Monthly Archives: March 2012

Developing an attitude of gratitude

homemaking, miscellaneous, parenting

Today I was home with eight sick kids.  Yesterday there were seven, and the day before I started off with only four!  A couple hours into that morning I had to go pick up dd17 from school because she was sick, too, and the rules are that they couldn’t let her go home herself, so we had five sick kids home by noon. 🙂

It’s actually been a nice period – I’m not glad everyone is sick, but it’s nice to have everyone home at once.  My living room is filled with kids lined up on blankets on the floor (their choice – they seem to be enjoying the chance to camp out together) and on all the couches – our homestyle infirmary!  But after a couple of people responded to me mentioning having eight sick kids home today, I was thinking about how easily it could be turned around to be something to grumble about.  It reminds me of a kids’ book we used to have – there was a dual storyline; on the top of the page was the positive interpretation, and on the bottom of the page was the negative interpretation of the same event.  And that’s really how life is, very open to our interpretation of things.

Many years ago I started keeping a gratitude notebook.  I didn’t do this consistently – it’s been on and off since I was about 18 or 19.  Since moving here, I’ve gotten out the habit of writing a gratitude list every night before bed, just because I didn’t think to keep a notebook next to my bed when we moved (got to do that now that I’m consciously thinking about it!).

But even so, I’ve still tried to make mental gratitude lists, and often will write things down when I have a scrap of paper in front of me.  Tonight I was writing some things in my planner at the end of today, since I had empty space in today’s date, and decided to share some of them with you.  Don’t think I have a perfect life and nothing to focus on but the positive – I have challenges just like everyone, but it  helps me keep my spirits up when I focus on the many blessings I experience every day.

As you’ll see in my list below, I don’t write about the big things – being able to walk, talk, see, breathe – which are in and of themselves so huge and amazing that if we really thought about the significance of them, we’d never find anything to complain about.  I write about the smaller mundane things.  We all have lots of these, but sometimes we have to attune our eyes to seeing the blessings around us all the time.

  • no missiles fell in northern Israel today (they’ve been raining down in the south these last few days from terrorists) and we don’t have to live with the fear that we have thirty seconds to get to safety
  • kids are all sick but are sleeping a lot and with the exception of one, not complaining much
  • was able to salvage most of the carrots that were beginning to get soft due to heat
  • ate three healthy and nutritious meals today
  • dh took stroller down the stairs of our building for me when I went to the park with the littles so I wouldn’t have to carry it
  • took the littles to the park and enjoyed the wonderful feeling of sun shining on us
  • a neighbor smiled at me on my way into the building
  • my mother brought another kilogram of powdered vitamin C when she visited six weeks ago, and I got a few bottles of grape juice on sale last week – just in time to have on hand for this bout of sickness
  •  had plenty of toilet paper for the kids to blow their nose on (we’ve used about twenty plus rolls in the last few days)
  • my arms and legs were feeling very weak and achy this morning, and I was afraid I was coming down with what the kids have – but pushed myself to do a fifteen minute workout since I mentally committed to it last night – and when I finished, all the achiness was gone (the benefit of pumping my lymph system?)
  • got all the laundry washed – no dirty clothes left anywhere in the house!
  • washed all the dishes and enjoyed seeing an empty sink for a little while
  • the clothes dry quickly in warm weather like this
  • got call to remind me about parenting class (I had mentally mixed up the day it was held with another class) and thanks to this didn’t miss tonight’s class
  • parenting instructor voluntarily made a call for me to school advisor of one of kids’ after hearing difficulty I was having reaching him
  • instructor understood significance of idea I shared despite my concern that in Hebrew I couldn’t express the depth properly
  • after two weeks of work, dh’s employer told him he wants to give him a raise (he was told when hired that it would be four months before it would be considered)
  • had a refreshing afternoon nap
  • someone gifted us with four school sweatshirts at our front door (don’t know who but we appreciate it!)
  • got a ride home from the parenting class to right in front of my building
  • someone saved me some food from dinner and I didn’t have to prepare something to eat when I got home
  • dh went out to buy more toilet paper and diapers without me mentioning it and saved me the trip
  • diapers happened to be on sale just when we needed them
  • we’re centrally located and don’t need a car; a walk to the store is just five minutes
  • borrowed two English books that I’ll enjoy reading with the kids
  • littles were still up when I got back so I could tell them goodnight
  • once they went to sleep, enjoyed listening to a Torah lecture with dd15
  • took the clothes that had dried in before it started raining

There are a lot more things I could write about, but you get the point!  I try to write or think of at least ten things a day, which isn’t hard once you get used to looking for them.  However, that can be intimidating in the beginning.  I heard the suggestion at a lecture to try to stop once a day and just think of two things to be grateful for, and this alone can help shift your perception dramatically.

