Avivah Werner

Category: Intentional Spending

  • Make a menu based on your pantry

    >>Do you plan your menus from the sale flyers in advance, or buy the sale items and then come up with a menu after?<<

    I’ve written about menu planning, and I’ve written about shopping to fill your pantry.  I do both.  But I suggest something else that I rarely see advocated, but is very advantageous to your food bill.

    Most people make their menu, and then plan their shopping list.  And that’s really good – it’s a huge step above what most people do, which is to not plan much at all.  But what I like to do is stock my fridge, freezer, and pantry first.  I buys lots of whatever is a good price, buy a variety of fruits and vegetables (no pricey non seasonal veggies), and whatever else rounds out my basic pantry list for the month.  (I’ll try to share a list of what I try to stock my pantry with another time.)  Then, and only then, I make my menu, by looking at whatever I already have in the house.

    How does this help?  Firstly, you’ll always have the ingredients you need on hand – you know you have them, and that’s why you planned each particular meal!  Secondly, and more importantly, is that you are always eating sale priced items.  Let’s say that thanks to buying only sale items, your monthly discounts on groceries average out to 30% less than what you would have paid at full price.  That means that you are either a) saving 30% of what you would have otherwise spent, or that b) you’re spending the same monthly total on food, but getting 30% food more than you could have otherwise, which can last you 5.5 weeks instead of 4.  That adds up to a big difference, don’t you think?

    Some of you may object, saying that you can’t buy a lot of what you need ahead of time.  But I think running out daily for milk and bread is a habit more than anything.  And then people get used to it and can’t imagine shopping differently.  But even items like bread and milk can be purchased in advance.  Bread can easily be frozen and then defrosted before needed, or toasted if you prefer.  Milk can also be frozen, and if you’re not buying raw milk, then the consistency when you defrost it will be the same as before it was frozen.  Raw milk is fine to freeze, too, but the consistency changes – the cream will be in tiny chunks.  Meat and chicken can stay good in the fridge for several days, in the freezer for a lot longer.  Fish is kept the same as the chicken or meat.  Cottage cheese, ricotta cheese, butter, yogurt, and hard cheese can be frozen (I’ll do a separate post soon on some specific suggestions for freezing hard cheeses), and all of them easily stay good in the fridge for at least a week.  Don’t freeze sour cream, though – I tried this recently and when it defrosted, it was liquid.  So I used it for cream style grits for breakfast. 🙂

    Root vegetables (potatoes, sweet potatoes, cabbage, carrots, parsnips, turnips, rutabagas) can all be easily stored in the winter without refrigeration.  Fresh vegetables that are more perishable don’t need to be purchased more than once a week. And of course, frozen vegetables are nutritionally pretty good and can be bought much more than a week ahead.  Winter fruits store well in cold weather, too, like apples, pear, and citrus.  If you like to buy fruits out of season, then just refrigerate them.

    So buying food ahead shouldn’t be too hard – just shop the sales, and stock up.  It’s a different way of thinking about shopping, and will take some time to get a full variety of pantry items stocked, but not nearly as long as you think.

    Avivah

  • National Wholesale Liquidators – going out of business

    My husband told me last night that National Wholesale Liquidators is going out of business – his coworker told him that he got a bunch of stuff at great prices.  Well, I don’t like to shop just because there’s a sale, but if there’s something on my ongoing list of things to keep an eye open for, then I’ll get it.  So this afternoon, I headed over to check things out.

    The store was getting to be pretty well cleaned out, and I wasn’t incredibly impressed with the deals.  Then again, I’ve developed an attitude of only buying things that I need, not lots of cutesie tootsie things, so most of the things I wouldn’t buy even if they were almost free.  Actually, if they were giving it away I wouldn’t want it if I didn’t have a use for it.  But, a couple of aisles down, I found something I do use, canning lids – they looked untouched, unlike most of the shelves in the aisle that were mostly empty.  At 40% off, I figured it would be worth getting some, and it was – the regular mouth lids were .89 a dozen, the wide mouth lids were 1.19 a dozen.  It’s the kind of thing that I’d buy all they had if I could, but it gets expensive pretty quickly, so I only bought about 12 dozen small and 8 dozen of the large.  I’ll check in there again in a few weeks and see if they mark them down anymore. 

