Avivah Werner

Category: Parenting

  • Sheva brachos reflections, my boys the waiters and the menus

    Sheva brachos reflections, my boys the waiters and the menus

    It has been a wonderfully busy and full and happy season of wedding preparations, of hosting and shopping and planning and preparing – and this week the sheva brachos for our second daughter has ended.

    I was reflecting on how nice it is to have this time to see the new couple each evening, and how valuable it is to have this week to ease the transition for both the new couple and their families. It’s been so nice to have the opportunity to get to know the family members of each of our sons-in-law. And of course, it’s extremely nice to hear wonderful things being said about the new couple (and their families :)).

    From the first sheva brachos after the second wedding- my husband and I with our three couples and ds19
    From the first sheva brachos after the second wedding- my husband and I with our three couples and ds19 in the center

    One person told me after attending the first sheva brachos that we hosted that he never was at a sheva brachos where he was repeatedly close to tears. I asked him why, and he told me that he was touched by how much love was expressed by our children for one another when each of them spoke. I was very touched by his appreciation – it helps me to not take their connection with one another for granted.

    ————————

    People have been asking me in the last couple of days if now that the weddings are over I’m resting and taking it easy.

    Well, not exactly. I do still have a number of other people in our family who have needs to tend to! It’s actually quite a list right now of things that very much need my attention – I’ll spare you the list – and that’s before taking into account any Pesach preparations!

    In any case, it will take a while to process the changes but I think everyone is transitioning well to our new normal. I’m keeping my eye on ds5; we spent time every day for three months preparing him for this because he’s very close to his big sisters and I was concerned them moving out would be a significant trauma for him. He’s been very out of sorts since the second wedding and it’s hard to know how much is being overtired and out of his usual routine. I’m positive that missing his sisters is a big part of it.

    ———————

    This past Shabbos we hosted sheva brachos in our home for Friday night dinner and shalosh seudos; friends hosted the lunch meal. I’ll share the menu for those of you who may find that helpful!

    I did something very wise and hired my younger boys (11, 10 and 8) to be the waiters. About noon on Friday I told them I had limited people I would hire and was offering each of them the possibility of waitering. To have the option of being a waiter, they needed to be dressed for Shabbos and have their room clean by 3 pm, in addition to the other tasks I had asked them to do earlier in the day. Obviously they needed to do what they were asked before and during the meals promptly and with a good attitude.

    I made a master list so ds11 would know what to do when (I made him head waiter and later gave him a tip for taking more responsibility) and took a few minutes to go over the basic run down of what to expect. My goal was to sit and enjoy the meal, and though I definitely was needed to facilitate the courses, for the most part the boys did the bulk of the work – they did a great job with smiling faces the whole night long! Afterwards they told me it was fun being a waiter. 🙂 And they were all very happy with their payment, which came out to less than 100 shekels

    Here is the menu plan!

    Friday night:

    • rolls
    • dips – chumus, techina, spicy Moroccan carrot salad
    • olives, pickles

    First course:

    • baked carp with pesto topping
    • mayonnaise

    (I was very nervous about this since I never make fish for Friday nights, and was worried about keeping it warm until it was served without it drying out. I baked it only 10 – 15 minutes, leaving it half baked. Then I put it in the oven to warm up and left it there until it was time to serve it. I was worried it would be undercooked or dried out and was so relieved when I opened the pan that it was just right!)

    Soup course:

    • chicken soup

    Main course:

    • roasted sweet potatoes with cinnamon and ginger
    • sesame broccoli
    • green beans with honey-tahini glaze
    • roasted eggplant, zucchini and onion
    • rice
    • roast chicken
    • chicken breast in coconut tomato sauce
    • salad – lettuce/cherry tomatoes/peppers/cukes

    Dessert:

    • trifle cups – whipped cream and chocolate mousse topping brownies and white cake
    • baked sliced apples
    • peanut butter coconut flour cake
    • coconut flour bundt cake topped with coconut cream and blueberries

    Shalosh seudos/third meal:

    • rolls
    • dips – chummus, fresh tomato dip, Turkish salad, eggplant dip
    • baked carp
    • salads – pineapple coleslaw, sushi salad, Moroccan carrot salad, eggplant halves drizzled with techina, purple cabbage salad with almonds and red pepper, lettuce tomato salad, tomato salad
    • cakes – assortment of bakery cakes

    I probably am forgetting something since there was a lot of food!

