>>hi avivah! i am assuming that you probably have dealt with this question before, but i have a question about frugality of time. since reading your blog, i have become more aware of being frugal with all of my resources- space, energy, money, and time. so, the most recent question has to do with being frugal with time- how do you balance buying disposables- if you do at all- with choosing carefully how to spend your time? i have a few children of dishwashing age, but not enough to deal with the overwhelming amount of things that need to be washed. also, having constant piles in my kitchen stresses me out and limits my workspace in a room that is already hot and crowded. so, i am trying to weigh spending money on disposable cups, plates, etc. with making better choices about how we spend our money. any advice?? <<
I’m going to first link some of my past posts on related topics that I think will be helpful. My kids do the dishes – here is our chore schedule from this past year (it’s time to make a new one for the coming year). Two of the four oldest really don’t like this part of the schedule, and can’t wait for me to change the chore chart for this year. But even when they weren’t doing dishes, I hardly used disposables at all.
Here is how I generally organize our house cleaning. This was written two years ago so some of the specifics are different now since we shifted chores around and took into account the kids’ requests for how they wanted to do things, but you’ll get the basic idea.
But in the end, you have to decide what your priorities are.
Practically speaking, remember that you can gradually cut back on your use of disposables – you don’t have to go cold turkey! It might be too much to totally stop using disposables right away, so try it for your smallest meal of the day. Or you can use paper plates for meals but use regular cups (or vice versa), or use disposables during the week and dishes on Shabbos (or vice versa). Start to cut back on your use of disposables gradually. It’s about progress – slow and steady wins the race. Start small, and when that has become natural and part of your routine, you can add something else small.
It’s really how you want to spend your time that you have to determine. Don’t mentally overwhelm yourself before you even start by piling on the work! You know yourself. If you can’t stand a mess and you don’t think you can give your kids at least part of the responsibility for dishwashing, then maybe you should focus your money saving efforts somewhere else. (I’m sure your kids will be happy if you ignore my suggestion to get them more involved in cleaning. My kids came home this past year from their friends’ home – the ones they always told me did much fewer chores than they did – and announced that because the mother spoke to me, now the kids are washing the dishes. It’s amazing that her kids still smile at me when they see me! :lol:) There are lots of areas you can save money in and it’s overwhelming to try to work on them all at once. It’s definitely true that the more you do for yourself, the more you save, but we all have limitations of time and energy.
Avivah
This leads me to a question I’ve had for a while. My 4 year old wants to wash dishes, and I try to let him do little cups and stuff, but I don’t trust him yet to do anywhere near a decent job, so I redo all that he does.
How do you teach them to do a decent job without making them feel bad and dissuading them from wanting to do more?
I rewash dishes, resweep the floor, etc, when they’re not around, usually at night when they’re in bed. They feel great about helping, they’re learing the skills, and they don’t know that I do touch ups in areas where it’s necessary. As they get older, I’ll sometimes point things out – ‘see here this is greasy? It helps to use more soap when you’re washing greasy dishes.’ I also point out when they’ve done something well – ‘The counter looks fantastic! You did a really thorough job on it!” Of course, you can’t be patronizing or sound like you’re trying to make them feel good.
Sometimes with dishes and little kids, I give them a quick prewashing so that most of the food is off, and then let the kids scrub away and rinse them. It gets very wet around the sink area but they enjoy it, and making chores fun when they’re little is important.
thanks again for the reminder to take one step at a time- it’s easy to see the big picture of a project and forget that “rome wasn’t built in a day”. and i love your advice about training your kids to do the chores. it makes me wish i had a mother like you!! actually, my husband and i have been secretly plotting to borrow one of your children to come here and sort us out- hahaha!! hugs all the time- julie
Yeah, and it keeps them busy in a productive way 🙂 (Sometimes it can get annoying as we have only one sink, but I generally let him wash in the bathroom sink if I really can’t give him the kitchen sink to use.)
I just have to remember what needs rewashing. I don’t want him to feel bad, and I think at 4, he won’t understand much positive criticism in terms of washing dishes thoroughly, so I guess for now I’ll keep it as is. He’s still young.