Avivah Werner

Category: Parenting

  • Early rising, time for learning

    Several years ago, I made some adaptations to my parenting style.  Mainly, I raised the my expectations for my kids’ behavior, and developed a strategy to follow up on those expectations.  One of the most important things I did was to bring my kids closer to me and consciously spent more time with them when they did something displeasing (rather than the very popular ‘push kids away’/time out approach that it touted, which I think I’ve shared my feelings about a while back).   A very few times at the beginning, this meant that I told whatever child involved that they would need to sleep in my room if I felt that they had showed they wouldn’t behave appropriately in their own rooms at night without supervision.  I didn’t do it punitively, but I had them make up a pallet on the floor next to my bed.  This wasn’t something I had to do very often at all, but I very soon saw that the kids actually really liked it – one child asked me the next night if he could sleep in my room again!   I then saw clearly how a disciplinary measure could be loving and perceived as such by both parent and child, while simultaneously improving the behavior and building the parent-child relationship.  Our kids really want to be close to us.

    Anyway, on to the present.  Last nights I spontaneously offered to let my 9 year old son sleep in my room, since my husband wasn’t home, something I do every once in a while for my middle three (6,8, 9).  Not because he needed more of my presence or for me to keep an eye on him, but because I thought he’d want to.  I was right – he jumped up and said, “Really?!  Thanks, Mommy!”  And rushed to get ready for bed. 

    He gets up earlier than I do to go to shul with my 15 year old, so he brought his own alarm to my room because I’m still sleeping when they leave.  I happened to wake up before his alarm went off, but I thought it was 6 am when he woke up.  It was still dark.  I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I picked up a book from the pile next to my bed (I never told you how many books I’m usually in the middle of, did I?  Let’s just say I usually have a nice pile next to my bed.:)).  About a half hour later, I looked at my watch, and saw that it was only 6 am, and was still dark.  Meaning that he had woken up at 5:30.

    Later today, my older son told me he was really tired, and I told him I had been really surprised to see that they woke up so early, because I thought they went to a later minyan. He said B. (the 9 year old) wanted to go to the earliest minyan possible, so he agreed to take him to the 6:20 minyan.  I couldn’t think of any reason why B. would prefer one minyan over another, so I asked E. (15 year old) why they chose that one.  He said that B. wanted to daven as early as possible, because then they’d have more time between the time they finished davening and the time I told them they have to be home for breakfast (we recently changed breakfast to 9 am so that they wouldn’t have to rush home, but I’m adamant that they must be home by then). 

    Then I was wondering why did he want more time between davening and breakfast? The answer: so he could learn more mishnayos!  He really loves learning with his big brother – their daily learning time is in the morning before coming home (though they often like to do more later on in the day or evening), and this morning he came home from shul and told me with a lot of excitement that they did 11 mishnayos this morning, a new record!  He’s definitely intrinsically motivated.  🙂  You should see how fast they’re going through mishnayos – whew!

    I love seeing my kids taking the intiative to further their own learning goals, something I was told years ago that kids needed to be in school to learn, that a child on his own wouldn’t want to learn.  One more example for me of how trusting the process of learning and your child really works.

    Avivah

  • Saving the best for last

    Tonight was the last night of Chanuka, and we saved our big family present for tonight.   My husband and I decided to break it into two parts.  The first part was a poem that my husband wrote for tonight.  He cut it into eight parts, gave each child a part, and then they pieced it together.  After putting it together, my 14 yodd read it out loud for everyone.

    The Best For Last

    They say you should save the best for last

    Now, all but one of the days are past.

    Tomorrow night Chanuka will be gone till next year

    But there’s one last present for our family so dear.

    Mommy and Daddy and H-shem had it planned

    Several months ago and we thought it would be grand

    If we saved it for this holiday of light

    And waited and waited until the last night.

    It’s something that each of you has several of

    But we get the feeling it’s something you love.