    We hosted dinner in our living room, which was cozy, and then had shalosh seudos on our large porch, which had more space. My husband preferred to have people sitting closer together in the beginning to give more of a feeling of togetherness and getting to know one another. It worked out really nicely!

    We were called by the daughter of a long term friend of my husband, who is in seminary this year and asked about coming this week for Shabbos with a couple of friends. I really didn’t want to say no, but my husband I agreed that we all need a quiet Shabbos this week. It will definitely be much quieter than it’s been lately, with only the youngest six boys at home; we’ll have a simple menu and hopefully some time to rest!

    Avivah

     

  • Wedding of Michal and Amitai – pics

    Wedding of Michal and Amitai – pics

    I can hardly believe that our two oldest daughters are now married!

    Last night we celebrated the first sheva brachos for Michal and Amitai. Today we had the Purim seuda in our home, and tomorrow night will begin the Shabbos sheva brachos that we are hosting! Does that hint at how extremely busy I am??

    Honestly, I should be cooking for sheva brachos right now since very little has been prepared and there’s quite a lot to do, but I’ve decided to take a break of sorts and share some of the unofficial wedding pictures with you instead. Decadent of me, isn’t it? 🙂

    It was another beautiful wedding!

    T. helping Michal get ready
    It’s nice having an older sister to help get you get ready for your wedding!

    Our lovely bride!

    Our lovely bride!

    T. helping Michal get ready
    Sisters
    All the siblings!
    All the siblings!
    Michal and Rafael (14 months)
    Michal and Rafael (14 months)
    Married 12 days!
    Married 12 days!
    Amitai placing veil over Michal
    Amitai placing veil over Michal at bedecken
    Walking to chupa
    Walking to chupa

    (For those who read my post a while back about remaking my gown for one of the weddings, this was the gown. Not that you can really see it well in the pictures, but it turned out nicely.)

    Walking to chupa
    Walking to chupa –

    We had really wanted to have the ceremony outdoors, and fortunately the heavy rain and very cold temperatures of the day before abated.

    Leading bride around the groom seven times
    Mothers escorting bride around the groom seven times
    The couple together at the end of seventh circle
    The couple together at the end of seventh circle

    Right at this point is where I got a surprise – the rosh yeshiva who was going to be officiating had gotten sick and been replaced by a Taimani (Yemenite) rav.   I would have been able to appreciate the ceremony more fully if I had known to expect some differences but even so enjoyed it.  A number of people came over to me afterward and told me how beautiful it was, that it was the first time they had attended a Yemenite wedding ceremony. It was my first time, too!

    While waiting to take family pictures after the ceremony, Yirmi makes friends with the photographers
    While waiting to take family pictures after the ceremony, Yirmi spends time with the photographers – this is the second wedding of ours that they’ve photographed so they’ve gotten to know each other!

    At our last wedding, the musicians told us it was unusually high energy group. And it was – there was a lot of love being expressed by a lot of people.

    This wedding was just a night before Purim, and with 100 plus guys from Amitai’s yeshiva, many of whom were dressed in costume, it was super pumped. Though I’ve been told weddings of guys from this yeshiva are energetic, the musician (who is also from the yeshiva) told me this was on a different scale completely. It was very, very high energy. It didn’t pause for a second.

    Our male family members had to really work to get into the center of the circle to dance with Amitai and later when Michal came to the mens’ side, to dance for them both. It was actually kind of intimidating for my younger boys, who really wanted to dance for their sister and with their new brother-in-law but didn’t feel able to force their way in. I appreciated one man who noticed ds10 and pulled him in, giving him the chance to rollerblade for the couple.

