I’ve encouraged them to develop  independent learning skills, and they’ve been able to explore their interests and gain skills beyond me.  (They already know not to bother asking me for help with math at this point! :))

Second of all, a fun aspect of homeschooling is that you can learn along with your children!  There’s so much to know out there and it’s ridiculous to think that anyone covered it all in four years as a teenager, no matter how high their report card grades were.  My kids are constantly sharing new things they learn with me, and as I learn new information, I share it with them.  It’s invigorating and exciting to expand your knowledge base, and being a parent doesn’t mean it’s too late to learn more.  It’s never too late!

What’s more important than your academic success in school is your willingness to tune into your child’s needs and find ways to support him.  It’s not really any different than what a parent who was ‘school smart’ needs to do.  Don’t be afraid, and don’t think you’re unusual – we all have areas we feel inadequate about.  You can homeschool and you can do a great job!

(This post is part of the Carnival of Homeschooling.)

Avivah

Making plans for college

homeschooling,

Today I finally got myself down to the community college to speak to an advisor regarding my kids.   I didn’t have a huge number of questions, but the questions I had were significant enough that it was keeping me from being able to firm up a plan.  You know, when your kids are at school, the need for parental involvement (and knowledge) can be less important since there are guidance counselors and teachers your children can turn to for college guidance.  That’s not to say that it doesn’t matter if parents are involved – of course it does! – but if your child is homeschooled and you don’t get involved, they’re really on their own. So I needed to get some clarity so I could better guide them.

Of course, since the winter semester begins really, really soon (as in tomorrow or the next day), the place was packed.  After I signed in to see an advisor, I went to wait in a room with at least thirty others.  Whew!  I used the time to read through all those handouts that I had picked up, which helped me focus my questions.   They will allow students in 8 – 10th grades in for up to two classes a semester, but they have to be labeled gifted and talented, and I’m not interested in trying to jump through the hoops to get dd labeled for that (besides the fact that I don’t really care for labels like gifted).  They allow early admittance for 11th and 12th graders, but they still would be limited to taking 2 classes a semester and as high school students, we wouldn’t be able to apply for any financial aid. At about $600 a class, paying the full costs out of pocket for two children would add up very quickly!

My initial thought was to enroll each of them for the winter semester for a couple of classes to ease them into college, but that’s not worth the effort involved at this time.   So after considering all of the options, I asked the advisor if they officially graduated at the end of this year, if they could be admitted as full time students in the fall.  She said that it was fine, that once a child has a high school diploma, they aren’t concerned about his/her age anymore.

This doesn’t make a huge difference to their homeschooling schedules, which will pretty much stay the same except that I’ll increase the science and history for them so that they have the full amount of required credits for high school graduation.  It does mean I need to get myself in gear to start organizing the paperwork – I don’t enjoy officially documenting all that we do!  But I’ll need to put all my notes together for their official transcripts.  I’m also thinking that they can both look into earning credit by examination between now and the fall if they are so inclined, and then when they enter, they’ll have some credits under their belts. That will help them maximize their time and energy.

Though this isn’t written in stone and things can (and probably will) change somewhat, it’s nice to have a direction to move in.  Now dd13 is asking me to help her get started on college preparatory work – yikes!

Avivah

Free group violin lessons

frugal strategies, homeschooling

Music lessons are so pricey that I mentally categorize them as  ‘nice but luxury’, and as such, aren’t in my budget.  But H-shem has been very good to us and provided the means for three children to take piano and now another two to experience violin!

Today I took my ds3 and ds7 to a group violin lesson for children ages 4 – 7.  The teacher gives private lessons but very generously is providing this as a free service.  I thought ds7 would especially appreciate the opportunity, but took ds3 (he’ll be four in three months) along after speaking to a friend who has several kids who have played string instruments to get her opinion about if that was too young.

Violins come in lots of sizes, some very tiny, so they can be appropriately sized for young children.  I’m not a parent who is driven to get my kids to perform at a young age in any way, but this seemed like a fun opportunity and I was glad to access this for them.  We joined a number of children and their parents today at the home of the very nice teacher, who lives locally. In the 45 minute lesson, they were fitted with the right size violin (ds3 – 1/10, ds7 – 1/4), learned the names of all the parts, how to hold it at rest, how to hold it to play, how to take a bow, the names of the four notes, and learned two short and simple songs.  It was a lot!