Focusing on noticing all that I have has been huge for me in helping me become a more positive person.  I’ve also increasingly come to believe that we draw more miracles and blessings into our life when we notice all that are already present.  So if you want more good things to come into your life, start noticing all that’s already there!

Avivah

Blogging and protecting my family’s privacy

miscellaneous

>>I’ve been wondering for a while: how does your family feel about being the subject of a widely-read blog (even given all the privacy measures you do of course take)? Are they used to it or does it impact them?<<

This is a good question!

Years ago, I was the mother of four young children (oldest was almost 7) and happened to speak with a mother of three young children (oldest was 4) at the park.  She was feeling totally overwhelmed, and told me that it seemed everyone was managing so well except for her.  I shared with her when I had felt the same way, and how I learned that you should never think you really know what goes on behind the closed door of someone’s house.  We can all pull it together and look good for a while, but we all get tense and stressed sometimes, and then shared with her some specifics.

To me this was just a short conversation in the park and I’ve probably had many dozens of conversations like this now, years later.  But this remained with me because it was the first time I realized that by being honest about who we are, we can really help and encourage someone else.  Too often we get caught up in wanting to look a certain way and give a certain impression, and that’s not bad, but sometimes it means people are judging themselves against an unreal picture of how others live.  This person later wrote something to me about how much I changed her life and she’ll never forget me.  For what?  For a ten minute conversation telling her that we all share the same struggles, and how we get through the tough times?

Everyone has their unique mission in this world, and I can’t say with certainty that I’ve discovered what mine is.  But for now I feel that part of it is encouraging others by being a real person rather than some abstract example of perfection somewhere on the web.  The question you asked about is a very real one and one that I constantly weigh, how I can share somewhat openly while still honoring my family’s privacy.

As my blog has grown and my children have gotten older, I’ve shifted my position on this – when  my readership was very small, I shared more openly about a lot of things.  I now constantly hold back on things that I really want to write about, or refrain from using personal examples with my own family that illustrate a point, because of my desire to keep my family out of the public eye.

My family members don’t read my blog, but there are times that I mentioned writing something or wanting to write something that they told me made them uncomfortable, so I edited the post or didn’t post at all.  I ask their opinions often before responding to questions people ask or try to write with them in mind, asking myself what they would say if they were reading it – would they think I’m representing something honestly, telling too much about them, etc.   This means that I generally mention them in peripheral ways or mention them doing something, rather than discussing more internal or personal issues.

How much does my having a blog directly affect them?  They’ve been with me on several occasions when someone met me in person for the first time and shared with a lot of excitement about how much I wrote helped her, so hopefully that was positive for them.  Otherwise, I can’t say that it’s really been a factor in their lives at all – it would be amazing if one day I can tell you they met their prospective spouses through my blog readers or something big like that – but I hope that if at some time it does affect them, that it will be positive or at least neutral.

If you have a blog or write in a public forum, what steps do you take to protect your family’s privacy, and why?  Where do you draw the line in writing publicly about your experiences?  Have you read things on my blog that made you uncomfortable because it was too personal?

Avivah

Tomato Onion Salad

recipes

On Purim we send freshly baked homemade rolls along with a container of tomato onion salad.  The feedback I’ve gotten so far is that people really appreciated receiving real food and the things we sent got eaten early in the day.

I’ve received a couple of recipe requests for the salad I sent, so I’m sharing it here with you.  It’s quick and flexible, and stays nicely in the fridge for a few days since it’s marinated.  It can be made up in advance or just a few hours before serving.  (It’s also one of the salads we served for the bar mitzva.)