    A human pyramid - ds19 is on the top in the green wig
    Ds19 on top of the human pyramid (in the green wig)

    m wedding - on tables

    Michal throwing candies to Amitai over the divider

    After this picture, Michal’s friends put her down and continued dancing with her.

    Dancing on women's side
    Dancing on women’s side

    Amitai’s friends, who were also holding him on a tabletop, threw him up in the air repeatedly, so high that several times he hit the ceiling (which led to another interesting and memorable situation later on when his key and phone flew out of his pocket and were temporarily lost).

    Dh and I at the end of the wedding with ds11 and ds 14mo
    Dh and I at the end of the wedding with ds11 and ds 14mo

    I’ll share official pictures when we have them, which will of course include pictures of the couple together! I realize it’s disappointing not to see those. Sorry, for now I can only share the pictures I was sent. 🙁

    So that they’re represented as a couple in this post :), I’ll share a picture of them 24 hours later at their first sheva brachos.

    Married for a day!
    Married for a day!

    ——————————-

    It’s hard to believe that we have three married couples now!

    It will take some time to process all the changes happening in our family – this third wedding took place exactly a year and a week from the time Rafael entered the family (the three weddings took place within 8.5 months), so there have been four new family members in the last year! It’s been very special and emotional to see our family expand to include these beautiful people.

    Avivah

  • Choosing wedding music for the chupa

    So many little details go into preparing for a wedding!

    Right now I can’t describe the different things that I’m doing all at one time. It’s overwhelming if I try to describe it or think of all the different details that I’m arranging, and then I start to feel stressed. Dealing with one piece at a time is how this entire period of preparing for two weddings so close together has been manageable and relaxed for me.

    So I’ll just share about one piece. 🙂

    For the chupa (wedding ceremony), three songs are chosen – one for the chasan to walk down to, one for the kallah to walk down to, and one for when the cup is broken at the end. Michal asked Amitai for his feedback on what song he thought would be a good choice for her to walk down to.

    He chose a song that I love, love, love. Bo’i Kallah, by Yaakov Shwekey.  I thought it was perfect.

    And then Michal told me that she is choosing a different song.  Something that better reflects her thoughts and feelings. I didn’t think I could love a song any more than the first one, but when I heard this one, I got choked up because it is so …. her.  The song is Tefilat Kallah – Prayer of the Bride, by Yaakov Shwekey, and has had special meaning for her even prior to getting engaged.

    I’ve been practicing listening to it and not crying – so far it hasn’t worked. 🙂 I get teary at the same point every single time. But since I didn’t cry at either of the last two wedding ceremonies (even though I had to take a few deep breaths and close my eyes to keep the tears back), I’m hopeful I’ll make it through this next chupa without flooding the ceremony as well.

    The only problem with this song is that the vocal range ranges from very low and very high. Not a problem for a singer with an unusual ability to hit very high notes. But Michal has asked her oldest two brothers to sing this for her as she walks down, and they’re concerned about the necessary vocal range. We’ll see what happens!

    Avivah

  • Wedding of Tehila and Meir – pics

    On Thursday evening we celebrated the wedding of Tehila and Meir! Appropriately for a wedding on Rosh Chodesh Adar, it was an especially joyful wedding!

    Tehila started the day of her wedding by praying at the Kotel. Since a bride and groom have a special spiritual power to give blessings on the day of their wedding, she then went to a Jerusalem hospital to bless sick children and their families. In October 2015, ds5 had a serious surgery and Tehila was there when a bride came to his room to give him a blessing. She was so impressed by this that at that time, she told me when it was her wedding day, she planned to do the same. And so she did.

    The director of the ward where she visited was so touched and impressed by her that she came to the wedding to let my husband and I know what a special daughter we have. She told me that parents were crying at the beautiful blessings she gave them.

