Monthly Archives: May 2009

Fun aquisitions for the kids

frugal strategies, homemaking

Today I was inspired to declutter and reorganize my basement.  What?    You’re wondering how it could possibly need to be cleaned if it was done thoroughly just eight weeks ago for Pesach?  Well, the reality of my home is that spotless stays that way for about three minutes, longer only if the kids are all sleeping.  Maybe some of you can relate. 🙂

Lest you think that I’m nesting and that’s why we did this today, I was actually inspired by a couple of new (to me!) aquisitions.  A preschool upgraded some of their indoor climbing equipment, and I’m now the new owner of 2 extremely well made solid wood climbing structures as well as one slide.  We put one in the living room – my kids’ idea, not mine – and one in the basement.  (I got the third with the intent to give it to my inlaws, for when my kids go there to play, but they decided they don’t have the space for it.  So I’ll have to find someone else to pass it along to – feel free to contact me if you’re in the area and interested!  *Update – taken!  Enjoy it, M!*)  Because our basement isn’t huge, when something new comes in, something else has to go.  So we are giving away the puppet theater my kids built last Chanuka for a performance they did for a large visiting family, along with some other small things that we decided to pass along when we uncovered them.  And once you start moving one thing, then you end up moving everything else around, too!

The structures are very sturdy – they are made of solid wood and well made.  One is made by Creative Playthings, the other is made by Community Playthings.  They are actually 40 years old and have been used in a preschool all that time, but look like they’ll easily last through my children and grandchildren!  When my dh saw them, he commented that we’re used to thinking of everything as disposable and cheaply made, but seeing something that has held up to significant use for years and still is in great condition is a reminder that things used to be built to last. 

We did a search out of curiosity to see how much things like this are selling for from these companies, and it’s alot!  Of course, the newer models are much fancier than what we got.  But fancier doesn’t mean better, and when we got home, ds10 exclaimed over what a great toy it was.  He said the mother of a friend of his has the exact same thing for her daycare, and though he and his friends are much older and bigger than what it’s intended for, they climb all over it and it’s very strong. 

My ds15 wanted to know how we were able to get them, since I told him what the woman in charge told me, that they had 40 responses in a very short time, and I wasn’t the first one.  Here’s the answer – I took the initiative to call them.  There was no phone number in the post, but based on the email address, was able to make a pretty good guess what the name of the preschool was and looked it up.  When I called yesterday, the person in charge had left for the day, but the secretary told me there were so many emails that they were overwhelmed and hadn’t answered any of them yet.  I asked if it would be okay if I called in the morning, and because she said ‘yes’, I did.  I got the woman I needed just a few minutes after she got in to work, and she was very glad to have me come over right away and take them home with me – she said it saved her having to call people, leave messages, wait for someone to come (or not), and just generally drag the process out.  She was really a lovely person and told me how happy she was to see them going to our family.   

My little ones are already enjoying them so much!  My ds20 months is particularly a climber, and he was very excited when he woke up from his nap and saw the climbing structure in the living room.  And he stayed busy on the slide in the basement while we were reorganizing.  Surprisingly, the kids ages 6 – 12 are really enjoying it, too – they think it’s a great place to sit and hang out.

Wasn’t that a good reason to reorganize the basement?

Avivah

Getting kids to bed without screaming

parenting

>>How do you get your kids to bed without screaming?  My 3 and 5 year olds give me lots of excuses for getting out of bed, and the only thing that finally gets them to stay in bed is when I yell at them.  I feel horrible about this but I just don’t know what else to do.  And what makes it even worse is that it isn’t even effective long term – the next night the same thing happens. << 

Putting kids to bed can be a pleasure or a nightmare.  For the most part I’ve enjoyed bedtimes, but can remember when my kids were very little and wouldn’t stay in, no matter what I did, I thought.  I was wrong – there was plenty I could have done, but I didn’t know how to effectively go about it.  The great part about dealing with this while your kids are so young is that they can change their habits fairly quickly when they see that you mean business.