    Then I got a couple of kerosene hurricane lamps.  Just last night I ordered some oil lamp converters (I’ll tell you more about them when they get here), so I didn’t really need many of these lamps, even though they were just $2 each.  I bought 10 bottles of torch fuel at $2 each (I’ll check if there’s more of that in a few weeks, too), after calling the company I bought the oil lamp converters from – they said that kerosene and oil can be used interchangeably in the same lamps, just the wick has to be changed between uses.  That was good to know, since I have no experience with these things and didn’t want to buy something that wouldn’t be of any use.  I’ll  keep them as backup lighting for emergencies and to take camping.

    I bought 116 packets of vegetable seeds.  Yes, really.  I’ll have to really expand my garden this year to use all of that!  Well, I’m such a lousy gardener that I won’t have to expand it the way someone who was more competent would, since I seem to have to plant a lot to get a tiny yield.  They were .07 each, and I couldn’t resist; I’ve been looking at seed catalogs online, and though I’d love to only buy open pollinated varieties, it’s not cheap.  I also got canvas and heavy duty work gloves, 8 pairs total.  My husband informed me when I told him what I got that we already have enough work gloves.  Oh, well. 

    Then I found a menorah for my dd14 for next year ($4), and Chanuka candles for .15 and .23 a box, depending on the company.  I bought 20 boxes since at that price it was worth it to stock up for the next couple of years.  🙂  I bought the girls a bunch of ponytail holders – they were 70% off and someone always seems to need something around here, so I figured I’ll get enough that we won’t have to think about running out for a long, long time, like until their daughters come visit and want to use some.  🙂

    Otherwise it was mostly small odds and ends, like a couple of can openers and 4 multi purpose tools; even with all the discounts, I ended up spending more than I would like.  But my dh was glad I got things that we’ll need and use, and he thought it was all very reasonable.  It was really interesting to see what was sold out and what wasn’t touched – I obviously have different taste than most people, since the things I was interested in all had full shelves.

    While I’m not recommending any one store over another, if in your area you have stores that are drastically discounting their prices right now, use this opportunity to buy things that will be useful later on.  But don’t buy things you don’t really need just because it’s ‘such a great deal!’.

    Avivah

  • Slash your food bills with reduced produce!

    I’m overdue on my monthly shopping – I should have gone last week (didn’t because I don’t like to shop at crowded holiday times and I almost always go on Tuesday or Wednesday); and because we have the monthly homeschooling gathering on the day that I planned to go this week, I’m pushing off our trip for one more week – my kids really enjoy it and I don’t want them to miss it.  That means it will be six weeks since I did any shopping, so I needed to a bit more careful than usual when planning this week’s this week’s menu since I usually have more vegetables to work with.  The advantage of this long stretch between shopping trips is that my freezer is getting empty and it will be easy to find room for whatever I buy next week.  The disadvantage is that my freezer is getting empty and it will be easy to find room for whatever I buy next week.  🙂

    This morning I popped out to get some things to hold us over until the big shopping trip.  Officially I restart my food budget on the 15th of each month, but I really prefer to do the big shopping first and then add to what I need after that (which usually is very minimal, if anything), so though usually I wouldn’t go out for a little trip like this at the beginning of my shopping period, I decided to reverse things for this week.

    I got four dozen eggs and some milk (we only have a couple of gallons left in the freezer and were totally out of eggs – I can’t remember how many months it’s been since I ran out of eggs), plus some cheese (this is something I never can find kosher at my bargain shopping stores anyway) and then stopped at the vegetable store.  My veggies are the area that I’m really low at this point and I absolutely can’t wait another week.  It’s a privately owned store, and I go first thing in the morning when all of the discounted produce is out.  This morning I spent $27.30, and got a shopping cart full of stuff – here’s an approximate rundown: 17 lb bananas, 43 lb vegetables (this is mostly tomatoes, onions – purple and white, mostly; baby potatoes, a couple of zucchini and carrots, parsnips, eggplant), 2 heads of celery .79 each, 7 heads of cauliflower, at .39 each (usually 1.99 each).  The bananas and most of the vegetables were .29 a pound, the tomatoes were .49, and the eggplant was my big splurge at .69 a lb.  🙂  So that worked out to about 72 pounds of produce, not including the cauliflower, which I plan to stretch for another week – we use a lot of veggies.  🙂  That does sound a little monotonous and I probably should have gotten some carrots and cabbage, but together with the sweet potatoes and potatoes that I still have plenty of, I think we’ll do fine.  Oh, and I do have some corn and green beans in the freezer.  And some oranges and grapefruits, plus some frozen blueberries. 