Tomato Onion Salad

  • 3 – 4 large ripe tomatoes, thinly sliced (if using large tomatoes, cut the slices in half so they aren’t too unwieldy to eat)
  • 1 onion (about a 1/2 cup),  sliced thinly (I used purple onion but any onion works fine)
  • 1/4 c. extra virgin olive oil
  • 1/4 c. vinegar
  • 1/8 t. pepper
  • 1 T. dried oregano or basil (if fresh herbs are in season, use 3 T. of chopped herbs instead)
  • 1/2 c. sliced black olives

The key to this salad tasting good is to be sure the onions are well marinated, unless you like some sharpness (which I don’t).  Put the sliced onions in the food container, then mix the marinade and olives, pour over the onions, and mix it thoroughly.  I find it’s best to do this about twelve  hours before you want to serve it, but there’s really no hard and fast rule.

Then add the sliced tomatoes on top of the marinating onions.  Mix it all together before serving.  If it’s easier, you can mix everything when you make it and it will still turn out great.  Just don’t add the onions last on top of everything, because they won’t absorb the marinade!

Avivah

Preparing for our first Purim in Israel

aliyah, miscellaneous

Yesterday I really felt such a strong sense of Purim literally being in the air in the way that is unique to Israel!

The kids all had Purim fairs/parties at school, and dressed in costume before they left.  (I wasn’t sure how this was all going to come together, but the night before the three girls all figured out how to use what they had and came up with great costumes, and I found a way to make suitable headgear for ds9, Moshe (Moses) the shepherd.)

The middle kids and up all had to prepare individual mishloach manos for a classmate – I would have welcomed some advance notice on this because I don’t love having to take care of things like this at the last minute.  But we got a notice that afternoon that they needed to bring something the next day, so dd15 went to the mall with dd11 and ds9, and got stuff for them.  Very nice for me to have older kids and for the middles, very nice to have older siblings! They came home and said the place was hopping with all of their classmates, almost none of whom they ever see there; everyone else was out shopping for the same thing!

When the kids came home the next day from their parties, they were all holding  the mishloach manos they had received, party treats, etc and shared about all the fun Purim activities they had that day.  When I looked outside I saw the sidewalks filled with children of all ages in costume, music was blaring nearby as part of a pre-Purim carnival (dd15 went with a couple of younger siblings to check it out but unfortunately returned quickly when she saw it wasn’t exactly appropriate), the sun was shining and the sky was that gorgeous Mediteranean blue, the buses were backed up in traffic to let all of the kids celebrating go by….just beautiful!

I hoped to go shopping for supplies for our mishloach manos that afternoon (Tuesday), but by the time 4 pm arrived, decided I’d be facing the crowds and I’d be better off doing it the next morning when I had more energy.  Today all the kids except ds13 were off of school (though he stayed home because he wasn’t feeling well), so dd15 and dd11 accompanied me on my errands.  That’s something that used to happen all the time but this was the first time since we moved that they both came with me; it was actually dd11’s first time going shopping with me at all!

I was pleasantly surprised to see that none of the stores were packed – maybe it was just the last minute people like me who were shopping this morning?  Or maybe I got lucky and happened to hit a lull in the shopping?  Whatever it was, I was grateful since it made the experience much more pleasant.

I had a plan for what I wanted to send for mishloach manos (challah rolls and tomato dip), but then couldn’t find containers for the dip, so I had to readjust on the spot when all I found was bigger containers – so I’ll send a salad instead.  You can only work with what you have!

Dh took ds2 and ds4 to shul for the megillah (Book of Esther) reading tonight, while I stayed home with ds5 who was sick and listened to a Torah lecture online about Purim.  I listened to a different lecture last night, and yet another one a couple of weeks ago at our monthly women’s gathering.  I find listening to lectures a helpful tool to go into the holiday feeling spiritually prepared – I really encourage everyone to take time to get some insight on the deeper meaning of the day since it’s too easy to get caught up in the extreme busyness and physicality of Purim.  I toyed with the idea of posting some thoughts that I found inspiring but unfortunately I won’t have time to write it up in time for anyone to benefit on Purim itself!  Meanwhile, the other kids when to a different  reading.  Then while I went to a later megillah reading, dd15 made a big batch of challah dough and dd17 made yet another batch of hamantaschen.

It’s almost midnight now but we’re waiting for the challah rolls to finish baking before going to sleep.  Ds13, dd11, and dd15 are all staying up as well, so I have lots of good company!