First of all, have a pleasant winding down bedtime routine.  For us this has almost always meant dinner, and then reading out loud together to everyone once they’re in pajamas.  The day is long and hectic, and they need time to emotionally transition to the slower pace of the nighttime.  It’s very hard to fall asleep when you feel revved up!  After reading, we usually sing Shema together, give hugs and kisses, and then they get in bed.  It sounds like this is the point where you’re having trouble.  You’re spent the time and energy getting them in bed and are pretty much emotionally finished, ready to have some quiet time to yourself.  So their tiny voices requesting a drink, the bathroom, the need to show you something, are far from appreciated right now!  Right?

Kids can sense parental ambivalence, and they can tell when you mean business.  They aren’t listening to you because you’re projecting ambivalence about what you really want.  You may think that if you’re screaming, you can’t possibly be ambivalent.  Right – that’s why they finally listen when you scream – it’s not the screaming but the clear message you’re giving that they’re responding to.  But think about this some more: what do you do before you start screaming?  Are you giving your kids a clear and unambiguous message right away when they start with the very first excuse to get out of bed?  Why not?  What’s going on in your head when the nighttime routine starts to unravel?  Kids crave clarity and boundaries, and you need to communicate what the boundaries for bedtime are with firmness, from a place of inner calm.    It seems to me that you’re taught your kids that until you yell, they can ignore what you say. 

If a child of mine wants a drink, I don’t mind if they get themselves water and get back into bed. But after that, that’s it.  If they ask to get out of bed, I say, “No, it’s time for sleeping now.  You can do xyz in the morning.”  If they ask again, it’s the broken record – I say the same thing in the same matter of fact, no nonsense voice.  Because they know I mean this, that usually ends it (though every so often we go through this again with the next child who needs to learn this lesson for himself, most recently ds3).  But they didn’t always know that I meant it.  What did I do to show them I meant what I said?

Important – whatever specific action you take, remember, you need to be firm but calm.   You shouldn’t be reacting to the situation, but responding.  There’s a big difference.  When we’re reacting, it’s coming from a place of irritation and anger.  A lot of times, our anger is actually coming from our frustration and feeling helpless about how to deal with a situation, and our thoughts about the situation, not from what the child is actually doing. So the first thing is to address what’s going on with you and respond from a place of inner calm.  I found it helpful to remember that I was doing it for the child’s benefit, that they needed to get a good night’s sleep, and I was acting from a place of love and kindness by helping them learn to stay in bed.  And it really helped me to feel calm once I felt I had a way to effectively handle the situation, rather than feeling like they were in control of the situation instead of me – that addressed the feeling of powerlessness that I was really bothered by. 

Here’s what worked for me.  I put them all in bed, and then sat outside their door with a book to read to myself so I wouldn’t get bored.  (For very little kids, you can even sit at the foot of their bed.  But don’t look at them, smile, or make conversation – unless you don’t mind them finding strategies to keep you interacting with them.)  They popped out of bed – surprise!  There I was.  I got up immediately, and without any anger or talking, matter of factly put them right back in bed.  If they protested (and you know they did!), I said calmly, “Now it’s time for bed.”  If they got up again – I was there right away before they hardly had time to climb out.  If they asked me something, I said, “No talking now, it’s bedtime.”  They got the message very quickly that there was no emotional or physical gain by repeatedly getting up or trying to get me to respond.  They didn’t get attention, positive or negative, and they didn’t get whatever physical things they might have wanted (like a snack).  In the daytime they got lots of attention and my receptive ear.  How long do you think young children will keep this up if they consistently are getting the same response?

(By the way, I did basically the same thing when my kids got older and I found that they were talking and talking and talking after they were in bed, and it was escalating to being loud and rowdy.)

So to recap: 1) intercept them immediately (ie, don’t wait for them to walk around five minutes before responding – I’ve found the immediacy is an important factor since it needs to be very clear to them what you’re responding to); 2) respond calmly and firmly.  And 3) repeat as necessary.  🙂

Good luck!