    So, without further ado, we’d like you to go

    To the milchig drawer and then you will know.

    Halfway through this poem, the light went on in my 12 year old dd’s eyes, and I knew she realized what it was.  But no one else did, so they all raced into the kitchen to find what was in the drawer.  When they got there, they opened a folded piece of paper, to find a full size coupon there.  It said:

    COUPON

    for

    ONE NEW SIBLING IN MAY

    Some of the kids had to read this several times before it registered.  🙂  When they did, they ran back into the living room and started dancing and hugging each other. 

    Afterwards, all of my kids told me their initial thoughts and reactions on hearing the news.  My oldest son was expecting a family membership to the JCC (I’m still planning to get that, but it will be delayed for another week or so), so he wasn’t really listening carefully to the poem.  The build up and presentation had him convinced it would be a membership – he’s one of those who had to read it several times, because he was so sure of what it was that it took him a couple of minutes to realize he was off track.  Since the baby is almost 16 months old, he said he had already (!) resigned himself to us remaining a family of just eight children.  My dd14 felt very stupid that she wasn’t paying close attention to what she was reading, but last night she had a dream that we were having a baby, so she wasn’t suprised.  She’s “been expecting it for months”, since she also had a dream about it a few months ago.  At that point, she made a note of the date of her dream so she’d be able to check it later on whenever I told her I was pregnant.  Tonight she looked for the note about the past dream and was disappointed she couldn’t find it.  She also said she thought I looked pregnant but didn’t want to say anything.  My dd12 is the one who figured out the poem – she’s very excited.  She was looking thoughtful later in the evening, and I asked what she was thinking about.  She said she’s trying to decide if she wants to go to camp in the summer and miss a month of ‘that tiny baby cuteness’; right now she said it wouldn’t be worth it to go.  Ds9 said he was totally taken by surprise.  They’re already putting in their bids for what gender they want the baby to be. 🙂  They asked my 2.5 year old if he wants a new baby, and he calmly said, ‘No, I don’t want a baby’.  I told them not to talk to him about it and make a big deal of something he’s too little to understand. 

    I wasn’t sure we’d be able to get to this point without all of the kids realizing it on their own by looking at me (I’ll be officially five months along in another few days), but I made it!  We haven’t yet told our parents, though I’m sure they all noticed that I look heavier than usual.  My 9 yos suggested we break the good news to my mom for her birthday in less than two weeks in a similar way to how we told them.  Everyone likes that idea.  As far as telling my inlaws, I’d really like to just have the baby and then let them know, but I think we’ll have to tell them sometime in the next month (though I keep thinking, if I could wait until six months, I could wait until seven, and what’s another couple of months past that point…).  That’s one advantage of having a smaller family – when you announce number 2 or 3, your parents are usually happy for you.  🙂

    So now we’re duplicating the spacing we had with our first three children: 17 months between 1 and 2 (and then 7 and 8), then 20 months between 3 and 4 (and be”h 8 and 9).  Being pregnant is an amazing gift and I’m so grateful that we have been blessed again!

    Avivah

  • A funny comment

    We went out to eat a few nights ago, something we rarely do, and had such a nice time!  While we were waiting for our food to be ready, we overheard a one girl at a table near us complaining, who looked to be about nine years old.   

    It seemed that her older sister (maybe 12) was bothering her, even though they were at opposite ends of the table and weren’t talking or even looking at each other, because she whined several times, “Mom, make her stop texting me!”  I found this very funny – it was said in the classic tone of ‘she’s annoying me’ but clearly this generation has found new ways to torment their siblings.  (It looked like the parents tried to insist the older daughter put her handheld whatever down during the meal, but it wasn’t working.)

    The more things change, the more they stay the same!

    Avivah

  • Buying holiday gifts

    Last year I planned to write about this, but at first it seemed too far ahead of the holidays to write, then it was too close and it seemed it was too late for the suggestions, and then the holidays were over and it seemed way too early to think about the next year.  This year I had the same thing happen, but I’ll share some thoughts on this now.

