Category Archives: homemaking

Tip for organizing puzzles

Years ago I used to get frustrated when somehow several puzzles would all get dumped out on the floor, and I’d spent a huge amount of time painstakingly separating them.  One day I had a brainstorm, and from that day on I never had an issue again.

As soon as I bought a puzzle, I would turn over all of the pieces and mark the back of each with either a colored marker (eg red) or the same number (eg 1).  The next puzzle would be marked with a different color marker (eg blue) or the next number (eg 2). And so on, and so forth.  (I found markers easier because within about a half a minute I could mark the back of all the pieces, and writing the numbers down took a little longer.  But when you have more puzzles than colors in your collection of markers, you have to move to something else since if two puzzles shared the same color markings, it would no longer be helpful.

Then, the next time puzzles would end up getting jumbled, I could quickly sort through them by glancing at the ‘key’ on the back of them.  And it was easy for me to get the kids to help with this as well (who were all young at the time and asking them to independently sort would have been beyond their ability).

Avivah

 

Recharging and birdwatching

At this year’s Torah Home Education conference in May, I spoke about the challenges of burnout, and the importance of taking time to recharge and renew yourself.  I mentioned something I was planning to do just for me: to take an early morning walk with a friend and enjoy some bird watching by a local lake.  This week, I finally did it!

We met at the lake at 7 am to accomodate me, the late riser.  😛  I was bleary eyed from being up repeatedly at night with ds2, who kept waking up, screaming for a while, then falling back asleep.  I stuck him next to me in bed to make it easier for us all.  I couldn’t fall back asleep each time as quickly as he did, and it seemed that every time I had finally fallen into a deep sleep, he’d wake up again.  Be that as it was, he was exhausted enough that at 6:15 am, he didn’t wake when I disengaged myself from his little body, that was wrapped all over me, and was there by 7:02.

What fun this was!  The friend I went with is someone I met at an aliyah meeting – she saw my name written on the sign up sheet and recognized it from Seattle.  We ended up getting into a nice long shmooze, during which I encouraged her to make her move to Israel this summer rather than making it an indefinite goal for the future, and which culminated with her agreeing to join us for Shabbos lunch.  At some point in our email communication I learned that she was an avid bird watcher, and asked her if she’d lead a group for our local homeschoolers. 

Then I realized, I didn’t really want to go bird watching with lots of kids, when I’d be so busy watching my littles that I’d hardly have time to notice what birds were where.  I wanted to do it myself!  So that’s what we did.

When you’re familiar with the birds or plants you come across as you’re taking a walk, it totally changes the experience; you begin to see things that you would otherwise walk by- it’s a much fuller experience.  We started off by seeing a pair of green herons, a first for my friend – she figured it out with her bird guide and it was exciting for her to see something she never had seen there before.  Then she pointed out Canadian geese (one of the only birds I sawthat I already recognized), goldfinches, mockingbirds, red-winged blackbirds, and kingfishers. 

As we walked along, I was able to see these birds frequently enough that I can now identify them on my own.  We saw a red-tailed hawk, and it was especially interesting to watch it being harassed by a mockingbird.  The mockingbird kept swooping in at it and pecking it – I suppose the hawk was too close to her nest – but the hawk just sat there, only occasionally slightly turning its head towards the little bird.  I was kind of waiting for it to get so fed up it would snap at it, but it didn’t seem bothered enough.  Very entertaining.

Then we saw mourning doves (I had recently seen a few of these in my backyard and wondered what they were – they look somewhat like small pigeons), orioles, cardinals, robins, and a northern grosbeak.  I think that I would be able to identify all of these in the future without assistance, except for the kingfisher and green herons, which I could only see through binoculars.

I enjoyed myself so much that I’m thinking of doing this again sometime soon.  The early morning is a beautiful time of day, with a freshness and energy that I really love, and even on hot summer days, it’s still pleasant that time of day.

How do you find ways to make time for yourself, to keep yourself from becoming depleted by the continuous requirements of motherhood and parenting?

Avivah

Benefits of no computer

This past week has been a really nice one – after a very long while of being super busy, things are finally shifting into just regular busy, and I remembered what it was like to be the person I like to be – basically, to be very present in the moment.  And that has been fantastic.

