Monthly Archives: July 2008

Sale on Bum Genius 3.0s seconds

homemaking

If you’re considering cloth diapers, or already use them, then this is a fantastic deal that will sell out fast.  And I do mean fast.  I just got the notification in my inbox less than a half hour ago and am posting now so any of you reading who wants to take advantage of this can before they are all gone. 

 I’m not going to go on about Bum Genius 3.0s, but they are supposed to be excellent diapers, usually very pricey, though.  I would have bought these to begin with if they had been selling at this price when I made my recent diaper order.  These are seconds and that means the price is 30% less than usual.  In my experience, seconds usually are very small defects (like dirt that washes out, a crooked seam).  Sales like this occur very rarely. 

http://www.cottonbabies.com/index.php?cPath=51

I’ve spent enough on cloth diapers recently that I won’t be taking advantage of this. I’m really holding myself back on this one – my husband wouldn’t be thrilled to say the least if I spent more on diapers when I bought so many already.  So if you buy them, let me know so I can vicariously take pleasure in knowing you took advantage of this info!

Avivah

Cloth diapering on a budget

frugal strategies, parenting

Did you know that disposable diapers will be going up in cost by 6 – 8% in the next month?  I found that out the day after I made a large order of cloth diapers about six weeks ago – it was satisfying to find out after I made the order. 

I first tried cloth diapering about 6 years ago, from a position of wanting to save money.  I bought the Walmart kind of prefold diapers (not knowing that there are huge differences in the quality that affect how effective they are, and these are the worst).  And they were terrible.  I gave up after several months because my baby at that time always seemed to be wet.  I tried to cloth diaper my next child as a toddler, to make him aware of his wetting and motivate him to toilet train.  It didn’t help because he didn’t care.  Next child – I once again tried with with my toddler last year, after making my own flannel contours.  It was a good try, but my older kids hated changing cloth diapers and I gave up once again.

So what happened between then and now?  About a year ago, I was in the thrift store and found about 20 brand new cloth fitted diapers, and since they were .45 each, I couldn’t not buy them.  🙂  (They would have been $15 if I bought them from the original source.)  Fitteds are one piece diapers that fasten like the typical disposable diapers, but don’t have a waterproof lining (you can put a waterproof cover on top or just leave it off).  I had never used anything like that, because I was doing the most affordable cloth diapering I could, and never even considered anything that pricey. 

Even after buying the entire lot for the less than one brand new would have cost, I didn’t use them with right away for the baby when he was born.  I felt too busy with all the stuff that comes along with having a newborn, and the memories of all my unsuccessful cloth diapering attempts were fresh in my mind and outweighed my enthusiasm for it.  But after about 4 months, I remembered about them and pulled them out of the closet. 

Wow, a change it was!  First of all, they were so convenient!  This made a major difference in a house like ours, where all the kids age 7 and down change diapers.  Using fitteds is just like using disposables, in terms of putting them on. No folding necessary.  So I used them on a regular basis, my main complaint being leaking, because I didn’t realize that a cover was necessary for them.  If I had known that, I would have saved myself some aggravation.  But all in all, it was a positive experience, and it’s no one’s fault but mine that I was ignorant.

By the end of June, those diapers were getting too small for the baby.  I was enjoying finally successfully using cloth diapers, and didn’t want to go back to disposables.  So off I went to research the options.  Oh, my gosh, do you know how overwhelming the sheer amount of information on cloth diapering is??  There are so many choices, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, that my head was spinning.   I wanted something affordable, and I wanted something convenient.  And it didn’t seem that the two were possible. 

But I persisted in my research, and finally hit pay dirt.  Or at least that’s what it felt like to me.  At clothdiaper.com, I found that they were selling fitteds at almost 50% of the cost of other diaper sites.  The reviews I read said that they were strong and wore like iron, something important to me since I want them to last once I’m buying them!  Not only were they much less expensive than anywhere else, there was a discount for buying 12 or more, and then a larger discount for buying 24 or more.  I decided to buy 24 of the size large, and they came to just $7 apiece.  That honestly was a bit of a splurge for me, but it’s been worth it.  Because they are adjustable thanks to the snap tape, I can use them for my 10 month old or two year old.  I really appreciate things like that which simplify my life.