    You might think that this is moldy and half rotten produce if it’s so cheap, but it’s really not.  The bananas are ripe, but not overripe or mushy.  They aren’t even speckled yet.  But they aren’t green like the full price bananas.  I’ll keep them in closed plastic bags to delay them ripening and they’ll easily last until next week (if my kids can restrain themselves that long!).   The tomatoes are ripe, but not mushy.  The cauliflower doesn’t look super fresh, but only one of them has a small place that will need to be cut off.  Basically, produce has a short shelf life, and when a new shipment comes in, all the stuff sitting on the shelf has to be sold quickly or thrown away.  Selling it quickly for a discount makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?

    And on top of saving money when you shop like this, there’s the fun of the cashier’s disbelieving voice when he/she tells your total and sees your cart loaded up for a fraction of what he expects.  It  never fails.  🙂 

    Avivah

  • Defining frugality

    As a sign of the times, a local magazine just came out with an article about how to save money.  And it was interesting to note two things: a) most of the suggestions were nice but weren’t going to radically change anyone’s financial situation (eg – occasionally don’t have your cleaning help come in and do the cleaning yourself); and b) no one interviewed for their tips wanted to use their name, other than the shopping maven who buys designer suits for $400 instead of $1200.  This got me thinking about why people are embarrassed to identify themselves publicly as practicing frugality, and how differently I view frugality.

    I think a lot of people equate saving money and frugality with doing without, being low class and needy, and being cheap or a skinflint.  Who wants to proudly call themselves cheap, when it carries such a strongly negative connotation?  Not me, and obviously everyone interviewed who wouldn’t share their name must have somehow shared this association with saving money.  

    However, I love having a frugal lifestyle and am very comfortable talking about it, because to me, frugality is not about being cheap at all.  Being frugal means being able to create a lifestyle where you can have all that is important to you, without compromising other things that are important to you.  People many years ago had a lot less materially than we do today, and do you think that we’re a significantly happier generation than all of those past were?  Statistics actually show the opposite, but the point is that having more stuff doesn’t equate well with being happy, even though those who make their living in marketing would like us to think so!

    It can be a challenge, living well within your means and not feeling deprived, but the challenge is mental more than anything.  Living within your means is not about deprivation and doing without.  Living frugally is about clarifying what really matters to you, assessing what gives you joy, and then making choices every day that support that.  It’s about attitude – do you feel sorry for yourself that you don’t have what it seems everyone around you has, or do you feel good to have a clear vision of what you feel is most important, and honor that every time you spend money?   

    For example, it’s a huge value for my husband and I that our children are raised by us, and that they have a full time stay home parent.  So we gladly forgo the supposed benefits of having two incomes (very overrated and a myth that could stand to be debunked) because we have so much more pleasure from raising our family than having a few dollars more each month.  It’s a value for us to have the money to buy what we want, so I don’t mind sometimes waiting a month or more for larger purchases if that’s when the cash will be available.  Basically, we spend our money in a way that supports our values, and that’s a good feeling.

    When you can find fun wherever you are, and enjoy all that you have to the fullest, that’s being frugal.  It’s not about doing without – it’s about identifying what really matters to you and finding ways to achieve that, while staying in your budget.  It’s exciting and fun to live within your means, and to live well!  Our family can squeeze enjoyment about of a small trip or activity, a special food or – well, anything, really!

    So much of living outside of our means is about trying to impress others, and just as often, trying to impress ourselves.  When we define ourselves by what we have instead of who we are, there’s a feeling of inadequacy.  We can never have enough, because no matter what we have, it doesn’t give us value.  So people keep spending, trying to push away that feeling of inadequacy.  We’ve become a society of people focused on how we look, rather than our character.

    There’s so much joy in living without the burden of debt, of not having to keep up appearances to impress others (with the internal knowledge that the lifestyle we present to the world is a house of cards), that I wince to hear those in debt say that they’d hate to have to count every penny, to budget – because it’s clear they haven’t made the connection between the emotional and financial stress they regularly feel and the way they spend money. 