Ironically, just when I finally had both the time and desire to post about a number of issues – I’m unable to!  Though many of you may have been assuming that things are so hectic I don’t have time to write, it’s actually my current computer situation that has been the cause.
One night we turned the computer off, and all was working normally.  The next morning, the screen didn’t go on.  And not being able to see anything on your computer screen definitely puts a crimp in computer usage.  😛

While technically it’s not the best time to be unable to access the things I need on the computer since there are so many things I need to do, on the other hand, it’s created a feeling of freedom – I can’t check my emails, research facts related to our move, read things of interest – there’s no online competition for my time and no feeling of guilt or ‘I should get to that’ because I can’t.   This is wonderful!! I’ve been going to sleep earlier, spending more time with my husband and children just being there, started a new read aloud with the kids, got lots of interesting non-fictions books from the library to tie into our read aloud  – and am enjoying feeling balanced without having to work at being balanced.

Every time something happens to the computer, after the first feelings of annoyance or frustration, I begin to enjoy the extra space in my life that has opened up.  As useful as the computer is, it so easily becomes a time and energy drain.  Though I consciously limit the time that I spend online, and have extensively cut back this year on the online reading and research I used to do, it’s still so easy for the time to expand.  Even if it doesn’t, computer usage is a block of time that can be otherwise very constructively used with my family.

It reminds me of the feeling I had on several occasions when my watch broke.  I’m a very time conscious person – that means that being on time and reliable is an important value to me – and I’m constantly checking my watch to be sure I’m where I need to be at a given time.  After a few days of having no watch, I realized how much more relaxing it was not to constantly be able to check the time.   In spite of this, each time I’ve replaced my broken watch after several weeks, when the inconvenience of not having a watch overcame the benefits.  However, it’s now been almost two months that I haven’t had a watch, and perhaps especially because it was such an incredibly busy time, I found it has helped me stay centered on what needed to be done rather than the minutes on the clock.  I’ve learned to create bigger blocks of time and more margin to get things done, which allows me to do what I need to do in the necessary time frame, as well as to stay more calm while doing it.  It’s fascinating to see how easily our tools become our masters, isn’t it?!

As much as part of me dreams of not ever fixing the computer and going back to a simpler and quieter time in life, the computer is too important a tool for me to voluntarily give up. When I do go back to my regular computer usage (I’m currently using the library computer to take care of business – it’s the first time in a week and the time constraints force me to be very focused), I hope it will be with a stronger sense of honoring what is really important in my life and keeping the computer very much in the background, rather than allowing it to move into the foreground.

Avivah

Appointments winding down

Today I got up nice and early to whip my house into shape in time for the photographer to come (for pictures to post along with the online listing).  That wasn’t incredibly relaxing because you know the feeling of knowing there’s no way you can do what you need to do in the amount of time you have?   This is an area I tend to feel very uptight about (people coming into my private space and looking around), but somehow today, in spite of 4.5 hours of sleep (had to stay up late to take care of some conference stuff while the house was quiet), I was able to do what I needed to without getting emotional or tense about the situation.

The photographer came ten minutes early, right before I walked out with ds8 to his dental appointment, so I got to meet him and then introduced him to all of the kids.  Since ds3 had a pre-op physical scheduled right after ds8’s dentist visit, I took him along, and on my way out, took ds2 (he just had a birthday a few days ago – doesn’t time fly?!?).  He wasn’t feeling good and was out of sorts – maybe in part because he woke up at midnight and wanted to spend time with me during my ‘get work done while it’s quiet time’.  That’s why I didn’t finish until 2:30 am!

Anyway, I thought I’d take him with me so that the older kids would be able to do what they needed to without having to watch him.  That was more noble of me than I anticipated- it was an hour long dental visit, followed by an hour long visit with the pediatrician.  Ds3 and ds2 quickly got bored in the very small waiting area during the first appointment and thought it was amusing to play with the front door. Redirecting them repeatedly took a lot of energy on this particular day – I could have used a nap before I left the house!

The good news is – as of today, all of the dental visits for the family are finished!  (With the exception of ds3’s extensive work that will be done under general in a month, and dd10, who won’t see a dentist until after we move.)  21 trips to the dentist later, everyone’s mouth is in good shape.  Yes, 21.

That doesn’t include 2 trips to the orthodontist, 2 trips to the oral surgeon, 2 trips to the lab for blood work, one day at the emergency room, two trips to the osteopath, three trips to the chiropractor, and four trips to the gastroenterologist.  Or the visits to the Jewish Agency for interviews and then again for more paperwork, or to the Israeli embassy twice (tomorrow morning will be the third time), or two trips to get our US passports processed.  Or the pediatrician today, or the oral surgeon on Friday.  Or Pesach.  Or preparing for the conference.    Or getting our house ready to sell, or trying to find a place to live in Israel.  I don’t think I want to add all of that up, but I know it’s a lot.  🙂  I suppose it’s good that I’m waiting to take dd10 to the dentist after we move, or the total would be higher.

