Monthly Archives: July 2022

Picking lychees, homeschooling projects

canning, food preservation, homeschooling

Recently we enjoyed an outing to pick lychees in a lychee grove, and came home with a bucket full of them! It was such a nice outing with three of the boys, and we all enjoyed snacking as we picked.

After eating quite a few fresh, my son put a bunch in the freezer. We put them out for dessert on Friday night, and everyone enjoyed them.

For the remaining lychees, there was a small opening at the top of each fruit where they connect to the branch that was slightly open from picking. Within a day we started to see those get overripe, so I quickly peeled and pitted them all, and put them in glass jars in the fridge. I’m making a large batch of plum compote today, and will put the two jars of lychees in the canner when I water bath the compote.

Ds5 enjoying picking the low-hanging fruit

———————————–

Directly from fruit picking, we headed to the hardware store. Ds14 is in the middle of building a storage shed. It’s a serious project with a lot of responsibility and attention to detail. I didn’t realize until quite far along that it’s actually the exact same process as building a room addition.

Setting the footings in concrete.

He’s spent a lot of time on the foundation, and he told me that despite
for all the hours it’s taken him, it didn’t look very impressive. I responded that the time spent on the foundation of any activity is like that – that’s where most of the time needs to be invested so that whatever is built on top of it is strong (a family, a business, or any other project). Someone looking from the outside doesn’t see the extensive laying of the foundation or appreciate the importance of this unexciting work. They see how fast the walls go up; they see respectful and helpful children; they see a business with great cash flow – and it looks so easy at that time.

Neglect the foundation and you’re setting yourself up for failure. Spend the time to get it right, and everything else flows better.

________________________________________

Last week my son asked me to buy a more powerful drill to work on the shed, so off we went to the hardware store to buy a new drill. Unfortunately, when we got home we found it didn’t work. When we went back, we exchanged it for a different brand.

On the way there, ds told me he wants to teach himself how to weld. No one in our family knows how to weld, and it would be such a useful skill! We can connect wood with screws and nails, but when it comes to connecting pieces of metal to one another, we just don’t have the know-how.

He spent 600 shekels to buy himself a welder, metal rods and a visor. I told him I’d be happy to buy them since it will be a skill and tools that will benefit us, but he said he wants the tools to be his. I asked him to please watch a video about welding before experimenting, and he told me he’s seen people doing welding, and thinks he has a sense of the general process. The contractor he worked with for a couple of months this winter advised him that if he wants to learn to weld, he should buy the equipment and then practice, practice, practice. So that’s what he’s doing.

I don’t know if he ended up watching a how-to video or not, but after dinner, he went outside for an hour to practice with some scrap pieces of metal. I saw showers of sparks spraying all over, and asked him to move away from the pool so he didn’t melt a hole in it. Then I decided to move myself away since I’m more relaxed about my children using tools like these when I don’t watch them! I know they’re careful and responsible, and chittering to them like a worry wort isn’t helpful.

________________________

Since I’m talking about his projects, I’ll update you on his chick business. I no longer have any chicks running around the yard nor in cages in the yard. They were cute but it was a short term arrangement. He sold a number of chicks, and had more interested buyers than he had chicks available, which was really nice since at the beginning he got almost no calls. As of last week he took his ad down, and decided that all the rest of the chicks remaining will be for us. Once the females get big enough, we should have a nice amount of laying hens for fresh eggs. When he goes to yeshiva in another few weeks, our thirteen year old will be entrusted with the care of his brother’s chickens.

__________________________

Speaking of animals, our thirteen year old has taught me along with some other family members how to milk our new goat. He’s a good instructor, very patient and clear. It took me a week to feel competent with milking, but now I’m pretty good at it and enjoy it.

I do the bulk of the care for the goats – I’m an early riser, so I’m able to clean the pen, change the water, feed them and do the milking, long before he gets home from shul in the morning. It doesn’t take long and I enjoy it. Then he does the afternoon milking.

He’s also been taking care of pool maintenance for us, as well as for a couple of others who were away. He refused to accept payment from us, explaining that he enjoys being able to do something for our family and doesn’t want to take money for it. I very much appreciate his taking responsibility for the pools (we have two, one for us and one for the vacation apartment), since maintenance is a never ending task. He learned quite a bit by asking questions to someone who has done a pool maintenance course.