    We keep things very non commercial.  I really dislike the focus on buying, buying, buying, and feel strongly that having so much attention paid to presents shifts the focus away from the true meaning of the holiday.  I think it’s unfortunate that so many people feel they need to put themselves deeper into debt to fulfill the expectations of those around them.  As I try to do with other holidays throughout the year, I space the extra expenses over time so that it’s not a burden at one time (though Chanuka expenses are quite low in our house, and it’s more of a help in terms of not putting pressure on myself last minute to pull a rabbit out of a hat).

    Another point that I think is important to be aware of, so you can avoid it, is that the more you spend, the more those around you come to expect, so everyone ends up less satisfied all the time.  And it spirals every year as everyone comes to expect more and more.

    To deal with the aspect of not getting caught up in large sudden expenses, I keep my eyes open all year round – if I see something at a great price that will make a nice gift for a family member, I get it.  At the beginning of January tends to be a good time to buy gifts from retail stores, and takes the pressure off for later on in the year because you have what you need by the time the holidays are here!  But you can look at thrift stores, yard sales, wherever – no one outlet has a monopoly on great deals.

    I have a box in the attic where I put all of these finds during the year, and a few weeks before Chanuka go through it and get a sense of what would be appropriate for whom.  But I really don’t spend a lot per person.  And since I’ve too often seen how little use some gifts get, I decided this year to suggest to all of the kids that they think of gifts they can give that are either free or very, very low cost.  My kids like to all get things for each other and for us, and it ends up being a lot of stuff, even when done simply and inexpensively.

    What kind of things do I get my kids?  Well, they have plenty of games and there’s not much to add to in that area.  We haven’t found a large variety of toys useful – though there are some we have in large amounts, like K’nex, so toys are usually only for the younger kids.  For the past couple of years, we gave homemade coupon books, which the kids really like.  The only problem with that is that they like to save their coupons, and all of a sudden now, they’re rushing to redeem them now from a year ago, before they expire!  Dh had fun taking them all out for donuts and hot cocoa this week, one of their coupons!

    I try to get a mix of practical things I know they’ll appreciate, and something a little fun. My ds15 and ds9 have been letting me know they’d LOVE a membership to the JCC, and dh and I decided this will be the big family gift for everyone – a year’s membership, which I know they’ll all get a lot of use out of (we live a five minute walk away).  This year I got them all new gloves, earmuffs, and scarves, but it got cold so early in the year that I gave them the gloves and earmuffs early.  But I put aside the beautiful fleece scarves for my dh and ds15.  I bought hot water bottles ($35 total) for everyone, to keep them toasty on cold nights, which they’ll appreciate since our nights are cold and we keep the house temps low- I’m planning to make individualized covers for each of them sometime in the next week.  Even though it’s something I would have given them anyway (like the JCC membership), by saving it for Chanuka it adds to the fun.

    I bought card games, a couple of board games (for the younger kids), a craft kit, science kits, alef bais cookie cutters, another Gears kit (to add to the collection we already have) and that will be distributed to whoever it’s most appropriate for.  Then I have miscellaneous items – like for my husband, he told me about a video (Seabiscuit) he found inspiring that he saw at someone’s house when he was away – so I got him the book, found at a book exchange (therefore free).  And he mentioned recently that he wanted to try to find some peppermint oil since ten years ago he found it soothing to add to his tea.  I got two small bottles for him, which I know he’ll be quite pleased and surprised that I got.

    For the 8 and almost 10 year old, who love listening to audio books together in the afternoons, and both have a very high level of comprehension and similar tastes, I’m giving an unabridged recording of the first book of Lord of the Rings (10 cents at the library sale – that’s five cents per child for 20 hours of guaranteed entertainment each!).  Dd14 will get an apron, and a special lip balm (she always borrows mine and says it’s the only one that helps her chapped lips.  Dd12 will get a crafting book and a special box for supplies, ds6 has a beautiful new picture book, the little ones will get that ride on solid wood airplane I mentioned.  I’m thinking of baking each of them a bear bread with a ribbon around it’s neck, just as a fun little thing.

