Monthly Archives: May 2025

Worst cookware in your kitchen and what to use instead

Healthy Living

A couple of years ago I began using disposable dishes during the holidays when I’m hosting large numbers of people. This past Pesach, one daughter commented on how convenient it must be for me, and asked me if I would like to use them all year round to lighten my work load.

No, not at all.

Why not? Because I don’t want to ingest toxins that I can easily avoid just by eating on regular dishes. Not to mention the ecological impact.

I thought I was doing pretty well on avoiding toxins in my food, by staying away from disposables and processed foods, and instead making homemade foods from whole ingredients.

Then I learned about microplastics. When I began to understand how ubiquitous they are, as well as how deeply contaminated our environment is by them, I was initially discouraged. It’s everywhere: in our water, air, soil, foods – what change could I make that would make a difference?

Microplastics contain chemicals known as PFAS, called the forever chemicals because they hardly degrade in the environment or body. Teflon is one type of chemical in this group; though it’s been phased out due to the known health concerns, other chemicals with similar concerns have replaced them.

PFAS have been used in products for eighty years, and seventy years ago the first reports appeared in the scientific literature of their negative effects. Unfortunately, it’s taken until very recent years that they are becoming more widely recognized as the danger they are. As with tobacco and DDT, the dangers were known to those profiting from their sales, but they continued to be sold for many years before consumers were warned to take steps to protect themselves.

So if you’re reassuring yourself that all of these plastics must be fine because everyone is using them, and they wouldn’t be on our shelves if there was any risk, think again.

Chemicals are not required to be fully tested for safety before being released on the market. The chemical bonds of PFAS are extremely resistant to degradation, even with high temperatures, and are resistant to oil and water. This is why they are widely used in food packaging like microwave popcorn bags, pizza boxes, and fast food containers. (PFAS are also in anything that has a stain repellent, like for carpets and upholstery, cleaning products, personal care products, and clothing – but let’s just stick to food sources right now.)

The worst offenders are anything with a nonstick coating. That includes: pots, pans, rice cookers, air fryers (and air fryer liners), and even parchment paper. That last one really disturbed me, since I thought I was doing a healthy thing by lining my pans with parchment paper before covering them with aluminum foil.

Much of the health effects are still unknown, but what we know they are linked to is damning: infertility, developmental delays in children, accelerated puberty, behavioral changes, increased risk of some cancers (prostate, kidney, testicular), interference with the immune systems ability to fight infection, disruption of the endocrine system, and intestinal inflammation. Remember, this is only what we are so far being told.

The problem with PFAS in cookware are they are fat soluble compounds and the leaching of chemicals into your food increases with heat, oil, contact time, salt and acidic compounds (like tomato sauce).

One scratch on a nonstick pan can release 9100 plastic particles into your food. A cracked coating releases 2.3 million microplastic and nano plastics (ie particles of pfas) into your food. These are tiny, microscopic pieces of plastic that are very toxic and bio-accumulative.

I’m going to share different things that I’m doing to minimize our use of plastics and PFAS in upcoming posts. The first and most important step is to get rid of non-stick cookware.

These mostly haven’t had a presence in my home for many years, but I bought a nonstick skillet a year or two ago to replace a stainless steel one that was treifed up (made nonkosher). I knew it wasn’t Teflon so I hoped that the upgraded coating would be a healthier option. When the coating got scratched, I threw it away and bought another one. Then that got scratched so I threw it away. I thought I was being appropriately careful.

After that I committed to not buying anything else until I could find a stainless steel skillet. It was only because I couldn’t find one in the stores I was shopping in that I bought the non-stick skillet to begin with.

After several months, I ordered one online. But while I was waiting for my skillet to arrive, I found one in a Soltam branch in Tiberias . The price is much more than a nonstick skillet but it’s a good quality pan, it’s a one time expense, and for me it’s worth the added expense to have non-toxic cookware.

Here’s a suggestion to prevent food from sticking to the bottom.

The key is to heat the pan before adding oil or food. You can check if it’s hot enough by dropping a tiny bit of water into the pan. When the pan is ready, the droplets will bounce. If you then add whatever you want to cook, it won’t stick. The prep takes a little longer but since the food doesn’t stick to the pan, it saves the time afterward on soaking and scrubbing whatever got stuck to the pan.

Another option to stainless steel is cast iron or pure ceramic cookware- not ceramic coated. I don’t recall ever seen either of these options locally, but they are both good healthwise.

