Today my 7 and 9 year olds completed the Junior Rangers program run for the month of July by the state park service.  I was very pleased with the quality of the programming.  They met once a week for every week in July (5 times total) for 2 1/2 times each meeting.  Each week, they had a different topic they learned about, and did learning activities and games connected to it.

The first week was an introduction to wildlife management.  The second week they did insects, the third was fishing (they made their own fishing rods out of bamboo), the third they learned about camping, and today was first aid/basic survival (they made their own first aid kits for hiking trips and a trail mix).  They learned so much very solid information!  And in such a relaxed and enjoyable environment, too – I appreciate that kind of learning.  There was so much science they learned, and fortunately, me telling them that doesn’t make the program less appealing to them.  🙂  There is also an award ceremony and family campout scheduled for the night of August 2 at 7 pm, but that unfortunately won’t work for us, since our family would love to go.

Tonight at dinner they told us all about how to help someone suffering from heat stroke, hyperthermia, and how to flip over someone to their side who is unconscious.  They went on to demonstrate the method on each other while we watched.  They they used their 6 year old brother to show us how to carry someone injured.  I was so impressed at how much important information was given over clearly enough for even young kids to feel confident and comfortable with it.

Then my 13 year old daughter, who did cpr and first aid certification last year at camp, showed us how to do the Heimlich maneuver, using her 15 year old brother as her ‘dummy’.  I think that real life skills like these are important to have, and am glad my children are learning them.  And it made for an interesting dinner, too!

Avivah

People sometimes ask for books that I would recommend on homeschooling.  Though I have lots of books I’ve found valuable, my book recommendations are to go to your library and read everything that you can find on homeschooling.

You’ll find things that resonate with you, and other things don’t fit you. I have found certain books helpful to me because they speak to my way of doing things. There are other widely recommended books, like The Well Trained Mind, that would a very poor fit for my family and make me neurotic.

I personally have an eclectic approach, and have gained from a variety of sources. I’ve liked Ruth Beechik, Mary Hood, Karen Andreola, Raymond and Dorothy Moore, and another married couple whose name escapes me right now (Charlotte Mason approach, I think the book was called The Wholehearted Child). I usually recommend Linda Dobson’s early years book for new homeschoolers of young kids. I like the Robinson approach as far as independent learning goes (that’s an online resource). I like the unschooling materials for a reminder that learning is natural and should be joyful.

I’ve read just about everything that’s been written on homeschooling, and come to the conclusion that there’s always someone who some book will be helpful to, even if that person isn’t me. I’ve thought alot about all that I’ve read, and crafted an individualized approach for my family based on all of my thinking and reflection.

So I hesitate to recommend any book or approach to everyone because each person needs to find what’s right for them.

Avivah

A question I frequently hear is: “How do you have time for yourself?”

First of all, I have to say that I truly enjoy spending time with my kids – they’re great company! Enjoying your kids is critical, but you need to learn how to carve out time for yourself and your needs, so that you don’t get burnt out. You must recognize your own needs as valid and find ways to meet them.

Homeschooling doesn’t mean being on active duty all day long. There are lulls and quiet periods. There is early morning or later in the evening time, and if you have a husband who can make himself available, then he can be home while you get out.

How you meet your needs depends on what you enjoy. I didn’t have money for a babysitter when my kids were all little, I didn’t have a husband who had a schedule that made it possible to watch the kids, I didn’t have any friends or family members who could give me a break, but I still found ways to have time for myself. It can be something as simple as some quiet time to read a book, take a relaxing bath, call a friend, or have a cup of tea. The key is to take the time and take it regularly.

Here’s something I did when I had six kids ages 9 and under, and had all the limitations I just shared with you. I found that a short break in the middle of the day kept me going and I didn’t get worn down. I instituted a daily rest time for every child. I would put the infant and toddler in for a nap, then everyone else had to stay in their beds for an hour. They didn’t have to fall asleep, but they had to stay there quietly. They could read, quietly play a game or do a puzzle (they chose it before rest time), but there was no talking or getting out of bed allowed until rest time was over. This gave me regular daily time to know I would have for myself without having lots of little people around. I don’t remember how long I kept that up – but it was a huge help, and something I would do even now if I felt I needed it.