What’s really nice is that it’s finally winding down!  I looked at my planner today to schedule a date for a check-up for ds2 with the pediatrician, and I had wide open weeks to choose from.  Well, maybe not wide-open, but it looks like it since I haven’t yet written in all the appointments to conduct reviews for local homeschooling families filing their end of the year paperwork.  But I told the director of the umbrella program that I could only meet with seven families, so that’s a finite amount of meetings.  Though I know there will be a lot more to do in preparation for our move, it’s nice to feel like a good bit of things have been taken care of.

You know, until this week I haven’t wanted to write or talk about a lot of what I’ve been doing.  I felt when I did, my carefully kept in-check energy would start shifting and speeding up in a negative way, and I didn’t want to stress out others or myself by describing what I’ve been doing – there’s been a lot of life to live in between the highlighted appointments above.  But this week I realized I had shifted my perspective back into a better place because I was able to talk about what I’ve been doing, and not feel myself talking faster to keep up with my thoughts.  I wasn’t stressed out before, but now I feel calm inside, whereas before I was really working to keep that calm.  Part of this shift came after someone I spoke to suggested that I needed to stop being so attached to the outcomes I desired and let go – not an easy thing to do, to be working to accomplish things and simultaneously not be emotionally attached to if they get done in the way I want or not.

But she was right, and it was a powerful reminder than I can do what I do, but I have to remember that Hashem runs the world, and I can only do the footwork for my little part in the world.  And how it ends up isn’t dependent on me.  It’s a good head space to be in now, and I’m glad to be here.

Avivah

To blog or not to blog, that is the question!

>>i am trying to decide if blogging is something i want to try.  to try or not to try?  is it beneficial?  are there any downsides?<<

When I started blogging almost five years ago, it wasn’t something as common or popular as it is now.  As hard as it is to imagine now, many people didn’t know what a blog was at that time!  My only goal was to be able to offer help or perspective to moms who might not have real life support, since I would have appreciated that as a young mother trying to figure everything out from scratch.   As readers began to ask more questions about other areas, and I was finding it hard to respond to the private emails with questions as well as to write for the blog, it gradually evolved to writing about a number of other topics.

While I started off blogging to help others, I found taking the time to write created ‘me time’ at the end of a busy day, and as more and more people began to comment, it became more personally rewarding.  That made it something I wanted to do for myself.  However, there was a point that the readership numbers got very high and many new people were reading, that  blogging stopped feeling relaxing and started to feel stressful.  Some people welcome controversy for the increased number of hits it will get their blog, and will try to stimulate it, but that wasn’t my goal and I wasn’t really interested in negative energy.

So if you should blog or not really depends on what your reason for considering it is.  If you want to make money, there are those who do very well, but you have to put a lot of time and effort into it.  There are a lot of blogs on the internet, and people will only read yours if they can find you and if they appreciate your content.  I personally wasn’t that invested in the numbers of daily hits I got (though it was fun to watch the numbers of visitors climbing and know people in many countries were reading), and this kept it low-key and low-pressure for me.   If you want to make money, you  need to be focused and treat it like a business – don’t underestimate the time this takes.  I can easily spend an hour+ on a blog post; it’s not the writing but the clarifying so you won’t be misunderstood that takes so much time.

If your life is already very full and busy, consider if you really want one more thing on your ‘to do’ list.  Blogging should be enjoyable, not something you make yourself do because your readers expect it.  If you want to make money, be realistic about how much time and work it will take before you are earning an income, and consider if there is other work that you could more easily do that is more reliable for many fewer hours of your time.

I try to make restrictions for myself on screen time, since the computer can too easily pull someone away from what is going on around them with the real life people who need them.  (Note the recent absence of posts, despite many, many things to share about.)  If you think it will be fun and don’t care if anyone reads what you write, go ahead.  If you have lots to do and hardly find time for yourself as it is, be careful that blogging will enhance your personal rejuvenation time, not take away from it.

Avivah

Pesach cleaning commences

Today we did a lot of Pesach cleaning – it was ambitious, but we mostly met our goals!  

My goal for today was to clean three of the four floors of our house for Pesach (all the bedrooms, three bathrooms, linen closet, attic, and basement).  My kids and husband made skeptical faces and raised their eyebrows when I told them my plans, but I felt that we did so much preliminary work (giving away/selling things) in the last couple of weeks that it was doable.  The reason I needed to do so much today is that my schedule is jam packed – in addition to the regular busyness of Pesach, I need to get our house ready for sale, organize the Torah Home Education Conference, and take care of myriad details for our move to Israel. 