That’s a little bit of what’s happening around here!

Avivah

Peach Crisp and Peach Cobbler recipes, canning peaches

frugal strategies, homemaking, recipes

It’s the summer and summer means delicious peaches are in season!

With all these luscious sweet fruits to work with, I’ve appreciated being able to make desserts that I don’t make the rest of the year – peach crisp and peach cobbler.

In case you’re wondering what the difference is, peach crisp is a baked dessert that uses a crumb topping over the peach filling. With peach cobbler, the cooked peach filling is baked with a biscuit dough – sometimes the dough is placed on top, sometimes on the bottom. I tried making it both ways in the last couple of weeks.

I have fond memories of my mother making peach crisp when I was a child, so I enjoy it when I have a chance to make it. It’s an easy dessert to make, and easy to make gluten free. Here’s the recipe I made:

Peach Crisp

  • 4-5 peaches, sliced
  • 1 c. ground walnuts (or any other nut flour)
  • 1 c. oatmeal
  • 2/3 c. sugar
  • 1/2 t. cinnamon
  • pinch salt
  • 1/2 c. melted butter/coconut oil
  • 1 t. vanilla

Place the sliced peaches in a pan. Mix all the remaining ingredients for the topping, then sprinkle on top of the peaches. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit/180 degrees Celcius for 40 – 45 minutes. Serve hot.

Frugal note: if you don’t have nut flour (and many times I don’t), just substitute an equal amount of oatmeal. To be clear, I don’t mean rolled oats, but the chopped rolled oats that are sometimes sold as instant oatmeal. If you only have rolled oats, whiz them in a food processor to make them smaller.

The peach crisp is on the right in the picture below (one pan was already eaten by the time I thought to take a picture for you!); the peach cobblers are the other two pans.

Peach Cobbler

  • 5 c. fresh peach or nectarine slices
  • 1/2 c. sugar
  • 2 T. potato starch
  • 1 T. lemon juice

Topping:

  • 1 c. flour (use a gluten free flour mix to keep this gluten free)
  • 2 T. sugar
  • 2 T. brown sugar
  • 1 t. baking powder
  • 3 T. butter or coconut oil that has been refrigerated so it’s solid
  • 1 egg
  • 4 T. milk or coconut milk

Combine the peaches with sugar, potato starch and lemon juice. Bring to a boil, let cook for a couple of minutes. Pour the peach mixture into a 9 x 13″ baking pan.

Mix the dry topping ingredients together. Cut in butter/coconut oil. Mix the milk and egg together, then combine them with the dry ingredient mixture. Stir until just combined to keep the crust flaky. Drop this mixture by spoonfuls on top of the peach filling. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit/180 degrees Celcius for 25-28 minutes, until brown.

Upside Down Peach Cobbler

  • 6 T. butter/coconut oil – put in baking pan and melt
  • 1 c. flour (use gluten free mix to make gluten free)
  • 1 c. sugar
  • 2 t. baking powder
  • 1/4 t. salt
  • 3/4 c. milk/coconut milk

Mix the batter ingredients in the order listed. Pour the batter on top of the hot melted butter/oil in the pan. Top this batter mixture with the peach filling, including the juices. Sprinkle with cinnamon.

Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit/180 degrees Celcius for 38 – 40 minutes.

I made two 9 x 13 pans of this one as well, but didn’t take a picture. The batter mixture rises up through the peaches. It’s a different kind of recipe than the first cobbler; my family liked them both and didn’t have a preference for one or another. By the way, serving any of these hot with vanilla ice cream is so, so good.

—————————–

I don’t buy gluten free flour mixes, so I looked up a recipe and mixed up my own. I used a combination of white rice flour, millet flour and potato starch. (I have a grain grinder so this was the work of just a few minutes to whiz them up.) This worked great for the cobbler recipes but was too dry when used for Yirmi’s birthday cake.

I had some more ripe peaches and though my children wouldn’t mind daily fresh pans of peach cobbler exiting the oven, I keep foods like this for a treat. The season that peaches are very affordable isn’t usually very long, so I decided to can whatever peaches I had that had a soft spot or two that would lead them to spoil.

