I haven’t been able to post in the last few days since there’s a problem with my keyboard.  Right now I have a few minutes at my in-laws house so I wanted to pop in and let you all know why I haven’t been posting daily.  We’ve ordered a new one and are waiting for it to arrive.

If I haven’t responded to your emails recently, I haven’t been able to get online.  I’ll get back to you!  Also, if you asked me a question and haven’t seen the response yet,  I haven’t forgotten it and be”H will get to it soon.

Avivah

Late last night my dd12 got back from camp visiting day.  This is the third year my dd14 has been to sleep away camp, and the last two years the entire family went to visit her.  I told her this year that I wasn’t going to go, since it’s a five hour drive and it’s too much for the family with the three littles in tow.  She said she didn’t mind, and I know she meant it.

But her younger sister and she are very close, so all last week dd12 was working on arrangements to get there to visit her.  It’s not so simple since it’s so far away, and no one we spoke to was going directly there.  Most were spending Shabbos in an area closer to the camp, and most were also not coming directly back for the same reason.  She found out that a friend of hers in NY who has an older sister in dd’s bunk would be going for visiting day, and they were happy to give her a ride from NY with them.  They live two blocks from my sister in law, so she made arrangements with my inlaws to go together with them for Shabbos to her aunt’s house (leaving her Thursday morning).  She spent Shabbos there, and went first thing Sunday  morning to her friend’s house (who was in camp).  Then coming home, we found a family from our city who was coming directly back who brought her.

Dd14’s friends couldn’t believe that she made all that effort just to come see her sister – they said half in disbelief, “You must really like your sister!”  It’s true, she really does.  Dd14 really appreciated her coming; she called me in the evening yesterday because she was feeling homesick, but said it would have been much worse if dd12 hadn’t come.  I think that’s the nature of visiting day – when you see everyone’s family visiting them but yours isn’t there, it makes you miss them more. 

My talk with her last night wasn’t very satisfying because she called me from her supervisor’s cell phone, and because campers aren’t supposed to be using cell phones, she was speaking very quickly and quietly so no one would hear her.  But it was nice to hear her voice – I don’t think it mattered if the conversation was meaningful or not because all she wanted was to connect with us. 

Whenever one of the kids is gone, it feels like something is missing.  It’s nice to have dd12 back with us (even though no one but dh and I have seen her yet – she got back after everyone was asleep).   For once she’s sleeping in – usually she’s the first one up in the morning! 

Avivah

Having a small business, I became aware of concerns with the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA) a couple of months ago, but was sure that the legal legislation would be amended since it was so absurd.  I just couldn’t believe that something that would clearly harm so many people financially at a time when the economy is falling apart would be pursued.  http://money.cnn.com/2009/01/14/smallbusiness/toy_law_threatens_small_companies.smb/index.htm?postversion=2009011511 

But now I’m not so sure.  My belief that this would be changed was assumption based on a false notion that those who pass laws in this country actually think about the wider ramifications of what they’re doing.  Now I think that those involved are very out of touch with the average American and his needs, and the past two months has shown amazingly little receptivity to those concerns.  As time has passed, I’ve learned much more about it, and this has much, much wider ramifications than I initially believed, ramifications that will affect all of us. 

The Consumer Product Safety Commision and Congress passed a law that requires all makers of children’s products in the US to have their products tested for lead (that’s the CPSIA). Anyone who continues to sell their products without this testing will be in violation of law and subject to fines and possible jail time.  This is a seemingly positive bit of legislation that was initially greeted with enthusiasm and support by those who want to see more quality products in the marketplace.   After all, we don’t want toys from China making kids sick.  We want good, natural products that will help us keep our kids safe, don’t we? 

But this won’t have much of an effect on products coming from China, even though they were the source of the problem that initiated this bill (since due to technicalities they can do third party on-site testing).  Huge companies have big enough quantities of each product that they manufacture that the testing costs when spread out become insignificant per product line.  Who it will effect will be small businesses and the average consumer.  Here’s an overview of what’s happening.

The CPSIA will make it an offense from Feb. 11 and on to sell anything that hasn’t been tested for lead and received certification.  This will include toys, clothing, books, baby carriers, bicycles, bedding, cloth diapers (and yes, nursing pillows :)), etc.  But this doesn’t mean only things that are manufactured after that date.  It means anything being sold after that date, so any company with any kind of inventory for this age range is right now either in the process of liquidating their inventory (and for many small businesses, choosing to go out of business since testing costs are so high as to be unrealistic for most), or trying to quickly get testing and GCC certification (general compliance certification – that’s what I’m in the middle of right now).  So at a time when the economy is falling apart and there are huge job losses across the country, thousands of small businesses (mostly home business, mom and pop operations) are being forced to close down – not because there’s any problem or risk with what they sell, but because they can’t afford to deal with the beauracratic testing requirements.  That means more people suffering economically, and it means cost increases for all of the other products (which of course will get passed on to the consumer). 

