Avivah Werner

Category: Parenting

  • New grandson, homeschool alumni panel, changes to our homeschool

    We have been blessed with our third grandson two days ago – first three granddaughters were born within nine months of each other, and now these three little boys born within a year! (We’re waiting for one more addition in the next few weeks.) It’s so nice that as they grow up and we have family get togethers, the cousins will all have each other.

    Two days old

    And so he won’t be left out since I didn’t announce when he was born, here’s me with my beautiful second grandson three months ago.

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    Dd21 and I went to Jerusalem yesterday to see the new baby, and we had the luxury of a long day of driving together that provided the opportunity for hours of shmoozing time. It’s really interesting to watch one’s children become independent, thoughtful adults with well-formed opinions. I reread a couple of John Taylor Gatto’s books recently (Dumbing Us Down and Weapons of Mass Instruction – I highly recommend them both if you want to expand your thinking about education). His writing from twenty and and eleven years ago is remarkably relevant to current events. Dd picked up the book one day when I left it out, and has found his writing insightful and thought-provoking, and we’ve had some really great conversations about the themes he discusses.

    Last year I gave the keynote talk at the online Jewish Homeschooling Summit (our first grandson was born that morning!), and though this year I’m not able to participate, dd21 will be joining the alumni panel tonight. The conference is free, and details of the schedule are here. Recordings are available if you can’t participate live. (Edited to add: though she had a lot to say, she only got one question so you won’t hear much of her very well thought-out and articulated positions on education.)

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    Meanwhile, it looks like we’ll be having some shifts to our homeschooling. Ds15 is seriously considering leaving high school to learn at home. He’s very mature and is taking the time to weigh the decision, evaluating the benefits and disadvantages of each option. The main advantage is the doors that may open later on, for example, to the post high school yeshiva that his older brother attended. The main disadvantage is spending years waiting to do the things you really want to do, which closes other doors. I would love to have him home again but will support whatever choice he makes.

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    We had a visitor this Shabbos and spent hours chatting. This resulted in me agreeing – for the first time ever, despite many requests over the years – to include her thirteen year old son in our homeschooling lives. (He’ll be living with us during the week, going home for Shabbos.) We’ll be doing a week long trial, after we get home from the Shabbos bris of our grandson ***. If it goes well, we’ll extend the trial for another few weeks. My husband was surprised that I agreed, but I think it will be a positive thing for all the boys – hers and mine.

    We’re looking to do a house swap for this Shabbos with someone in the Rechavia neighborhood of Jerusalem with a three bedroom apartment. If you know someone, or are that someone and want to enjoy a Shabbos in the gorgeous north, please be in touch via email. (My name@yahoo.com)

    Avivah

  • Spending time alone in nature and sharing it with my children

    I’ve had a lovely few weeks of living life without writing anything about it and I’m now back with you!

    This morning I went for a short walk and discovered a beautiful private spot near a stream. I went down next to the water and sat there for quite a while, just being quiet. I found it’s not so easy to sit and be present with the sounds of nature around me without wanting to reach for something to listen to or read or write. I’ve gotten used to listening to podcasts/recordings/meditations/music when by myself, and although these are often very positive, centering, gentle messages, they nonetheless keep me from being truly alone with myself. Hence my recognition of inner restlessness this morning.

    It’s not easy to be with one’s self without distraction, but it’s important. I’m reading Digital Minimalism, by Cal Newport, and he has a chapter on the benefits of solitude. Never in history, he says, have we had the possibility of never being alone with ourselves. Not in the car, not walking somewhere or waiting somewhere. Thanks to modern technology that allows us to access non-stop entertainment and information, we never have to be alone with ourselves.

    He quotes Michael Harris, author of Solitude, who says that three crucial benefits of time by one’s self are: new ideas, understanding yourself, and closeness to others.

    I don’t have to read a book, though, to know that I always feel better after time alone in nature. I like the inner calm that comes from slowing down and being present with myself, and helps me be more present in the moment for others.

    My daughter was sharing with me about an interaction with a woman who is around seventy, and said it’s nice that older people often have the ability to hold space for others. Unless, she added, they have a smartphone. Her observation made me sad. It’s really a challenge to hold onto yourself in the digital world, and even those who have lived many decades without it have been sucked in. Online technology is touted as the answer to social isolation for people of all ages, but what it too often ends up doing is stealing us from ourselves and those around us.