Then I bought 4 dozen Indian prefolds that were seconds, so they were much cheaper than the brand new price.  Prefolds are flat diapers that have to be folded inside a waterproof cover.  They were $12.96 a dozen instead of $24 a dozen new; this price included the $2 per dozen discount when buying over 4 dozen.  I figured it would be good to have more than just 24 diapers for two children, and also the price was so good that I felt I would kick myself if I didn’t buy them when they were available.  (Unfortunately, they’re out of stock now, but keep your eyes open on their site for when they have them come around again – I noticed a couple of nights ago that they now have a couple of other sizes selling as seconds that they didn’t have when I made my order.)  When the order arrived, I saw what made them seconds – almost all of them had small smudges of dirt, as if it had been dropped on the floor.  Since the diapers have to be washed and dried a few times before using them anyway to prep them, the little marks didn’t make a bit of difference to me, and they came out of the washer spotless.

Then I bought some waterproof covers from another site.  I’ve purchased diaper covers in the past directly from the makers of Prorap, and they have seconds available for $4.75 each. I haven’t been able to tell the difference between the seconds and regulars, and the price is significantly less than buying them retail anywhere else (usually about $9).  I’ve been happy with the quality, so if you like functional and don’t care about it being plain white, this works great.  I recommend the Classic style, not the Basic.  The Classic feels more like cloth, the Basic is kind of like institutional vinyl.  I prefer diapers and covers that snap rather than velcro, so when I spoke to them, I asked if they had any covers with snaps that were seconds.   I got the last two.  🙂  The rest were all velcro, which is fine, too. http://www.prodiaper.net/ – You have to call and ask for the seconds; you wouldn’t know they exist from looking at the site.

If you’re on a tight budget, I’d go with just the prefolds and wraps, and for under $100 you’d have a good sized stash to see you through.  If you have a little more financial wiggle room, I really like the fitteds for simplicity.  They also are less bulky than the prefolds. 

I didn’t post about this right after making the order, or even receiving it, because I wanted to use them and see how it worked out for us before sharing with you.  We’ve all been very happy with these, and agree it was money well spent.  I hope that if you’re interested in cloth diapering, I’ve saved you at least several hours (I spent DAYS) of research on how to keep the costs down! 

Avivah

Homeschooling and making time for self

homeschooling,

A question I frequently hear is: “How do you have time for yourself?”

First of all, I have to say that I truly enjoy spending time with my kids – they’re great company! Enjoying your kids is critical, but you need to learn how to carve out time for yourself and your needs, so that you don’t get burnt out. You must recognize your own needs as valid and find ways to meet them.

Homeschooling doesn’t mean being on active duty all day long. There are lulls and quiet periods. There is early morning or later in the evening time, and if you have a husband who can make himself available, then he can be home while you get out.

How you meet your needs depends on what you enjoy. I didn’t have money for a babysitter when my kids were all little, I didn’t have a husband who had a schedule that made it possible to watch the kids, I didn’t have any friends or family members who could give me a break, but I still found ways to have time for myself. It can be something as simple as some quiet time to read a book, take a relaxing bath, call a friend, or have a cup of tea. The key is to take the time and take it regularly.

Here’s something I did when I had six kids ages 9 and under, and had all the limitations I just shared with you. I found that a short break in the middle of the day kept me going and I didn’t get worn down. I instituted a daily rest time for every child. I would put the infant and toddler in for a nap, then everyone else had to stay in their beds for an hour. They didn’t have to fall asleep, but they had to stay there quietly. They could read, quietly play a game or do a puzzle (they chose it before rest time), but there was no talking or getting out of bed allowed until rest time was over. This gave me regular daily time to know I would have for myself without having lots of little people around. I don’t remember how long I kept that up – but it was a huge help, and something I would do even now if I felt I needed it.

Be very careful that you don’t end up using your free time to clean up. I do stay up in the evenings when the kids are asleep and do some straightening up, but not for long.  I would resent spending my precious quiet time cleaning up the messes of the day. No matter how much you love your kids and spending time with them, you need to have some space for yourself or you’ll end up claustophobic and wanting to put them in school so you get a break.