But that’s just the very beginning – because this legislation will affect the second hand market as well.  http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-thrift2-2009jan02,0,2083247.story  I’ve been waiting for a few weeks to see how this panned out, and it seems now that thrift stores are going to be exempt.  But the wording isn’t clear and there’s still a possibility of fines to those second hand stores that do sell these things. (“However, resellers cannot sell children’s products that exceed the lead limit and therefore should avoid products that are likely to have lead content, unless they have testing or other information to indicate the products being sold have less than the new limit. Those resellers that do sell products in violation of the new limits could face civil and/or criminal penalties.” ) Not surprisingly, many of these stores are also liquidating their children’s supplies rather than risk penalties ($100,000 per violation).  And not only is it illegal to sell anything not tested, it will be illegal to give it away – that technically means if you pass your baby clothes to a friend when you’re finished or have a yard sale, you’re committing an offense.  But I wouldn’t worry about that.  I’d be much more concerned about how people who are suffering economically or have a limited budget to work with are going to clothe their children when the options for buying second hand are drastically limited.  And now these stores won’t even be allowed to donate the clothes they already have stocked that are untested to the needy.

And that’s not all – it just  keeps getting more and more ludicrous.  Libraries will be subject to this, too.  So all of their books will have to be tested.  Or maybe kids won’t be allowed in the libraries?  Certainly library used book sales will have to come to an end. http://thephoenix.com/Boston/News/74940-Congress-bans-kids-from-libraries/

What about educational supplies?  Yes, this is affected, too.  Science kits, sewing materials – anything geared towards kids will need to do this certification process.  How much do you think this will affect the availability of what’s accessible to you in the stores?  Or even on the internet – since Ebay and Etsy sellers are now going to be subject to the same restrictions as retail establishments?  And it goes on and on…..

But there are some who will be benefitting.  The big box stores stand to gain, since their small competition is going to be demolished.  Retail stores will benefit if parents can’t buy used clothes or toys for their children and have no choice but to buy brand new.  And the many who will be hired to legislate and supervise all of this testing at the various levels will benefit.  Maybe this is the government’s way to create new jobs?

Watching the government at work isn’t pretty, is it? 

Avivah

In order to make it easier to navigate the archives, I’ve spent a few hours going through all of my old posts and moving them in the categories they best belong in, if that seemed helpful.  I still have to do more, but I’ve sorted through a lot of posts and I hope it will be easier for you to find what you’re looking for in the category you’re looking for it.  I’ve added a couple of new categories, but am still thinking that it would be helpful if there was a ‘saving money’ or frugality category.  The problem with that is so much of what I write on that topic, in my mind pertains to basic homemaking, and that makes it hard for me to decide what category each post would be placed in.  And I can’t seem to think of a good overall name for that category.  I’m open to your thoughts on this!

It’s been interesting going through a couple of years of posts and seeing all that I’ve written about.  I go through stages of writing about different things – at some points, it’s been parenting, other times home organization, homeschooling, or saving money.  (Tonight my dh told my kids that I write a lot about food – and lately, he’s right!)  I get a lot of questions regarding parenting, which I haven’t written much about recently.  Please check the parenting section of the blog and see if your questions were answered there.  If you don’t see it, feel free to ask and when I have the chance, I’ll answer as best as I can.

Also regarding homeschooling, I’ve covered a number of topics pertaining to this and if you have questions on that, check those archives.  Hopefully you’ll find what you’re looking for, but if not, again, just ask.

If you have suggestions for a category that I don’t have but would help keep things more easily navigated for everyone, please let me know via the comments section below!

Avivah

Guess what?  Tomorrow I’m going away for the entire weekend – without my family!  I’ll be spending the weekend with over one hundred other women at a special retreat.  I know some of them already, some I’ve gotten to know over the phone in the last year or so, and it will be really fun to match voices with faces!  My husband really encouraged me to go, which helped me overcome my feeling that I should stay home with everyone.  My baby is 15 months and no longer nursing, and will be fine without me, since he’ll be surrounded by everyone else in the family so nothing will be too different in his life.  My toddler is more likely to notice my absence, but again, it makes a big difference to be part of a big family in situations like this – almost everyone else he’s used to spending all day long with will still be there.   

