“What do you do when the husband and wife disagree on the importance of homeschooling, or how the homeschooling should be done?” 

I’m a strong proponent of clear and honest communication between spouses when it comes to homeschooling (and everything else, actually!). I think that in the vast majority of cases, one parent feels more passionately than the other about it, but it really helps when both are on the same page.  Trying to homeschool without at least the passive support of the less enthusiastic spouse is a recipe for disaster.  So I don’t support a family homeschooling if one parent is antagonistic.  Homeschooling isn’t just about an academic option to school; it’s about an entirely different way of life that is family centered.  And the family needs to positively centered on the same things!

I recently read something in which the writer stated that in their family, they had areas that each spouse was responsible for, and when there was a conflict in that area after open and honest discussion, the spouse whose jurisdiction it wasn’t deferred to the one whose it was (eg, the husband made the choices regarding the family business and the wife made the decisions regarding the raising of the kids). This comes to mind because the parent who is responsible for the homeschooling should be the one who is trusted with the final say about it, in my opinion.

This might seem obvious, but I speak to mothers who are trying to balance what they want to do and how their husbands want them to do it, and there’s an impossible conflict.  A homeschooling parent isn’t a hired worker to the other parent, implementing the bosses ideas regardless of their feelings or thoughts on the matter.  And you can’t have two bosses. Of course you should create a vision for your children together, but it’s not fair for one spouse to expect the other to do it the way they want it done and not give them the trust and latitude necessary to find their own style. So I think that once the decision is made to homeschool, the parents need to agree to defer in the case of disagreement to the one who is doing the homeschooling.

Avivah