Category Archives: miscellaneous

Israel visit – Old City

homeschooling, miscellaneous
One of the two bar mitzva processions we saw in the Old City

For our second full day in Jerusalem, I planned a tour of the Old City. There are many tour groups available for this, and I decided on one that had been highly recommended online. It is called Sandemann’s Free Tour of the Old City – the tour guides work for tips, and you pay what you feel the tour is worth. It was an overview of the four quarters of the Old City, and I chose this rather than a religious tour since I thought it would balance out the heavy and emotional tour the day before of Maaras Hamachpeilah (Cave of the Patriarchs).

We got there just in time, and joined a large and very diverse group of participants. As our tour began, a bar mitzva procession came by, accompanying a young man who was turning thirteen to the Kotel with singing, clapping, and music – we clapped as they went by along with them. We started our tour with the Armenian quarter, then continued to the Jewish quarter. Since the tour was only three hours and covered all four quarters, it was by necessity a brief overview of the main points in each quarter.

At one point, the girls and I slightly diverged from our tour, so that we could privately tear kriyah before descending to the Kotel (Western Wall).

Entering Moslem quarter

From there our group continued to the Moslem quarter, where people can freely enter without a security check, since it isn’t necessary.  It was at this point that our guide stopped for a lunch break, and when the two other visibly Jewish people left the tour.  This wasn’t my idea of a fun place to stop, though as the girls and I stood on the side of the corridor watching people pass while we waited, we enjoyed people watching.

The view to the right of where we waited

From there we continued to the souk (outdoor market), which I walked through quickly and didn’t stop to take a picture in.  I really could have, but the passage was narrow and the group was spread out, and I didn’t feel very comfortable with so many Arab men close by on all sides, especially with my girls with me.  We continued from there to the Christian quarter, and headed back to Jaffa gate to end the tour.

As much as we enjoyed the many sights and sounds of the Old City (and there were many), and appreciated walking through the areas we did, we didn’t find the tour a worthwhile use of our very limited time.  It was a good overview, but at the same time, it was so shallow and lacking in detailed information that the girls kept spacing out when the guide was talking.  Even though I paid attention to everything, I didn’t really feel I got much out of it, either – it felt dry to me.  Also, it was so impartial that it was almost meaningless. In hindsight, I would choose a tour that covered less physical ground but more history and explanation of religious significance.  In this tour, holy sites were pointed out,  but just as something for a tourist to see, not to experience or feel emotionally connected to, and this left me feeling somewhat detached from everything we were seeing.  I’m not a touristy kind of person – I like to see and experience real things, not view them from a detached distance.

A this point, I wanted to return to the Kotel for mincha (afternoon prayer service), and I went the way the guide told me – right through the souk.  Dd16 was very anxious and kept telling me to go another way, and I told her there were other Jewish people there and we’d follow them.  But suddenly all of the other Jewish people weren’t there, and I wasn’t sure where to go, and it’s not comfortable to not know where you’re going in a place that makes you uncomfortable to start with.  But just then someone came by, and hearing me ask the only other Jewish person in sight how to get to the Kotel, told me he was going there and to follow him.  That was great – I was able to relax then since he obviously knew where he was going.

Dd16, me, and dd14 in front of Kotel (Western Wall)

When we got to the plaza area, we called home.  Ds12 had been excited about the idea of seeing us via the live Kotel cam, so I asked dh to wake him up because I knew he’d be disappointed if we didn’t.  He woke up and called us back a few minutes later, and while the girls went to the Kotel for mincha (afternoon prayer service), I spoke to him and he described what he was seeing on the computer screen, so I could get a sense of exactly what area the camera was capturing.  He got excited when he told me he could see dd14 go by, and showed the other kids who were awake as well – it’s amazing how technology made it possible for him to see a sibling 5500 miles away in real time!

When dd14 finished, I gave her the phone and told her she could talk to ds, and that I’d stand in the exact spot that I knew would be visible, so he could see me (I was the only one of us who knew what it was).  But she got so involved in talking to him that she forgot to mention it and he wasn’t looking at the computer, so they didn’t end up viewing me on-screen.  I’m glad they enjoy each other so much!

From the Kotel, we went to do some gift shopping in Meah Shearim.  I looked for two olive wood stores that I remembered, but only one was still there, and someone working there was smoking, which caused me to leave fairly quickly.  (I have a strong aversion to cigarette smoke.)  I found what I was looking for, and since I wanted to get it personalized, was told to come back the next morning.  When I explained that I wouldn’t be in Jerusalem the next morning, the person who worked there offered to stay open late to finish my order, which was very nice of him.  We had a couple of hours to wait, so we walked to the Machane Yehuda shuk again – it was nice to go somewhere we had been and know how to get there, what buses to take, etc – for me this trip has meant constantly figuring out directions and locations, so it was nice to really be able to relax.