Avivah

Online Mesila lecture – advice for family budgeting

frugal strategies

About a year and a half ago, I contacted the community organization Mesila, to discuss the possibility of volunteering with them.  I had a great conversation with the head of the program,a program that is geared towards helping people get out of debt and learn to live within their means.  We were both very positive about my intended involvement – but their training for volunteer counselors was delayed.  And by the time they contacted me to ask me to actively get involved, I had to tell them that I was busy with my plans to move to Israel and just couldn’t do it.

Recently Mesila sponsored a community-wide lecture in Baltimore, in which three prominent rabbis of the community spoke.  I began watching this with ds13, but for some reason my computer stalled after the first rabbi, Rabbi Hopfer (who is a jewel of a person), spoke.  I found his message so encouraging and validating – it was great to hear him telling the community how against the Torah way of life debt is, that having limits and learning to live within your means are actually positive values…You might say this is logical and obvious, but we live in times that are so focused on everyone having as much materially as they can, even if they don’t have the money for it, and sometimes the obvious isn’t so obvious.

I plan to try to listen to the rest of it another time, but like what I read about the rest of the evening.  I especially appreciated that Rabbi Hauer recommended the book The Millionaire Next Door, a book that I’ve read several times and found to be helpful because it gives you a sense of how people really get rich – and it’s not by trying to look like they have more than they do!  I found this book helpful for myself as a frugal person, because it encouraged me that I was on the right path and affirmed for me that living rich is being frugal.

Since I saw that the gist of the comments of the evening were written up, in addition to the online posting of the video of the event, I wanted to link it for others who might be interested. Here it is.

If you watched this presentation or read through the basic overview, I’d love to hear your feedback!  What did you find to be the most important messages?  What did you agree or disagree with most?  

Avivah

Why are simple weddings such a hard sell?

frugal strategies

Several weeks I was at a social event, where I saw someone who recently made a wedding for her oldest child.  I had heard via my husband via her husband that they had kept it small, so I took the opportunity to ask what having a small wedding entailed.  (Hearing from people who have made simple and truly affordable weddings about how they did it is very interesting to me.)

She told me that they only invited 120 people, which I thought was impressive since it’s not easy to whittle down a guest list to that amount.  But then she added, “And the other side had 300 guests”, which shifted my perception of the wedding somewhat – 420 guests for a formal dinner didn’t seem very small to me!

A couple of the other women there who were listening to this exchange were quick to fill me in, apparently thinking how obviously clueless I was to what was normal and appropriate.  They told me that a small wedding is 300 – 400 people for the meal, and one told me her cousin recently had 2500 guests!  (I had to ask how much that wedding cost – 4 million shekels, she said.  But at least it was a wealthy family that could afford it.)

I shared my concern that lavish weddings have become the norm in the Orthodox world, so much that we don’t even see the lavishness of the standard wedding as unusual.  We’ve lost a communal sense of what simplicity looks like when it comes to a wedding, and we also seem to be communally oblivious to the fat that paying for these fancy weddings is way above the means of the average family.

I thought that was a reasonable thing to say, but don’t worry, there were people there to once again set me straight.  “What do you mean?  Just the extended family from one side will be 200 people!”  I suggested, maybe we need to consider inviting people according to the budget we have to work with, and that might mean reconsidering if every single family member has to be invited to the wedding meal.  Maybe if it were normal to just invite the immediate nuclear family, rather than every cousin, aunt, uncle, and person who married in somewhere along the line, then it wouldn’t be considered so unthinkable to not invite all these people.  Shouldn’t we be thinking about how to make a wedding within our actual ability to pay for it?

One woman shrugged and said, “So what, so you borrow the  money and pay back 1000 shekels every month for two years.”  With a family of ten children, that would mean spending twenty years of life with our extra income paying for ten evenings that last a total of 40 – 50 hours.  To  me that seems wildly disproportionate – the life energy that goes into earning that kind of money is significant.  I was feeling such a total disconnect between what I was saying and the responses I was hearing.