Though I prefer to minimize sugar, my first batch of cooked nectarines really wasn’t good. As compote it would have been perfect, but I had added lemon juice as a preservative for canning it sugar-free, and that took away the sweetness. I probably added too much lemon juice, but I can’t say for sure.

What I do know is that I added a bit of sugar to the cooked fruit mixture before water bath processing them, and then it tasted great. Anyone can do water bath canning with a regular stock pot, as long as it’s high enough to cover the jars with an inch or two of water.


The above jars are a liter, which means they each hold four cups of cooked peaches, so one jar is just right for a 9 x 13 pan of cobbler or crisp.

Avivah

Ten years after our Trisomy 21 diagnosis…reflections

parenting, Trisomy 21

Last week we celebrated Yirmi’s tenth birthday. It doesn’t seem like a decade ago that we got the surprise diagnosis that our newborn son had Trisomy 21. I suppose time always seems to pass more swiftly than you expect it to.

I’ve learned quite a bit along the way, but the biggest ongoing lessons have been: believe in yourself – you love and care about your child more than anyone and you are capable; believe in your child – you know him and his potential more than anyone; and keep believing in him even when externally it looks and feels discouraging.

As I just wrote that and looked at it, I thought to myself, well, what was so different about that than any child? And the answer is, nothing. But these have been my biggest takeaways during this last decade, and continue to be what I hold in the forefront on my mind.

I’ve shared before that I’ve often felt inadequate, wishing I had the resources to do more for him. I’ve had to put aside thoughts of what other mothers do to support their children and not compare myself.

In spite of what I haven’t done and continue not to do, I have an intelligent and capable son who happens to have T21. He’s doing great and continues to develop and mature. And I’m maturing, too, continually becoming more appreciative of things in the present moment, as they are right now, without holding out for perfection.

I really don’t believe in perfection, but when it came to Yirmi I wanted so much to be able to give him the support I felt he deserved that would enable him to actualize his potential. While that is a noble intention and came from a place mostly of love (but let’s be honest, there’s always ego there), realistically I have to wonder how many human beings on the planet have fully realized their elusive potential.

I had an internal struggle after having Yirmi, since my educational philosophy is based on giving kids the space and time to step into who they want to be and want they want to do. I’m not a fan of pushing kids much. But the proactive moms of kids with T21 whom I most identified with, do a tremendous amount to actively support their children. The accomplishments of their children looked so compelling, and I wanted those for my child, too.

I can feel guilty about it or not, but I am who I am. I’m a fantastic mediator, I’m a good role model of life-long learning, and I provide a lot of hands-on, skill-based learning opportunities. That comes easily to me; I don’t have to read books on how to do it or schedule it in to my day, or work hard to remember I should be doing that. I read quality books to my children, use good vocabulary when speaking to them, and their comprehension and verbal expression reflects that.

Other things don’t come naturally to me…activities that don’t come naturally to me are the things I end up feeling inadequate about. I felt they should be done whether I found them easy to do or not, since my child deserved to have this kind of support.

It’s so, so easy to slip into focusing on what you’re not doing. My challenge has been to let go of that ‘not enough’ voice and actively appreciate where we are now: “My kids are doing great, I’m enough and let’s just keep doing what we’re doing.”

I’ve also found peace of mind about having him in a special needs school. Letting go of my ideal of inclusive learning wasn’t easy. While the school he attends is a state of the art school and I very much appreciate all that they do and how they do it, I felt I failed by not continuing to pursue inclusive school environments. Why not? Because it felt like too much pushing, too much advocating, too much interfacing and educating teachers and administrators. I questioned if it was fair to him to put him in a school system where he was likely to be at the bottom of the class, no matter how hard he tried. I’ve never put my children in high pressure environments, since I don’t believe that’s beneficial developmentally. I wouldn’t do it to my neurotypical kids, so why was it desirable in the name of inclusion to do it to my sensitive, open-hearted child with T21?

I can sum up the last decade by saying, I’ve had and continue to have opportunities to practice appreciating who I am and putting the focus on that. The more that I’ve stayed true to myself, to what I believe- even if I disappoint those who would prefer I promote a different message or take different actions – the more at rest I feel within myself.

We seek to create an atmosphere at home in which our children can find that critical ‘rest’ that is so necessary for development, a place of not having to prove, of being safe, of knowing he is just right the way he is – and this is the same kind of space we should be creating for ourselves as parents.