Don’t give that quiet time up for something that can be done in the daytime when the kids are awake, with them. It’s that space that makes us able to give all day long, and enjoy it. Lose the space, and you lose the enjoyment.

Avivah

Today’s canning accomplishments

canning, food preservation

I think I’m becoming a canning maniac!  Gosh, I had fun today.  I’m getting the hang of how to can foods efficiently.

Here’s what I did today:

– cherries, 7 quarts, 2 pints

– plum jam, 4- 1/2 pints

– cherry jelly, 7 pints, 2- 1/2 pints

– ground meat, 4 pints

– spaghetti meat sauce, 6 quarts

The cherries were on sale for $1.99 lb, and true to my motto, I buy a lot of something when it’s on sale.  The kids de-stemmed them, and then puctured each one with sterilized needles, to prevent them from bursting.  My 7 year old daughter did most of the actual canning work, I just took the hot sterilized jars out for her to fill, and then put them back in the canner when they were full. 

When we prepared the cherries for canning, we had to bring them to a boil with some water in the pot.  The water became cherry juice, and rather than throw it away, I thought I could make jelly from it.  So I googled for cherry jelly recipes, and then googled again more specifically for one that used liquid pectin.  (Pectin is the ingredient that helps it gel, and I bought four boxes of it for .50 each about 18 months ago, thinking it would be a good thing to have.  It just took me longer to get around to it than I expected.  :))  For the cost of the sugar and pectin (under $3), we now have 18 pints of jelly. 

The plums were on the reduced rack for .49 lb.  I don’t usually buy soft fruit, because I won’t eat it.  But I thought it would be just right for jam, so that’s what I used it for.  I was going to make this with my 6 year old son, but he was moving very slowly and I saw that he was more motivated to do something else right then.  So he mixed the jam while it was cooking, but was around to only fill one of the four jars. The kids told me on Sunday that they don’t want me to buy store jams or jellies anymore (not that I buy them frequently anyway), since the homemade mulberry jam was so good that it’s the only thing they want to eat.  Now they’ll have a couple more homemade flavors to enjoy.  🙂

The ground meat was on sale for 3.49 lb.  Yes, I know that’s not incredibly cheap, but I don’t expect that kosher meat is going to go lower than that anymore, so I bought 8 family packs of it yesterday, each about 3 pounds.  I had my 9 year old son seperate three of the packs into smaller chunks, so that there are 12 individually wrapped packages now in the freezer.  This way I can use the amount I want without having to defrost a big package.  Three of the packages (9 lb) I cooked as crumbles.  This is how I use most of my ground meat, since it enhances a lot of dishes without having to use a lot of it.  I used chicken broth that was in the fridge as the liquid to cover it with, since it will hold the flavor well and doesn’t change the look of it, like tomato sauce would.  (Water, broth, and tomato juice are the three things recommended to use.)  That was the last thing I canned so I only had room for 4 pints in the canner, but tomorrow I’ll can up the rest.  Now it’s shelf stable and ready to be used, my own fast food!

The other 6 lb of meat I cooked up with onions, garlic, tomato sauce and paste, and seasonings, including some freshly picked oregano from the garden, to make a hearty spaghetti sauce.  Served heated over some rice (I rarely serve pasta) or spaghetti squash it will make a tasty dinner.  After canning 6 quarts, I have an additional container in the fridge to use for dinner tomorrow night.

My kitchen counter is filled with all of these jars, since they have to cool for about twelve hours before they are moved.  So far it looks like everything sealed properly except for one quart of cherries, which I popped into the fridge and will use sometime soon.  (That’s the chance you take when you let a 7 year old be responsible for it- the lid wasn’t initially screwed on securely before it was placed into the canner – but if you don’t give kids a chance to learn, which includes making mistakes, then they’ll never know how to do any more in the future than they do today.)

I looked up the state fair guidelines for entries a couple of nights ago, and we’ll be able to enter any and all of these that we want in the food preservation section of the fair.  I told my kids that anything they help with can be entered under their name (the only difference it makes is that they get the prize money if it wins a ribbon instead of me). 