    Avivah

  • Hot water bottles

    Last night I gave all of my kids a Chanuka present – their own hot water bottles!  Now, this isn’t a very glamorous gift, and I didn’t expect incredible enthusiasm, but I thought they’d appreciate them.  I was so wrong.

    They loved them!  Two of the kids told me it’s the ‘best Chanuka present ever’!  All of them used them right away, took them to bed with them, and walked around all day with them.  And it’s not even so cold inside or outside right now – I think they like the snuggly coziness of it.  My two year old saw them and started asking for his own hot water bottle (I did buy enough for everyone in the family, but I think he’s a little young to have his very own).   I didn’t end up making the individualized fabric covers that I planned, and when I mentioned it, the kids said they don’t want covers.  They like having it against them.  They each wrote their names on their bottle with a Sharpie marker (I was thinking about the covers as a way to distinguish one from another – I’m glad my kids simplified this so much for me). 

    I bought them because I thought it would be good to have a low technology way to stay warm.  Dh and I used them for years when we lived overseas, with little heat and in a stone apartment with no insulation.  They came in very handy.  But somehow over time, the one we had disappeared, and we replaced it with an electric heating pad, since we couldn’t find hot water bottles locally.  But I’ve never been totally comfortable with the heating pad, and when I was thinking about various things I could do on a low budget to help everyone stay warm through the winter, this idea popped into my mind.  Fortunately, we’re not limited by location anymore, and can buy what we need on the internet, so I got ten of them from an ebay seller at a very reasonable price. 

    (I also used to find hot water bottles very useful when pregnant and having lower back pain.)

    Avivah

  • The first night of Chanukah and my present 🙂

    Last night was the first night of Chanuka, and sooo nice!  We had eight different menorahs being lit, and gave our six year old his gift – the new menorah – before lighting so he could use it.  He was so excited – it was very sweet to watch him; he kept going back to it after he lit and stroking and touching it.  After we light the menorahs, we sing, and then my husband dances together with all of the kids; it’s been our ritual for many years, at least since my oldest was three.  Then we give presents, if there are any to give that night.

    The kids and my husband all liked the taffeta gift bags that I made to put the gifts in – most of them hadn’t seen them yet.  We try to organize things so that on each night, each person doesn’t get more than one gift, everyone gets one, and everyone gets to give one.  That’s a lot more complicated than it sounds because of the number of people involved – last year I remember thinking seriously about making a chart to keep track of who was doing what, each night!

    But this year because we’re simplifying even more than usual, the kids haven’t gotten each other too much, which is good.  My oldest son, 15, gave me my Chanuka present from him last night – a beautiful solar oven!  He’s spent 20 – 30 hours building it – I knew he was building it, but I had no idea how nice it would be.  When he initially asked if there was a link of what I wanted that he could look at, I gave him a site to check out (http://www.cookwiththesun.com/solar.htm – the oven at the top of the page).  But he made some improvements that really added to the look of it, like making an adjustable prop for the lid, painting the outside black, and building a bumper so if the lid slammed, the mirror wouldn’t break (important keeping in mind how things go around here :)).

    When we redid our kitchen last year, we replaced our regular oven with a double oven, each of which is much smaller than a standard oven, and my turkey roaster no longer fit.  I didn’t give it away, though, because in the back of my mind I thought it would be the perfect pan for a solar oven since it’s black (the recommended pot color for solar cooking because it absorbs heat).   That was the pan he based the size of the oven on – most solar ovens are too small for our needs.

    He recycled as many materials as possible – the plywood came from the neighbors who remodelled their basement three months ago, the plexiglass for the lid from my inlaws (it wasn’t quite the right size, so he built a frame for it so it would fit), the mirror was one we had in the house that we weren’t using, and the insulation was newspaper and cardboard.  He used some leftover black foam pipe insulation to frame the top lid. The main costs were: black bbq paint – $8, aluminum flashing for the interior – $8, aluminum tape – $3.50, hinges – $3, and having the mirror cut down to the size we needed – $10.  He’s planning to put wheels on the bottom, since it’s pretty heavy, due to the weight of the wood, glass, and mirror.  So whatever that costs will get added to the total, but in any case, it’s a bargain!   (If you’ve ever priced solar ovens, you’ll understand how pricey they can be.)