    The photos I’m able to share are dependent on what was sent to me by friends and family who took pictures from the sidelines. I don’t yet have pictures taken by Meir’s family members, and most of the pictures I have are from before the wedding when the couple couldn’t yet see each other, so he’s underrepresented only for that reason.

    Here are some pictures for now!

    Tehila - reading prayer for the brideTehila – reading prayer for the bride

    t wedding - t bouquet

    Family pic
    Family pic
    Tehila with her brothers
    Tehila with her brothers – note Rafael grabbing kippa off of ds8’s head
    Fun pic with brothers
    Fun pic with brothers!
    Rafael - almost a year since this cutie joined the family!
    Rafael – just five days short of a year since this cutie joined the family!
    My oldest son and his wonderful wife
    My oldest son and his wonderful wife
    Before bedeken
    Before bedeken
    Getting a blessing from her father at bedeken
    Getting a blessing from her father at bedeken
    Meir speaking to Tehila at bedeken
    Meir speaking to Tehila at bedeken
    Giving a blessing to her sister
    Giving a blessing to her sister after bedeken

    The chupa was so beautiful- one of the most beautiful I’ve ever been to. Actually, it was the most beautiful I’ve been to. 🙂  I was able to be very present and really appreciate each moment; it was definitely easier since this isn’t my first child to get married and I knew what to expect.

    While I managed to keep the tears at bay, I was told by a friend that there were many people crying during the chupa from deep emotion and happiness.

    Circling the chasan seven times
    Circling the chasan seven times

    t wedding - chupa 2

    Kallah circling the chasan under the chupa

    Married!! Being introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Samberg for the first time
    Married!! About to enter the hall as they are being introduced as husband and wife for the first time
    Meir dancing for Tehila
    Meir dancing for Tehila

    It was a very special evening for a very special couple!

    This is what I’ve been writing and teaching about parenting for all these years – this is what it leads to. To amazing young adults that I feel proud and humbled and grateful to call my children, watching them go onto their independent lives with the necessary skills to be successful in relationships and in life.

    Avivah

  • Having two brides in the family at the same time

    Having two brides in the family at the same time

    It’s been busy with our two upcoming weddings to prepare for and I’m sorry I haven’t been able to share more here, especially with so much going on!

    As we’re just hours away from the last Shabbos spent together before our oldest daughter’s wedding, I thought I’d share about a comment/question that I’ve been constantly hearing:

    What is it like to have two daughters engaged and getting married around the same time?

    The short answer? Amazing. Wonderful. Unbelievable blessing coming through the spiritual and emotional pipelines.

    But I realized that with this question being raised so often, maybe that’s not really saying enough.

    My daughters have also gotten comments about how hard it must be. One of them shared with me a question she was asked: “Isn’t it hard being engaged at the same time as your sister? Don’t you compare who has more and who gets more, whose chassan (fiance’) is better, etc?”

    When my daughter shared this with me, I was taken aback. I thought this revealed a lot about the questioner, but after sharing this comment with many others who agree it’s a legitimate concern, apparently what was unusual was my surprise about the sentiment expressed rather than the concern raised.

    Here’s our experience.

    Each of my daughters is marrying a wonderful guy, each who is perfect for her. Each young man is very different, with different strengths and abilities. What in the world is there to compare? Who is happier? Who got a bigger diamond? Whose fiance is more thoughtful?

    That would be ridiculous. Comparison is the last thing any of us are thinking about, especially our daughters. I think it’s amazing it is that our daughters can share this special stage of life with each other as they go through similar experiences, and they’ve said the same thing. For our family, it’s only heightened our happiness for them to be engaged at the same time. They’ve always been good friends and now this is brings an added dimension to their relationship.

    Dd23 at her engagement party with dd21

    A friend told me yesterday, “Only you could have that attitude.”

    What in the world????? Did I get pushed up onto a pedestal because I recognize and welcome the abundance of having so much positive energy in our home at one time???

    I can’t deny that there’s a lot of time and energy that is necessary. Planning a wedding is a lot of work, and doing it times two so close together is a LOT of work. That’s no contradiction to it being a wonderful experience! In fact, most of the things in life that bring us the most happiness are the things we’ve invested the most in.