I’d love to hear if you have any tips to share! What cookware do you use? Have you found ways to keep your food from sticking?

Avivah

Hosting tips to minimize stress and resentment

Uncategorized

There were so many wonderful suggestions about how to get help when hosting that I’m putting them all in one post so that all of us can benefit! You can come back to it when the next holiday or hosting opportunity comes around – for me that will be my son’s bar mitzva in two months. I need to take some deep breaths around that…and use some strategies below!

>> Pesach is a huge undertaking!!I tell my husband not to buy me anything for Yom Tov, just pay for extra kitchen help over Yom Tov! Some alternatives: 1. Hiring help, for the times when you want help and they’re not available. 2. Turning over early and freezing food ahead of time (soup, kugels, meats, chicken, baked goods, etc. )3. If you turn over early, married kids can come help cook one day and the boys can help watch their kids. 4. Take them up on their offer to bring/buy food. It may not taste as good as your food, or be as healthy, but it’s worth it! If they don’t want to shlep it by bus they can figure out something else. Overall, I try to keep it simple and stick to favorites. <<

>> Personally, the biggest problem I have with either helping or getting help is knowing what needs to be done. Is there a way to make a list /chart of tasks that others can do (set the table, cut salads, do dishes). Post it, and then when people come in ask them to pick something. Maybe not everyone every meal but the expectation is that each family helps out some meal. Just a thought. When I am very clear on what I need I do get help. managing people all the time is hard so a list would let them self manage. <<

>>I have no idea if this would work for your or your marrieds, but I wonder if it would be helpful if instead of a whole family coming for a meal, one of the parents (perhaps with older children who are more independent/can help or a baby who can’t be left alone) comes earlier – even the night before – to help, and then the rest of the family comes for the meal. That way you get more help and get to spend more time with children/grandchildren, the parent who comes gets a break from their own house and kids, and the grandchildren get a fun experience. I know that a lot of the kids are traveling long distances by bus, and obviously whether this idea is at all viable depends a lot on the family dynamics/needs of all involved.
Also, I vote that if marrieds offer to bring food, take them up on it – even if they are shlepping by busses. Worst case scenario, if they see it’s too difficult, they won’t do it again. <<

>> if you cook and freeze much in advance, a lot of resentment will dissipate. no one can cook for all that just a few days in advance without overworking themselves. many women i know start cooking and freezing weeks in advance to pace themselves. a lot of the food we serve is freezable (soups, meats, cakes, even a huge batch of fried onions can be frozen, to be more easily used in other dishes – i read it somewhere and tried it this year and it was helpful!). Maybe an extra freezer. Lots of ideas out there of how to make a quasi-pesach kitchen for early cooking, even with just a covered foldable table and a crockpot (there is a cookbook out there written by a woman who does this, sounds great!). <<

>> One suggestion that helps me…
I try to make sure that I have at least 1 day of every chol hamoed where I have no plans and no obligations to anyone. No hosting, no visits, no trips.
For that day’s seuda eat, I put together to the leftovers of the last 3-4 seudas. There is easily enough to make a meal and this can make for a fun spread.
If I have visitors staying with me for the entire chag, I let them know in advance that this is a great day for them to go off on a day trip. Usually they have places they want to go and people they want to visit by themselves anyhow.
If it appeals to you, you can even send off your at-home family on a trip for the afternoon, so that you can really just chill that day.
I find that one day to let myself rest, read, mooch around with the at-home family, and even be a little bored opens up more joy and energy for all the cooking, hosting and socializing associated with a week-long chag. <<

>> your married children are taking care of their children, but at home they do that plus take care of their houses. they can still pitch in by you and it will come out to less work. you need to decide what you’re comfortable delegating- could be kitchen tasks where they can sit and chat and sous-chef for you at the same time- this doesn’t remove so much mental load for you, but still multiplies what you can do with the time. could be adding your children onto theirs for outings and giving you some time alone to get a handle on the situation. it could be taking over your jobs with the animals (whichever ones still get done on chol hamoed, and to your specifications!). it will still be a vacation for them. but it’s okay for them to contribute. cutting down work and serving less also comes to mind. you posted lots of salads and kugels. those are complicated compared to one-pan protein, starch, veg dish that you season and cook hands-off in the oven (without defrosting first!). or even not one-pan, just cooked in the oven. i have only my own small kids and i take all these shortcuts. <<