    I sometimes think that more nature is the solution to almost everything. Nature always holds a space for us. It just is, and allows your mind to slow down, and to find the stillness in yourself. We are all calmer, happier people in the context of nature. I am extremely blessed to live where I have so much more access to nature than I have in the past (as you know, that’s what the impetus for making the move here was), and even when I don’t go out of my yard (which is most of the time – I’ve become quite a homebody), I find deep pleasure sitting on my patio, looking out at the fields and mountains.

    Last week I took an early morning nature walk and I crossed paths with a teen boy riding a horse. Not galloping or anything exciting, just a slow, plodding pace. A couple mornings later I crossed paths with a different teen boy, and thought how wonderful it is that these young men have this space for themselves.

    I’ve regularly noticed that a day or two after my fifteen year old comes back from school, as the ‘city’ energy is released from him, he gets more upbeat and I sense an inner calm stealing over him. We had a number of guests over the summer in our vacation apartment, and I saw it happening with them also – they came with a faster moving energy, and after a couple of days they had a more relaxed vibe. It’s the effect of the natural environment.

    Green Renaissance Films make short films of ten minutes ore less that celebrate the inner beauty of regular people who are living their lives in harmony with their values. It doesn’t seem incidental that nature is important to them all.

    I just started a read aloud of My Side of the Mountain with my boys (dd21 ended up joining us, too); I’ve read it with the older kids but these boys were too young to remember it. I’ve loved this book since I read it as a ten year old! This fictional book is about a thirteen year old who leaves home to live alone in the Catskill mountains, and the life he creates for himself. As I was sitting in my quiet spot this morning, I thought how I’d love to share it with the boys, and when I came home told them that today we’ll be doing our reading in this spot. Dd 21 is planning to travel to Jerusalem today, and I asked her if she’ll be able to join us. She’s going to schedule her bus so that she can come with us. They’ll experience the book in a different way when sitting next to a gently rippling stream, in the middle of a bamboo thicket while listening to me read.

    That’s where we’ll be going in about twenty minutes. I’m looking forward to it!

    Avivah

  • Thoughts before Rosh Hashana, changing our future

    We stand at the beginning of a new year, at a time when the fate of all humanity will be determined for the year to come.

    When I think of the enormity of Rosh Hashana, I consider the year behind us and all that has happened. All of that was determined last Rosh Hashana. And so, if there is something that we would like to be different this year, if there is something that troubles us, this is the time to throw ourselves into prayer and beg G-d that the coming year be different.

    I’ve shared about the deep, deep satisfaction and happiness I have when all of my children are together and enjoying one another’s company. I don’t think there’s anything else that brings me that kind of pleasure. I sometimes think about G-d looking down on His children – what would bring Him more pleasure than His children all getting along with one another?

    People across the world have become fractured and feel separate from and sometimes even hostile towards those who think differently or make different choices. As hard as it may feel, if we can put those differences aside and instead of seeing a position, look at the person behind it, to value and appreciate the person, if we can have good will towards others and presume they have good intentions towards us – we can change the future.

    Because when G-d sees us showing love and compassion for one another, it awakens His compassion for us. We are all imperfect, we all make mistakes and have endless room for growth, but when we come together with a desire for harmony, there is nothing that our loving Father wants to see more than His children getting along.

    United we stand, divided we fall. This is true in so many ways. May we all be inscribed for a year of revealed blessing.

    I wish for everyone one of you a year of health, blessing, joy in your family relationships, and a feeling of trust and well-being in your inner and outer worlds.

    Much love to you all,

    Avivah

  • After a year and a half, both of my youngest children are in school!

    Ds4 has been homeschooling for the last year and a half, and made amazing strides. I haven’t mentioned him for a while, so here’s a quick update.

    He’s always been smart – I told his bio parents when I first met them that I was sure he would be! – and now is visibly much more confident and secure than he was when he was last in school (March 2019). His physical development has been fantastic – climbing, running, swimming; a father of a toddler with Trisomy 21 met him in a park and told me he can’t keep his eyes off him, that he was inspired to see a child with Down syndrome move like he does. I get the same kind of comments we hear with ds9 – are you sure he has Down syndrome? The regular kind? Really? But he doesn’t look like it….

    All of our kids are very good mediators, and in ds9 he has his own one-on-one private tutor for hours every day. He even taught ds4 to swim this summer.