At the shuk I wanted to get some dried dates for one of our Shabbos hosts (we had bought some the night before that were wonderful, and the girls liked how the person we bought from told us to take one of each to sample before we chose which kind to get).  Dd14 found some skirts the night before (she’s wearing one in the picture above), which she had very much been hoping to find, since she prefers long, flowing skirts, and it’s challenging for her to find what she likes at a good price. The four skirts she got were each 30 shekels, which at the current conversion rate of about 3.7 shekels to the dollar, is somewhere close to 8 or 9 dollars each, so it was a good deal even though the owner wasn’t willing to negotiate at all. 🙂

After finishing at the shuk, we walked back to Meah Shearim (we did a LOT of walking that day, almost seven hours straight, and my feet in my wonderful new Earth shoes were really hurting – I didn’t take enough time to gradually acclimate myself to the shoes as recommended, so parts of my feet and legs were exercised by the shoe incline that wouldn’t be usually used much) and picked up my order.  We finally headed back to the apartment, and  after doing some stretching exercises, I fell asleep pretty quickly, while the girls stayed up late making funny videos of themselves.

Avivah

Israel visit – Day 1

frugal strategies, miscellaneous

I woke up about 5 am on my first morning in Israel, and by 5:30 decided to get up and take a walk.  I got dressed and took the cell phone with me, so I could call home and see how everyone was doing.  It was a good thing I did, because my mother in law, who was staying with the kids that night, had to suddenly leave to go with my father in law to the hospital a very short time before I called. Everyone but ds12 was asleep, and I stayed on the phone with him for about a half hour until dh got home from work.

It was a wonderful feeling to get up and be out and about while it was still dark out!  It was pleasantly brisk outside, and my sweater over a long sleeved t-shirt was perfect.  I noticed the school security guard was watching me from a distance, so I went over to introduce myself to him so he wouldn’t wonder who I was and what I was doing there.  Then ds12 called back, so I talked to him more, and then to dh.

I went back to the dorm as the first girls were trickling out, so I could get dressed (ie not in casual walking clothes).  My girls were just waking up – it was a nice change for me to be up and about before them  – that rarely happens at home!  We went down to breakfast, which was a typical Israeli spread, my ideal kind of breakfast – hard boiled eggs, cheese, cottage cheese, tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, and hot cereal.  I made myself a salad with the vegetable and cheese, then used the olive oil and Real salt we brought to the dining room to dress it.  Yum – the kind of meal that satiates you for hours while you still feel light after eating!

I was initially planning to leave to Jerusalem right after breakfast so I’d have a full day there, but then adjusted my plans to make room for a meeting with the head of dd’s program later in the morning.  This ended up being a very worthwhile use of my time, since by speaking to her in person, I was able to really understand who she is and where she’s coming from.  I shared with her my concerns about a couple of issues, and also shared what I felt were important things to understand and respect about dd16 (namely to recognize that dd is there because she wants to be there, is intrinsically motivated and doesn’t need to be told to do what she’s supposed to do, and that she doesn’t complain, so to realize if she says something is wrong, it has to be taken seriously).

We had packed up to leave before our talk, so we got our suitcases and took a local bus to Haifa’s central bus station.  We got a 1 pm bus to Jerusalem, then had a two hour ride getting there.  The weather in Haifa has been stunning – warm and spring-like, with temps in the sixies, but as we came into Jerusalem, it began raining heavily and felt like winter.  Once there, we began the fun of navigating with our four suitcases in the rain (we each had a large carry-on with our things for the week plus one more with items for others and to have space for whatever we bought, but in hindsight, we should have brought a larger piece of luggage instead of two smaller pieces so each of us had one piece of luggage- it would have made our travels that were about to take place much much easier).   We got onto a packed local bus, which wasn’t very fun or relaxing because it was so full and we had our suitcases and umbrellas to deal with (dd14 had the hardest time, because she took the two smallest pieces, while dd16 and I each took a larger suitcase, and she didn’t have a free hand).

It took an hour to get to our destination, due to the weather and it being rush hour – we stood with our luggage in the back most of that time, and couldn’t enjoy looking out the window since it was all steamed up and foggy outside.  I didn’t mind, but it made it impossible to get any sense of where we were.  Fortunately, someone on the bus told me where to get off, and we found the building where the studio apartment I had rented for our visit was located without too much trouble (though finding the entrance to the building was another story!).

The owner had told me that if he wasn’t there, he’d leave the key for the door there, and I was glad to see the key in the envelope as he had promised. We went in, and I was a little surprised to see that it was smaller than I anticipated, and there were no sheets, towels, or pillows.  I hadn’t thought to ask if sheets were included, but figured we’d work it out.  I called the owner and left a message to ask about it, then went across the street to a take out store to get some chicken to bring back to the apartment.

But the food wasn’t sold by weight, which I expected, but in portions, so I could get a piece of chicken with two sides for 39 shekel for each of us.  I didn’t mind paying extra for prepared food, but that seemed like too much, since I didn’t want the sides. Fortunately, even though it was 4:30 by now, thanks to our filling breakfast we weren’t hungry yet and we went back to the apartment.  I called the owner again, and this time he answered. I told him we were here and asked about the sheets, and he seemed taken aback; he told me that I wasn’t supposed to be there, that he had cancelled my reservation!   You can imagine that after hours of travelling in the cold and wet weather, this really wasn’t what I wanted to hear!