My older girls were active in 4H for several years and our summers used to be very busy with them getting ready for the county and then state fair, but we haven’t been involved for a couple of years.  I think this will be nice for the 9, 7, and 6 year olds, and it won’t be nearly as busy as it used to be (the girls then entered sheep and chicken shows, sewing, baked goods of all varieties….).  We’re also going to start baking some things for the fair during our time in the kitchen, and since I’ve learned from the past, we’ll just freeze what they bake now instead of baking everything fresh for three days solid in the heat of August. 🙂

Avivah

Are you a good candidate for homeschooling?

homeschooling,

This is a matter of opinion, and I can only give you mine.

1) You need to enjoy being around your child. This is crucial.  The nice surprise about spending more time with your children is that you will enjoy each other more, so it gets easier and easier to spend time together.

2) Your reason for homeschooling should be because you think your children will benefit.

3) A parent should be home with the children.  This may sound obvious, but I’ve gotten calls from parents working full time who want to leave the child with a paid tutor.  That’s not homeschooling.

4) It’s preferable when both spouses agree, even if one is reluctant, so that it doesn’t become an issue that affects marital happiness.  

5) You should basically be able to cope with daily life before adding the additional demands of having kids home all day.   If you have serious depression, get anxious and hyper stressed by having your kids around, or something similar, leave them in school.  You’ll all be happier.

I also don’t support people whose children have been kicked out of school, who have no desire to interact with their child, are looking for someone else to do it all for them – parents need to understand that homeschooling is about the parent-child relationship, not a way to dump their kids onto someone else. I’ve gotten too many calls like this, and used to spend time helping the parents explore what homeschooling meant, but then it became obvious that they weren’t interested in what was best for their child, just what was an easy solution to their problem. 

I don’t think that you have to be very organized, though it is helpful.  I’ve had two minds about this.  Someone once who was clearly very disorganized asked me about homeschooling, and my first reaction was to discourage her.  But later I heard her interacting with her kids, and she was so incredibly loving that I realized she had the number one criteria in abundance.  Basic organizational skills can be learned, and a chaotic house can reduce the joy of homeschooling for everyone.   So while it’s not crucial to be organized, it is helpful.

You don’t have to be very patient, knowledgeable about whatever you’re teaching, have a teaching background, a spotless house, lots of money.   You can learn to be more patient, and learn new information alongside your children.  A messy house is a sign that things are happening there!  And there are plenty of ways to homeschool on a very small budget. 

It’s helpful to develop a strong backbone and believe in what you’re doing, but this is something that may develop with time and needs to be regularly reviewed and renewed.

Avivah 

It’s growing, it’s growing!

gardening, recipes

Our garden has been almost disappointingly unproductive so far – there have been a few handfuls of green beans so far, and our toddler has prematurely picked every banana pepper that have appeared, but we haven’t had much fruit for our labors yet.  My ds9 keeps asking why our plants are so much smaller than his friends’ and if anything is ever going to grow, and I myself kept wondering how much we would get out of the garden, after putting so much time and money into it. 

Until this evening.  My son was very excited when he saw, seeminly overnight, that our crookneck squash plants had several nice sized squash on them.   And then that the tomato plants finally are starting to have little marble sized tomatoes on them.  And lastly, that the huge squash plant (that we planted from a seed of a squash we ate) has a number of small, knobby looking little squash starting to appear.  The last one was particularly encouraging, because I had read (after the seed was planted) that store bought produce generally doesn’t reproduce itself, and that while it might grow big and leafy, it wouldn’t blossom and produce fruit. This squash plant is huge, beautiful and sprawling, and I kept thinking what a shame it would be if it was totally unproductive.  So this evening it was a nice surprise all around to see things suddenly springing up.

The kids picked several yellow crookneck squash, and I cooked them for dinner.  I had a couple of red peppers starting to get soft in the fridge, along with a couple of zucchini I needed to use.  So I sauteed onions with red peppers in butter, then added the sliced zucchini and crookneck squash, and cooked it for a few minutes until it was just tender before tossing in some shredded yellow cheddar cheese.  It looked colorful and tasty (when something looks good, it makes it taste better, don’t you think?), and the kids gobbled it up and said how much tastier the home grown squash was than the ones we buy in the store.  I served it along with steamed carrots (seasoned with home grown dill), homemade whole wheat rolls, butter, and vegetable juice.  It was a nice light dinner, and the kids enjoyed it.  They’re now looking forward to eating more of our own vegetables.  🙂

Avivah

Oatmeal raisin cookie recipe

recipes

Late Saturday night, I decided to bake some cookies to take up for the kids at camp.  I’m not a parent who believes that kids need a boatload of junk food to hold them over while they’re away from home, but at the same time, wanted to leave a little something with them that had the taste of home when we left.  I decided on oatmeal raisin cookies, and since all three kids said they were delicious, I thought you might like the recipe.