    For our parents, I’ve bought nice moisturizers (that I got for free by shopping wisely and using rebates), and will give them some homemade jam and probably loaves of bread wrapped in a gift basket that they’ll enjoy.  Our parents can spend much more on themselves than we ever could, so I try to think about what I could give them that they can’t buy.  I think that except for the JCC membership and hot water bottles, I spent a total of less than $20 for everyone combined.

    Oh, I almost forgot that all of our kids (ages 5 and up) light their own menorahs – the older kids each have their own special menorah, but the younger ones use the standard cheap ones.  Right after Chanukah last year, I bought the next child in line a beautiful menorah on clearance at Target; I think it was 50% off so $12.50 (that’s not included in the above number).  It’s not like they expect to be given one, because it’s not a standard gift from us, but I know the child I have in mind will be very happy to have his own unique menorah.  Just unpacking the menorahs and preparing them each night is fun!

    None of my kids mind if something was purchased brand new or not, or at top dollar or not – it’s more important to match their interests with the gift, and this takes more thought than just buying the newest and latest gadget.  They are all very appreciative kids, but some things have been harder for them to muster up excitement about than others.  A couple of years ago they received gifts that were costly from a set of relatives, but not suitable at all (like a 12 year old who got a craft kit appropriate for a 6 year old, an almanac for a child who didn’t read much, etc),  and I was glad to see they were able to enthusiastically cover up their disappointment so the givers felt happy the gifts had been well received.  But they told me afterwards they so much would have rather been given ten dollars that they could have spent as they wanted, than to know so much money was spent on things they got no pleasure from and would never use – they felt it was almost worse than getting nothing because they had the feeling of missing the chance to get something they wanted for the money spent.  Fortunately, this is very unusual, and they are almost always happy with whatever they get, from whoever they get it from.

    The kids asked me what I wanted, and I said I would appreciate something that would take me time to do/make, but would be wonderful if someone else could do so I wouldn’t have to.  My oldest son has been building me something, working on it for hours – I’m looking forward to seeing the final results.  I know a couple of kids started sewing something, but then the sewing machine jammed so I don’t know what’s happening with that.  As I already mentioned, I encouraged them to also think in terms of doing for each other rather than buying for one another this year.

    I think the reason we can get so much enjoyment out of such simple presents is that we keep the focus on our time together and on the holiday – it’s about so much more than presents.  Everyone benefits by keeping expectations low – there’s more joy in giving, more joy in receiving, and more joy in just being with each other!

    Avivah

  • Toilet training

    A couple of weeks ago we decided now would be a good time for our 2.5 year old to become independent of diapers during the daytime.  This marks a bit of a departure for us from our traditional approach, which is to wait for warm weather and signs of interest on the child’s part.  All of our girls were trained by this age, but most of our boys we waited until around three.

    But since he’ll be three in April, and it will still be cold, and since we learned with child no. 6 that waiting longer can often result in a significantly more difficult toilet training process (I never realized until then that there’s a window of opportunity that when missed, is missed) so we don’t want to wait until past three to begin, we decided to go ahead at this point and encourage him start the process.  I wasn’t excited about it, to say the least, because of the time and effort I thought it was going to require on my part.  But my husband very clearly remembers what happened last time, even though it’s been three years, and really didn’t want to go through that again, so he scheduled all of the older kids and himself one weekend to be responsible for taking him to the bathroom every two hours.  Three days of that was enough to get E. to get used to going to the bathroom, and after that we didn’t need to schedule anyone.  At that point, whenever I noticed it had been a while, I’d either take him myself, or ask whatever child was available to take him.  He preferred when his siblings took him, since they would sit on the step right outside the bathroom and read him books.  🙂

    I didn’t post anything about this until now, because though he was staying dry most of the time and didn’t have many accidents, I don’t consider a child toilet trained until they take themselves to the bathroom when they need to go, and recognize what they’re doing before they do it.  And though he was going when we took him, he didn’t take himself and would tell us he needed to go as he was wetting himself.  But this week I saw him asking people to help him when he needed to go, or just going himself, so it looks like I can say in all honesty that he’s now toilet trained! 