Right now I’m getting dental appointments for everyone taken care of – I’m doing as much as I can now and I already feel glad that I’m doing it like this rather than leaving lots to do closer to our departure date (tentatively mid August) – because there will be plenty to do in the last few weeks, so why complicate it with things that can be done in advance? 

Last week I took ds12 for a root canal (he injured a tooth and killed the nerve), and then took ds8 for a checkup (that was a total of three appointments).  This coming last week I have three days with appointments scheduled (two dental, one orthodontist), and ds17 is coming home Friday afternoon and since everyone wants to go meet him at the bus stop, I’d like to finish all my Shabbos preparations on Thursday.    And there are other things planned for most days, as well (eg I told the littles we’d have a special outing to the library tomorrow on our way to pick dh up from work).  Which leaves me only Weds. that doesn’t already have something planned, and I might use that for doing my monthly/Pesach shopping since the only other possible day is the Thursday right before Pesach, which I think might be too intense. 

Since we want to put our house up for sale after Pesach, the week after ds gets home will be spent taking care of things around the house.  Today dh replaced a bathroom door that had a hole in it (which got progressively bigger as little hands kept poking and prodding) – it was an eyesore, and it looks so nice now!  The last three times ds17 called, I warned him that I’m going to put him to work as my personal handyman and he better be pyschologically ready when he gets here!  😛   (He told me with a smile that he’s ready!) 

In addition to dh replacing the door, the rest of us also got a lot done today!  It ended up being a productive and relaxed day for everyone – ds12 had several hours to go to his first baseball practice of the season, followed by the beginning of the season parade, and the other kids had fun playing board games with dh in the afternoon.  Most of the rooms look good (mine isn’t finished, because I needed to be around where the kids were working to supervise what was happening), and the basement is mostly done.  Another three hours by just me or one hour with all of us will finish it up. 

Now that we’ve done a thorough cleaning, it’s noticeable that we got rid of so many things (mostly clothes, some odds and ends, and the dressers in each bedroom), and it’s feeling more open and spacious.  It’s very pleasant, and all of the kids are appreciating it!  Dd14 is encouraging me to get rid of even  more things – she loves decluttering, but tonight when she suggested we give away or sell most of our books right now (because the littles twice a day dump out dozens of books at a time when they’re looking for something to read), I told her I already gave away over a large amount two weeks ago, and we need to keep something in our house for us to use for the next 4.5 months!  I think she’s ready to just pack whatever we’re going to take with us in a box and put it out of sight until we’re ready to go, and I understand that – I have a similar desire myself!

So Pesach cleaning is going well, and for the most part, I’m going to leave most of the other cleaning until the week after next, so that I can do the main floor (living room/dining room/kitchen) within a couple of days and then turn the kitchen over for Pesach.

I hope you’re all enjoying this lovely season of clearing away the old and making room for the new!

Avivah

Power out and backup lighting

Last night I taught my children what the adage, “Two is one and one is none” means.

Yesterday afternoon, our power went out – we had strong winds and a huge tree went down into someone’s garage right opposite the back of our house, pulling down power lines with it.  It wasn’t until it was evening and I noticed that almost all of our neighbors had their lights on that I realized it didn’t affect many people more than us.  Fortunately for us, someone had called the power company earlier in the day, and as Shabbos was ending, a truck pulled up to begin the repair.

Now, a power outage shouldn’t be a big deal, right?  Last week dh noticed that all of our battery powered lanterns and flashlights have no batteries, so he bought some.  Just in time!  But as frequently happens in the busyness of a large family, he couldn’t find them on the shelf he had placed them on just a few days ago.  So none of those lights were of use.

But that’s okay, because I had purchased three lights that are powered by winding, just in case.  The problem was those is that you had to basically continually wind them for them to be of any use – not much help!  We bought the older boys headlights for their backpacking trip several months ago, and a headlight would be perfect for a situation like this, since it directs light where you need it and frees up your hands – but wouldn’t you know, a little person must have been playing with it since the one I was sure I could locate two days ago was no longer there!