Ds3 was tired (today it took place in the early afternoon, when he usually is napping) and I’m not going to predict if he’ll maintain ongoing interest, but I’ll keep taking him as long as he’s interested.  Ds7 is ready for something like this and I think it will be a great opportunity for him especially.

The teacher would like to start with a large number of children, knowing that many will lose interest and drop out within a short time. That way, she’ll be left with enough children who are interested to continue the group.  I received an email from her after the lesson saying that since a couple of people who had reserved spots didn’t come, she has space for two more kids.  I wanted to share this with those of you in my area who might be interested.

Before you email me for info, here are the conditions to participate: you have to come promptly on time – 5 pm on Sunday. You need to come every week; if you can’t make it, you need to notify her in advance.  You can miss one lesson, but if you miss more than that, you’ll need to pay her to give your child a private lesson so he can be at the same level at the rest of the class.  An adult needs to stay with the child during the lesson, and it needs to be the same parent every week (ie no switching off).  You have to either buy or rent an instrument for your child to use (rental price is $20 a month).  The group is geared for kids ages 4 – 7 (my ds7 is the oldest).  If after reading all of that you’re interested, either email me at the address above shown in the ‘Contact Me’ section or use my personal email address if you already have it, and I’ll send you the contact information so you can be in touch with the teacher directly.

People have sometimes expressed to me the feeling that I have some kind of ‘luck’ in finding great prices or opportunities, but good things are waiting for every one of us every day; the challenge is in recognizing them and taking action!

Avivah

When to push child

homeschooling, parenting

>>And another big topic that comes to mind is — when do we push children to take on something that is hard for them, and when do we let them make their own decision on whether or not they want to pursue a certain area? Examples in my family: one daughter decided to drop out of a class she was taking. Another daughter would rather not study a certain subject that I feel is important. Etc.<<

I’ve had this dilemma a number of times over the years in our homeschooling.  The choice I’ve come to is that I’ll insist on something if a) I know it’s something they need and they’ll later be disadvantaged; b) it’s something that they won’t need but will regret not having the skills for later on.

The first tends to affect academic type issues – I want my kids to have the skills to navigate life successfully.  There are things that I think are important to that goal – for example, because I feel that strong reading, writing, and math skills are an asset and a person is disadvantaged without it, I’ll insist on this regardless of whether a child wants to do it or not.  However, I’m very flexible about at what age I expect a child to do certain level work.  I also try to help the kids find ways to impart the information in as enjoyable way as possible.  So insisting doesn’t mean making a child miserable and being rigid.  There’s a lot of flexibility and personalizing that goes along with this.

So let’s say a young child hates writing.  I’ll back off this and let it be for a while – this means knowing your child and paying attention to their cues.  I did this with ds7 and he’s just now finishing the lettering for the ABC.    I know the readiness wasn’t there before this and pushing wasn’t going to help and probably would be damaging.  But with some time, the resistance generally fades and the readiness builds.  At that point I’ll start them off slow and pay attention to how it’s going for the child in question.

To do this, you have to be confident that 1) your child wants to learn and 2) will learn when given the chance, or you’ll get hung up on what kids in school are up to and put yourself and your child under lots of unnecessary pressure.  This gets easier to do with time, but is sometimes agonizing the in the beginning, as you’re going out on faith that the principles of true education and relationship building will work before the results are there.  At this point it’s much easier for me since I’ve gone through this so many times, and seen that in the end they get where you want them to be- happily.

The second area to think about pushing is regarding things that they don’t need to do, like lessons you sign them up for in the spirit of fun.  Years ago my ds16 had an unpleasant experience at swim lessons (at age eight) and refused to go back.  I didn’t see the point of pushing it, and since he continued to be resistant to the idea over the years, he didn’t go back for lessons.  It would have been a mistake to make him go back right away, because it really was a frightening and unnerving situation he was put in.  But looking back I think there was a point where I could have encouraged – pushed – him to try lessons again, maybe two years after the initial trauma.  I didn’t, though, because I was unsure about how much to push, and now despite the fact that he’s an extremely athletic young man, his swimming skills remain weak.