  • 1 c. butter
  • 1 c. brown sugar
  • 1/2 c. white sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 t. vanilla
  • 1 1/2 c. flour
  • 1 t. baking soda
  • 1 t. cinnamon
  • 1/2 t. salt
  • 3 c. oats (I did it so late at night that I can’t remember if I used rolled or quick oats – I think it was rolled but it doesn’t really matter)
  • 1 c. raisins

Cream the butter and sugars, then beat in the eggs.  Add the remaining ingredients in the order listed.  Drop by spoonfuls on a cookie sheet, and bake for 10 – 12 minutes at 350 degrees.  Cool for one minute before removing from pan.  These are so yummy that you might want to consider doubling the recipe!

Avivah

Kids helping each other and being responsive to mom’s requests

parenting

Yesterday we drove up to NY to visit my three kids who are in camp in the area for the month.  It was such a long, long day (over five hours of driving each way – left at 6:30 amd and got home at midnight), but so nice to see them!!  I really love our kids and it was so, so nice to spend the day with them.   And it was really nice to see how much they love us and their siblings, too. 

Two other moms came along with us to camp, and on the way home, one of the moms asked me two questions: how do you get your kids to take care of each other, and how do you get them to do what you ask without complaining?  I get asked questions like this not infrequently, but because I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to get more compliments, I don’t usually follow up with the questions I always want to ask.  Which is, what do you see specifically that makes you ask that, and is it something that’s unusual that made you comment on it?  (I once asked a close friend ‘what do you mean?’ when she commented on the kids’ character, and she said, “Oh, come on, you know your kids are special.”  It wasn’t very helpful feedback, but I realized that I needed to be more clear about what I was asking, too!)  As obvious as it is to the person asking what they’re seeing, I usually have to guess what they saw that prompted their comments. 

Since I have a lot of respect for the woman who asked me this – she’s is the mother of six, her youngest being almost the age of my oldest, and who gave a lot of time and attention to her kids when raising them – I really was interested in her thoughts.  But she asked in the van when the other mom was there, and I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it too much right then.   A little later, we all got out at the rest stop and I told her that I wasn’t looking for pats on the back, but on honest feedback and asked her my two questions. 

She said that she noticed that the kids all look out for each other and naturally do things to help each other.  As she was saying this she noticed my dd7 helping ds2 wash his hands in the bathroom, so she said, “Like that!”   Since I never sat down and planned a method to get my kids to be like that, I could only say that I communicate to my kids that we’re a team and that means working together.  They genuinely love and like each other so I guess it’s natural that they help each other whenever the opportunity comes up.  I suppose my biggest part in this is that I created an atmosphere where they all spend hours a day together and have requirements about what kind of interactions are acceptable and what aren’t. 

Then she went back to her other question, and said, “When you asked your son to feed the baby in the car when we were driving, he did it willingly.  But if I asked my children to do something like that, they would have complained and told me to ask someone else!  Don’t your kids ever refuse to do what you ask?”  The truth is, yes, sometimes they don’t want to do what I ask them to do.  I wouldn’t want anyone to think that we have a mantle of saintliness that’s spread over us all.  🙂 

I have one child in particular who is at this stage – maybe 30 – 50% of the time when I ask him to do something, his first reaction is, ‘could you ask so and so to do it?’  Every child has areas that are more challenging for him, and for this child, he really likes fun. Not work.  So this is harder for him that for some others, and it’s something that I work on with him, to help him internalize what an appropriate response is.  (I sometimes do that by replaying the scene.  Me, pleasantly: “I’m going to ask you again, and this time you’re going to respond appropriately, with a pleasant attitude and ‘yes, Mommy’, ‘sure, Mommy’, ‘I’ll be happy to’, or something else that shows me you’re happy to work together to do what needs to be done. ”  Child: says response properly and we go on with things, or says it grumpily, in which case we do it again, until child does it with the right attitude.) 

