I’m writing this as I sit on the balcony overlooking the Mediterranean Sea, the sound of waves filling the air, the palm trees along the promenade swaying in the breeze and the new moon shining down on the water.
I’m here because of a question I asked myself several months ago.
I periodically ask myself life direction/mission statement kind of questions, to help me clarify the path I want to go on and the person I want to be. Life is busy and there’s always someone who needs something or something that needs to be done, and it can be hard to keep a long term perspective in the short term living.
My family has been a huge part of my mission statement work over the years, and I ask myself questions about the mother I want to be, the family I want to raise, the qualities that are important to me to nurture in our children, and other stuff along those lines.
Asking (and answering!) these questions really matters. It’s not just an intellectual exercise. When I get clarity about what’s important to me, those things then take priority and I can put energy towards them. Sometimes that energy is physical, sometimes it remains at the level of thought.
Back in January, I asked myself the following question: what would make me feel abundant? One answer that immediately came zooming out of my pen was, a week long vacation with my family. This thought about an extended vacation had been percolating since the summer, and putting it on paper pushed it up to a higher level of consciousness.
We were really busy in March and April with holiday preparations, a new grandchild, bar mitzva preparations and home renovations. This was the perfect time to get away to decompress and recharge together as a family.
And so here we are at the beach for a week! All of our kids weren’t here – ds16 decided not to come, dd18 came for the first two days, ds13 came for the first four days – and our oldest daughter came the first full day we were here with her five week old baby to enjoy some time together.
Ds6 and ds9 hugging each other against the surf seconds before unexpectedly being knocked down by a powerful wave.
My husband was able to join us after a couple of days, so it’s mostly been the two of us with the five younger boys. For Shabbos it will be just us with the youngest four boys.
It has been so, so wonderful! My oldest son asked me if as a mother it’s still a vacation for me. I hesitated before responding. It’s a lot of work going away with children, but I’m enjoying our time together, especially in a place that is so beautiful.
It’s true that I would spend my time differently if I were here on my own. I would spend almost all day at the beach if it were just me, watching the waves, breathing deeply, thinking, reading, writing, walking…..
But being busy with the kids doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying myself. I absolutely am, and am so glad to have this opportunity.
Knowing that I start to feel resentful when I put a lot of energy towards meeting the needs of others and ignoring my own desires, I’ve been very conscious of making time to spend in a way that feels ideal for me. So far, that has meant going out to the beach in the early morning, shoes in hand, walking along the water of the shoreline.
That’s honestly blissful for me. I just love it. There’s something that happens inside, a quietness and calm that fills me without any effort on my part – it’s something I love, that deep and powerful energy of being in nature.
It’s amazing what we can create in our lives when we ask ourselves good questions!
Avivah