    For us, the experience of having two daughters getting engaged two weeks apart, and soon to be married twelve days apart, has been about seeing how perfect Divine timing is.

    We humans can find a way to ruin anything good – no matter how good! – by finding something to complain about! I was very conscious from the beginning of the first engagement that my focus would be on my gratitude. It was important to me to be conscious of that since I knew it could very easy to get into overwhelm or complaining about how much there was to do, if that’s the direction I chose to go in.

    Yes, it’s a choice.

    The thoughts we think are a choice. What we focus on is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Gratitude is a choice. It’s not all about what is sent to us in this world, but the attitude we choose to take when various life circumstances come our way.

    Fortunately for us, in this case enjoying this period and enjoying our two brides has been an easy choice for us all!

    Avivah

  • Why perfectionism will make you believe you’re never a good enough mother

    Recently I spoke with a young mother who wanted to address some concerns she was having with her young children. As I listened to her detail all the issues she was having, I thought about how demanding her expectations were.

    When she paused, I told her, “It seems to me that you hold yourself to a very high standard that will make it impossible to ever feel good about your parenting.”  She admitted that she’s a perfectionist.

    Sometimes it’s not your children and their behavior that is the issue; it’s your unrealistic expectations of yourself.  Those high expectations can masquerade as something positive – for example, in the case of this mother, it sounded like wanting to be the very best mother possible. That sounds admirable, doesn’t it?

    Right. It sounds good, but if there’s so much tension and inner pressure about it, clearly it’s not healthy.  Saying she wanted to be a good mother was just prettying up a huge sledgehammer in her mind that she was constantly using to beat herself up since she never lived up to her perfect ideal.

    While some people think perfectionism is a positive quality, I couldn’t disagree more. Perfectionism is deeply damaging and it guarantees that a person will never feel enough, no matter how hard they try.

    perfectionism scale

    Not only does perfectionism affect you negatively, it harms your children as well, because they need to look perfect in order for you prove to yourself and the world that you’re a good enough parent. They’ll never feel good enough, either – not for you and not for them. And then they’ll internalize that perpetual inadequacy within themselves.

    Parents, step back and reevaluate your expectations of yourself and your children, to have a realistic idea of what to strive for. You will probably benefit from checking in with someone from the outside who has an objective perspective.  This isn’t about lowering the bar and saying that anything goes. Not at all. It’s being nurturing and compassionate of yourself and your children to let go of unrealistic ideas that only bring feelings of pain and inadequacy to you all.

    We all need to have space to just be, to move at a pace that is appropriate for us. That’s a critical component that allows the natural developmental process to unfold. We can’t move forward in a healthy way when the inner voice is a driving taskmaster, saying, “More, more, better, better, don’t stop because if you do you’ll never be good enough!”

    Can you let what you've already done be enough? Or do you have to do' just one more thing' to feel you've done enough?
    Can you let what you’ve already done be enough?

    I’ve said it before but it bears repeating – again and again and again.

    You are enough as you are right now. Really.

    And when you can let yourself feel that, ironically you’ll then free up some emotional energy that can applied to being more of who you want to be – from a place of self-love, not self-shaming.

    Avivah

     

     

  • Really busy but not stressed – well, mostly not!

    Really busy but not stressed – well, mostly not!

    We have just under a month before Tehila’s wedding and then twelve days later Michal will be getting married!

    A number of their friends have commented that I must be stressed out planning for two weddings so close together. No, I’m not. 🙂

    Having said that, I’ve been conscious about creating space inside myself to keep centered. That means recognizing what is necessary and what isn’t. So even though I technically have time to write here, there’s been a longer lag than usual since I’ve been choosing to leave myself some time that isn’t filled with activity in the evenings.

    It’s not just planning for the two weddings but also the time of year that it falls out that adds to the intensity of what needs to be done. Of course there’s the week of sheva brachos celebrations nightly following each wedding – I didn’t know until my son got married that it’s the sheva brachos that really wipe you out!