Several months ago ds10 told me he wanted to quit piano lessons.  I grappled with this, since this isn’t something he needs to be able to do long term.  After asking him why he wanted to stop (answer: he wasn’t progressing at the rate he wanted because he wasn’t putting in enough practice time), I told him that he needed to continue and to find time to practice more frequently so he’d see progress.  How did I decide on this?

Aquiring competence is a discipline – it’s wonderful to play music well, but it doesn’t happen by itself.  I know that, but he doesn’t.  I didn’t want him to give up and years later, instead of a skill he would have taken pleasure from would be the memory of giving up.  I told him that he didn’t have to stay with it if he didn’t like it, but that I didn’t want him to quit without really making a fair effort.   He’s now really enjoying piano and is very glad he didn’t quit.  He had a recital last week and is at the beginning intermediate level, now able to play simple classical compositions and performed duets with each of his sisters in addition to his own two pieces, and gets so much satisfaction from it.

Again, it’s critical to know your child.  A general tip I would say is, if you’re feeling the desire to push because you feel fearful, then wait.

Avivah

Old time radio shows

homeschooling

Years ago I became aware of a wonderful resource, a website that offers free downloads of old time radio shows.  At some point we stopped listening to them, I don’t remember why.   In any case, recently I remembered about them and checked their site.  This week they have three winter time stories available to listen to and/or download – an adaptation of The Long Winter (Laura Ignalls Wilder), The Great Blizzard of 1888 (a true story about the huge blizzard that shut down NYC), and Sgt. Preston and the Dachshund, a fun fictional story taking place in the Yukon.

Dd7 and ds9 have enjoyed all three of these this week.  The older kids liked them as well, but they weren’t around when I put them on for the middles.  These radio shows for the most part were done in the 1940s and 1950 and are a nice homeschooling resource.  At that time entertainment and inculcating good morals went hand and hand, which is nice to listen to and markedly different from what passes as entertainment nowadays.

Here’s a link for the shows.  Enjoy!

Avivah

Tuition crisis

homeschooling,

>>Btw, here comes a serious question re: tuition — I would love to hear what you think. Do you believe that sometime soon – in time for my kids highschool (Avivah’s note – kids are currently in 3/4th grade)– the Rabbis/community leaders will come up with the solution for Tution Crisis and schools will become affordable?<<

Well, to be very honest – no, I don’t think that the the light in the tuition crisis tunnel is going to show any time soon.

Too many people are acting as if this crisis came out of nowhere, as if it’s related to the recent downturn in the economy.  It didn’t.  It’s been steadily building and has been absolutely predictable.  How can you possibly expect every person in a community to be able to afford to send their children to private school, particularly when family sizes are larger than the norm?  It’s not realistic to expect a community across the board to have the earning power of the top 2% of Americans, and in order to pay full tuition, that’s what’s necessary.

And because so many people can’t afford to pay full tuition, one very short sighted part of the ‘solution’ has been to raise the tuition to bring in more money.  Then it creates more of a snowball effect since those who are high enough earners continue to pay full tuition, but more people are pushed into needing scholarship assistance.  The financial discrepancy has to be carried by someone, and as the gap between institutional outlay and income increase, the community coffers aren’t covering it.  To solve this problem, there has to be a viable way to close that gap for the long term.

While I understand that parents are overly burdened and feel that schools need to be supported by the community (not just parents), increasing fundraising efforts in the community isn’t going to work, in my opinion.  People with kids in school are already maxed out, those without kids aren’t likely to make schooling a top priority for their charity dollars, and those whose kids are out of school deserve to be able to put their money towards their other expenses (college/seminary expenses, weddings, retirement).  I don’t see it as realistic to reach outside of the religious community for this, either.  There are just so many causes to support, and we can’t expect everyone to make the schools a priority.  And not everyone will see the schools as a necessity.  After all, while you have an obligation to teach your child Torah, there are other ways to accomplish that than to send your child to school.

Until there are indications that those ‘at the top’ are willing to think outside of the box, I just can’t see how change is going to come from there.  Doing what we’ve done has gotten us where we are, and continuing to do the same thing is going to make everything better?  I don’t think so!  Wishful thinking and pulling the wool over our own eyes isn’t going to bring us solutions.