Avivah

Midwife was here

pregnancy

My midwife came by for a visit yesterday to see how things were going, and as always, we chatted for a while.  She asked me my thoughts on the ‘overdue’ situation, and I told her that I don’t believe in the concept of it being past the right time, assuming all physical signs are good.  The baby will be born when it’s ready, and that time hasn’t yet come.   I told her I know all the natural type things that could be done to ‘make’ it happen sooner, and wasn’t interested in any of them, that I’d like to wait for Hashem’s plan to unfold.  Though I’d like it if sooner rather than later was part of that plan, I’m truly okay with whenever it happens.  (My kids were talking today about how we were prepared for a Pesach baby, and then a Lag B’omer baby, but never did any of them think we’d be considering the possibility of a Shavuos baby! :))

I also raised my concern that although we’ve used the traditional way of figuring out due dates until now, it really isn’t accurate based on a cycle that is longer than 28 days (which mine was).   So she re-established my due date based on this information, and it’s officially now May 14, which means I’m just four days beyond it, instead of 2.5 weeks.  I laughed and told her it didn’t make a bit of difference to me if it was the 2nd or the 14th, it’s just a technical difference that practically speaking doesn’t matter a bit!  It will reassure other people, though.  People seem to think that there’s some terrible danger that awaits anyone still pregnant a day beyond 42 weeks.

I’m very fortunate to have a midwife who also trusts the body and birth process, and works to follow a mother’s feelings about this.  She listened to the heartbeat, checking for variations, and it was good – she was able to do this by listening with a fetoscope, no need for electronic monitoring or even a hand held Doppler.  (If you ran up the stairs, your heart would beat faster.  The same thing with a baby – after it moves around, it’s heart rate should go up.)  Then she externally palpated the uterus, and assessed that the volume of amniotic fluid was fine.  This is basically what is checked with a non stress test, but in a more pleasant way.

So while hopefully none of you are feeling alarmed that I keep posting here every day, and still with no news of a baby, there’s the latest update!

Avivah

Quick and inexpensive shoe repair

frugal strategies

Over the years, I’ve noticed two areas that are the first to go on my kids’ shoes: 1) the heel; and 2) the sole begins to separate from the top.

As far as the heel getting run down, I don’t have any inexpensive solutions – getting taps put on can cost more than you’d pay for a pair of used shoes, though it’s worth it if you’ve bought an expensive pair of shoes at top dollar.  (But I only buy good quality shoes at low dollar, lol!)  So my choice is when the heels are run down, I retire the shoes to the circular file.  But today I fixed my dd8’s Shabbos shoe that had a separating sole, and thought I’d share my very easy solution!

The answer is Shoe Goo. Shoe Goo is a transparent glue that you can buy for just a few dollars in the shoe department of your local Walmart.  It can glue leather, rubber, vinyl, and canvas.  You can use it to seal your boots, reattach a broken heel, and to reseal the sole and upper when they begin to come apart.  You just spread a little glue on the area that needs repair, and hold it closed for a few minutes until it holds the seal.

Since I’ve often found that the shoes can begin to separate when they are otherwise in excellent condition, this has been very valuable in extending the life of shoes around here.  It takes just a small amount of Shoe Goo to fix a shoe, and a tube contains over 3.5 oz and can last for a lot of shoes.  I’ve also found it useful for sneakers, to reattach the rubber tip at the top that begins to detach – that’s not a problem that affects the functionality, but fixing it keeps sneakers looking new longer.

Avivah

Get involved in your child’s interests

parenting

My ds15 and ds10 are both good baseball players – very good.  And for years, I attended every game, sitting in the field with all of the other kids for hours every Sunday while first the younger one played in his league, and then the older one played in his league. But then my husband’s work schedule shifted and he needed to take our only vehicle to work on Sundays, so last year I wasn’t able to attend most of the games.

Fortunately, only my ds10 (then 9) was playing last year; my oldest son had aged out of his league and was coaching his brother’s team, and they went together to the games.  This year, they are again both playing baseball, but now in two separately administered leagues which means two different locations.  I’m so grateful to my in-laws for taking ds15 to his games, and my mom for taking ds9 to his games, because otherwise they’d really miss out. 