On to the oil lamps.  Do you remember a couple of years ago when I mentioned that I purchased attachments that could turn a mason canning jar into a lamp?  I bought three, and although all three glass tops that channel the flame were broken, I knew the lamps would work anyway.  One jar/lamp had been filled and used a number of times since we got them, for atmospheric dinnertimes in the winter.  So I knew that was fine.  Dh pulled it down and lit it, but it wasn’t burning well.  It seems the wick was too short.  So he transferred it to a smaller jar, where it fit perfectly.  That was then burning beautifully, while he and dd10 figured out how to connect the attachments to two other jars so we’d have three lamps going at once. 

But – once again, the reality of life with lots of little kids – two of the attachments had been damaged by apparently someone stepping on them and bending them out of shape!  And just then, the one lamp that was burning ignited right under the lid – I think when dh poured the fuel from one jar to another, some spilled underneath a lid.  So that was it for the oil lamps.

By now we couldn’t use battery powered lights, manual powered lights, head lamps, and oil lamps.  But fortunately, I had one more last possible option that I had put away quite some time ago – I had bought several large candles (2 inches in diameter) at a thrift store at one point.  And this is what finally brought light to our home!  We placed each of them in a metal bread pan as a security measure, and then that gave us enough light to do what we needed to do until the very extensive power line work was completed.

Although it sounds like we were a disorganized mess, we actually did a lot of things right.  Firstly, we were very calm about not having any power for hours, even with all the little kids who were getting scared about not being able to see anything, and that reassured them.  Secondly, as soon as Shabbos was over, we were able to locate our emergency lighting supplies in the dark – we knew exactly where to find them, as well as the matches to light them.  Secondly, dh had checked our flashlights and bought new batteries for them.  Thirdly, we had plenty of fuel available for the oil lamps, that would have kept us going for a long time.  And lastly, we had several options to choose from, so when one thing didn’t work out, we just moved on to the next possibility. 

The saying above, “Two is one and one is none” is used to refer to being prepared for emergency situations.  What that means is if you only have one backup to your regular way of doing things, if something goes wrong and you need your backup, it’s like having nothing.  To be in a better position, it’s good to have two options so that if one backfires or doesn’t work out as planned (see our situation for lots of examples of that!), you still have something else. 

The main thing I’ve learned is that we have to be more careful with the things our older children take out, since when they aren’t put back in a safe place, the littles find them and play with them – and then the chance of finding it when there’s no light goes down to a very small likelihood. 🙂   This is what accounted for most of our lighting options not working out (lost batteries, headlamp, dented lamp attachments).  

We were lucky that we didn’t go without power for long (maybe six or seven hours), and that there was some light shining in from the street lights and then later from the trucks working on the power line, so it wasn’t pitch black in the house even after dark- we had the luxury of seeing the flaws in our backup plans when the consequence to not having them was very minor, and it really only affected our lighting, not anything else. 

Avivah

Out with the old….

I have been on a serious decluttering kick in the last couple of weeks – and I tend to constantly be decluttering, so that’s saying something!

Here’s what I’ve given away so far:

  • 12 upholstered dining room chairs – very comfy but wide and could only comfortably fit 10 around the table; it was a pain when guests came to have to switch some narrower chairs with our regular chairs
  • 1 set of pots – I was washing a lot of pots at the end of the day, and it hit me that it was because I had so many that it was easier for the kids to just pull out something clean each time they needed it
  • 1 set of dishes, service for 14 – this was hard to get rid of because I paid so much money for them, but I inherited a set of stoneware dishes for 12 that was better suited to Shabbos, and I recently bought a nicer melamine set of dishes for the week – so more than one set was definitely overkill, and the set I gave away was never quite what I wanted
  • two sets of encyclopedias – one regular, one Judaic – I love the idea of having them but they take up a lot of space and we weren’t putting them to good use
  • 1 treadle sewing machine –  a machine that isn’t powered by electricity is fantastic, and treadle machines are particularly good for kids who are learning to sew – but I don’t know how to use it and haven’t learned in the three years since my mom asked me to keep it here
  • 1 sewing machine in cabinet – I have two portable sewing machines that are more space efficient, even though this one is much better quality (made in the old days when things were made to last!); practically speaking it’s easier for me to bring the machine to where I am than take myself to where the machine is
  • high chair
  • car seat- I’ll get another one when I need one
  • 3 large garbage bags of baby boy clothes – it was shocking how many baby clothes I’ve accumulated – I could have easily dressed triplet boys (still holding on to baby girl clothes, though – I’m still hoping we’ll one day even the score!)
  • several hundred books – donated to a book exchange, still have a box with probably a hundred more that I’ll take tomorrow
  • homeschooling curriculum and textbooks
  • 2 full size bookshelves
  • gave away a number of board games that we weren’t using (though the shelf still seems full!), also a chemistry set
  • 1 cordless phone – our kids chipped in to buy use a new phone that has two handsets and an intercom feature (our room is in the attic on the third floor, and this makes it possible to get a message downstairs without having to really raise your voice), so we no longer needed this
  • in addition to all of that, today – one overflowing shopping cart to Goodwill –  blankets, cushions, clothes, shoe.