Change is only going to come from the bottom up, as a grass roots effort. Different questions will result in different answers, and we need to start asking different questions.  Every family has to think about how they can meet their child’s educational needs without bankrupting themselves, instead of focusing on how to pay yeshiva tuition.    Do you see how you can generate some different answers by thinking about the issue differently?  As a community we’ve got to start asking some new questions!

I also believe that as families stop being so afraid of doing something different than everyone, that’s when we’ll see some change happening, as it will be the beginning of a positive snowball.  But everyone is just so afraid to be the first one to do something different!  Once a person takes responsibility for their choices, it stops being so critical what everyone else is doing and how they’re doing it, because you can enjoy the peace of mind that you’re taking care of your childrens’ needs.  The reality is that it’s the parents who are responsible for their child’s education, regardless of where and how they school them.

Unfortunately, it tends to be those who feel desperate who are willing to do what needs to be done – and I say unfortunately, because it’s so much more pleasant to avoid falling into the hole in the first place than to dig yourself out. Why wait to be miserable to make a change that will benefit you?

I had plenty of fears when I considered beginning to homeschool – I felt like I was jumping off a plane without a parachute!  Then I did it, and I can honestly say that the hardest part was making the decision to do it.  I’ve never looked back and I’m so, so, so glad that we had the courage to make that decision then, when there really was technically no reason pushing us to it (only inner conviction).  It’s literally changed our lives by providing a framework for a high quality of life that includes lots of relaxed time together as a family.  I look around at all the stress, the rushing, the stress! – and I am so grateful to be able to minimize that in our lives.  This way of life doesn’t require a high income; what it requires is being willing to make a change.

Avivah

Child care arrangements for Torah Home Education Conference

homeschooling,

I just posted this on the international list serve for Torah homeschoolers, but since last year more of you who attended were blog readers than from there (and some of those I know are interested in coming aren’t on that list), I thought it would be appropriate to post here as well.  For those of you who are on that list serve, sorry about the redundancy!  Feel free to pass details to interested friends.

********************

The arrangements for the upcoming conference are coming along beautifully!  We have amazing speakers who are being lined up and you are going to get so much from every single one of them!  If you can come, you’ll be very glad you did – it will be a day packed with inspiration, encouragement, and fellowship – you won’t want to miss it!  (Can you tell I’m excited?: lol:)

To accomodate those of you traveling from out of the area with children, we’ll be having a day camp for children ages 4 – 10, with activities including swimming (swimming will be segregated, of course).  There will be a fee per child to cover the expenses involved, but as with everything else, this isn’t a money making endeavor and the fee will be as low as possible.  When it’s closer to the conference I’ll be able to give an accurate figure regarding the price.

We’ll also be hosting a teen girls gathering (ages 11 – 17), with swimming, basketball, and ping pong available, in addition to puzzles and board games.  And just hanging out and getting to know each other, of course!  No fee.

I still need to firm up some details regarding child care for infants 0 – 3, but will b’ezras H-shem that will also be available. There will be an hourly fee per child for this service, which will be done by a licensed staff and facilities in the building where the conference will be held.

So if child care is an issue, hopefully this will help out!  One of my goals is to build a sense of community among the homeschooled kids as well as among the homeschooling parents, and I think this will help kids to not only get to know others who homeschool, but help them feel less ‘different’.

Feel free to contact me if you’re interested in coming. You can check out the website – http://jewishhomeschooling.wordpress.com for price details, discount on hotels, and when the workshop schedule is ready, I’ll post it there in addition to here.

Trust me – you are NOT going to want to miss this!!

Avivah

How to make butter

food preservation, frugal strategies, homeschooling,

I got a great buy on organic cream a week and a half ago, and this morning I decided to show the kids how to turn it into butter.  This is a fun and simple activity for  kids of all ages, two and up – it’s like magic to see cream turn into butter before their eyes!

All you need is heavy cream and a container with a lid.  I used a glass jar, but if you’re going to let a two year old do this, use a plastic jar, like an empty mayonnaise jar with a tight fitting lid. You can even use a disposable water bottle – it doesn’t really matter, as long as it’s something that will close tightly and be easy for your child to handle.