I told him that I had reserved two months before and hadn’t received anything about a cancellation, and happily, he realized he was mixing me up with someone else – we were supposed to be in a different apartment and the wrong key had been left for me.  The cancellation had been for the person in the apartment we had gone into, and wasn’t prepared yet for guests.  He told me where to get the key for our apartment, and after finding it, went in and saw our apartment nicely set up – much more spacious, with linens and towels, and a microwave that hasn’t been in the smaller unit.  We’re all pleased with the apartment – it’s a studio with sleeping for three, a kitchen area, table with a couple of chairs, cabinets for clothing, and a bathroom.  Perfect for our needs – I wanted to have the cooking facilities so we could prepare our own food and not be dependent on restaurants.

At 5 pm we headed out to do some food shopping at the Machane Yehuda shuk (outdoor market), but first went to the Geulah neighborhood to see if we could find some other prepared food to have dinner first.  Years ago I remembered there being a placed that sold affordable take out, and would be perfect for my needs – I wanted to get some chicken and simple cooked vegetable dish. But we couldn’t find that store that I remembered, and nothing else we saw was suitable. So we got a bus to the outdoor market, which is a great experience!

At the shuk (outdoor market), there are dozens and dozens of vendors selling all kinds of things –  produce, spices, meats, dried fruits, nuts – each with his stall heaped high with his particular offerings. It’s a very sensory experience being there – all the sights, people, noises of the different vendors calling out their wares and prices – we happened to get there towards the end of the evening, which was the perfect time to find some bargains.  🙂  At the end of the day, the vendors are eager to sell what they have so they don’t need to pack it up, and they’ll offer deep discounts.  I started off by buying a bag of thirty pitas for 10 shekel, freshly baked that day.  Then we went on to buy chicken, then a pot, cutting board, and knife.  At this place when the owner told me the price, I asked him to lower it, and saw dd16 smiling as she overheard. She told me later she had heard you could bargain with the owners, but never seen it before.  I didn’t drive a hard bargain – they were items I needed right away and wasn’t going to walk away if he didn’t lower the price – but it was a nice discount.

Then we got our produce – we got our cukes, tomatoes, and oranges from a vendor who significantly lowered the price to induce us to buy.  Then the vendor right next to him selling baked goods started calling out his discounted price to sell all the bread baked that day that wasn’t sold yet – a shekel for a package of ten whole wheat pitas.  I stood there undecided, since I had already bought 30 (white) pitas, not wanting to get more than what we’d use but preferring to get the whole wheat.  Dd16 told me afterward she told dd14 while they were waiting for me that there was no way I was going to pass up that bargain, and she was right.  🙂 We got more produce at another stand, and of course I couldn’t resist buying the ‘seconds’ that were marked down.  I know, it might seem funny that I’m spending all this money to visit Israel and then to buy reduced produce, but that’s how I am – I’ll spend money on what matters to me, but I won’t spend it in a way that seems wasteful.   And to me, it would be excessive to buy lots of prepared foods when I could easily make my own, or to pay full price when the same vegetable that I would be eating an hour later could be had for 30 percent less.

Finally we headed back to the apartment, cold and hungry.  It had been raining hard all of this time, and after three hours trooping around outside, we were ready to warm up and eat!  At this point (it was already after 8 pm) I was really glad we had a microwave – I don’t generally speaking use microwaves, but after kashering it, it took six minutes for our chicken to be done.  The chicken was so fresh, and so delicious!

Meanwhile, I discovered that although I had bought a pot made in Israel so that I didn’t have to toivel (ritually dip it) it, the knife I bought wasn’t, and since I had no idea where to toivel something or who to ask, that meant that the vegetables I had just bought intending to cut up for salads and sauteing weren’t going to be!  The studio has dishes, silverware, and pot available, but weren’t kosher, so I boiled a pot of water in our new pot, and kashered the silverware in the apartment.    There wasn’t a cutting knife available, but I managed with the regular tableware.

So we ended our day in Jerusalem with hot food, hot showers, and warm comfortable beds to snuggle into – it is wonderful to be here!

Avivah

Israel visit – arrival day

miscellaneous

The morning I arrived in Israel, dd16 met us at the airport, and from there we took a train to Haifa.  This was a pleasant 1.5 hour ride, and it was funny but nice how normal it seemed for dd14 and I to be sitting there with dd16, talking as if we’d just seen each other a day before instead of five months before!