    Today was freezing – the wind chill factor brought it down to below zero early this morning when the boys walked to shul (synagogue), and though it warmed up slightly, it wasn’t exactly a toasty day.  Since there was sunlight, the kids wanted to try out the solar oven, despite the low temps. I don’t know why they decided to fry an egg, but it wasn’t the best choice – slow cooking is the watchword for solar cooking, and frying eggs is a quickie dish.  The cooker steamed up and the edges of the egg cooked, but it was so cold that the kids quickly lost the desire to go outside and readjust the mirror so it was angled toward the sun (since obviously the sun is always moving), so the egg didn’t end up fully cooked.  Like I said, it wasn’t the best day or best food to try to cook, but we’ll try again when it’s a little warmer.  For the sake of the people involved, not the cooker – apparently what matters is that the sun is out, not the temperature of the air.

    I wanted a solar cooker for when the weather is hot, because it seems like a shame to have all that natural energy of the sun wasted, and have the house heated up when extra heat is the last thing you want (unlike today, when we wouldn’t have minded extra heat!)  I also like the idea of having a back up cooking source that isn’t dependent on store bought fuel.  When it gets warmer, we’ll get busy experimenting!

    And as nice a present as it was (and it really is nice!), what touched me most was the love and thought my son put into it, to make something I would enjoy and appreciate.

    Avivah

  • Gifts in a jar

    My kids were brainstorming things they could give their grandparents for Chanukah, and finally decided to make them food gifts in a jar.  Since one set of grandparents are trying to avoid sugar, it knocked all their plans for homemade breads, cakes, and jams out of running.  So they needed to think more creatively.

    Today they decided on holiday bean soup mix, and cornbread mix. They layered ten different kinds of beans in a quart sized jar, and are going to prepare the seasoning mix and put it in the top in a small plastic bag.  On top of the jar, they wrote the name of the recipe, and then instructions for how to prepare it.  When their grandparents are ready to have it, they’ll have to soak the beans overnight, then throw all the ingredients together with a can of tomatoes, and they’ll have a nice healthy and filling pot of soup.

    For the cornbread mix, the kids mixed all the ingredients but eggs and oil together (using powdered milk instead of regular for this purpose), and again, wrote up instructions and taped them to the top of the jars.  The jars look very pretty and I think that they’ll be enjoyed.

    For the jars, I used some jars that I recycled from matza ball soup and gefilte fish (I put them aside a couple of months ago, thinking they might be useful for holiday gifts).  When I first washed them out and noticed that the jars were’t the size of a standard canning jar, I thought that it seemed like a waste (a lot of spaghetti sauce and mayo jars are).  But then I realized they’d be perfect for gifts in a jar, and I wouldn’t have to give away the canning jars that are so useful for me but which would probably be thrown away by the recipients after one use.

    If this is something that interests you, there are loads of possibilities out there!  You can make drink mixes – coffee, tea, cocoa; soup mixes (with dehydrated veggies added, or with instructions to add the vegetables afterwards); cake or cookie mixes; candies (I love the idea of making candy – like fudge and sour cream walnuts – but think it’s almost unfair to give anyone something so irresistably good :)).  And if you know how to can things, then you can give canned soups or stews that are ready to eat.

    Food gifts are nice because they are useful, attractive, and are appreciated by just about everyone, particularly when dietary concerns are taken into account.  It also doesn’t confer a huge feeling of reciprocal obligation by the recipient – it’s not a very expensive gift, despite being attractive and being enjoyed so much!

    One son is starting to make some cinnamon rolls right now – I have an amazingly good recipe that I think my mom will love.  Another daughter is brainstorming more ideas; she doesn’t want to give something very similar to what some of the others are planning –  I don’t have the ingredients in the house or she would make up a vanilla coffee mix for her grandfather.   At the moment of this writing (things can change quickly here), they’ve decided to give a joint gift basket from all of them – with a bread, a jam, a soup, a side, and a dessert.

    I have some chutneys that I prepared in the beginning of the fall for my husband’s coworkers, and will probably bake something to send along with each jar.  I have other things that I’ve canned with the intention to give them as gifts also, but I have to go through the shelf where I stored them all and remind myself what I have. 🙂

    I found this link after we finished preparing our jars, but I think they give some good ideas for how to decorate the jars so that they look festive – I’m a big believer in the value of presentation (you know, the nicer something looks, the better it is received!).  http://www.budget101.com/jargifts.htm

    Happy Chanukah!