Then I realized that I’m looking at the wedding situation as something that I’ll need to deal with in the foreseeable future, as the parent paying the bill, while they (as parents of much younger children) were looking at it as someone who had the bill paid for them.  It’s pretty easy to justify spending someone else’s money.  But then again, when I speak with people closer to my age group, there seems to be a fatalist attitude that this is the reality, and there’s nothing you can do.

I have to tell you, the entire discussion left me very discouraged.  I really thought that a good percentage of people intellectually were able to see the unsustainability of expecting parents of average means to make lavish formal weddings.  I understand the difficulty in keeping things simple when there are two different families who need to come to an agreement about this, who may have very different ideas about what kind of wedding their children will have.  When you’re making a bris, bar mitzva, kiddush, etc, you’re the sole arbiter of how much you spend on these family milestones.  For us, all of these events have been celebrated with much joy but always spending within our means.  I realize that I can’t assume it will always be like this.  But I thought there were many others who at least wished they could stay within their means.  Now I’m no longer so sure about that.

This conversation came shortly after a talk with a friend whose oldest child just got engaged.  She was sharing with me the pressure they’re feeling to buy the groom the mandatory gifts, particularly since the other side is financially much more comfortable and has already sent their daughter jewelry that they are trembling about how to reciprocate for.  They’ve been working hard for the past few years to get out of credit card debt and live within their actual financial means (using lots of money saving tips I’ve shared here on my blog), and facing the expenses of a wedding (and pre-wedding) are very daunting.

If you don’t know about the insanity of the standards for the mandatory gifts that need to be given to the bride and groom prior to and at the wedding, I don’t think I should enlighten you.  You’re just better off not knowing.  Because it’s disturbing.  Really disturbing.  Sometimes I wonder if the central point of getting married is getting somewhat lost in all the materialistic expectation around an engagement/marriage – I thought when I got engaged to my husband that he was the treasure (and the years have shown I was more right than I could have guessed).

When I got home later that evening, I was reflecting on the conversation with these women, and had a sudden realization about a big contributing factor for the disparity in our views.  I’ve written loads here about different things I’ve done to live within our means; it’s not a secret that I feel strongly that being responsible means living with what we have and not what I wished we had!

To me, debt is something to avoid and with the exception of a mortgage, have managed to live with the money we actually have our entire married life.  Sometimes people make assumptions about the amount of money we must have been making to do this (way over our actual income);  I think people would rather think we were really lucky rather than recognize we consistently were willing to make hard choices.  Living within our means hasn’t always easy – sometimes we did without, sometimes we had to wait a while until we saved up the money for it.  We’ve had to be very clear with ourselves about the difference between wants and needs, though we’ve often marveled at how many of our wants have been provided for.

It occurred to me that if you see debt as a normal tool for everyday living, my position really does seem ridiculous.  Why should you deny yourself something as nice as everyone else, if you can borrow the money and pay it back later?  If you’ve spent your life living this way when it comes to groceries and clothes, then a wedding is just the next logical step.  If debt is normal, then it shifts your entire view of spending.

So what’s the answer to this issue?  It’s a lot bigger than me, that’s for sure!  And I don’t know what I’ll do when faced with this decision – there’s tremendous social pressures on everyone when making a wedding.  I think we live in a world where so many of our decisions are made because we’re worried about what others think of us.  If we were able to put that aside and be honest about who we are and what our resources were, instead of pretending to have what we don’t have to impress people who don’t really care that much about us, then the idea of making a simple wedding wouldn’t be such a hard sell.

Did you have a simple wedding?  In what ways were you able to cut costs?  Do you think that spending less compromised the overall enjoyment you had at your wedding or not?

Avivah

Tzfat vacation activities

aliyah

We arrived in the ancient and holy city of Tzfat (Safed) on Friday afternoon, and were hosted for dinner and lunch for Shabbos by two different families.  On Saturday night, we had a melave malka with friends who I originally ‘met’ online via an international listserve for Orthodox Jewish homeschoolers.  They visited the US about five years ago and we met at that time, when we had the chance to host them for Shabbos.

