Today I made a meal for someone who had a baby somewhat recently.  For me, it was a day of one thing after another, very tight time scheduling all around, but I managed to make a nice meal for her family of 9.  And I was very glad to get her the meal at the time she needed it.  It meant readjusting the playdate time of three kids and the grandchild-grandparent outing for another because I couldn’t be where I was planning to be for them on time, and my baby being totally off his usual sleep schedule,  but I was glad to be able to do it. 

When I went to drop dinner off at their home, the family was standing outside the yard  I pulled into the driveway.  I saw the husband climbing into his van, so I asked the mother if she could ask one of her older kids (who were standing a few feet away) to take the box that had the pans of food in it out of my van, thinking it would be the quickest thing (like about thirty seconds), and because my baby was sleeping I didn’t want to have to stop and get out.  (Have you ever noticed the effect turning off the engine has on a sleeping baby?  Mine all wake up.)

In response, she told me to move my van so her husband could get out.  And then went back to her discussion with whoever was there, along with all of her kids.  I was a little taken aback, but I parked, got out, took out the food (waking up my baby), and gave her the box with all the pans. 

She took it, hardly paying more attention to me than a fly.  I guess she was too busy to say ‘thank you’.  From the time I drove into the driveway and to when I pulled out, I was there less than three minutes, and I drove away feeling unhappy to have gone to all the effort and then be treated like a nuisance. 

If you’ve ever made a meal for someone, you know how it is.  You usually make something nicer than what you make for your own family.  You spend the time, money, and effort to do something nice and you want to have some recognition, even if it’s just a verbal thanks.  I’ve made many meals for people, but I’ve never had a response like this, and I was feeling bothered to be treated as I was.

But I try not to enjoy stewing in my own juices, so I started thinking about how to mentally change my focus.  That meant thinking about why was I willing to make a meal for her in the first place?  Because I thought she was so busy that it would take some pressure off of her.  And I accomplished that.  In fact, if she was so distracted or focused on something/someone else that she couldn’t show any recognition or appreciation to me, then it was the perfect time to give her a meal and make her evening easier.  That was a sign that she needed that meal even more than I thought!

That thought really saved me from processing about this interaction, and I’m so grateful that I was able to mentally detach myself enough to think about her needs.  I want to be a person of joy and positivity, and it’s hard to be that kind of person if I let little things like this drag me down.

Isn’t it wonderful how many opportunities we have every single day for character growth?!?

Avivah