    So to sum up what we did: recognized he  had cognitive ability for it now, then took him on a regular basis (and it only takes once or twice for them to go in the toilet to understand what to do) for a couple of weeks, and now he goes himself.  He still wears diapers for naps and at night, though he often stays dry during his naps.  We still have the baby in diapers now, but no one misses changing a toddler’s dirty diapers.  🙂

    I’ve never found this process to be a big deal (except for last time), and I think it’s in large part because don’t make a big deal about all of this, or put any pressure on a child for the process to happen at a certain speed.  I trust that they’ll enjoy feeling clean and dry, and will accomplish that when they’re ready.  I think most problems with toileting arise from starting a child before he is ready, and/or the parent having too much of an emotional involvement or vested interest in the process.  When I referred to waiting too long sometimes being a problem, I think it’s because once a child recognizes their body signals, knows what they are doing, and has learned to ignore those signals, it’s much harder to resensitize them to this. 

    Avivah

  • My daughter is home, empowered and tired

    It’s funny how the first question everyone asks regarding homeschooling is, “What about socialization?”  The obvious assumption behind that is that homeschoolers are kept isolated from the rest of humanity, sitting around their dining room table for hours each day, while they pine for the healthy and robust social interactions that other children have. 

    This question has alternately amused and annoyed me, mostly amused me, because it’s so far off the mark.   Most homeschoolers interact with a much wider variety of people of ages and backgrounds than those in school do, in socially healthy situations (ie, not a peer dominated pecking order).  Anyway, I’m not going to write a thesis on this topic even though it’s a big topic that deserves a big answer, but I was inwardly smiling this last week at example in our family of how socially backwards homeschoolers aren’t.

    Within an hour of hearing that her grandparents would be travelling to NY and were willing to take her (with less than five days to make arrangements), my almost 14 year old daughter got onto the computer and started researching buses and routes, to figure out how to see as many friends as possible in the three days she would be there.  Once she figured out some general possibilities, she spent hours last week on the phone, making arrangements to visit various friends in different neighborhoods and cities. 

    After all of her calls – and it took hours of back and forth conversations between a number of people for her to put her trip itinerary together (anyone who tried to call me last week knows that the line was always busy!) – she had an intricate plan put together.  She left here on Thursday morning, and spent the night with an aunt.  The next morning, she met a counselor from camp and spent a while with her;  then she travelled alone to another city an hour and a half away to spend Shabbos (Sabbath) with another camp friend.  We live in an area where public transportation isn’t a common option, so she’s never done anything like this before, let alone by herself.  And fortunately I was taking a nap when the friend who was supposed to pick her up from the bus called to say they couldn’t find her, and what bus stop was she supposed to be at again??  There were 26 in that city and we didn’t know the specifics, and my dd didn’t have a cell phone.  I found out about it when my 2.5 year old told me when I woke up that “T.’s friend found her”, so I didn’t have to worry for even a minute. 🙂 )

    Then she spent Saturday night with another friend from camp in that same city, and traveled the next morning by bus to Brooklyn.  There she spent the day with a friend, and a couple of hours later they went to a mini camp reunion of her bunkmates (though they didn’t call it a bunk reunion – they called it, “Come see T.”)  All of her immediate bunk mates came, which was impressive especially considering the short notice involved for everyone (the idea and organizing for the get together was undertaken by her).  I think they later went bowling and to pizza.  Then she spent the night with another friend, and the next morning left right after breakfast to come back home.  