    Avivah

  • Get rid of your credit card debt NOW!

    Okay, I know that getting rid of credit card debt is a suggestion that every financial guru makes, and hardly anyone follows those suggestions.  Getting rid of credit card debt is a hard sell, because using a credit card is easy, it’s convenient, and to be honest, it helps a lot of people live in a manner they really can’t afford.  But I’m going to share a little about my current concerns regarding it now, because I want to help anyone who may be affected by the following be as prepared as possible. 

    To be open on our credit care usage, I do have and use one credit card – we got one because we were having so much trouble getting a mortgage without one – but we pay it in full every month, and I try to use it as little as possible.  The truth is, I’d rather not use it at all, because it’s too easy for it to be a crutch, and I’m very glad we didn’t have one for the first twelve years of our marriage, because there were times we struggled so much financially that it’s hard for me to look back with confidence and think I wouldn’t have reached for credit to make things a little easier.  

    Credit card debt is expensive, because if you’re making your minimum payment, you’ll still be paying for today’s purchases in fifty years.  And there are huge late fees for being even a day late in your payment- prior to online banking this year (which I love and highly recommend!), twice my snail mail payment arrived a day late to the c.c. company and we were charged a $40 fee plus interest for all of that month and the next on the balance.  (And both times I had the fee waived, something they’ll sometimes do when they see you’ve never been late and want to keep you as a customer, but I still had to pay the interest fees for those two mistakes – we were fortunate that our balances were so small that we only had to pay about $10 total.)  But these aren’t new concerns, and many good books have been written about the dangers of credit card debt, as well as the best way to get out of debt (Dave Ramsey is a good starting point), which will give you a lot of specific advice and support.

    Since the fact that a significant percentage of the population is grossly overextended on credit isn’t new, why am I bringing it up now?  Because I’ve recently heard of many people across the country, those with problematic credit and those with longstanding perfect credit, having their credit lines suddenly and unexpectedly slashed or totally revoked.  When I think about the connotations of this, it’s of serious concern to me.  If you’re living within your means and your credit cards are paid off every month, it would only be an inconvenience if this happens to you.  But – if you’re depending on your credit card to carry your lifestyle, what will you do if you get sudden notification that you’re one of those whose credit is being shut down?

    This is a very real situation a lot of people are encountering, but by being prepared, it doesn’t have to cause you economic distress.  Gas prices are down, food prices are somewhat stable, most people still have jobs – take advantage of this opportunity to pay off your credit cards as fast as possible.  Most of us have areas in our budgets that we think are non-negotiable, expenses that we would insist we can’t minimize, but the truth is that all of us have places were we can cut down (yes, even me!). 

    I’ll be open about my expectations of the next few years (which I very much hope turn out to be wrong), even though I try to be a positive person – we’re in for a long, hard haul, and most of us are going to be forced at some point to reevaluate our spending and lifestyle choices.  Changing your priorities and thinking about how and where you spend your money can be challenging, but it’s so much more pleasant to make these changes because you want to, than because you’re forced to.  And by making the changes before you’re forced to, chances are that you won’t find it necessary to make so many adaptations later on, and in any case, you’ll be a lot more mentally prepared for whatever we’re going to encounter. 

    Avivah

  • Buying holiday gifts

    Last year I planned to write about this, but at first it seemed too far ahead of the holidays to write, then it was too close and it seemed it was too late for the suggestions, and then the holidays were over and it seemed way too early to think about the next year.  This year I had the same thing happen, but I’ll share some thoughts on this now.

    We keep things very non commercial.  I really dislike the focus on buying, buying, buying, and feel strongly that having so much attention paid to presents shifts the focus away from the true meaning of the holiday.  I think it’s unfortunate that so many people feel they need to put themselves deeper into debt to fulfill the expectations of those around them.  As I try to do with other holidays throughout the year, I space the extra expenses over time so that it’s not a burden at one time (though Chanuka expenses are quite low in our house, and it’s more of a help in terms of not putting pressure on myself last minute to pull a rabbit out of a hat).