We had a lot of luggage – we used just about every pound allotted to us – our four suitcases weighed 49.5, 49.5, 50.5, and 43 lb respectively, plus we each took a full carryon.  We had a lot of stuff for dd16 – mostly food – dehydrated mixes (split pea, 16 bean, meat chili, lentil-chicken), organic peanut butter, 2 lb butter, 20 pkg tuna in foil packs, xylitol, extra virgin bottles olive oil, ten boxes of tea, 2 mini pans of vegetable quiche, 3 mini pans of meatloaf, Real salt, raisins, cashews, walnuts, homemade peanut butter cups – I wanted to get her some healthy fats to supplement the food she gets in the dorm, because that’s the main thing that’s missing.  Oh, and some chocolate to give her friends on Purim.  We also had things to take for other people, so that took up about a suitcase and a half.  I was happy to take it all, but that’s why we were so loaded for our trip – otherwise, dd14 and I are pretty minimalist packers!

When we got to the train station where we got off, we met the dorm father of dd16’s program, which was really nice because I had purchased a ticket to a stop two stations before we needed to get off, and you have to electronically have your ticket electronically scanned before you can get through – and even though the price was the same, our ticket wasn’t scanning properly so we couldn’t get out!  It was nice to have someone help us out with that – not a big deal, but after a long trip and only 4 hours sleep in over 40 hours, I appreciated not having to immediately jump into explaining all of this in Hebrew that I haven’t spoken in over a decade!  The reason he was there was they were picking up a girl from the school, so he told us all to jump in to the 5 person vehicle, with all of our luggage and another person already in it – that was a fun squeeze!

Thanks to his help, we got to the school right on time for lunch, where I began to meet dd16’s friends.  I really wanted to get a sense of what the school was like, so this was a great way to see how everything is run – I took a lunch tray and filled my plate with food, then sat down to eat in the lunchroom with all of the girls.  After lunch we got unpacked in the apartment the school provided for us – this was on campus in the building directly opposite dd’s dorm.  I appreciated that they were so ready and willing to accommodate visiting parents.  Then we took the suitcases of things to dd’s room, up four long flights of stairs, and she unpacked all of that.  At this point, I was starting to feel deeply exhausted, and as I was sitting on her bed, starting falling into a deep sleep sitting up every time my head drooped.

Dd16 knew I wanted to stay up until nighttime local time to avoid jet lag, so she suggested we go for a walk. This wasn’t something I wanted to do, since I felt too tired to move, but once I stood up and got moving I was fine.  We went to the local store and did some food shopping – the food at the school is basically fine but dd16 is having digestive difficulties so she avoids most of the food provided there, and I wanted to make her something that would fit into her dietary restrictions.  (That’s also why I took frozen meatloaf and quiche, for her to keep in the freezer there and have portions she can reheat when she needs something to supplement what they are given.)  It was mentally an adjustment to see prices is shekels and kilos, since it meant constantly doing price adjustments in my head to figure out what was a good price.

But I worked it out and left the store with a whole chicken, onions, carrots, and zucchini for 35 shekels (about $9), then went back to the dorm to cook it all.  By this time it was dinner, so we went to the lunch room again!  I met more friends and staff – all of whom were nice and the Israelis all told me how good my rusty Hebrew is.  🙂  Then we went to make the food I prepared – dd16 hardly ate anything at dinner, and I planned to make some for her to eat that night and to freeze the rest in portion sizes for her to have after I was gone.   This usually wouldn’t take me long, but I didn’t have my usual kitchen facilities at my disposal, so it was a little more involved. Thanks to the help of the very sweet dorm mother, I managed to get set up and get it done.

Then we packed it all up in portion sizes, and finally got to sleep sometime between 10 – 11 pm, nine hours after arriving at the school.

Avivah

I’m in Israel – and a surprise!

miscellaneous, parenting

I’m here in Israel!   The flight was good, although despite being extremely exhausted (1 hour of sleep the night before my flight), I got only about three hours of sleep.  We decided weeks ago that dd14 would come with me – I haven’t said anything here because we wanted to surprise dd16.  I told dd14 if she wanted to pay for her own ticket ($1075), that I’d cover all other expenses – passport, food, travel with Israel, and activities.  It’s a lot of money, and after thinking about it, she said she really wanted to come, but it felt like too much money for such a short time.

So I contacted the head of dd16’s program, to see if dd14 could stay with her sister a few days (attending classes with her – for someone who’s been homeschooled for over a decade, it will be  a new experience!), and she agreed.  Being able to spend an additional week in Israel made it worthwhile for dd14, so she’ll be coming back on her own a week after me.  It was really nice having dd14 with me – she’s been a great traveling buddy!

It’s also been nice for the two of us to have shared the preparation and anticipation for this trip.  We particularly talked a lot about how to surprise dd16 when we get to the airport, and after many possible schemes, decided to just have dd14 exit to the waiting area 5 minutes after me.  (It’s been a big effort not to let anything slip and to tell as few people as possible, to eliminate the possibility of other people letting it out.) The only problem with that was when we got there, dd16 wasn’t there!  So we stayed on different sides of the airport waiting area so dd16 wouldn’t see us together.

As I was walking around and looking for dd16, I suddenly heard, “Mommy!”, and I turned, and there she was!  She came over and started crying, and I gave her a huge hug, and then a few more hugs.  I didn’t want her to see dd14 yet, so we walked to the restrooms on the other side of the waiting area, then walked back in the other direction, as I was thinking about how to give dd14 a chance to see us before we exited to the train.  Fortunately, dd14 saw us, and came over, saying, “Hi, T!”  And dd16 casually says, “Hi, M!” and hugs her.  I was like, umm, aren’t you a tiny bit surprised to see your sister here?  