    Giving a child room to have new experiences, to trust them to stretch themselves and handle themselves without us being right there to take care of everything, can be a scary thing for parents.  But it is so important for our children’s emotional growth – it builds confidence and self esteem to successfully navigate new situations.  It is empowering for a child to see new strengths and abilities in themselves, and to actualize a vision that they’ve created.  (I wrote an article for Home Education Magazine in November 2002 on this topic, when my kids were much younger – this is a principle has always been one that I’ve felt strongly about – here’s the link if you’re interested: http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/196/ndtrust.html.)

    I’m so glad she went, I’m glad she had a great time, and I’m really glad she’s back home!

    Avivah

  • Alternatives to watching videos for little kids

    So if I don’t let my little ones watch videos, how do I manage to get anything done, and what do they do instead of watching videos?

    First of all, now my kids are older so that changes the picture somewhat, because I’m not the only one able to do things that need to be done.  But for the many years when everyone was little and I didn’t have that hard earned luxury, what I personally found helpful was: defining reasonable standards for myself, getting enough sleep so that I had energy to be with them when they were up, using part of the toddler and baby’s nap time for me to rest to refresh myself (you get so much more done when you take a little time to recharge!), getting up in the morning before they woke up or staying up a bit later after they were asleep (you can do a lot in a small amount of focused time with no disruptions), and cooking/preparing when they were asleep or busy playing. It’s easy to get caught up in getting things accomplished, and it helped (and still helps) me to remember what my priorities are.

    Practically speaking, it’s useful to have some toys/games/crafts that they enjoy and can do safely and independently even if you’re not watching every minute. Sometimes, stopping for ten minutes and doing something quick with them, like reading a short story, can engage them, give them the feeling you’re involved with them, and then you can get back to your cooking or whatever.

    Also, I involved my kids in cleaning and cooking from the time they were very young – it took longer than it would have for me to do it myself, but faster than leaving them making a mess in another room and having to keep stopping to clean up or redirect them. 

    Avivah

  • Video watching for young children

     have a bunch of homeschooling and parenting thoughts to share, I need to get our homeschooling schedules up for you to all see, and a question waiting in the wings about homeschooling with a newborn.  I’ll get to it, it just won’t all be today!

    For now, I want to share my personal position on video watching for young children.  I’ve mentioned to you that we didn’t watch videos (that included religious videos, home videos, or computer dvds) at all until three years ago, for any of our kids.  Then I was chose to accept the gift of a dvd player and began using it to supplement our homeschooling for science and social studies, andn I’ve continued to be very careful to limit it.  I have seen this become a very slippery slope for most families, and I wanted to consistently use it as the tool we intended it to be.  Since we do have the dvd player now, you might be wondering what my position is for my baby and toddler. 

    My baby and toddler are sometimes awake part of the time when we watch our monthly family video, so they do sometimes sit with (on!) us then, but otherwise they have no screen time.  (Unless you count my toddler standing next to me when I’m on the computer and asking about the little graphics that appear on the side of the screen sometimes. :))  If the kids occasionally watch an educational program, it’s usually something the older four kids watch or when the little ones are napping or otherwise occupied. 

     I don’t agree with using a computer or dvd player as a regular babysitter, no matter how clean the material is (and by using it as a babysitter, I mean for significant amounts of time daily, ie, more than an hour).  And if we were going to be very honest about it, that’s what it’s used for most of the time.  However wonderful the content is, it’s not good for developing brains of children to sit passively and be entertained for so long.  The medium is the problem (I think Jane Healy wrote about this, don’t remember the name of the book since I read it years ago). 

    They need activity, they need to think and create, and be.  Sitting and passively watching isn’t the same and sitting and doing nothing.  It’s worse than doing nothing, as far as their brains are concerned.  Don’t fool yourself by telling yourself about all the wonderful things he’s learning as he sits there. 