    And now, finally, he’s going to school! He’s really ready in every way. And so am I.

    We had hoped to send him to a local multi-age mainstream kindergarten a few minutes from our home, but after two conversations with the teacher, it was clear that she may be a good administrator but warmth and flexibility aren’t her strong points (or maybe they just don’t come across on the phone). Her obvious impatience with me and disinterest in having ds4 in her class caused me to eliminate what seemed like an ideal inclusive option, and instead register him at the special needs school that ds9 attends. It’s more important to me that he be in a place where there is warmth and appreciation of who he is, than to pursue an supposedly inclusive option that would leave him marginalized.

    Though there’s an afternoon option that every other child in the kindergarten and school attends, I opted not to send either of them. That would mean them leaving home before 7:30 am and coming home at 6:30pm. Instead, they’ll be leaving school at around 1 and home by 2:15 pm. I’ve been told again and again what a shame it is that they’re missing out on all the extracurricular fun activities, but I’m okay with that. Building relationships takes time, and our connection with them would be negatively impacted if they’re gone all day, every day.

    I didn’t send ds4 the first two days of school since he had a mild eye infection. Instead, we inaugurated the first official day of school with a trip to a beach at the Kineret.

    There was a homeschool meet up scheduled at that same beach for 10 am and though I would have loved to have met other families, the beach isn’t really a great place if you have modesty concerns. We go early in the mornings when we mostly have the beach to ourselves.

    Ds12 swimming

    Anyway, ds4 has been asking me for months when he’s going to to school, and was so happy to finally go with ds9 on the van this morning!

    After I sent them off, it struck me that for the first time in a year and a half, I could do something without having to be conscious of the presence of a younger child. Though I still have two children homeschooling (12 and 14), parenting teens is very different than young children! It’s such a nice thing to have quiet space that isn’t carved out while my children are present.

    Less than 90 minutes after putting them on the van, ds9’s teacher called. She notified me that the students in her class had a 45 minute session with a specialized teacher on the first day of school. That teacher just got a positive covid test, and ds9 will now have to go into quarantine for the next week and a half.

    I wryly smiled inside – my quiet time will have to wait a while longer!

    I’m grateful that at least ds4 was able to go on the school van for the first time together with ds9. I knew having his older brother’s ongoing presence would make the transition to kindergarten easier on him, but even if it was only one time during this early transition to school period, that still has been helpful for ds4.

    And so the school year has begun, kind of!

    Avivah

  • Vision board workshop with my family

    Last night I was planning to do a vision board workshop with the teen girls that I give a Shabbos shiur to, but there was a scheduling conflict so I rescheduled it.

    All my family members happened to be home at 5 pm and it occurred to me, why not do a family workshop right now!

    Everyone was game, and quickly cleared the table and took out art materials. I put out the pile of collected magazines.

    What is a vision board? A vision board is a tool to help a person clarify, visualize and connect emotionally to their desire for the coming year. For this reason I feel it’s especially appropriate to do before Rosh Hashana.

    I started by explaining to my family the purpose. Then, each person was to cut out pictures or words that were emotionally resonant for them. They didn’t have to know why something resonated, but just to recognize that something about it felt good to them.

    After collecting the images, they are pasted onto a paper to create a collage of good feeling images.

    Since each picture is chosen for what it represents to the person himself, no one else can accurately interpret what was chosen without hearing the explanation. Often what it looks like and what is represents to the person are very different. For example, one son chose a picture of pizza with different toppings to represent balance.

    Everyone enjoyed the creative experience, but then we had to stop to go in our different directions (shul, bar mitzva lesson, dinner). I went to a small Elul gathering in the fields that was so lovely. Several times I noticed my family members were trying to reach me, and when I finally called back at 10:45 pm, they told me they were waiting for me to come home so we could part 2 together.

    I was so touched that they initiated this!

    Part 2 is sharing the significance of what they created together with everyone else. This was so incredibly meaningful and powerful.

    I wasn’t sure they would feel comfortable with this aspect, and stressed when I explained the process initially that no one had to share if they didn’t want to. It takes courage to set an intention and it can feel vulnerable to envision something with no idea of how or when it can happen. And it can feel even more unsafe to share about those intentions with others.

    As nice as the creative process was, sharing about it exponentially deepened the experience. It helped each person further clarify for themselves and for the rest of us what they wanted and their feelings about it.