And dd16 told me she was sure I was going to bring her, and in fact, had told her friends that her sister would be coming back from the airport with us!  Apparently I had said something before I ever planned the trip that if I ever came, I’d want to bring dd14 with me, and she said I after I told her I was coming, I never expressly told her I wasn’t bringing dd14. The irony is I wasn’t planning to bring dd14 when I initially planned my trip! Her guess was confirmed a few weeks ago when ds4 told dd16, “Mommy bought us yummy cereal for when M. and Mommy go to visit you!” I quickly shushed him and told him to tell her it was a mistake, and he did; when she got on the phone with me, she asked me what he was saying, that she couldn’t understand him – she realized we were trying to keep it a secret from her and didn’t want us to know she figured it out. 🙂

So even though dd wasn’t surprised, at least most of my blog readers will be! 😛

Avivah

Last minute trip preparations

miscellaneous

It’s hard to believe that after eight weeks since I made the decision to go, that the departure date is already here!  Tonight has been amazingly relaxed, despite the fact that I’m leaving first thing in the morning to the airport!

As we enjoyed snow that made it difficult for us to leave the house for the last few days (our street doesn’t get plowed), I was especially glad to be a person who doesn’t wait until the last minute to get things done, or it would have been very pressured for me.  Instead, since I had done almost all of my shopping for dd16 early in the week, I didn’t have to venture out until yesterday, and even then it was because several of the items I bought to take with me seem to have disappeared from the time I gave it to someone to put next to the suitcases and when I was ready to pack them.  🙄

I didn’t have any suitcases to pack in until Friday (thanks, T and Y!!) but once I did, I was able to complete most of my packing then.  I’m taking the maximum weight allowed per suitcase (50 lb each), and between the books and food for dd, some things for other people, and my clothing, I’m filling every bit of space I’m allotted!   And I’m really appreciative for my neighbor who lent me a luggage scale (thanks T and parents!) – this made packing so much easier – no stress of having to guess if my luggage would be declared overweight when I got there.  Having that mostly done really got the big stuff out of the way.

Tonight I worked on getting the mountain of laundry washed so everyone will have closets and drawers totally filled with clean clothes, giving three of the boys haircuts (ds3 gave himself a haircut couple of days ago, so I wanted to cut it all short so he wouldn’t look unevenly shorn – I was afraid dh might actually let him out in public looking like that – he’s more relaxed than I am in that way :)!), and taking care of the many small details.  I’m going to go do some quick exercise right after I post this, then shower and exercise again when I wake up in six hours (knowing I’ll be sitting so many hours, I want to preempt muscle stiffness or soreness as much as I can), then pack up the food in the freezer we have for dd right before we leave the house. 

I’ll take some food with me – baby carrots, grapefruit, and nuts.  I think that will be light but adequate, so that I won’t have to rely on the airplane food.  I wanted to make a crustless quiche so I could take a mini pan with me for lunch (during my 5 hour layover), but my kids told me that it seems I keep finding more and more to do, so I decided to do less as far as the food goes.  I’m also taking an empty water bottle, since the airplane air is so dry, and then I can ask the flight attendant to fill it for me without having to request multiple small plastic cups of water.

The entire family will be taking me to the airport.  It’s going to be an early morning for them, so we dressed the littles in their clothes so we can take them directly from bed to the van.  I decided to take a flight from the local airport to NJ, then to fly to Israel from there.  The ticket was more expensive, but I felt it was worth it – I didn’t want the family to have to spend seven hours in the car driving to and from the airport each time (once to take me, once to pick me up) – and I think what we would have spent in gas to drive is comparable to what I’m spending on the increased ticket price.  I should be arriving in Tel Aviv on Monday morning, then going from there to dd’s school near Haifa.

I’ll be blogging while I’m away to the best of my time limitations – my focus is on spending time with dd, and I don’t know what my computer access will be like. But I very much hope to be able to share with you about my trip as it’s happening!

Avivah

Car repairs and lots of food to dehydrate!

miscellaneous

What a nice day this is turning out to be!   Yesterday morning I simply could not get myself motivated to go to our weekly history class after having heard the night before that we’d be having sleet and snow, making for icy driving conditions, and I assumed the class would be cancelled.  When I found out at 8:22 am (I usually leave at 8:30) that class wasn’t cancelled and I was still in bed (because I was letting everyone get a slow start), I had about 60 seconds of wondering if I could get everyone dressed and ready within 8 minutes (I know, totally an insane thought), or at least make the effort and get there late.  Then I decided that there was no way I was going to try to rush out so that I could navigate icy driving conditions during rush hour to somewhere that in the best of traffic conditions is over an hour away.  I felt a little guilty but opted to stay home.  