But generally they are pretty receptive to what I ask and there’s not much discussion or negotiation regarding the task at hand.  Here’s my feeling about this.  First of all, I try to be reasonable and fair about what I request of them.  Though they do a lot to help out, I don’t make my kids my slaves and give them jobs all day long.  I try to keep in mind how much I’ve asked of that child that day/week before asking for something else.  I have two categories that my requests fall into – those that I would appreciate if they could do it but they can say if it’s something they’d rather not do, and things that they have to do whether they want to or not, and tell them when it’s something they can refuse with no bad feelings. 

 Usually we work together to clean up, or cook, or whatever, so usually I’m not asking one child to do something while everyone else gets to play around.  So what they’re being asked is to do part of a project.  I don’t usually assign just one child to do a job.  If, for example, it’s time to set the table, I’ll break it up for two or three kids to do so that they share the work. 

Also, when they ask me for help, I try to help them accomplish what they want when they need my assistance. And I try to be as responsive and pleasant when they ask for my help as I expect them to be when I ask for theirs. 

The other mom summed what I said up by saying that it comes down to expectations, and I expect them to do what I ask.  And she’s right.  But I don’t expect that in a vaccuum, and I’ve shared what I’ve tried to do to create the kind of atmosphere where helping someone else or doing what a parent says is natural. 

Avivah

Homeschooling support

homeschooling,

The last couple of days in the van, I was finally listening to some homeschooling cassettes I got a year ago!  They were tapes from a homeschooling convention, and the person I received them from had a lending library for their support group, and decided to give them away when the group disbanded.  She made them available at a very poorly advertised curriculum sale last year, and I was one of the only buyers who came.  (And I got an amazing amount of stuff that evening for $25 – that was very fun but it was kind of a fluke and not something that I can count on happening again.) 

I’ve only listened to two of the cassettes so far, but I’m really enjoying it.   While we were listening to the first one, my 9 year old son kept saying, “That sounds like our family!” as the speaker gave examples of the kind of things they do and why.  It really did sound like us.  I think it was just as validating for my son to hear that we do all of these things recommended by this national speaker as it was for me. 

There are so many things about homeschooling that I love, but there’s not often many opportunities to share them with others, or hear it discussed.  So although I could have given these lectures from a position of more years of experience than the speakers and so far I haven’t heard anything novel (though there are a bunch of cassettes to go!), it was still really nice to hear.  Someone today told me she went to a weeklong retreat for homeschoolers, where they had workshops, meals, and activities for their kids together, and how encouraging and supportive it was. 

I can’t go to retreats like the one she attended for religious reasons, but listening to these cassettes gives me a feeling of that kind of support.  Something I’d love to do but have yet to make time for is put into writing my thoughts on a wide variety of homeschooling topics and issues.  I speak to so many people and answer their questions when they call or when I bump into them, and a little bit online, and I keep thinking it would be good if I could point them to something I’ve written about this so I don’t keep answering all the same questions!  I don’t have enough time in the day.  🙂  This week I made the decision to start a blog for it (step one!), but now I have to actually write up some posts!  Then there would be a little more of that much needed support for other homeschooling moms who share my religious beliefs.  (I’ll share the link with you once I get something put up on it, for those of you who might appreciate that info.)

Avivah

Free is good!

frugal strategies, homeschooling,

Today the kids and I had fun rummaging through free boxes of books and misc. homeschooling supplies.  Someone offered to take whatever was left after a recent used curriculum sale, and after she went through the things, she generously made the items available to other homeschoolers.  She did the same thing last year, and we happened to meet at the only curriculum sale I ever had a table at just a week or so before that.  We chatted only a few minutes then, but when I emailed her later last year regarding coming to look at the free things she had in her garage, she remembered me and told me to come before the crowd arrived because she liked me.  And this year she did the same thing, so I got to enjoy browsing through everything without worrying about getting elbowed out of the way!  (And we enjoyed chatting for a while, too – it’s nice to spend time with other homeschool moms and talking honestly about some of the challenges that you can’t share with those who aren’t homeschooling.)