    The second wedding will be the night before Purim; we’ll celebrate Purim, and the next day we’ll go right into the Shabbos sheva brachos we’re hosting. When people hear the specifics of the dates they look at me and ask with great intensity, “But HOW are you going to do that???”

    I tell myself (and them) I’ll just keep it simple and it will all get done. That works to keep me from getting stressed about it all.

    A couple of days ago, someone said to me, “All the work you’ve done on yourself for years is going to come into play right now.” She’s a life coach – can you tell? 🙂 She’s right, though. Years ago I could have done everything that needed to be done, but not without stressing myself and everyone around me.  I wouldn’t even have had the goal that I have now, let alone the internal tools to meet that goal – to enjoy this very special season of life and to be emotionally present and relaxed.

    So much to do!
    So much to do!

    ——————————

    Here’s an update on some of the non-wedding stuff I’m busy with this week:

    Right now we’re working on making different school arrangements for ds15. The new program he was in hasn’t actualized in the manner it was originally described. Good people and good intentions, but different than what we signed him up for and not a match for him.

    I’m starting the process of registering Rafael for a specific day care for the coming year – this day care has a special inclusion program and there’s a lot of demand for the very limited spots. I met director yesterday, got the registration form, and toured the facility. In a couple of days the evaluations and letters of recommendation I requested last week from different professionals should be ready.

    If you’re wondering why I’m putting Rafael in day care since I’m home with the other kids… there are things I need to do because he’s a foster child. I was initially told he needed to start day care this past September when he was nine months but I pushed for him to be able to stay home with me for another year. My goal is to find the best option for him; I have a good feeling about this particular program and think it will be a good match for us.

    Speaking of educational plans for next year, I’m also beginning the application process for Yirmi to attend a gan safa (kindergarten with a language focus) in the coming September.  Though it seems incredibly early to be thinking about next year,  it’s not! This is exactly when all the applications start to go in for the next school year. This week I’ve been working on getting his paperwork together and hope to open a file for him with the municipality this week.  I’ve been told that I’ll need to advocate strongly to get him in to a gan safa since they prefer to place children with T21 in lower functioning frameworks rather than with ‘typical’ children with language delays. But there are enough parents who have already done this that it’s not blazing a new trail to get this accommodation.

    It might seem ironic or confusing that I’ve just spent all this time and energy to procure an authorization to homeschool him for the current school year and here I go turning around to get him into the school system for next year! It’s actually because of the positive experience dealing with the bureaucracy that I feel ready to deal with this gan process. Prior to this, I was concerned that if Yirmi was in gan safa (which I think he would LOVE!), I would be refused an authorization to homeschool him the following year. Now I’ve decided to take the advocacy for him one year at a time and not worry about what will happen too far down the road.

    Oh – and yes, Rafael is still waking up in the middle of the night! Not loving that very much. 2 am looks much better to me when my head is undisturbed on my pillow. 🙂 Actually, 7 am looks much better to me when my head has been undisturbed from my pillow at 2 am. 🙂 So goes life!

    Avivah

     

  • Rafael is one!

    Rafael is one!

    Our little Rafael is growing fast and just celebrated his first birthday!

    It’s been ten months since he joined our family. Ds11 told me he doesn’t feel like it’s been that long – on one hand, it feels like he’s always been with us and on the other, time has flown by!

    Here’s a picture of Yirmi (then 4.5) and Rafael (2 months) in the first hour after he arrived home.

    Yirmi holding Rafael on his first day home
    Yirmi holding Rafael on his first day home

    Here they are again, ten months later!

    Yirmi (5.5) and Rafael (1)
    Yirmi (5.5) and Rafael (1)

    Rafael is super active, cute and generally a very happy little guy. We appreciate that except at 2 am, when we would rather he sleep. 🙂

    One year old - hurray!
    One year old – hurray!

    Grateful for this little member of our family and we look forward to many more birthdays to come!