Well, it turns out that it was really good that I didn’t go.  Because later in the day when my husband got home, he drove somewhere about ten minutes away, and on the way home the brakes totally failed – he put his foot on the pedal to slow down and nothing happened.  (Not something we’d have expected since we replaced our brakes pretty recently and had no signs of any impending problem.)  Thank G-d, he was going slowly and no one was around.  But if I’d been driving, I’d have been on an icy highway during rush hour with a van full of children and it could have been catastrophic.

Dh drove home very, very slowly and left the van close to the mechanic’s shop last night, and this morning I walked over with the keys; I’m grateful that his shop was in easy walking distance.  It was nice to get out early in the morning, and it was a beautiful day – sunny and not too cold, and getting some fresh air is always good in boosting myappreciation of life!     

I’m also glad to have found a good mechanic that we feel knows what he’s doing.  The last three major repairs we’ve had done prior to finding this mechanic were poorly done and led to constant related repairs since the underlying problems that weren’t addressed.  Dh was nervous about our van needing so many repairs, and the old mechanic told him it’s just the kind of van we have, he sees them all the time and they have so many problems.  The new mechanic told us vans like ours last for many years, that it has a strong engine and is in good shape, and we can expect it to last well past 200 – 250,000 miles.  Interesting how different their perspectives were.

Ds12 and dd10 got a ride with someone to the radio station tour that they were scheduled to go on today, and ds4 got a ride from someone else for his activity this afternoon.  In the meantime, I started dehydrating some of the food I prepared yesterday afternoon – 16 quarts of chili, 12 quarts of split pea soup, and 12 quarts of 16 bean soup.  Back in December I sent some homemade foods that I dehydrated to dd16 in Israel, and she’s finally gotten around to eating them!  She said they’re really good, and when I asked how well the chili rehydrated, she said she doesn’t bother waiting long enough because it tastes good even if it’s crunchy!  She even snacks on the dehydrated chili mix as it is. 🙂  So now I’m making up a bunch more food to take to her so she can have a taste of home. 

Right now in the dehydrator I have about half of the 16 quarts drying; once this is done I’ll go on systematically until all the pots full of food are done.  I’m hoping I can finish this by Friday midday.  It’s not the cooking the food that takes a long time, but the dehydrating of it all.  But it will be worth it to take a good amount of nutritious food to her in a compact and shelf-stable form. 

Then in the afternoon a heating technician came to tell us that our heating system isn’t working because of soot build-up and we need to replace the entire boiler ($5800), that it would be $2600 to clean it out and they say cleaning leads to spotty results that they won’t guarantee.  I wasn’t impressed by that company’s diagnosis (two visits each consisting of a minute each – $150 to tell me their opinion, that it was caused by me not sweeping the floor thoroughly enough around the boiler base :roll:).  I’m sure there’s got to be a less expensive option, so we’re doing some research.  I found a couple of compatible used boiler options if we decide to replace this, and dh spoke to a plumber who told us to vaccuum it out for starters, and said for a complete cleaning he charges $600.  That’s a lot different than $2600!  Hopefully we’ll sort it out quickly because it is rather on the cool side with no working heat!

For dinner we had a Tu B’shvat meal – dd14 made biscuits (wheat), Dutch babies with barley flour (barley), and then we had dried fruits and nuts at the end.  We didn’t have all of the seven species but it was still very nice!

The mechanic stayed late so that our van could be fixed in time for me to do my monthly shopping tomorrow, which I really appreciated.  So tomorrow will hopefully be a day of lots of bargains!

Avivah

Reconnecting with old friend

miscellaneous

It’s funny and inspiring the things that happen sometimes!

I recently was contacted by an old friend who moved to South Africa years ago.   Since the contact information I had for her changed, and she lost my mine, somewhere back in November 2006 was our last of our sporadic emails.  Several months ago, a mutual friend was visiting South Africa, so friend no. 1 asked friend no. 2 if she had contact info for me.  “No, sorry”, replied, friend no. 1, who I haven’t been in touch with for over ten years! 

Well, friend no. 1’s husband works for a school in South Africa, and at the end of this past November he traveled to England for a week to do some school related work.  While he was there, he picked up a popular Orthodox womens’ magazine that is distributed internationally but not available in South Africa to take back to his wife, thinking she’d enjoy it.  A couple of weeks later she was finally sitting down with it, and when she started reading the article about home education, it reminded her of me.  And then, lo and behold, she got to the end of the article and saw that I was the author, and my contact information was included!  Isn’t it amazing that the only issue she got was the only one I had an article in?

So thanks to my Binah magazine article, it helped two long out of touch friends reconnect!  But wait – it gets better!  My friend has two weddings to attend in Israel, and I mentioned to her that I’d also be visiting.  But from the dates she included for her trip (beginning of Jan.), it was obvious that we’d totally miss one another.  When I emailed her back to express my regret that our travel dates weren’t overlapping at all and told her my arrival date, she responded that we actually would be arriving in Israel exactly the same day!  It seems she had mistakenly written January instead of February!