Be very careful that you don’t end up using your free time to clean up. I do stay up in the evenings when the kids are asleep and do some straightening up, but not for long.  I would resent spending my precious quiet time cleaning up the messes of the day. No matter how much you love your kids and spending time with them, you need to have some space for yourself or you’ll end up claustophobic and wanting to put them in school so you get a break.

Don’t give that quiet time up for something that can be done in the daytime when the kids are awake, with them. It’s that space that makes us able to give all day long, and enjoy it. Lose the space, and you lose the enjoyment.

Avivah

This is a matter of opinion, and I can only give you mine.

1) You need to enjoy being around your child. This is crucial.  The nice surprise about spending more time with your children is that you will enjoy each other more, so it gets easier and easier to spend time together.

2) Your reason for homeschooling should be because you think your children will benefit.

3) A parent should be home with the children.  This may sound obvious, but I’ve gotten calls from parents working full time who want to leave the child with a paid tutor.  That’s not homeschooling.

4) It’s preferable when both spouses agree, even if one is reluctant, so that it doesn’t become an issue that affects marital happiness.  

5) You should basically be able to cope with daily life before adding the additional demands of having kids home all day.   If you have serious depression, get anxious and hyper stressed by having your kids around, or something similar, leave them in school.  You’ll all be happier.

I also don’t support people whose children have been kicked out of school, who have no desire to interact with their child, are looking for someone else to do it all for them – parents need to understand that homeschooling is about the parent-child relationship, not a way to dump their kids onto someone else. I’ve gotten too many calls like this, and used to spend time helping the parents explore what homeschooling meant, but then it became obvious that they weren’t interested in what was best for their child, just what was an easy solution to their problem. 

I don’t think that you have to be very organized, though it is helpful.  I’ve had two minds about this.  Someone once who was clearly very disorganized asked me about homeschooling, and my first reaction was to discourage her.  But later I heard her interacting with her kids, and she was so incredibly loving that I realized she had the number one criteria in abundance.  Basic organizational skills can be learned, and a chaotic house can reduce the joy of homeschooling for everyone.   So while it’s not crucial to be organized, it is helpful.

You don’t have to be very patient, knowledgeable about whatever you’re teaching, have a teaching background, a spotless house, lots of money.   You can learn to be more patient, and learn new information alongside your children.  A messy house is a sign that things are happening there!  And there are plenty of ways to homeschool on a very small budget. 

It’s helpful to develop a strong backbone and believe in what you’re doing, but this is something that may develop with time and needs to be regularly reviewed and renewed.

Avivah 

The last couple of days in the van, I was finally listening to some homeschooling cassettes I got a year ago!  They were tapes from a homeschooling convention, and the person I received them from had a lending library for their support group, and decided to give them away when the group disbanded.  She made them available at a very poorly advertised curriculum sale last year, and I was one of the only buyers who came.  (And I got an amazing amount of stuff that evening for $25 – that was very fun but it was kind of a fluke and not something that I can count on happening again.) 

I’ve only listened to two of the cassettes so far, but I’m really enjoying it.   While we were listening to the first one, my 9 year old son kept saying, “That sounds like our family!” as the speaker gave examples of the kind of things they do and why.  It really did sound like us.  I think it was just as validating for my son to hear that we do all of these things recommended by this national speaker as it was for me. 

There are so many things about homeschooling that I love, but there’s not often many opportunities to share them with others, or hear it discussed.  So although I could have given these lectures from a position of more years of experience than the speakers and so far I haven’t heard anything novel (though there are a bunch of cassettes to go!), it was still really nice to hear.  Someone today told me she went to a weeklong retreat for homeschoolers, where they had workshops, meals, and activities for their kids together, and how encouraging and supportive it was. 

I can’t go to retreats like the one she attended for religious reasons, but listening to these cassettes gives me a feeling of that kind of support.  Something I’d love to do but have yet to make time for is put into writing my thoughts on a wide variety of homeschooling topics and issues.  I speak to so many people and answer their questions when they call or when I bump into them, and a little bit online, and I keep thinking it would be good if I could point them to something I’ve written about this so I don’t keep answering all the same questions!  I don’t have enough time in the day.  🙂  This week I made the decision to start a blog for it (step one!), but now I have to actually write up some posts!  Then there would be a little more of that much needed support for other homeschooling moms who share my religious beliefs.  (I’ll share the link with you once I get something put up on it, for those of you who might appreciate that info.)