About seven years ago, my grandfather was very ill and I flew to visit him, and was gone for the weekend.  My kids still talk about the food my husband made that weekend – the biscuits that had so much baking powder that they were really bad, and the cholent (Sabbath stew) he made with hotdogs.  As soon as they heard I was going, they turned to my husband with excitement and asked, “Can we have hot dog cholent?!?”  They’re looking forward to a weekend with a different flavor while I’m gone. 

As soon as my now 14 year old (she had a birthday a week ago) dd heard I was going three hours away for this convention, she immediately wanted to know if I could take her to friends in that state for the weekend.  🙂   I told her that I couldn’t chauffer her to any city in the state, but if it was within a reasonably short distance, I’d be willing to drop her off.  When she gave me the address to mapquest, we were both delighted to find out that her friend lives ten minutes from the hotel! 

Then my 12 year old dd wanted to come along when she heard about the plans – one of her favorite friends in the world is the younger sister of the friend my older dd asked about going to.  So I said, sure, the more the merrier.  Turns out my older daughter’s friend (and four other friends she has in that neighborhood) all have a school Shabbaton (activity/trip) planned for that weekend, so she’ll stay with another friend who lives just a couple of minutes away instead.  And now the other girls are arranging their schedules so they can come see her on Friday afternoon, after school ends and before they leave for their trip.   I kind of marvel at how many people she’s friendly with that she feels comfortable spending the weekend with.  I’m so grateful that the hotel is so close and it will be easy to accomodate both of my daughters.  All of my kids are very undemanding and appreciative of what they get, so it’s a pleasure to do things for them, and I’m really glad that I can make this happen for them, particularly for my 12 year old dd.

The plan is to drop them off on the way to the hotel, and then the other four women who are coming along with me and I will head off for a weekend of adult conversation.  (It’s good I have a large van to hold everyone!)  I am really, really looking forward to it!  It’s already midnight, and since I’ll be leaving soon after breakfast, I really need to get myself packed up.  I also have to take all the food I’ll need until Sunday afternoon when I get back, so I have plenty to still do until I’m ready to go!  Since I’ll be doing the driving (though one friend offered to drive for me if I get tired), I also need to get a decent night’s sleep in (particularly since my toddler was throwing up last night so I didn’t get to sleep until after 3 am).

Have a wonderful weekend, and I’ll try to update you Sunday night. 🙂

Avivah

In the recent terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India, the Chabad House (a religious Jewish center) was one of the targeted locations.  Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg, hy”d, his wife, Rivka hy”d, and their toddler son were among the hostages taken.  Both parents were killed before the Indian commandos stormed the building. 

The small light in the middle of this horrible tragedy was that their little boy was saved.  The woman who cooked for the organization and often took care of their toddler was in the building when it was stormed, and she locked herself into a room as she heard the gunshots.  After twelve hours, it was quiet, and she heard the little boy crying.  She risked leaving her room – can you imagine the courage that took, to venture out, not knowing where the terrorists were, and to risk the safety of her undiscovered location? -and followed the sound to a different floor in the building, where she saw four unconscious bodies, and next to them, the crying baby with bloodstains on his pants.

She quickly grabbed him and managed to safely get out of the building.  The baby, Moshe, turned two years old today.  It horrifies me to think of a tiny child like that not only losing both parents, but for the rest of his life, his birthday will mark the anniversary of when he was saved, but when they were killed as well.

Moshe was the youngest of three children, the oldest who died of a degenerative disease earlier this year, and the second child is critically ill and in a hospital in Israel.  It’s hard for me to fathon the suffering of this young couple (they were 29 and 28), and I can only find the tiniest measure of comfort because of my belief that a merciful G-d runs the world and that there is a reason for everything, no matter how it seems to me.  But my heart is heavy.

May their memories be a blessing, and may H-shem give the parents, relatives, and friends of this very special young couple comfort.

Avivah

I just added the new family photo to the ‘About Us’ page (look at top right of screen for link).  I was only able to add it as a thumbnail so it’s showing up pretty small – you’ll have to click on it once or twice to see it larger.

My goal in having a family photo is for everyone to have their eyes open and something like a smile on their face.  Forget about the toddler and baby looking at the camera when the picture is being taken!  It’s a lot of people to coordinate, and most of my kids aren’t happy with how they look in this picture.  But I told them that a family picture means it looks fine overall, and it can look nice even if each person doesn’t look their best.

So for any of you wondering what we look like, there we are!  The back row is dh, 12 yodd, me, 13.5 yodd, 15 yods, 2 yods.  Front row is: 6 yods, 1 yods, 9.5 yods, 7.5 yodd.  Now you can put faces to who I write about.  🙂

Avivah

I had such a busy day yesterday, with so much to tell you but no time!  It’s very hard to go back even a day to recap, though, since there’s always so much going on here, so I’ll just share with you one of the highlights.