She’ll be staying in Jerusalem, and since I’ll be in Jerusalem for three days, I’m very much hoping that we can meet for dinner or something to finally see each other in person!  After all of this serendipity pushing us together, it would almost be a crime not to!

Isn’t it amazing how Hashem (G-d) makes things happen to happen?

Avivah

Dd and concussion

health, miscellaneous, parenting

Yesterday was ds12’s birthday, so we enjoy a nice birthday dinner and then a special home movie.  Everyone got to sleep late, but somehow, I woke up much earlier than usual today!  I love the idea of going to sleep early and getting up early, but it doesn’t seem to work well for me at this stage of life.  So even though my early rising was prompted by concern I was feeling about dd16, I appreciated being able to have an early morning today.

On Thursday night my dd16 slipped, fell down five steps, and her head slammed into the wall.  It was a serious fall, though she didn’t pass out, and was loud enough that it brought people running from all over who heard. It was, as she put it, one of the scariest things that ever happened to her, and her friend who was with her said the same thing, that just seeing it was incredibly scary. 

As soon as I learned about this (she mentioned it on her blog), I was concerned that she had suffered a concussion, even though she insisted she was fine when I called her.  (She always plays down any pain or discomfort she has.)  I told her I wanted her to get arnica and start taking it every few hours, and find an osteopath who could do cranio-sacral work to deal with the blow to her head.  She agreed to find out about where to buy arnica and to look for an osteopath but I could tell it was because I said so, not because she was concerned. 

Yesterday morning I was surprised by an early morning call, letting me know she was on her way to the doctor since she was having so a lot of nausea and bad headaches.   Knowing how much she dislikes doctors and her tendency to tell me everything is fine, it was obvious she was worried about her symptoms, which in an of itself concerned me.  By this time, I was absolutely positive that she had a concussion, and though I didn’t have much confidence in this doctor, because I’d already heard that the feedback from students who have been there a couple of years is that the diagnostic ability/competence isn’t very high, I told dd that at least it would be valuable for assessment purposes.

When I called her back later in the day to find out how the visit was, she told me the doctor said she couldn’t have a concussion since she wasn’t vomiting, and that her symptoms were from stress.  Right.  She was perfectly healthy two days before but she got so stressed out over her relaxing and enjoyable Shabbos with friends that she starts having intense head pain and nausea, and there’s absolutely no connection to a major blow to the head the day before her symptoms began- makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?!?  This isn’t the kind of thing that instills confidence in the medical profession. 

Dd16 realized based on the reading she did about this before going that it wasn’t accurate, but the other girls in her program accepted the stress diagnosis, even though all of them are skeptical about this doctor.  Dd couldn’t understand how they were willing to accept feedback that made no sense, especially since they know her and that she’s not a person to make things up, and they know that the doctor doesn’t have a reputation for being competent.  (If you’re wondering why she went, it’s because this is the doctor the school sends the girls to.)   She found the unquestioning confidence in medical authority somewhat disturbing. 

I think it was harder for her to feel invalidated than to experience the pain and discomfort she was having, to have what she was feeling to be minimized since it must just be ‘stress’.  I said to dd that it must be hard to be in a situation where there’s not much understanding or validation for the physical symptoms she was having.  And she said, “Yes, but I’m lucky I have a mother like you to talk to.”  I really love her!  And I feel pretty lucky myself to have such a wonderful daughter.

Thank G-d we’re not dependent on this doctor to be her primary care physician, and I’m very, very grateful that her dorm counselor has an interest in alternative health so she is a great resource person for dd.  Otherwise I don’t know where she’d start trying to get the information and help that she really needs.  Her counselor even offered to lend her money for the visit to the osteopath.  I’m also grateful that we know about options to the ‘let her suffer and wait it out’ approach, and have the resources to pay for this, since private doctors are outside of the coverage of the school insurance plan. 

I was glad to speak to her early today and hear she has an appointment this Thursday with an osteopath.  She’ll have to take the day off from school to travel over 2.5 hours in each direction to get there, but the main thing is that she has an appointment!  And she was glad to tell me that a friend called her grandmother, a doctor here in the US, and told her what the doctor dd had gone to said, and the grandmother doctor said it was inaccuate information and it definitely sounds like a concussion.  Now another friend of hers in the school is planning to call her parent who is a doctor about dd, and dd is feeling better just knowing that someone else in her school knows that it’s not all in her head!  (Or should I say, that it literally is all in her head? :P)

Even though dd didn’t have a stress component regarding her concussion, I did :), and I’m also feeling much better knowing that she’ll be seeing someone who has the possibility of offering her concrete help. 

Avivah

Enjoying winter break

miscellaneous

This year I’ve done something that I often warn parents about and have consciously avoided for years – I overloaded our family schedule and it’s simply too full for comfort.  It was easy to do – the difference between a schedule that is pleasantly full and one that is too full can be just one activity/class a week.  I have something outside of the house scheduled every day of the week, and different children have various outside commitments most days of the week as well, so I don’t get as much of the relaxing family time as I would like. 