As much as I appreciate that they get to their games without my involvement being necessary, I’ve kind of missed being actively involved in supporting them with my presence.  They come home and tell me about how the games were, but it’s not the same as you being there to see it for yourself.  Several times this season I’ve planned to go to their mid week games, and they’ve been rained out every time.  But on Friday I finally got my chance.

Friday isn’t a day that they usually have a game, but this was the All Star game for ds15.  What that means is all six teams in the league send their 4 best players to play a game together. They determine who to send by having all of the players on each team vote.  Ds was one of those voted in for his team, and since this is an extra game, they needed to schedule it at a time the field was available – 5 pm on Friday afternoon (they ended at 7 to accomodate those who were shomer Shabbos).

Now you might think this wasn’t the most convenient time – and it wasn’t – but I was really glad I’d finally be able to be there!  Not only was I able to go, but I took most of the other kids (dh took ds6 and 10 swimming), too.  I enjoyed being able to watch him in person, and share in his sense of achievement and pleasure in the game.   I was able to watch him pitch during a high pressure situation and feel totally relaxed and confident in him, even as some of his pitches weren’t landing where he wanted them.  While he was playing, I was able to appreciate not only the pressure he was under, but how well he handled the pressure, something I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t been there.  When I saw him at bat, I saw for myself why he was considered the best hitter in the league.  And as I was watching, I kept thinking about this is why it’s so important it is to be involved with something your child cares about, and how grateful I was that I could be there for my ds. 

He knew why the legitimate reasons I hadn’t been able to come until now and didn’t have any complaints about it.  But when I told him I’d be coming to this game, it meant alot to him – he didn’t expect me to allow him to play late on erev Shabbos, let alone come along myself.  He knew it wasn’t convenient for me, and I was able to show him, without saying a word about it, that sharing in something important to him was important to me, too.  

You know, we all do things for our kids every day, but when kids assume something is a given in their lives, it’s not much of a deposit in the relationship bank for them.  They expect to be fed, for example, so giving them dinner every night isn’t a big deal for them emotionally, though it would be for a child who was neglected and not fed regular meals.  It’s generally when you do something that they feel is extra that you have the chance to show how much you care, and this was a significant deposit for ds.  When I told my son how much I enjoyed watching him play, he earnestly thanked me for coming and told me how much he appreciated that I was there. 

When your children have a passion or interest, follow up on it.  And though you need to give them space for it to be ‘theirs’ (not like one of those parents who cares more than the child does about the activity), be actively interested and show that you care.  No matter how old they are and how independent they may seem, our interest in them shows them that we love them. 

Avivah

Weekly menu plan

menu plans

I haven’t posted my menu plans for the last couple of weeks – I got out of the rhythm because of Pesach, but I’ll try to get back to it.

Sunday – brunch – french toast; dinner – baked acorn squash stuffed with brown rice pilaf, marinated tomato salad, pepper salad.  Ds15 and ds10 have baseball games on Sunday afternoons, so we have a late brunch and then dinner as soon as they come home to accomodate their schedule so they can eat with us. (Plus several kids end up going to watch their brothers, so hardly anyone would be home to eat if I served lunch, anyway!)

Monday – breakfast – cranberry scones (I’m thinking of serving this with sour cream and blueberries or cherries that we canned last summer); lunch – stuffed baked potatoes (stuffings: beans, shredded cheese, vegetables); dinner – corn chowder

Tuesday – b – hashbrown bake; l – omelettes; d – honey baked lentils, millet

Wednesday – b – Amish oatmeal; l – colcannon (cabbage, potatoes, milk); d – sloppy joes over whole grain bread

Thursday – b – Dutch puffs; l – rice and cheese burritoes; d – CORN (clean out refrigerator night)

Remember when you read the menus that fruit and milk are included for breakfasts, and salads/vegetables are included for lunch and dinners.   A couple of weeks ago I prepared a bunch of fermented vegetable relishes – 4 quarts of ginger carrots and 2 quarts of tomato pepper relish – which we serve in small amounts at meals.  If you don’t already know about fermented veggies, they’re great for the digestion.  I also add some of the leftovers from one meal for the lunch and dinner following to whatever is planned.  This keeps me from having a fridge full of leftovers at the end of the week and also adds more variety to the meal than is written above.