You can see that most of the last ten years wasn’t about Yirmi – it was about me sifting through lots of information and perspectives, and making room for my own beliefs. It was about letting go of frustrations I sometimes felt when he wasn’t hitting milestones at a pace I would have liked, and replacing it with genuine appreciation and acceptance for his personal timeline. It’s been hugely about accepting and appreciating my own self.

Raising children isn’t for wimps. Raising kids with special needs has the potential to make you look even more closely and deeply at yourself. While I can look at what others do and genuinely appreciate their efforts and be glad for them, I no longer participate in T21 groups that I had considered a source of inspiration, because the inspiration I received paled next to the inadequacy I was left with. Recognizing something can be valuable to someone else but doesn’t serve me at this time, and being willing to let go of it is an important lesson.

Someone asked me today, is it really much harder to raise kids with T21? I paused, because I don’t want to sugarcoat and I don’t want to exaggerate.

Two and a half years ago I went on a two day trip sponsored by the school ds5 was in at the time, and it was such a positive experience for me to be in a room with other parents of children with a diagnosis, and I hope I’ll have another opportunity in the future to participate in a similar kind of getaway. It was a relief to be able to mention an area of challenge, without feeling someone would judge me as complaining or judge my child for being limited.

So yes, there are things that are harder or different, things that have required me to be more patient, to work harder, to do more. Has it helped me grow as a person? I hope so.

I feel the most accurate answer to the above question is, “It’s mostly the same as raising any child, with some differences.”

A teaching assistant of Yirmi’s told me a couple of years ago, ‘There’s nothing wrong with Yirmi and his developmental pace. The problem is the world expects it to be different.” There’s a deep, deep truth to that statement.

Avivah

Introducing…Buttercup and Bambi!

homemaking, homeschooling

I’ve made a number of calls in the last couple of weeks regarding goats, visited three different goat owners, and after much thought and discussion narrowed my options down to the following:

a) Buy a milk goat from the goat broker (yes, that’s a thing!). He has only one, and I’ve been waiting a few weeks for him to get more milk goats, which he keeps saying he’s going to do soon. He mentioned in a later conversation that he also had several young female kids. This is the most expensive option (2000 shekels for the milk goat, and the kid is double the price I’ve seen anyone else asking for a non-purebred kid) but also the most convenient, as he will deliver. Not purebred. 3400 shekels.

b) Buy two purebred goats with high milk production that would double the output of the single milk goat above. However, there is the extra fee for delivery with someone who is licensed to do animal transport, and they are two hours away. 3500 shekels, seller flexible on price.

c) Buy a different nursing goat and her kid, but this seller was letting the kid have all the milk and there was no clarity about what quantity of milk we could expect. Basically the same pair arrangement as the first option but much less expensive, and a motivated seller. Need to arrange animal transport, also two hours away. Not purebred. 2400 shekels.

All goats aren’t created equal. They produce different quantities and flavors of milk, have different personalities, and have different physical features.

Physical features have no significance in and of themselves, but there are a couple of features that I prefer. I like the look of ears that flop to the side versus standing straight up, and I prefer no horns (though most goats have horns). They just look more friendly to me. That doesn’t mean they are more friendly, just that they give that impression to me!

I’ve been mentally going in circles thinking about all the different possibilities. The biggest question would seem to be which goats will give the most milk, since that’s what they’re being purchased for and the more milk they give, the faster the return on expenses is. They basically eat the same amount regardless of the amount of milk they give, so it makes sense to get the highest milk production goats I can find.

Again and again, I circled back to the purebred option as the best value. Not only would I get double the milk quantity, opening up possibilities of yogurt and cheese making for our family diet, the future kids of a purebred animal will bring a higher price. Physically, this pair of goats have long horns sticking straight up on top of their heads. My boys told me that’s a good thing, that it makes them easier to hold onto and direct. I don’t love the look, but how important are looks when you’re buying milk goats?

The third goats I decided to completely take out of the equation – though I liked the way they looked, they were far away, so going to see them would be a five hour trip. And then if I wanted them, there would be the extra expenses. None of which seemed justifiable for a questionable amount of milk.