Avivah

Today I took two of my kids to a nature program in one of the state parks.  They meet every Thursday for 2.5 hours for the month of July.  I decided to sign them up to give the week a bit of structure, so that there would be something special to look forward to each week in addition to whatever other trips and activities I plan. 

It was a very nice program, though my 9 yo seems to enjoy grumbling about the activities I plan.  I almost don’t hear him anymore, or I just laugh at him when he tells me how bad it was.  Tonight my 7 year old daughter told me she thinks he complains because it’s fun, because they were together at the activities and he was having fun the entire time.  They hiked, played games, did crafts, and learned useful information – and every minute of it is science.

 While they were busy with their activities, the other three kids and I went to the two acre playground just a few minutes walk away.  The 6 year old took the 2 year old around, up and down slides, climbing and jumping up and down the different things available – usually he doesn’t get to play the part of big brother because he has so many older siblings around who do it better than him.  He told me that it was very hard (though having been the youngest for almost 4 years, he has the typical personality of a youngest child, of everything being too much work), but at dinner, when we went around the table and everyone shared the best part of their day, he said taking care of his little brother at the playground was his favorite thing! 

When we picked up the 7 and 9 year olds, they were excited to share with me one particular piece of information they learned on their hike.  The naturalist pointed out berries that were edible to the group, and mentioned that a lot of people like to can them.  You know that didn’t escape their attention!   A few minutes later, they pointed out the berries, called wineberries.  We spontaneously decided to extend our outing and do some berry picking.  We picked about a quart of berries.  It wasn’t too much when I think of canning them, but when I think of buying a quart of raspberries in the store, it seems like a lot!

And the picking of the wineberries themselves was like an activity.  I don’t mind spending time on things like this because I treat it like a fun part of the day, not a chore to get through.  They have thorns, though, and my 26 month old had a hard time getting to where the berries were without getting pricked. I ended up spending most of my time finding canes for him to pick from that were isolated from others, so he could reach in without hurting himself.  We’ll pick some next time we go, and hopefully more will be ripe so that we can gather a bunch while we’re out.

Avivah

It seems that libraries all over the country have motivational summer reading programs, to encourage kids to read during their summer vacation.  And since everyone agrees that reading is a good thing, these programs must be a good thing, right?

 I don’t think that they’re bad, but I don’t particularly care for them.  When my kids were younger, I didn’t sign them up for it, but now that they’re older and have asked to do it, I agreed.  My concern about reading programs is that the stress is on external motivation – the underlying message is, ‘read a book so you can get a prize’, though they supposedly are saying ‘read a book because reading is fun’.  There’s no difference if you read a 30 page easy reader or a challenging thick novel, so if someone is focusing on reading a certain amount of books to get points or prizes, they’re going to read the short and easy books. 

I love reading, and am constantly broadening my knowledge of many things thanks to my reading, and want my kids to also love reading.  The environment in our house is very book friendly – we read books to our littlest kids, have oodles of books around of our own and from the library, and continue reading out loud as a family as the kids get older.  As a result, my kids all enjoy books.

I think external motivation cheapens the value of what you are trying to motivate a child to do.  The underlying message is, ‘reading by itself isn’t fun, so we’ll give you prizes because that’s the only way to get you to do it’.  There’s a place for that, since it might pull in reluctant readers and help them find that reading is enjoyable.  But it tends to demotivate, or only works for the duration of the incentive program.  I remember participating in a school reading contest in fifth grade – I watched as kids who never read copied titles from the classroom library onto their forms and filled up their sheets.  Seeing that, it became obvious to me that the contest wasn’t going to be based on who actually read and what they read, which was supposedly the point.  I was an avid reader, and I went over to the shelves and copied down the titles of books I had read before the contest started – I still remember feeling wrong about the whole scenario.  The kids who didn’t read were cheating, the kids who did read were cheating.  And for what?

I want my kids to be lifelong readers, who want to read and enjoy reading.  I don’t want them to have the on/off pattern that has been demonstrated to be the norm with these kind of contests.  In order to ensure that they challenge themselves in their reading, I have a selection of books that my kids need to read from each day for a certain amount of time.  These are all good books, but they also have more complex sentence structure and vocabulary than they might choose on their own. 

So why do I let my kids participate in the summer reading programs? Because my kids already enjoy reading and they aren’t allowed to change their reading standards just to participate.  My kids have mandatory daily reading time (in addition to the free reading they do on their own), and if they want to write down those books on their library reading lists, that’s fine with me.

Avivah