    Another point that I think is important to be aware of, so you can avoid it, is that the more you spend, the more those around you come to expect, so everyone ends up less satisfied all the time.  And it spirals every year as everyone comes to expect more and more.

    To deal with the aspect of not getting caught up in large sudden expenses, I keep my eyes open all year round – if I see something at a great price that will make a nice gift for a family member, I get it.  At the beginning of January tends to be a good time to buy gifts from retail stores, and takes the pressure off for later on in the year because you have what you need by the time the holidays are here!  But you can look at thrift stores, yard sales, wherever – no one outlet has a monopoly on great deals.

    I have a box in the attic where I put all of these finds during the year, and a few weeks before Chanuka go through it and get a sense of what would be appropriate for whom.  But I really don’t spend a lot per person.  And since I’ve too often seen how little use some gifts get, I decided this year to suggest to all of the kids that they think of gifts they can give that are either free or very, very low cost.  My kids like to all get things for each other and for us, and it ends up being a lot of stuff, even when done simply and inexpensively.

    What kind of things do I get my kids?  Well, they have plenty of games and there’s not much to add to in that area.  We haven’t found a large variety of toys useful – though there are some we have in large amounts, like K’nex, so toys are usually only for the younger kids.  For the past couple of years, we gave homemade coupon books, which the kids really like.  The only problem with that is that they like to save their coupons, and all of a sudden now, they’re rushing to redeem them now from a year ago, before they expire!  Dh had fun taking them all out for donuts and hot cocoa this week, one of their coupons!

    I try to get a mix of practical things I know they’ll appreciate, and something a little fun. My ds15 and ds9 have been letting me know they’d LOVE a membership to the JCC, and dh and I decided this will be the big family gift for everyone – a year’s membership, which I know they’ll all get a lot of use out of (we live a five minute walk away).  This year I got them all new gloves, earmuffs, and scarves, but it got cold so early in the year that I gave them the gloves and earmuffs early.  But I put aside the beautiful fleece scarves for my dh and ds15.  I bought hot water bottles ($35 total) for everyone, to keep them toasty on cold nights, which they’ll appreciate since our nights are cold and we keep the house temps low- I’m planning to make individualized covers for each of them sometime in the next week.  Even though it’s something I would have given them anyway (like the JCC membership), by saving it for Chanuka it adds to the fun.

    I bought card games, a couple of board games (for the younger kids), a craft kit, science kits, alef bais cookie cutters, another Gears kit (to add to the collection we already have) and that will be distributed to whoever it’s most appropriate for.  Then I have miscellaneous items – like for my husband, he told me about a video (Seabiscuit) he found inspiring that he saw at someone’s house when he was away – so I got him the book, found at a book exchange (therefore free).  And he mentioned recently that he wanted to try to find some peppermint oil since ten years ago he found it soothing to add to his tea.  I got two small bottles for him, which I know he’ll be quite pleased and surprised that I got.

    For the 8 and almost 10 year old, who love listening to audio books together in the afternoons, and both have a very high level of comprehension and similar tastes, I’m giving an unabridged recording of the first book of Lord of the Rings (10 cents at the library sale – that’s five cents per child for 20 hours of guaranteed entertainment each!).  Dd14 will get an apron, and a special lip balm (she always borrows mine and says it’s the only one that helps her chapped lips.  Dd12 will get a crafting book and a special box for supplies, ds6 has a beautiful new picture book, the little ones will get that ride on solid wood airplane I mentioned.  I’m thinking of baking each of them a bear bread with a ribbon around it’s neck, just as a fun little thing.

    For our parents, I’ve bought nice moisturizers (that I got for free by shopping wisely and using rebates), and will give them some homemade jam and probably loaves of bread wrapped in a gift basket that they’ll enjoy.  Our parents can spend much more on themselves than we ever could, so I try to think about what I could give them that they can’t buy.  I think that except for the JCC membership and hot water bottles, I spent a total of less than $20 for everyone combined.

    Oh, I almost forgot that all of our kids (ages 5 and up) light their own menorahs – the older kids each have their own special menorah, but the younger ones use the standard cheap ones.  Right after Chanukah last year, I bought the next child in line a beautiful menorah on clearance at Target; I think it was 50% off so $12.50 (that’s not included in the above number).  It’s not like they expect to be given one, because it’s not a standard gift from us, but I know the child I have in mind will be very happy to have his own unique menorah.  Just unpacking the menorahs and preparing them each night is fun!