Today my food prep for the week will include soaking all beans and lentils for the week, so they’ll have time to sprout before I cook them.  Sprouting maximizes the nutritional value of legumes and makes them more digestible.  I also want to shred a bunch of potatoes for the hashbrown bake – if I try to do something like that in the morning, breakfast would be served at lunch time!  I’m also thinking of shredding other potatoes and putting them in the freezer, to make my own instant hashbrowns – you know, the way you can buy shredded frozen potatoes at the store.  That would be convenient, don’t you think?  Most of the breakfast prep takes place the night before – that consists mainly of overnight soaking of flour for baked goods, and if the next morning a baked dish is planned, combining everything in the pan so in the morning all someone has to do is turn on the oven and put it in.

Avivah

Getting things done…

homemaking, homeschooling,

A couple of weeks ago my dd14 told me that she needs more shirts, and finally yesterday I took her and my dd12 out to remedy that.  While I was out, I also picked up some things for the boys ages 10 and down, and some neutral newborn clothes (suprisingly, I just realized a few days ago I have hardly anything- I lent one person all my newborn girls’ clothes 20 months ago, but she said she can’t remember which are mine and was planning to sell everything at a yard sale, and I lent someone else all my newborn boy clothes, and she returned all the bottoms but none of the tops) but my focus was on dd12 and dd14.  It was nice to be able to get them things they’re happy with – neither of them are picky, but both have their own sense of what they like so I no longer like buying things without them being there.  And since exactly a week ago ds15 and ds14 decided that they’d like to go to sleep away camp again this summer, it gives me peace of mind to know that most necessary camp shopping is taken care of for dd.  Even though dd will be going at the end of June, I won’t have to rush around between now and then with a newborn, getting things done with her.  Amazingly, though they made their decision on Friday morning, I was so glad I was able to have all the camp paperwork completed and in the mail by Monday afternoon – including completed medical forms, which necessitated visits to the doctor first thing Monday. I prefer to get things done right away than to let them hang over my head. 

Today my ds15 went to speak to a prosthetist to learn more about what is involved in it as a possible profession.  He spent about an hour with him, asking questions and being shown the lab, equipment, etc.  I think I’m going to encourage my ds15 to do more of this – to actively seek out people and find out first hand what’s involved in training for a career, salaries, advancement opportunities, etc.  The next person I want him to speak with is an accountant.  I’d like to get him started this coming school year working towards his career path as far as college credits, so he needs to get some idea of what he wants to do to focus his energy appropriately.

Then I took my ds10 to a friend to spend Shabbos, and headed on to do some shopping.  The first fresh corn of the season is now out, and we love having it raw for Shabbos lunch – it’s yummy and refreshing.  While I was there, I found whole turkeys for 1.99 a pound, so I bought a few.  If we have a boy, we’ll have enough to serve for the seuda!  And if we have a girl, we’ll have turkey for Shabbos all month long. 🙂  It’s funny to have found them today – this supermarket advertised them at this price before Pesach, but both times I went the shipment hadn’t arrived.  I think the shipment and people’s Pesach needs must not have coincided, and that’s why they have so much still at the sale price – it’s not being advertised, though.  (At Superfresh, for those of you in my area who want to take advantage of the good price. :))

I also did some preparatory shopping for after birth while I was there – buying foods that are good for simplified meals.  Basically today that meant cottage cheese, plain yogurt, brown rice (we were almost out of it), and some corn tortillas.  I forgot to mention this when I wrote about preparing for the postpartum period – you can and should stock up on easy to serve foods, even if it means spending a little more than usual on food that month (though I hope to stay within my usual parameters).  I usually buy yogurt and cottage cheese, but wouldn’t normally pay the prices I paid today.   I couldn’t find much else that I would want to buy – I looked at the premade pizza shells for about 2 seconds but the price is so outrageous that I just can’t justify it.  Especially since it only takes a few minutes to mix up some pizza dough. 