And so I’m now especially appreciating ‘winter break’.  We have a two week break from our history class, co-op classes, piano lessons, and it is SO nice!  It doesn’t feel too quiet – it feels just right.  I’m really loving being able to spend lots more time at home just being with the kids.  I’ll have to remind myself of this for the coming year! 

Something that I did with my more relaxed schedule this week was to check out two movies from the library and watch them.  I don’t watch movies often; firstly it’s hard for me to find movies that meet my criteria, and secondly, it’s hard for me to find the time to watch them.  Now that I’ve watched them, I’m definitely ready for a very long break of not watching anything!  I like meaningful movies but after watching these two on top of the last two months of three highly emotional relationship situations that I’ve dealt with, my emotions are on overdrive!  I should have found a good comedy!

Last night I watched something about a 23 year old mother of two who was diagnosed with two months to live, and how she spent those two months.  It was a very thought-provoking movie, and what I particularly was pondering was that she chose not to tell anyone that she was dying.  This bothered me but it took me a while to put my finger on why, in the meantime prompting conversations with ds11, dd14, and later dh as I asked them their opinions.  I finally realized that what bothered me was as brave and selfless a thing it was to do – to spare loved ones of worry and leave them with happy memories, bearing the lonely burden of the knowledge on herself – it didn’t give the people in her life a chance to make their last months with her meaningful, or for them to have time to prepare themselves.  

Sometimes there are things you do that you’re uncomfortable with, because it’s better for those you love.  For example, an older friend recently passed away and chose not to have any speeches at the service.  I don’t know why she made this decision, though I know despite being a remarkable person in many ways, she was very unassuming and felt there was nothing special about her.  But even though she was so humble, I felt that it would have been a comfort for those left behind to be encouraged and inspired by the memories that would have been shared.  

Then the next movie was also about family relationships, between an elderly father and his grown children who cancelled the family reunion, so he went around the country to visit them and found that things in their lives weren’t as they had been presented to him.  This was a very well-done movie but as a parent I found this somewhat depressing, even though there was a nice resolution.  It made me think about our parents getting older, and that one day I’ll be getting older, and hoping that we can all continue to have warm and loving feelings towards one another.    

 Tomorrow I’m going to enjoy going to our homeschool gathering and chatting with friends, and tomorrow night it will be early bedtime for me – I think that will be more renewing than anything else! 

Avivah

Watching the money for my trip appear!

frugal strategies, miscellaneous

I’m really getting excited about my trip to visit dd16 in six weeks!  I’ve made my ticket, reserved a studio apartment for the two of us to stay in for a few days, arranged with her school to take her out for the time I’ll be there, and now need to make arrangements with friends in a couple of different cities to spend time with them. 

I must share with you how amazingly all of this is working out.  When I decided to visit dd in Israel just two weeks ago, I didn’t have the funds to make the trip.  It’s not just the cost of a ticket, but for transportation, food, a place to stay, a passport – it all adds up really quickly.  We didn’t have the extra money from our regular budget to fund the trip, and we don’t charge expenses on a credit card unless we have the means to pay in full when the bill comes due.  I wasn’t sure where the money was going to come from but I just knew that this was a trip that I needed to make and I felt a deep inner certainty that all that I needed would come through for me.

I planned to buy my ticket last Monday night online, and was hesitant to purchase the ticket via credit card without a sense of how I’d pay for it two or three weeks later.  I had about three hundred dollars towards the ticket at that point from my parenting classes – which was a nice start, but still left a lot to cover! 

That very afternoon, a check arrived in the mail.  It was from a business contact who owed me money, who ignored invoices, emails and phone calls for over two years – and the very afternoon of the day I needed to make my ticket, the $656 I had almost given up on ever receiving showed up.  Incredible timing, isn’t it?!?

I put the check in a file folder since it was too late to go to the bank that day.   I didn’t end up making my ticket that night, either, since it was ds17’s last night at home so we ended up talking until very late at night about all that’s going on for him.  So it wasn’t until very late the next night that I made my ticket.  When I was ready to leave to the bank the next day, just hours after having made the ticket, I opened the folder to remove the check.  As I took out the check I had received, saw another envelope there.  I don’t keep empty envelopes in my files, so I checked the envelope, thinking that I must have left some kind of paperwork to file there – and found a check for $254!  A hospital had placed an order with me months ago for nursing pillows, and because I received the payment during the busy holiday season of September, I put it to the side.  And totally unlike me, completely forgot it was there. 

So far, Hashem has sent me $1191, enough to cover my ticket and almost all of my passport application fee!  When I told my dh about this, I said to him with a huge smile, “Doesn’t it seem very obvious that I’m meant to go visit dd?”  (He had been apprehensive about the cost when we initially discussed me going.)  And he very strongly agreed that Hashem (G-d) is clearly paving the way for it to happen.

It’s so amazing to see Hashem’s hand behind everything, and though a big unexpected roadblock just last night came up regarding child care while I’m gone, I trust that just as He is smoothing the path for everything else, He’ll help us resolve that issue as well.  🙂

Avivah