What prompted me to do this at this particularly busy time?  I took a look around and started thinking about where most of the mess comes from, what makes me feel relaxed, and what makes me feel less than positive.  One big project that grew out of this thinking was something that I’ve spent the last three days on.

We had 8 full sized bookshelves in our home, all about 6 feet high and all stuffed.  Four were in the dining room, three were in the hallway upstairs, and one was in ds17’s room.   I decided that I wanted to move all the bookshelves out of the dining room to open up the space – I love books and we use them a lot but they create a lot of clutter, visual and physical.  (When my littles take a book off the shelf, they end up taking off another 10 or so at the same time, most of which end up scattered on the floor right in front of the shelves.)

To begin, we moved a double bookshelf to the living room, but first had to cut it down by 3 inches so it would look right in the available space.  You know I wasn’t rebuilding it – good thing I have a very competent son who is willing to help his mother with her great ideas.  🙂  Then with those gone, I only had two more bookshelves.  This required a lot more work than the first set of shelves.  To do this, I needed to: a) find another bookshelf to bring down to replace one of them so I could move it to a better spot – only one bookshelf in the house was narrow enough; b) move books from one bookshelf to a shelf upstairs; c) empty an entire bookshelf upstairs to make room for the migrating books.

Well, this wasn’t simple at all, and if I try to explain all the logistics of how I turned everything upside down to put it all right side up again, I’m going to lose you because it’s complicated. Even my family members who were watching me and who I kept explaining my idea to were having a hard time following me.  But after moving almost every book in every single bookshelf, and a few days in which hallways were stacked with books and only the periphery of the dining room table could be used for meals, it’s done.  I’ve eliminated 2 entire bookshelves, meaning 1/4 of the books we had, ds17 no longer has a bookshelf in his room, and I incredibly have extra space on a number of shelves!

Though I was definitely the driving force with this project, when dh came home tonight, he got right to work sorting through his seforim (Jewish religious books).  I had asked him in advance to mentally be prepared for that since it was the last part of the project and I couldn’t do it for him.   Amazingly, he was far more ruthless than I could have even hoped for!  We have about four banana boxes full of books – one box will be donated to a local synagogue right away tomorrow morning, the others are stacked neatly in the basement while we decide what to do with them.

My husband has a habit of picking up books that I’ve checked out to read from the library, and then keeping them with him until he’s finished with them.  Since he takes them to work and doesn’t read as fast as me (not many people do! 🙂 ), that usually means I don’t end up reading whatever book he’s taken a fancy to before it’s due.  Such was recently the case with the book The Power of Less (I finally checked out another copy for myself).  He found it very valuable, and it was this reading that helped him mentally shift into a readiness to let go of things he’s had for a long time.

These books were all purchased retail, have been through numerous moves, transatlantic, cross country, and intercity.  So a lot of money, effort, and emotion has been spent on them.  But you know what? Sometimes we hold on to things because we spent so much money, and it feels like a waste to let go of it.  But it’s crazy to keep holding on to something just because we have to justify the past investment in it.   The money was spent, and the money is long gone!  So I decided, if it’s not serving me right now or in the reasonably foreseeable future, then it needs to go.

Though I was looking at my decluttering from an analysis of how the 80/20 rule could be applied to keeping things clean, and my husband was viewing it from a different angle, we were really on exactly the same page.

On Tuesday a thrift store that I sometimes drop in at happened to have some beautiful used furniture – and I happened to have taken both bench seats out in preparation for my monthly shopping at the suggestion of dd9 (more often I only take out one bench seat).  And what I saw was a set – two dressers and a hutch, and for an incredibly low price – just $20 for everything!  Apparently it had just been put out at the end of the day before closing, and then we came in first thing in the morning – so we were definitely in the right place at the right time.

The dresser in the boys’ bedroom is falling apart and this was such perfect timing – it was wonderful to get such an amazing bargain, but it was also fantastic that at this busy time, I didn’t have to go out of my way to shop for this, which I really needed.  Their room just wasn’t staying clean and it was because with some drawers not working properly or even broken, they didn’t have enough space for their clothing.   So tomorrow morning we’ll take the old dresser and some other odds and ends to the dump – more purposeful decluttering!