I was outside when a neighbor came home from work, and she told me she and another neighbor were sure I must have had the baby and were keeping it quiet.  They thought that because neither of them realized I was pregnant until six weeks ago, and one of them had been to our house for a Shabbos meal just a couple of weeks before that.  (And today the neighbor who lives closest to me, whose little boys play with mine a few times a week, was there when the other neighbor asked my dd if we had a baby yet, and said, shocked, “You mean she’s pregnant?!?”  She just hasn’t seen me close up enough or it would have been obvious.)   I reassured her that I wasn’t trying to keep being pregnant a secret, and that my kids will be spreading the word as fast as they can once there’s news to share, so she doesn’t have to worry about it flying under the radar.  Actually, I think I’ll buy a balloon to put on my front steps that says ‘it’s a __’ so that anyone who goes by will know.  🙂 

I hope everyone has a wonderful Shabbos!

Avivah

Overdue and not worried

pregnancy

Actually, I think the title of my post isn’t accurate.  Officially (even according to the medically conservative ACOG), you have to be 42 weeks to be considered overdue, and it will be a couple more days until I’m at that point.  Maybe it would be more accurate to say I’m not overdue and there’s nothing to be worried about!  (It’s not irrelevant to mention that the way we estimate due dates is problematic for many women and their cycles, and therefore very often not accurate.  See this site for more information on a more accurate way to determine your due date – http://transitionsdoula.com/pregnancy/ddcalc)  But it’s amazing how just because we are given an estimated due date that we mentally expect a baby to be born by then and start worrying when it hasn’t!

I explained it to my kids, who are losing hope that this baby will ever be born, like this.  When you have an apple tree, there are some apples that ripen early, most of them ripen around the same time, and some ripen after all the others have fallen off.  Babies are like that, too.  Each one has his own growing pattern.  Some start growing later than others, and some grow faster or slower than others. That’s how it is after they’re born, and all of us know that babies have different growth rates.  Somehow we forget that it’s the same way before they’re born.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where medical induction is so common that we don’t get to see or hear from many people who have gone past 42 weeks.  But it didn’t used to be rare for women to have babies at 43 or even 44 weeks – I even read online about someone who was positive about her dates and gave birth at 46 weeks!  Some of those babies were very big, but others were supposedly late and small, with signs of being early.  Too many babies have been induced or born by cesarean because the care provider was convinced they needed to be born because of the dates themselves, ultrasound estimates of size, etc, only to find that the baby wasn’t as big, or as late, or as ready to be born as expected. (I was once with a first time mother who was pressured into a cesarean because of her extremely big baby, according to the ultrasound.  They told her he was too big to safely be born vaginally.  After the cesarean, the supposedly huge baby the baby was 7.5 pounds, covered in lots of vernix and clearly born before he was ready.  I heard the nurses talking about what an embarrassment it was that the surgery was done unnecessarily, though they promptly stopped discussing it when they saw me close to the nurses station.)

We get fearful that something is wrong when our experience is even slightly outside of the norm because it’s unfamiliar territory, and because the message in the society around us is that different = wrong.  Being past your estimated due date doesn’t mean something has gone wrong, or that something bad is going to happen to you or your baby.  It just means that your baby is growing on its own time table.

It’s hard to be constantly asked about if you’ve had the baby yet, every single day for weeks by every person you meet.  It’s hard to go to sleep every night wondering if tonight will be the night you’ll go into labor and then wake up the next morning still pregnant.  It’s hard to not make plans every night for the next day, because you don’t know if you’ll be able to keep your commitments.  What I personally think is the hardest thing, is hearing other people’s concerns and assumptions that something is wrong (“when are you going to be induced?” – and even natural minded friends suggesting natural induction methods) and staying emotionally disconnected from their message of fear/ distrust of the body and birth process but not from them.