Late that evening when we returned, dh drove home with dd11 and dd17, and everyone else stayed with me.  On Sunday morning, we went to the Old City of Tzfat and visited the English Speaker’s Library, where we were able to check out a number of books.  We are a family to whom a library is very important, and though we’ve made do with the resources we have available locally, it’s SO nice to be able to get the physical books in our hands!  I now have several choices for readalouds with the kids – it’s a good position to be in.  🙂

We headed from there to a second hand shop, but were stopped numerous times by animated groups of girls who wanted to take their pictures with us, while holding a sign that said something about Purim.  It seems they had a school activity which was something like a treasure hunt – some of the explanations we were given were: they needed a picture of them with a girl wearing a long skirt, someone with blond hair, someone with blue eyes, someone wearing a red shirt – there were other criteria and it seemed that our family met the different criteria needed by every single group we passed! For each of these pictures, the person/people in our family posed with the girls who needed it, but by the third time a group exclaimed excitedly over ds4, he hid behind me – he was a good sport but it was a little overwhelming for a little kid.  I was laughing to the kids that when these different groups of girls later look at the pictures they gathered, they’re going to see the same family in all of them!  We definitely felt part of the pre-Purim spirit.

After that we went to a couple of second hand shops, which are only open in the earlier part of the day.  We didn’t find much, but I did find two pairs of shoes for dd11, which was great. And it sounds funny that I think it was good that I didn’t find much, but now I can put the second hand clothes possibilities in Tzfat out of my mind – I had heard there might be good shopping there, but it  wouldn’t be worth a trip of its own.  By the time we finished at the library and stores, we had already been out for a while and the littles were tired – there’s a lot of walking in Tzfat – so we decided to head for home and come back to the Old City later in the day.

Did I mention there’s a lot of walking in Tzfat?  It bears mentioning again.  Since moving to Israel, I do a lot of walking and my stamina is pretty good, but my calf muscles were screaming in pain by the time I got back to Karmiel.  The last time I remember anything like this was on my trip to Israel last year when I was walking six or seven hours a day (and being used to being pretty sedentary thanks to usually driving everywhere in a car in the US), while wearing my new negative incline Earth shoes (which work the leg muscles just by walking) that I hadn’t broken in while still in the US.  This time, it took me three days after getting home for my legs to feel normal again.   The entire city is on a mountain and it’s up and down and up and down – nothing is close to where you want to go.  I took a stroller down a mountain path that was so steep that it was better suited to mountain goats than  people (it was a big shortcut that saved us a lot of time and the option was walking down the mountain via lots of wind-y roads).  I learned that you can’t believe anyone who lives in Tzfat when they tell you how long it takes to walk somewhere – they are totally skewed since their endurance is well beyond the rest of us mortals and you have to at least double the time and effort they tell you is involved.

Anyway.  Just to tell you that walking a lot is part of the Tzfat experience so doing anything takes a lot of physical effort.  🙂  After we got home and everyone had lunch, rested, and played, we went back into town late that afternoon.  We stopped first at Safed Candles, which has some amazing wax sculptures that the kids and I were all impressed by.  Dh knows the artist who is responsible for the bulk of the incredibly creative candles they have, who a while back told dh he’d be happy to give us a personal tour if we came to Tzfat.  But he wasn’t available on Friday afternoon which was the only time dh was available so we contented ourselves with browsing through the displays in the stores, which was well worth our time.  Safed Candles has a lot of fun sculptures, like a huge Noah’s Ark filled with familiar cartoon animals from various movies (eg Winnie the Pooh, The Lion King), as well as religious depictions and some sculptures that combine the religious and contemporary.

After that, we went to the Ari Ashkenazi shul.  Tzfat is filled with ancient synagogues, but that’s not really interesting to little children, so this was the only one I took them to.  When we got there, it was it was between the afternoon and evening services, when they don’t want tourists around, but I really wanted my kids to see this very holy place.  I had read a little bit about the shul at the above link, and was able to point out the wood carvings with the lion and it’s human-looking face on the Holy Ark to all of the kids. This may not have been interesting for them, but it was important for me personally and I would have felt a loss if I had only focused on doing what the kids were interested in.

After that, ds13 was asked to help make a minyan in a synagogue right next to the Ari shul, so I walked around with ds4 through some courtyards while we waited.  I wanted to go the Artist Colony, but again, that wouldn’t be interesting for the kids.  So we instead went for a stroll down the midrachov (which translates to something like big sidewalk, but basically means the popular shopping area).