Moving the bookshelves and giving away the bulky dining room chairs has really opened up the space in the dining room – when dd11 and ds15 came home tonight from MI, they both immediately commented on how much larger the room seems.  And because bookshelves attract clutter – loose papers and items that don’t have a home seem to find a place there – there’s will be a lot less to clear up and clean around.

It was a huge amount of work, particularly since the older kids weren’t around to help much, but it was worth it.  Getting rid of things that don’t serve you is very freeing – it feels like I’m making room for more good things to enter our lives (and I don’t mean more ‘stuff’)!

Avivah

My schedule for next couple of weeks

I have so many topics that I’ve said I’ll get to and I’m not forgetting about them!  It’s just that there’s a lot going on here so it’s more challenging than usual to find time for computer stuff.

Here’s a overview of just the bigger things in my schedule for the next two weeks:

Thurs. Aug. 12 – evening performance at dd14’s camp – she was in drama, dance, and a musical interpretation, we stayed for cast party and got home at 1 am

Fri. Aug. 13 – did shopping with boys for clothes, tried to get food cooked and house cleaned for Shabbos 🙂

Tonight, Sat. Aug. 14 – dd15 and ds11 left for a five day trip to Michigan

Sun. Aug. 15 – hope to attend a morning session at dd’s camp for mothers and daughters, ds14 comes home from camp mid day,  I was asked to speak somewhere at 5 pm

(This week doesn’t look so full but in addition to activities I have scheduled for kids, need to get house in order and do a couple of biggish house projects)

Tues. Aug. 17 – full day of shopping in PA

Wed. Aug. 18 – building berry pergola in garden (ds17 said he wants to do this for me before he leaves)

Thurs. Aug. 19 – building berry pergola in garden, dd15 and ds11 return home in the evening

Fri. Aug. 20 – pick up dd15’s friend from bus (coming from NY) mid day to spend five days with us

Sat. Aug. 21 – last Shabbos with ds before he leaves to yeshiva, make siyum in honor of gemara ds17 finished after two years

Sun. Aug. 22 – tryouts for baseball travel team for ds11, siyum and swim party for ds11 and ds17 for mishnayos they finished, family dinner bbq afterward

Mon. Aug. 23 – take dd15 to get fitted for contacts, take dd15 to hairstylist

Tues. Aug. 24 – early morning – take ds to bus to NY, evening – take dd’s friend to airport

Sat. Aug. 30 – ds17 taking last bus from Manhattan here, pick him up in early morning hours

Sun. Aug. 29 – wedding for close family member early afternoon (we’ll be quite involved with the preparing, setting up, etc), upsherin for ds3 in late afternoon, take ds17 to bus back to NY in evening

Mon. Aug. 30 – dd15 wants to go to MVA to get driver’s permit since you have to be 15 and nine months and this is the first day she can get it (there’s a mandatory six or nine month waiting period between getting the permit and license, so she wants the waiting period to happen while she’s in Israel)

Tues. Aug. 31 – entire family going to NY to take dd15 to airport, will go to pick up ds from his part of NY so he can go to airport with us – full day trip

Ds17 is working most days, dd14 is babysitting almost every day (so there are hardly any older kids around during the days), ds17 wants to go get his permit (never ended up getting it when we went in the winter because of a technicality- he never wears his glasses; it’s a light prescription and he doesn’t really need them, but they wouldn’t allow him to take the test without them), dh needs me to pick him up from work a couple of times because the person who he used to carpool with no longer works in the area, and the kids’ piano teacher wants to have a recital before dd15 leaves for the year.

I didn’t mention any of the activities and trips I have planned with the kids, or that I’m trying to pull together our homeschooling plans for the coming year.   It also doesn’t take into account all the things that need to get done to keep the house running, the shopping and packing for both of the kids going away (they’ve both presented me with lists), or the holiday shopping for the kids who will still be home.    :))

After this, I’ll have almost a week and a half before Rosh Hashana, and then will be mostly busy with holiday preparations for the entire month of September, in addition to starting our official homeschooling schedule.  I told ds even if he makes the travel baseball team (he’s an excellent player but he would be competing for a spot with boys up to age 15), I don’t know if I’ll allow him to join – it’s a lot to add to an already full schedule.   I’m thinking that sometime mid October things will start to slow down a little.  🙂

So bear with me if it seems to be taking longer to get posts up.

Avivah

How I do menu planning

The way I shop is different than the way most people do (ie buying almost everything once a month with just a couple of trips mid month to buy produce), and not surprisingly, the way I menu plan is different as well.  It’s a pretty simple process that works well for me in making meals with a good amount of variety while staying within a fairly strict budget.