For me I have a subtle sense of irony about still being pregnant.  I wasn’t mentally prepared for this scenario, since my concern was really about avoiding being early!   This is new territory for me, after eight children!  But I really believe in the ability of the body to do what it’s created to do in a healthy way.  And I strongly feel that Hashem (G-d) is giving me a special opportunity during this unexpected space and it’s up to me to use it well.  These last twelve days have been a chance for me to consciously release my ideas and expectations, and be truly open to what He has planned.  Last night as I was lying in bed, I was listening to a musical relaxation cd and thinking continuously of  the following words almost as mantras:  Trust.  Accept.  Release. These were words I thought of because they represented concepts that resonated with me.  To me they meant:  Trust – that Hashem is taking care of everything, and it’s all as it’s supposed to be. Accept – what is and not what you think that should be.  Release – your fears, concerns, and expectations.  These aren’t specific to birth, but to all areas of life.

I also feel this time space helped my kids become more balanced with the idea of a new baby, instead of the hyper excitement we were experiencing before.  And though they were strongly favoring a baby of one particular gender before, at this point they’ll be so happy with any baby that I don’t think they’ll be disappointed if it’s not what they were initially hoping for.  My husband commented it’s helped him get into a good head space for another baby, whereas a couple of weeks ago things were so busy that he almost didn’t have time to think about it.  It’s giving me lots of snuggling time with different kids, to ‘shore up’ the relationship while things are quiet, before life gets busy and I may not be able to do as much of that as I’d like.  And today I even cleaned the refrigerator!  🙂

Seriously, I’ve been able to release concerns regarding having this baby that were very subtle, but somewhere there in my subconscious nonetheless. I don’t know what I did to let go of them, but I feel differently inside, and know that they’ve lost their power.  (Yes, I know I sound very crunchy and airy fairy, but that’s how I feel.)  Most of all, I’ve been using this time to consciously try and connect with G-d.  I can’t really accurately express the feeling I have inside of being more settled and grounded, more at peace both emotionally and spiritually.

So that’s why as of now, I have no plans to use even natural induction techniques.  I’m not taking homeopathic caullophyllum, castor oil, stimulating pressure points, drinking infusions of raspberry leaf tea, having accupuncture done, or even trying to tell my body to get labor going right now.  Just like we’re going to enjoy the surprise of it’s a boy or girl, we’re going to enjoy the surprise of when our baby is born!

Avivah

Buying more canning jars

canning, food preservation, frugal strategies

I haven’t bought any canning jars since last year, but I keep my eyes open on a regular basis in case I can expand my collection at a reasonable price.  Though I didn’t use all the jars I already have this year, I attribute that to it being my first year canning.  Over time, I think I’ll use more and more of them. 

But since October or November, used canning jars are getting snapped up very fast (I’ve read that new jars are also selling at a much higher volume than in the past).  This is interesting since the winter is the time of year that no one is usually buying jars – the summer is prime time canning season.  It’s markedly different than what I saw in the summer months immediately prior.  It’s amazing to me how fast the public has decided that something they once never paid attention to is now worth buying.  The interest in canning is intrinsically tied to the financial insecurity that people are feeling now, just like the huge increases in purchases of vegetable seeds.

Now on one hand, I think it’s great that people are getting interested in back to basics type skills like canning.  On the other hand, it means that suddenly used canning jars are commanding top dollar prices and finding a good deal is much harder.  A month or so ago, someone posted a large lot of used jars, and said she’d take the best offer.  I emailed her my offer, and explained what it was based on.  It was a reasonable offer, at a price that has been accepted every single time in the past.  She emailed me back to say that she had received a bunch of responses, that my offer was right in the middle, and someone was coming to buy the lot, which I had offered $60 for, for $150.  This floored me – in my opinion, no one in their right mind would pay such a high price for used jars that didn’t even have lids or rings, because it was significantly more expensive than buying brand new jars that had the lids and rings included.  (The additional purchase of a set of lids and rings at about $3 per dozen would be necessary for the buyer to have what he needed for canning.)

That indicated to me totally irrational buying – it’s obvious that the people buying now are those who don’t know the value of what they’re buying.  They just see canning jars and feel they need to get them because somehow that’s going to protect them from the bad stuff coming down the economic pike.  So that doesn’t leave much room to negotiate with sellers!