    So what about if a mom uses it selectively and wisely?  Then that’s great!  I wouldn’t say to never ever let your child watch a dvd.  I’m don’t judge anyone for how often they use a computer/dvd program for their kids, and I don’t judge what the right balance is for each family.  The challenge that I see is that once we moms use a crutch to make our lives easier, it’s all too easy to use it more, and more, and more, until it’s often being abused.  And before we know it, our littlest kids are vegging out daily while we use the quiet time to do what we want. 

    I passionately believe that it’s critical for every mom to have time to herself, to recharge and rejuvenate herself, on a daily basis.  At the same time, I think it’s important to look at what we do with all the time we gain when our kids are watching the video.  Are we doing something that can’t be done with our little ones around, that will give us more time and head space to be with them later?  Are we using the time wisely, so that we feel refreshed and energized?  Please be honest with yourself about how you’re using it.   Is it possible that when we sometimes pop a dvd in, that it makes us feel less guilty for being inattentive to our young children for significant amounts of time?  

    If you feel fine with how often you’re using it, great.  If you’re feeling uncomfortable about how much you’re using it, then pay attention to that niggling feeling.  Your gut might be trying to tell you something.  (And be careful that you’re not a dedicated mom using this post or any other to beat herself up for not being ‘enough’, feeling guilty in an area where there’s no place or benefit from guilt.)

    Avivah

  • Happy first birthday!

    Oooh, I almost forgot to share with you – my cutie tootie baby is a year old today!  Doesn’t time fly?  (I know, I know, I’m embarrassed that I still haven’t posted a new picture – but we did take one two weeks ago, so we’re getting closer!)

    Over breakfast, we all shared our memories surrounding his birth and all of the things that led up to it which were memorable (we had a lot of anticipation due to the twins mistake, the breaking of water 5 weeks early, then breaking water again three days before he was born, not to mention wondering and wondering if we would have a girl!).  It was really nice, and I can hardly believe it’s been a year – it’s all so fresh in my mind.

    One daughter keeps saying how little this baby is (D.), compared to how his brother (E.) was at the same age, who is 17 months older.  I pointed out that by the time E. was a year old, I was four months pregnant, and everyone was comparing anything he did to a future newborn, so he seemed bigger and more advanced.  They compare D. to an older brother so he naturally seems younger and less accomplished!

    I feel very grateful to watch our children grow.  Every day is a blessing, and a year is an especially special blessing.

    Avivah

  • Ahh, the joy of teenagers!

    Ever since my kids came back from camp, I feel like I need to make a rotation for the phone and computer so that we all get a chance to use it.  The 15 and 13 year olds both want to talk to friends, 13 yod has lots of friends to email, ds15 has his paper account for learning stock options that he monitors and studies daily.

    Tonight, ds’s options mentor called to tell him about a relevant online seminar.  But our computer speakers weren’t working, so out I went to Staples to buy new ones in time for his seminar.  (While I was there I got some free folders, which was a nice bonus, and picked up some of their super cheap school supplies.)  Back home, he installed the speakers, 8 minutes before the seminar was to start. 

    Well, I have no idea what he did, but he wasn’t able to get onto his seminar, so he left to view it at his mentor’s home.  I grabbed my opportunity so I could post here, and I couldn’t get into my account, or in two other places I usually have no problem with.  Fun, fun.  I finally got on, but it took a bit of time since I don’t do it often enough to remember any of the passwords and usernames.  He must have deleted all the cookies or something. 

    Teenagers are amazing.  I love, love, love having teenagers.  They are so enjoyable to spend time with, and are mature and old enough to see the wisdom of a lot of things their parents do, so there are very few disagreements.  Most people give you the impression that teenagers are hard to live with because of personality clashes, but for me, the hard part of having teenagers around is things like this.  I guess I can’t really complain, can I? 🙂

    Avivah