We came home with games, activity kits, music and story cassettes, and books!   My 7 and 9 year olds especially enjoyed being able to get whatever struck their fancy.  We got something for everyone – I think what I am most happy about finding was two Landmark biographies.  I’ve seen these referenced as wonderful books for a long time, but the libraries don’t have them (at least not around here), and this was the first time I came across any.  What a treasure!  They are interestingly written and engaging, something I appreciate because why should history be dull?

We’ve actually gotten a bunch of free stuff recently: I told you about the portacrib, etc but there’s more!  Soon after that score, we received a notice that a large dumpster would be placed in a central location in our neighborhood to make it convenient for people to get rid of their odds and ends (not regular trash); they do this once a year as a neighborhood service.  It was there for Saturday and Sunday, and it was interesting to see how much usable stuff was being thrown away, instead of passed on to others or given to Goodwill, which is what we do.  By the time Sunday came, the huge dumpster was overflowing. 

My daughter noticed some things at the very top when she walked by on Sunday afternoon, and suggested we go together to see if we could get them.  When we got there, someone was industriously pulling out metal to sell for scrap, which I thought was great!  Why should usable materials be piling up our landfills?  Anyway, he saw us glance at a toddler riding toy and generously offered to get it down, along with a perfectly good cooler that was also on top. (That will be helpful for when I make my monthly trips to buy raw milk.)   A little later, my daughter saw (it was placed just a few houses down from us so our kids go back and forth all the time) a baby bath seat, put to the side and still in it’s original packaging, so she snagged that; our 10 month old is at the perfect age for it.  If someone was willing to go through the pile on Saturday, before it got so high, they probably would have made out like a bandit (I saw a number of heavy duty plastic storage boxes that I love to use for clothes). 

Then a day later, someone called us and told me her daughter was cleaning our their basement of toys, and would we like them?  I said, sure, why not?  So she brought over several bags of stuff, most of which honestly weren’t toys I’d keep around (so much so that I told my kids I didn’t think I’d say yes again if she asked in the future). 

Why do I say ‘yes’, if I don’t know exactly what is being given?  This is a concept that I got from The Tightwad Gazette and agree with – when someone offers you something for free, always say yes.  Even if you can’t use what they give you, you can pass it on or give it to the thrift store, or throw it out, if it’s really not useful – I always tell people that if they give me something that doesn’t work for us, I’ll give it to the thrift store to be sure that they don’t have a problem with it.  Many people have good stuff that they no longer need, but are often hesitant to offend someone by offering it.  When they find someone who is comfortable having it passed on to them, the gates are open and they know they can ask you in the future.  Most people would rather give their belongings to a family than to a thrift store, it’s more personal and they enjoy knowing the person they give it to. 

So back to the free stuff – two days later, the same woman called and said now she was cleaning her house of toys, could she bring some over?  What do you think I said? Yes, of course!!  This time the toys were much more suitable for our family.  Toy trucks that are just right for the 2 year old, puzzles for the 6 year old, rolls of brand new wrapping paper, and two potty seats.  I asked her at that time why she called us, of all people, since she hardly knows us.  She told me that she hates wasting things, and she realized that I was open to being given things in the spirit in which they were offered (ie, not as charity but as a win-win situation for both sides). 

How did she realize this (since I don’t go around with a sign saying, ‘I’ll take your free stuff!’)?  She happened to speak to a very close friend of mine a week earlier, and mentioned to her that she had a number of guests for the weekend, which resulted in lots of leftovers that she put into the freezer immediately.  But it was much too much for her and her husband, who would end up eating leftovers all week long and then some, because there was so much.  My friend also has a big family, and told the woman she was welcome to bring it over to her house, since she knows a lot of people and would pass along whatever she couldn’t use.  So my friend called me and asked if I wanted some since she didn’t have room for all of it – I got a 9 x 13 pan of chicken that I used for dinner that night.  When I saw the woman who made the food (who had no idea that I got part of it) later in the week, I went over to thank her and tell her that my kids enjoyed it (it had a sweetener on it so my husband and I didn’t eat it).  It was my ‘thank you’ that made her think of calling me when all the toy decluttering happened.

Avivah