    I was literally in awe of what each person created, to hear the explanation of what each picture and saying chosen meant to him. Even knowing my children as well as I do, I wouldn’t have guessed what many of the pictures represented. So much depth and to hear about what was chosen, what was cut out so it didn’t appear in the vision board…wow.

    A few of us want to continue adding to the vision boards today. One came home from davening and by 7:45 am was already looking through the magazines for more images to add. Everyone in our family who was home made a vision board (two aren’t shown), except for ds4 (though he was actively present, including through session 2, which took place from around 11 pm until midnight).

    It was a great experience and one that I am so grateful we were able to do together!

    Avivah

  • The process of transition and letting yourself have your feelings

    The process of transition and letting yourself have your feelings

    The wedding was beautiful, the sheva brachos were wonderful – it could not have been more lovely in any way!

    At the end of Shabbos sheva brachos, a close friend of my son came over to me and asked me, “Do you know anything about psychology?” (I’m guessing it was probably because when my son spoke he said how he didn’t need the support of anyone else during the dating process because he was able to talk to me about everything.)

    “Maybe a tiny drop. Why?”

    “What to you do when you have to say goodbye to a close friend?” he wanted to know.

    I could see the heaviness in his eyes. “You have to let yourself feel sad,” I told him.

    Then I shared with him about how emotional I had been the week before. (I told you about my waterworks already.) That as happy as you are for the person getting married, you recognize and feel the loss of the current relationship with them, and it’s important to recognize it and let yourself feel the sadness.

    Painting – my inner sadness (dark grey) when surrounded by external joy of the engagement (orange/red), and finding my own flow and happiness (shades of teal) as I participate in the happiness all around

    The next day I was driving my fifteen year old to the bus stop the next morning, he told me, “I caught something from you at the wedding.”

    Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

    “Being emotional.”

    He said he was feeling a lot of sadness during the wedding, that it felt like saying goodbye to his brother.

    And again, I said, you have to let yourself feel it. You can’t squash your feelings down because they don’t go away. They just come out unexpectedly in different directions.

    The day of the final sheva brachos, I went to the shiva of a friend. As I told her, it’s a gift in Judaism that there’s a transition period between major life events and the step after that event. When a close family member dies, the person doesn’t go back to day to day life as soon as the funeral is over. There’s a week long period to process the loss of the loved one.

    Joyous events also need emotional transition time. When someone gets married, he has daily celebrations for him for the week following the wedding. As valuable as this is for the new couple to support their transition to married life, it’s also important for those who love them, to have a bit more time to be with them and more gradually let go.

    We made the final sheva brachos in Yavneel, and I really wanted to speak. (Actually, I wanted to speak at the Shabbos sheva brachos but was concerned that my emotions were too close to the surface and might bubble up and keep me from saying what I wanted to say. )

    However, it’s not the norm for women to speak at sheva brachos and I was less comfortable speaking in front of the Yavneel community crowd versus the family crowd on Shabbos. My husband knew I was very uncomfortable about speaking when the rav was there, and simply went over to ask if it was okay. He said it was fine, and so I did.

    This was important to me, because I felt it was meaningful to my son and new daughter-in-law. And it was also valuable for me in my own process as a mother, to share some of my appreciation about who my son is, and thank Hashem for His incredible kindness to our family, in bringing yet another wonderful person into our family.

    I share this because there are so many feelings when a close family member gets married, and often people feel guilty for not being wholeheartedly happy about it. It’s completely normal to have those mixed feelings, and it’s important to find a way to give those feelings space, in order to process them and then release them.

    Avivah

  • An emotional last Shabbos with my son before the wedding

    I’ve been a bit emotionally disconnected from the wedding plans for most of the engagement period, which hasn’t been my experience with our past weddings.

    But I’ve made up for it this Shabbos. 🙂

    Wow, what an amazing and emotional Shabbos. I held all my emotion about my son getting married in until now but now it’s bursting out all over.

    The original plan was to celebrate his aufruf at his yeshiva in Jerusalem, and everyone twelve and above in our family would go there. But then we talked about it just a week ago, and he said what he would enjoy more was a special Shabbos at home with all of his siblings.

    So we had everyone (ie all the married and single kids) here for the entire Shabbos. It was so nice. And it helped all of us get into the wedding spirit. Generally the bride’s side does a lot more of the wedding preparations, and we all agreed it’s harder to get into the mood when you’re kind of on the sidelines.