Pour a cup of heavy cream into the container, making sure not to fill the container more than half way, and tightly close the lid.  Hand it to your child and tell them to shake it until it turns into butter.  That’s it.  🙂  At first the cream will become whipped cream – we stopped and let them taste at this point.  Then as they continue shaking it, it will form a solid ball as the liquid separates.  This takes a lot of shaking – great to use up some little kid energy!

If you’ve used a narrow plastic container like a water bottle, cut it open (since the ball of butter obviously won’t fit through the opening); otherwise just open the container and pour out the liquid. Reserve the liquid to use for soaking flour or grains; pour out the butter and put it in a closed container in the fridge.

We gave each of our kids a small container to put the finished butter in, and after smoothing it into the container, they marked their butter with their initial.  I let my ds7 and ds3 make this first, and everyone else was so interested that they asked if they could also make some.  It’s a good thing I bought a lot of cream!  For the first batch we didn’t add salt, but I told the kids who wanted to make it afterwards that they could decide if they wanted to salt theirs, and choose the kind of salt and proportions they wanted to use.

My kids were wondering if it was cheaper to make butter than to buy it, so naturally I told them to figure it out.  🙂   But I’ll do the math for you.  😀  A pint of heavy cream yields a half pound of butter.  Since I bought the cream at the low price of .79, our homemade organic butter comes out to 1.58 lb, which is cheaper than regular non-organic butter (which is what I usually buy).

Enjoy!

Avivah

Unschooling and the role of limits

homeschooling, parenting

>>the question, and your answers made me think about unschooling, as sort of a polar opposites, and how both hope to produce the same sort of person at the end. I’m curious how you view the ‘no rules, just principles’ aspect of radical unschooling… allowing children to pursue what they find they want to, without limits (I am not including hurting themselves, or running in traffic, or other dangerous things like that) and not requiring behaviors/chores of them. I’m sure I don’t completely understand the theory, so I’m having trouble encapsulating it here. When reading on it, I get the impression that rules/limits are damaging a child, emotionally.<<

The term ‘unschooling’ was coined by John Holt, who wrote several books on education.  His definition can be summed up here. I’ve read all of John Holt’s books and he doesn’t advocate educating children without guidance, limits, or saying ‘no’.  In fact, one of the first things I ever read about homeschooling was in Mothering magazine – it was an article by a homeschooling mother whose family was close to John and tried her best to integrate using his principles.  In that article, she described how he helped her daughter understand the mathematical concepts she was then struggling with.  He didn’t tell her that her daughter shouldn’t be learning math because she was frustrated and didn’t want to!  What he did was try to connect with her desire to learn and provided guidance according to her learning style.

The unwillingness to provide any structure/guidance/limits is where my main disagreement with radical unschooling lies.  While I know of several families who unschool and are bringing up lovely families, every one of them has clear guidelines and expectations, sometimes in the academic arena but definitely in other areas.  They don’t have a laissez faire, let the kids do whatever they want, when they want mentality that is part and parcel of radical unschooling.  Unfortunately the definition of unschooling has been co-opted by radical elements of the homeschooling world and it’s become very confusing to sift through the variances in different approaches.

To quote something I once heard on a parenting cassette: “Discipline without love is harsh.  Love without discipline is child abuse.”  I think that parents who won’t say ‘no’ to their children are misguided and harming their children in the short and long term, but one person’s opinion really is of minimal value.  What matters is what are the results these parents are getting?  Are parents who raise their children without boundaries raising giving, kind, and concerned individuals who are making the world a better place?  (When I read this  article six months ago, I saved it to share here –  it’s relevant to this discussion now so don’t skip reading it!)  Start paying attention to the families you see – look for parents with older kids because that’s when you see the long term results of a particular parenting approach.

Life inherently has limitations. Being a religious Jew means limitations – we live a life structured by G-d’s rules, and true freedom paradoxically comes with structure.  Otherwise you become a slave to your own desires, and that’s the farthest thing from freedom!  While unschooling can be compatible with Torah, radical unschooling can not.  I’ve said again and again that you must lovingly set and clarify boundaries – because there have to be limits.

A person must have some guidelines in life except doing whatever they feel like, when they feel like it, how they feel like it.  It’s wonderful to follow your passion, but kids who haven’t learned some inner discipline won’t be able to sustain the necessary effort to follow through – and success in any field requires effort.  Even when you don’t feel like it.

Avivah