In the last year and a half since getting a car, I’ve given many people rides. I know what it’s like using public transportation, and when I’m driving, I keep my eyes open for those who look like they’d appreciate a lift.
That means noticing if someone is looking rushed, if they are carrying heavy bags, paying attention to the weather (is it very hot/cold/rainy? – on days like this people appreciate even very short rides).
I often stop at bus stops if I see a woman there (I only take women, unless my husband or an older son is with me) and tell her where I’m going, and ask if a ride in that direction will be helpful. Sometimes people shrug or ignore me, but most of the time people are happy for the help.
I’ve helped elderly women who are having trouble walking, people running late for appointments or to work, a bunch of people caught in the cold and rain, and a number of people who told me they had been waiting a long time for a bus that just wasn’t coming!
One night I gave a ride to someone who lost her bus card and didn’t know how she’d get home, then later to a couple of women who were neighbors; just a couple of days later when I stopped at a bus stop to ask a woman if she wanted a ride, she exclaimed, “You took me home two days ago when it was raining!” (I don’t generally recognize people I’ve given rides to since I see them so briefly and then am looking at the road when driving.)
My general boundaries for myself are that I will drop someone off at the bus stop closest to where they need to go that is on my way, but I’ve departed from my own rules at times to take someone to their destination. Sometimes that has been very much out of my way, sometimes less so, but I always check in with myself before doing it to be sure that I’m respecting my boundaries and doing it with a full heart.
Last week I gave someone a ride to a different city (to take a stranger over an hour out of my way at midnight was a departure from my guidelines for myself) and she was protesting that I shouldn’t do it. I told her, if I’m offering, you can trust that it’s really okay.
I love spreading goodwill through these little acts of kindness! Women are generally surprised but appreciative to be offered a ride; it’s so little extra time and effort for me but makes a difference to them. Even if it doesn’t help or they don’t need to go in the direction I’m going, it leaves them with a good feeling that someone noticed them and wanted to be of help.
It’s been an important lesson for my children as well – I tell them that it doesn’t take much to help others, just paying attention and noticing people around you will provide you with many opportunities. When they drive with me, they get to see that regularly.
Lest you think this is selfless of me, know that I’ve been the recipient of many heartfelt blessings that have been much more than adequate payment for my efforts!
Avivah