    I didn’t start crying until I gave my son a bracha (blessing) on Friday night – that triggered him to start tearing up, and we just stood there hugging each other, crying. So much emotion. And it continued through all of Shabbos – I kept getting these huge waves of emotion when I looked at him. Everything is a ‘last’ as a single – the last bracha, the last time he put Yirmi to bed, the last time going to shul with his brothers, the last breakfast together, the last time taking him to the bus to Jerusalem.

    Our family tradition is that for a person’s birthday, we go around in a circle and each person shares something they appreciate about the birthday celebrant. At our third Shabbos meal, we did a circle for my son, to give everyone a chance to share something about him.

    When my turn first came around, I couldn’t initially speak because I was too choked up, and my oldest son said, “I don’t understand why you’re crying. Your son is getting married, that’s a happy thing.”

    Yes, it really is a happy thing. We want our children to become independent, to do the things that are meaningful for them and to live the lives they want to lead. I truly celebrate that, and I couldn’t feel more happy that my son is marrying such a special person. They are a beautiful couple.

    At the same time, every new beginning is the end of something else. That’s where there is the sadness, the feeling of loss. A loss of the relationship as it is right now.

    I was emotional when my oldest son got married, but I didn’t know then how much things would change after he got married. Now I know. The saying goes, “You aren’t losing a son, you’re gaining a daughter. “And that’s true. But it’s also true that once your child gets married, your relationship is different. This is particularly true when a son gets married.

    This son is one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever met – he’s a natural leader, charismatic, extremely kind, with a huge heart and appreciation of every person. It’s not for nothing that so many people think he’s his best friend. When shadchanim asked me to describe him, I always muted my description of him, because to describe him accurately would seem like an exaggeration.

    When he was in shidduchim, I considered sharing about the process but didn’t know how to write about it without it seeming like I was bragging, which I wasn’t. There were very generous and very impressive suggestions that were made, that were a huge honor to have been offered. That was all a reflection of him. As the one handling the shidduchim, it was a lot to manage.

    Someone recently called to tell me her experience in working with him at camp, and said ‘he’s larger than life’. Yes, he is. He has been given a lot of gifts and uses them well, but remains humble and down to earth.

    Despite all his busyness, all his friends and activities, he makes us feel there’s nowhere he’d rather be than at home, and no one he’d rather spend time with than us. He’s been a huge positive force in our family, and I’ll miss him. We all will.

    And so, with all the happiness, there are a lot of tears.

    Avivah

  • A Friday wedding?? Yes, and here’s why.

    Yesterday afternoon an order for the wedding preparations arrived.

    One hundred fans for use by guests at the chupa.

    This isn’t something we’ve felt necessary to order for past weddings, but then again, we’ve never before made a Friday wedding with a chupa in the heat of the day!

    I have been getting interested comments about the wedding taking place on a Friday. It’s definitely not a typical choice. So let me tell you how and why it came about.

    In a number of the charedi yeshivas, there is a custom that weddings do not take place in the Jewish month of Elul (this year that coincides with August). This is because it’s the month before Rosh Hashana and a time of increased spiritual striving and intensity, and the yeshiva students are dedicating themselves to that on a higher level than usual. To support this, weddings that would take them out of the bais medrash (study hall) during this time aren’t scheduled.

    Elul would have been perfect timing for us, but with that not an option it left us two choices: a wedding at the end of Av (end of July) or a wedding after the chagim (fall holidays) in October.

    An added factor was that our kallah is on break from college from July through October, when her final semester begins. We all agreed it would be very nice if the wedding could take place during her extended vacation.

    The first option didn’t leave enough time to plan a wedding. The second option meant a much longer engagement period, missing the vacation period entirely with a wedding coinciding with her going back to school.

    The kallah’s father suggested making the wedding on Friday – since Friday is a ‘day off’, there is no conflict of yeshiva policy. That would allow the time frame they wanted for the engagement period, not too long and not too short. Then the wedding can take place during the college summer vacation, with them able to enjoy the bein hazmanim (yeshiva vacation) for the holidays as a married couple.

    So Friday was the perfect option, really a win-win in every way. The only downside is the heat. 🙂 Hence the fans.

    Avivah

  • Our son is engaged!

    We are so happy and grateful to share that our son (ds22) is engaged!