We very soon came upon a store that was hopping with customers – it was a store selling Purim costumes and miscellaneous related supplies.  It was such an nice feeling to see everyone preparing for Purim, which like all Jewish holidays, is celebrated nationally in Israel.  So nice to be part of the religious majority after living our lives as the minority!  After pushing through the crowded aisles, we found a section with Purim masks and more costume stuff that even the older kids found very fun.

Dd15 and I took ds2 and ds4 with us to a store down the block to find her some tops, and left the other kids together enjoying the Purim costumes and other goodies.  We didn’t have much luck in the clothing department, and when we came out, it was starting to sprinkle.  By this time the littles were ready for dinner and bed, so dd15 and I headed for home, and left the middles to enjoy wandering around by themselves.  I love that this is something that as a responsible parent you can do here!  In the US I literally took them everywhere and constantly had my eyes on them; I had difficulty agreeing to let my ds12 bike with some friends a few blocks away to buy a Slurpy.  I felt it was borderline risky, and I definitely wouldn’t have let him go himself.  But here, I was fine letting ds13, the twelve year old son of our host and ds9 (I can’t remember if I let ds5 stay with them or not- I know he wanted to!) walk around a city our kids had no familiarity with after dark.  I know, Israel is such a dangerous country, isn’t it?  😛

The next morning, our host drove by the local petting zoo and checked the opening times for me, and also told me that the entrance fee was ten shekels a person (she had thought it was less, but the prices had gone up).  Regardless of the increase, I still wanted the kids to be able to go, so we loaded up the stroller and all began our hike up the mountain that is Tzfat, accompanied by an eight year old homeschooler who my boys had become friendly with.

The weather had been really nice all weekend, but was especially warm and beautiful that day.  We took a shortcut (up a steep path behind a store, then up a bunch of steps- it’s amazing my stroller is still in one piece!), and so the walk was only thirty minutes.  Or maybe a little less?  It didn’t seem too short, with even my older kids asking when we were going to get there.  When we got there, we were pleasantly surprised to learn that the entrance was free that day!

The petting zoo was pretty small, but still very nice.  There were rabbits, guinea pigs, lots of different kinds of pheasants and other birds, and lemurs.  Then the duck pond had a number of ducks as well as swans.  In another area, were chickens, peacocks, emus, and deer.  I’m guessing that the entrance was free because there weren’t so many animals available for viewing/petting.  But I didn’t mind.  Because we were there during school hours, for most of our visit we were the only ones there, and I was able to let the kids run around and keep an eye on them all while sitting in one central place.  It was so relaxing!

I was there for quite a while – we had packed a light picnic lunch to enjoy there- but dd15 and ds13 stayed for a short while before asking if they could walk around the Old City together.  I was happy to let them have time exploring without having to take into account the littles, who go much more slowly, and walking with a stroller is limiting because the entire city is connected via steep flights of stairs.  They were out for a few hours and had a really nice time together.

There was a pony there, but though they usually offered rides for an additional fee, that day weren’t offering the rides at all.  Too bad, since I would have gladly paid for all the kids to have a ride.  However, the kids were having a good time and didn’t mind.  There was also a playground, and while we were there, one of the workers took out a hedgehog to show a visiting adult friend.  Since our kids were there, they got to hear the details about it as well as to pet it and watch it close up.  It’s nice to be able to enjoy simple pleasures, and this zoo was one of them.  Nothing fancy, but the kids had a really nice time and I found it very relaxing.

We went back to where we were staying, knowing it was time to pack up and head home.  Ds2 fell asleep, so I put him in bed while I made lunch and the rest of the boys enjoyed playing outside with their new friends.  Ds13 and dd15 got home just as lunch was ready, so we all ate outside on the covered porch in the warm sunlight, looking out at the beautiful views.

Finally, it was time to leave, and we took a couple of taxis to the central bus station and headed home.  The ride home was relatively uneventful – only one child threw up on the bus (fortunately I had foreseen this possibility since the winding roads lend themselves to nausea and was prepared with empty sandwich bags and extra tissues).  By the time we got home, it was after 6 pm, and we were all pretty tired.

Even though they are just a 45 minute drive from each other, Tzfat is the opposite of Karmiel in every way – physically, historically, socially  – and it really was a change of pace to spend a few days there.  We enjoyed ourselves so much and I feel very fortunate that we were able to go!

Avivah