The main difference in my approach to what is typically recommended is, most people make a menu plan and then go shopping for the ingredients. I go shopping, make sure I have basic staples on hand and supplement with whatever is a good price, and then I make a menu plan based on all of that.

Here’s what I do:

Step 1 – Make list of available ingredients.

When I’m ready to write up the weekly menu plan, I first take a look to see what is in the fridge. Are there any leftovers that need to be used up, vegetables that are getting soft? I look in the freezer and see what I have there – is there anything taking up space that needs to be used up?  I make a list of all of these things, and this becomes the basis of my menu plan.

This week my starter list looked like this:
fridge – hardboiled eggs, sprouted green lentils, sour milk, beet salad, carrot kugel
produce – napa, baby bok choy, jicama, apples, carrots
freezer – 1.5 lb ground meat, sweet potatoes, strawberries, peaches, bananas

I also look to see if there’s anything in the pantry that I have a large amount of – I try to keep basic supplies in stock and rotate through it regularly. This week I noticed that I have several boxes of rye noodles, so that went on the list.

Step 2 – Make list of recipes that use available ingredients.

Next I look for recipes that will use what I have on hand. I have a few recipes that I make somewhat regularly, but nothing that I make week in and week out.  Months can go by before I make the same recipe again!  As I see recipes that look interesting, I write down the name of the recipe, as well as where I found it.  If it’s an online recipe site (eg food.com is the one I usually go to), I note the recipe number, and if it’s in a cookbook, I note the page.  On recipe sites I do a search for the key ingredient that I want to use up (eg green lentils); I also ask myself, ‘what can I do with x ingredient?’  Not infrequently I’ve made up recipes that have turned out very well based on that question!

Step 3 – Fill in chart with recipes from list.

On this same paper where all the available ingredients and recipe ideas are listed, I quickly make a graph that will have room for three meals a day, Sunday through Friday.  Once I know what ingredients I have to work with and which recipes will use them, I start filling in the graph. The more perishable something on my list is, the sooner it gets scheduled. Sunday lunch or dinner almost always includes leftovers from the weekend. I don’t like to have things sitting around in my fridge, because the reality is that they’ll get forgotten and turn into interesting science experiments that get tossed at the end of the week. 🙂

Very often I have a basic framework for my weekly meals that I set up once a year, though I don’t always stick to it.  It will look something like this:

dinner – Sunday – leftovers (meat); Monday – vegetarian; Tues – dairy; Wed – meat; Thurs. – vegetarian

Then I match up the main dish I’ve selected with the day that it best fits for (eg, pizza would be written down for Tuesday).

I don’t usually use all the ideas that I come up with for the week. Some get transferred to the following week, some don’t. This week I had the following listed on my sheet:

  • warm lentil and potato salad
  • roasted garlic quinoa and vegetables
  • baked sweet potatoes and apples
  • curried chickpeas with vegetables
  • spicy peanut sesame noodles
  • jamaican rice and peas
  • braised lentils with sausage

If you look at my menu plan for this week that I posted yesterday, you’ll see that I didn’t use half of these ideas.  For example, there are two lentil recipes listed though I knew I didn’t need more than one, but I don’t know how the week’s recipes will go together overall until the menu is put together.  I like to have several good options to choose from and then I pick the one that works best in the context of what else we’re having that week – for example, I wouldn’t want to have potatoes every day, so I’d choose the recipes in which the ingredients were more varied.

A couple of things I also took into account this week: yesterday I was just finishing writing up the menu plan, when my mother walked in and said she had lunch for us! She had attended an event yesterday morning and the hosts asked her to take as much of the leftovers as she could (they know she’s the grandmother of a lot of local grandchildren!), so she brought us a couple dozen bagels, egg salad, and tuna salad. Because I use whatever is prepared first, that became a much enjoyed lunch an hour later.

Because of the fiasco with all of my milk souring thanks to my forgetfulness, I needed to find ‘sour milk recipes’ (in most quick breads, sour milk/buttermilk is a baking enhancer).  To use some of the milk, I scheduled muffin loaf, biscuits, and cornbread for this week.

So that’s my basic three step process – once the menu plan is done, it eliminates the ‘what should be we have for dinner’ question, as well as the need to go shopping to pick up some groceries needed for that night’s planned dinner.  Truly, I credit making a menu plan and sticking with it one of the biggest factors in keeping things in the house running smoothly.

Avivah