Back and forth, back and forth I circled. I strongly preferred the first set of goats but it didn’t seem smart financially. For three days I couldn’t make a final decision, and I was getting fed up with my indecision.

The frugal me was really resisting on this front; I really hated the idea of being a motivated buyer and paying more for them than any other goats I had seen listed. But the way they looked really mattered to me – if something is going to be in my space, I’d like to have a positive feeling when I look at it, rather than tolerating it. Finally, I realized that I just needed to allow myself to spend more money and be grateful that I found a good milking goat with the features I wanted, and not need to get a bargain deal on top of that. Sometimes the price really isn’t the most important criteria.

**Edited to add: after writing this, I had another conversation with the seller, and he explained something that I hadn’t previously understood. He told me that he bought these goats as kids from a small farm that has bred them for high milk production. I only knew they weren’t purebred. Until this conversation I thought the reason he could charge such a high price was because he was a good salesman. If I had understood that they are objectively very desirable milk goats, I wouldn’t have had any hesitations about the price in my decision making process! As I’ve told my children about other things, if you listen to your gut feeling you’ll never regret it, even if you don’t know why you’re making the choice you do, and that’s certainly the case here. ***

And so, introducing pair A, Buttercup and Bambi!

On arrival – where are they?
Ds13 and four month old Bambi, being taken from the truck to her new home.

We had two young fruit trees growing in the area where we built the pen. Since goats like to browse (climb up and eat from trees and bushes), we surrounded each with a metal post and fencing to protect them. Despite our protective efforts, they were persistent about getting to it and within a few hours, the persimmon tree had no leaves left – that’s the stick you see next to the post above. I hope it will continue growing but accept it may not. So far the fig tree is holding its own – they don’t seem to like the flavor.

They are very sweet and though a little skittish, after just a day they’ve gotten much more comfortable with us.

We’ve had two milkings so far, and have been very appreciative of how patient and calm Buttercup is while being milked. Her milk is rich and delicious, and we’re all happy with the newest inhabitants of our yard and to have our own source of raw milk!

Avivah

Dangers of amalgam fillings and having old cavities refilled

dental health,

While overall our kids have done pretty well at the dentist, they haven’t been cavity free. For close to a quarter of a century, I’ve requested that their dentists use white dental composite instead of amalgams. I’ve repeatedly been told that the amalgams are much stronger and will last longer, but I haven’t wanted toxins (the EPA classifies amalgams as hazardous waste) put directly in their mouths and have continued to insist on composite.

I was surprised at a recent visit to a new dentist, when I made my usual request, to be told that amalgams are no longer used. ‘Why not?’ I asked, surprised. He shrugged and said that they’re no longer on the list of materials recommended by the Ministry of Health or covered by the health clinics. ‘But amalgams are stronger!’ I said. ‘No, composite fillings are perfectly strong,’ he reassured me.

It was a little unsettling to have this change be shared so matter-of-factly, as if he was stating the obvious – as if there hadn’t been a decades long policy to use amalgams. I almost feel like there should be a public announcement: we have finally realized we were wrong about our insistence on routinely using amalgams and we have changed our policy accordingly.

I went on to discuss amalgams with him, and told him my husband was looking for someone experienced in replacing the fillings from when he was young. The concern with the presence of amalgams is that they are the source of the slow release of toxins (including mercury) into the body. Here’s more information about this.

Getting the amalgams out is just one part of correcting the problem. The other is to get the highly toxic accumulated mercury out of the body. I remember the first time I ever heard anything about this topic; over 25 years ago on the way to work a fellow commuter told me she was having all of her amalgams removed. It was part of an extensive healing process.

Our new dentist told me there’s a biological dentist in Tel Aviv who specializes in this work. We did a little searching and my husband made an appointment right away. This isn’t the kind of work that should be done with a regular dentist, who isn’t familiar with safety protocols in having amalgams removed. When removing amalgams, mercury vapors can be released into the air, then reabsorbed by breathing into the lungs, and removing the amalgams without protective procedures in place can actually harm a person’s health more than leaving them in.

In the last month, over the course of two appointments my husband had all of his amalgams removed. He is very grateful to have found a dentist experienced in this work and so glad to have this taken care of, after a very long time of thinking about it.

If you’re wondering about how much this kind of work costs: the removal and replacement of each filling costs 750 shekels.

Avivah