    None of my kids mind if something was purchased brand new or not, or at top dollar or not – it’s more important to match their interests with the gift, and this takes more thought than just buying the newest and latest gadget.  They are all very appreciative kids, but some things have been harder for them to muster up excitement about than others.  A couple of years ago they received gifts that were costly from a set of relatives, but not suitable at all (like a 12 year old who got a craft kit appropriate for a 6 year old, an almanac for a child who didn’t read much, etc),  and I was glad to see they were able to enthusiastically cover up their disappointment so the givers felt happy the gifts had been well received.  But they told me afterwards they so much would have rather been given ten dollars that they could have spent as they wanted, than to know so much money was spent on things they got no pleasure from and would never use – they felt it was almost worse than getting nothing because they had the feeling of missing the chance to get something they wanted for the money spent.  Fortunately, this is very unusual, and they are almost always happy with whatever they get, from whoever they get it from.

    The kids asked me what I wanted, and I said I would appreciate something that would take me time to do/make, but would be wonderful if someone else could do so I wouldn’t have to.  My oldest son has been building me something, working on it for hours – I’m looking forward to seeing the final results.  I know a couple of kids started sewing something, but then the sewing machine jammed so I don’t know what’s happening with that.  As I already mentioned, I encouraged them to also think in terms of doing for each other rather than buying for one another this year.

    I think the reason we can get so much enjoyment out of such simple presents is that we keep the focus on our time together and on the holiday – it’s about so much more than presents.  Everyone benefits by keeping expectations low – there’s more joy in giving, more joy in receiving, and more joy in just being with each other!

    Avivah

  • Making fabric gift bags

    Have you ever noticed after Chanuka, it takes much more time to wrap the gifts up nicely than it does to unwrap it?  Around here, it seems like it’s destroyed in about five seconds once the gift is opened, leaving a mess of paper behind!  When I was thinking about it this year, it seemed wasteful of time and resources, and I heard about a solution that would save time, money, and look nice.  What was it?  Fabric gift bags!

    After making the one time investment of time, I’ll be able to use them year after year, while giving a gift in an attractive and festive way.  You know me, the queen of frugality :), of course I didn’t run out and buy some fabric for this project idea (and it’s fine if someone wants to do that!).  No, though it would be cheaper in the long run to make these from brand new fabric than buying rolls and rolls of wrapping paper over the years, I found yet another way to economize. 🙂

    Here’s what I did.  Several months ago, I sorted through our costumes, and put several aside to donate.  But they never got donated, because I wanted to give them to a costume g’mach (clothing exchange), not to a typical second hand store, and that meant a separate trip, and I kept forgetting about it since the bag is down in the basement out of sight.  One of the costumes was a beautiful green taffetta and black velvet gown that I remade from something I was either given or bought at the thrift store for a few dollars.  I decided this would be perfect to use for the gift bags, since the fabric is great quality, and looks elegant and festive.

    I took apart the gown, and cut several different size pieces from the taffetta.  That was so that I would have different sized bags, suitable for various sized gifts.  I sewed these into basic rectangles, and left the top gathered but open.  Then I took apart the velvet from the gown, and cut/sewed it into long thin strips.  I attached the black velvet strips to the top center of each bag, so that it could be easily closed (initially I was going to use a ribbon, but knowing the reality of our family, it would be lost very fast).

    They look really nice!  I made a total of seven, since that’s what I could squeeze out of the gown, and I think that will be enough.  One is very large, two are pretty small, and the other four are a standard medium size.  What’s nice about it is that if necessary, I could use the same one more than once in an evening, for two different people, since once a family member opens the gift, they don’t need it anymore.  The kids who have seen them think they look great, and I put them away before the other kids came home, so that they’ll have a little bit more of a surprise when we pull them out to use them.

    I didn’t watch the clock, so I don’t know how long these took.  It seemed to go extremely fast, with the velvet strips taking the bulk of the time – it was definitely under two hours from start to finish, but I can’t be more precise than that.  My 8 year old daughter enjoyed helping me, and since I was in the middle of where my kids were and interacting with them as I did this, it was like keeping my hands busy while I was hanging around with them, so I wasn’t conscious of it being like another thing I needed to do.

    Avivah