A dear friend was turning 69, and invited me to her birthday party.  Yes, she’s twice my age, but she really is my friend.  She has a beautiful spirit and joy for life, and I always enjoy chatting with her – we speak about once a week.  She was doing something unusual and fun for her party – since she was a teenager in the 50s, she decided to make her birthday party theme the 50s.  And she requested that all of her guests wear at least one item in accordance with the theme.  She told me her goal was for everyone to have fun, since we tend to take life too seriously and not laugh enough. 

Oh, gosh.  I knew I didn’t have anything to wear, couldn’t think of how to adapt what I had, didn’t want to go buy something just for a party, and kept procrastinating about doing some research to get new ideas.  I was getting kind of uptight about it, and even very briefly toyed with the idea of not going just so I wouldn’t have to come up with something.  But that was ridiculous.

Finally, two hours before the party, I called my mom for ideas.  I was feeling desperate.  My hair wasn’t teasing, and I had been counting on that to create my look.  Once I started brainstorming with my mom, things started getting fun!  I ended up wearing my straightest shortest skirt (which for me means 2 or 3 inches past the knees), a fitted t-shirt with a cardigan on top, brushed my bangs flat over my forehead, stuck a headband on, and tried to tease the hair behind the headband. That was an utter failure.  I was a teenager in the late 80s so I should know how to tease hair, but we only teased our bangs, and my arms got tired long before my hair got that beehive look.  I tied a scarf around my neck, put on some bright lipstick that came as part of a set (I would never have bought it!), and was ready to go. 

My kids and the visiting friend looked up at me when I came down the stairs and asked me if I was really going to go out looking like that.  🙂  (I think the lipstick might have been the most shocking part.)  Yes, I told them, I was.  I’m not naturally good at doing spontaneous fun stuff that requires me to leave my comfort zone, so this was a conscious effort for me.  A friend picked me up, we got to the party, and found the room decorated with 50s nostalgia and the birthday girl dressed from head to toe as a teenager of the 50s and women of all ages there to share in the celebration, some totally dressed to the theme, others less so. 

When the music went on, it was all fifties hits.  The women were invited onto the dance floor(it was all religious women), while I sedately sat on the sidelines, eating my fruit and cheese.  Dancing isn’t my strong point; I tend to feel self-conscious and I really have no idea how to do any 50s dances (maybe because I was born long, long after that!).  Someone else who wasn’t dancing turned to me and asked me my name, and did a double take when I told her. It turns out she’d been wanting to meet me for a while (she knew about me from a relative I was able to help get started looking into alternative healing), and I was glad to be able to put her face to her name, too.

Then there were several talks and presentations (which were so beautiful), and a hula hoop game began. We linked arms in a circle, and had to pass the hula hoop from one to another without letting go of the circle, while music played.  When the music stopped, whoever was at the left of the hula hoop had to go into the circle and dance together.  That forced me to lighten up a little, lol!  It actually was really fun to let go and not worry about knowing the steps, just having pure fun.  When you’re looking silly with other people, it’s not something you need to think so much about, you know?

It was a lot of fun, but it was more than anything a celebration of life by and for a wonderful woman, and it was really a privilege to have been invited to participate.

Avivah

I’ve been asked if any of the rotating pictures on the sidebar are of me.  No, they aren’t – I asked my web designer to make the blog page different from the rest of the site so I could post my picture there and it would be clear it was a personal blog, but it wasn’t possible.  I know that probably creates a feeling of confusion for people visiting the first time. 

We have a family picture that’s always been posted in the ‘about us’ page, that I last week became aware isn’t showing up for some technical reason.  I guess it’s just as well because we need to update it – it was taken almost two years ago and the newest baby isn’t in it.  That’s embarrassing, since he’s eleven months old already!  You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find a time that everyone is home and someone who’s not a family member is available to take even a casual picture for us, let alone getting us all to a portrait studio.  That’s why it takes so long to get updated photos with all of us in them. Anyway, now that I know it’s down, it will push me to take a new family picture and get it up soon!

For those of you here the first time, we’re a family of 10, eight children ages: 11 months (boy), 28 months (boy), 6 (boy), 7.5 (girl), 9 (boy), almost 12 (girl), 13.5 (girl), and 15 (boy).  We’ve been married very happily for 16 years, and are entering our ninth year of homeschooling.  Feel free to ask questions if there’s something you’re wondering about and don’t see the answer to. 🙂

Avivah