    We are once again humbled and delighted to see how Hashem has sent the perfect match for our child!

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    Isn’t this a nice thing to share about on my 29th wedding anniversary?

    When my son began shidduchim, I was reminded of how the shidduch process forces you to clarify your values. My role as the parent is to facilitate my child meeting the person who is right for him, and in order to do this, I spent a lot of time speaking with him (and previously each of my children in turn), clarifying what he was looking for, what qualities were important to him and what life direction he wanted to move in.

    What kind of qualities did he appreciate in his friends, and why? Who does he feel comfortable with and why? What qualities does he think are important and why? This wasn’t one long conversation, but an ongoing conversation over a period of several months.

    Going out with people who weren’t a match was an important part of the clarification process, as it helped him to hone in on what he was – and wasn’t – looking for. I reminded him several times during that time of the value of contrast (the difference between what you have and what you want) – it’s contrast that helps you define more clearly what you want, and helps you to move toward what you desire.

    The description of the person he wanted to marry changed substantially right before meeting his fiancee. When I first heard about her almost three months ago, I thought her combination of qualities sounded right for him, but he hadn’t yet clarified that certain qualities that I thought were very important (that she had) were of primary importance to him.

    He wasn’t the only one who had to get clarity before they could meet – I did, too, on a point that was a significant question for me. I’m sure her family went through the same process. I think that’s how it always is – for the parents and child, constantly getting increasing clarity of what you’re looking for and what you want to give priority to.

    Every shidduch happens at the time that it’s meant to happen. I don’t believe there are delays, but rather, heavenly directed timing, when everyone is aligned and on the same page.

    And here we are, blessed to be welcoming another wonderful, amazing person into our family!

    Avivah

  • Intrinsic motivation and my thirteen year old son, the shochet!

    Quite some time ago, ds13 decided he wanted to learn shechita, and made arrangements independently to study the related halachos (Biblical guidelines and laws) with a local shochet (ritual slaughterer). Once learned, they have to be reviewed thoroughly every thirty days.

    Over the past months, he has assisted in processing a number of animals – chickens, ducks, goats, sheep, and even cows. But he had yet to perform the shechita himself.

    A month ago, he came home and told me someone was selling a turkey for just 150 shekels, and asked if I was interested in buying it? No, I absolutely did not want a turkey walking around our yard and told him so. “No, not to raise – for me to shecht!” The shochet he learned with him determined that he was ready to do the shechita (kosher slaughtering) himself.

    The process went very smoothly – the shochet told me it’s rare for a first shechita to go so well, and that it’s been a pleasure to learn with ds13, due to his diligence and how seriously he’s taken his studies.

    It was very gratifying for all of us to see the tangible results of his months of study! Ds13 plucked it, cleaned it and kashered it himself, and we saved it to enjoy together with dd24 and her husband when they were here for the weekend.

    A couple of days ago someone came by and said there were a couple of ducks he was having shechted, and my thirteen year old could watch if he wanted.

    I went over just as they finished up, and found out that my son hadn’t watched but actually performed the shechita on both of them! (Under the supervision of the shochet that he studied with, obviously.) He learned firsthand why ducks are considered one of the more difficult animals to shecht. One of the two was kosher, one wasn’t, and the person who the ducks belonged to insisted ds13 take half of the meat.

    It was a mallard duck and small to begin with, so half of it wasn’t a huge meal, but nonetheless, this week we had roast duck on the menu. 🙂

    My husband and I have great satisfaction in observing the emergent developmental process – in this case, watching ds13 develop and pursue an interest. No degree of external manipulation or incentivization can get the results that come from intrinsic motivation. (Our foster care social worker, who visits monthly, is very appreciative of ds13 and his activities, though she said she finds it discouraging to see the contrast with her own son, who is lacking any visible signs of emergence. I’ve spoken to her about supporting the natural developmental process, too!)

    Some people have said it’s good he has a skill that could potentially be a career – that’s true and it’s always good to have options, but I wouldn’t want him to do this for a living. I value it greatly as a life skill, however.

    For me, the biggest value is a person learning to listen to his own inner guidance and move towards that. This is way of thinking that could dramatically enhance the life satisfaction of every one of us, but far too many of us adults, under the guise of being responsible, have lost the ability to recognize and respond to the inner promptings of their souls. And what are we here for, if not to live lives of meaning and satisfaction?

    Avivah