Last night I saw an offer for jars, and though it’s higher than what I’ve paid in the past, I felt it was in the realm of reasonable, unlike a lot of ads I’ve been seeing (like $22 for a dozen quart jars from a private seller – which you can buy for under $8 at Walmart).  Turns out I was the first person to respond, but the seller told me that after my response last night, there were three more responses, and then another three as soon as she opened her inbox this morning.  She said she didn’t think anyone would be interested – they were her mother’s jars, and she’d tried offering them to family members for free, but no one wanted them.  She was taken aback at how many responses she received in such a short amount of time. 

Anyway, I took four kids with me to pick up the jars – it was a nice 40 minute drive there, but they asked if they could come, and I was happy to bring them along.  (It was ds10, dd8, ds6, and ds3.)  She gave me the code for the electronic gate, and when we entered it, I was initially discouraged because it seemed to be a mini community of several homes, and none of them had addresses – there was only one address on the outside gate.  Turns out it was all one private property, and what looked like two homes was actually one huge home, in addition to one home for their parents who had recently moved away (hence her selling the jars), and the other was their garage.  At first we couldn’t find her, just the jars she had left in the driveway as she said she would (though she didn’t tell me there were several driveways, all independent of one another – the jars weren’t in the main home’s driveway and I had to drive around until we found them).  After we got the jars, we circled back around to the main house so we could pay her, and found her the second try.  She told me she found another dozen jars for me, and while my ds was putting them in the van, I was shmoozing with her and my other kids all got out of the van to play with her dogs (they loved dogs but as much as they’d like one, it’s not going to happen for us at this point in life).  She said she used to help her mother can tomatoes and green beans from their small but prolific garden in Brooklyn Park, and how the kids hated picking berries for jam because it took so many berries to make a small amount of jam. 

After talking for a while, she commented on how good the kids were, and offered to let them go onto her private dock behind the house and hang out there.  (Good behavior is it’s own reward! :))  You’d never know there was any water anywhere near there – the entire property was very expansive but also very private – but there was actually a private lake behind their home.  Then she mentioned that there was a large trampoline on the way down the path to the dock, and the kids might feel like they wanted to jump on it when they went by – so they should feel free to jump all they wanted!  She had to leave soon afterwards, but even though it meant leaving us there alone on her property, told us to feel free to stay there as long as the kids were enjoying themselves. 

It was so generous of her, and we had a lovely time on their beautiful property.  I was so glad that every one of them came along – it would have been a shame if they had missed the special outing it turned out to be.  The kids had a great time on her trampoline and on the dock, and enjoyed looking at their motor boat, canoe, rowboat, and kayaks, along with going on different parts of the dock (they particularly liked the floating dock). It was fun for them to be able to explore a different kind of place than we’d usually have access to.  The private lake didn’t have any entrance for public access, and the home itself was kind of hidden away, with the only access through their private gated entrance.   It was so relaxing on the dock, though less than it would have been if the kids weren’t there – I was pretty vigilant about watching them all every single minute – but there’s something about water that is so calming and peaceful. 

When we got home my ds10 organized all the jars, and it turns out that instead of 7 dozen for $30, we got 11 dozen for $30 (5 dozen quarts, 5 dozen pints, 1 dozen half pints)!  Which means that it ended up not only being a really nice outing with the kids, but a super deal, too!  And something I like about used jars is the sense of history that comes with them, as many jars were made by companies which no longer exist, in colors and sizes that aren’t made any more.  It just goes to show that even in a hot market, if H-shem wants you to have something, there are bargains to be had, unexpected though they may be. 🙂

Avivah

Link for homeschooling conference schedule

homeschooling,

I just set up a new site that has the basic information regarding the Torah Homeschooling Conference.  If you’re interested in viewing the scheduled presentations, look on the top right side of the screen where it says ‘Conference Schedule’.  There is a contact email there for further questions or regarding payment.  http://jewishhomeschooling.wordpress.com/

I’ll add specific details as they arise.

Avivah