    Avivah

  • The joy of watching dreams manifest in my life

    The joy of watching dreams manifest in my life

    Two nights ago we had the official engagement party for Tehila and Meir. The only thing missing was that we didn’t get a family picture with our new couple. 🙁  It wasn’t for lack of wanting one! Fortunately, the wedding is in just seven weeks so we’ll make up for that soon. 🙂

    I’m happy to have a picture of our lovely new couple, though!

    Tehila and Meir at their engagement party

    We are so deeply grateful and happy to welcome Meir to our family. It’s a very special thing to watch your child find the person she wants to spend her life with, and we all like him almost as much as she does!

    ********************************

    Several months ago, I was contacted by a writer for Mishpacha magazine. They were planning a new column that would come out monthly over the course of a year, interviews with women who had fulfilled a dream. She wanted to know if I would be willing to be interviewed.

    At that time, I shared with her about my most recent vision that had come true, of Rafael joining our family.  They held off on printing my interview since they said I was too well- known and didn’t want me to be featured in the beginning of the series.

    My interview for the Dreamscapes column came out last week in Mishpacha’s Family First, right in the middle of this very special season of celebration for our family.  And as this issue came to print, I’ve been thinking a lot about the manifestation of a different vision that has been very close to my heart for years that is unfolding right now.

    In February 2011, I spoke to my husband about the possibility of making aliya that summer, with nine children ranging in age from 2 – 18. To say he was lukewarm to the idea would be putting it mildly! One of the things I told him then was the following:

    “In another five years, our kids will be dating and getting married. We already know that the older two girls want to live in Israel when they’re married. It’s not likely that Baltimore will be very compelling for any of them.

    We’ve invested so much in our family and that connection is very important to us, but over time our kids will end up living in completely different parts of the US and even the world.  The older our family gets, logistically it’s going to be very hard to continue to physically be there for one another.  But if we move to Israel now while all the kids can make the move with us, hopefully by the time they’re ready to get married, they’ll want to stay in Israel. And hopefully being in the same small country, we’ll be more able to be physically present for one another even after they’re married.”

    It’s a huge credit to my husband that he agreed to make the move, despite his hesitations. We shared the vision of continued physical proximity and connection as our family expanded, and it continued to be an important factor in our decision making process when we moved from Karmiel in the periphery of Israel to much more centrally located RBS less than three years ago.

    I don’t take it for granted for a second that we’re been able to be present for these moments in the lives of our adult children. And I don’t take it for granted that each of our three couples is starting their lives here in Israel. What I feel is a very deep sense of humility and gratitude for Hashem’s kindness to us.

    Avivah

     

  • Celebrating Chanuka, a birthday….and another engagement!!!

    Celebrating Chanuka, a birthday….and another engagement!!!

    Dd22 celebrated her 23rd birthday on the first night of Chanuka in a very special way – by getting engaged!

    We are delighted to announce the engagement of Tehila to Meir Samberg of Memphis, TN!

    tehila and meir engaged

    The l’chaim was at our house last night (the first night of Chanuka).

    For Michal’s lechaim exactly two weeks ago, I shared a picture of the expanded Werner ladies group.  Below is the expanded Werner guy group. 🙂

    L - r: ds11 months, dh, ds24, Meir (dsil1);
    L – r: ds11 months, dh, ds24, Meir (dsil1);ds15, ds11, ds18, Amitai (dsil2), ds10; front: ds8 and ds5
    Dh and I with our three couples!
    Dh and I with our three couples! L- r: dh, ds24, dsil2, Meir (dsil1), Tehila (dd23), dd21, ddil1, Avivah

    I can’t tell you what a beautiful feeling it is to watch one’s children find their soulmate! Each and every one has chosen such a special person who is uniquely suited to him/her. Really, it’s remarkable. And so exciting!

    The engagement party will be this Monday evening from 8 – 10 pm in RBS at the Bais Mordechai shul. If you’re reading this and are local, please consider this an invitation!

    Avivah