>>My family is not as large as yours and we had 1 couple first day (which was 2 with Shabbat) and the last YT we had our second couple. I bought from a caterer 3 very large potato kugel, and 2 small apple kugel, and 2 lg. pans brownies. this helped so much and I know I was able to sit more with my kids and Grands. I also prepared b4 3 lg. salads for the first days. I really simplified the food, yet it takes time. If they had cars I would say bring the linen for sure. By bus its not so easy. If they had cars they could also bring Kugels, and cake but by bus no way. Maybe next year be’z either your boys can help with cooking, (I know they do so much besides this) or one of your daughters can come a few days b4 YT to help with cooking. There really isn’t an easy answer. I know you love cooking but maybe you need to buy a few sides like kugel to help in the food area.<<

>> I have younger children but for me the best minimizing stress tip is to make as many things as possible in the oven in disposable pans (lined with baking paper). Many things even get mixed in the pan and that way no mixing bowls are needed. The less pots & mixing bowls to wash, the easier clean up will be.
I’ve learned to make a full shabbos/yt in the oven – fish, kugels, chicken, roasted potatoes/vegetables, chicken stirfry, shnitzel, meatballs, rice, cake, even hard boiled eggs – can all be made in the oven using disposable pans. Still haven’t figured out a superb oven brisket recipe… in the meantime that’s the only thing I must make in a pot.
There are kugels that do not required any peeling/grating – such as broccoli/cauliflower/mushroom kugels. Also regarding onion kugel, if you’re frying a large amount of onions & then freezing those fried onions, it takes 2 minutes to mix and pop in the oven. <<

Thank you so much to all of you who shared your suggestions!

A couple of weeks ago I sat down to take notes on this Pesach to put aside for next year. That included lists of what I bought along with quantities of each item (I never remember from year to year without this). I also copied over all of my menus with the page numbers listed for each recipe if it was in a cookbook.

I looked up when Pesach will beginning next year, and it will be a Wednesday night. I’ve told my husband and teens that next year we’re going to turn over a week in advance. That’s what I did when I had a lot of younger children at home, but as my family got older I started turning over a shorter time before Pesach since I had enough help so there was no stress in that. As so many kids have married and moved out, and more younger children have joined the family, I didn’t reassess my turnover timeline. Thinking about my experience this past Pesach made it clear that I had too much too do, too close to the holiday.

I do have a freezer, and will enjoy being able to make many foods in advance. Spreading my cooking out will eliminate the need to work for so many hours in the kitchen close to the holiday.

I spoke with all of our married children to get their feedback on how we could make this work better for all of us in the future. I’m going to be specific about what help I’d like, taking into account the kind of help different people are comfortable with, and letting everyone know in advance what assistance I’d appreciate and when. It’s hard to help in a home that isn’t yours, and it’s impossible to help if you don’t know what’s going on, so this will make it easier for people to lend a hand.

I hope these suggestions have gotten you thinking about your own situation and how you can enjoy hosting with less stress and resentment!

Avivah


Separating genuine news from manipulation

Self-Growth

I like to listen to podcasts while I go about my day and I’ve almost never stopped to take notes on any of them because I have things I need to do. However, when I was halfway through a talk by Chase Hughes, a trainer for the US Army Psychological Operations Operators, I pulled out my pen to take notes.

The talk was called, “How to Spot a Psy-op: Separating Manipulation from Genuine News.” I found so much value in it that a few days later I wanted to relisten to take notes on the entire talk – but it was gone.

It was far from an obscure talk – it had two million views when I listened to it on Youtube – and because I had taken notes, I was able to search for the exact title. The only thing I found was someone else who had clipped part of the talk and reposted it on his small channel – now that is also gone.

I have no idea why this was removed – maybe the speaker decided to take it down – but the information was very valuable. It benefits each of us to be a critical analyst of news, rather than a passive consumer of whatever is presented to us, so I’m sharing my notes with you. This isn’t specific to this moment in time; I listened to it several months ago and only now am getting around to sharing the information with you, but it’s relevant to any time.

I regret that when I listened the first time I didn’t make a note of the historical examples he listed with each point he made; that was the main thing I wanted to listen for the second time. Some of the examples were well-known to me, but others I hadn’t heard of and would have liked to look into more.

This talk was given by someone whose expertise was to train military professionals who create psychological operations for the general public in whatever country they operate in. Psyops are a reality, not a conspiracy theory. Understanding that psyops are periodically taking up space in the news, how can you spot them and filter out truth from propaganda?

Below I’m sharing my notes with you – I haven’t added any comments of my own.

—————————

Analyze the source: – is the source credible? If you see sensationalized headlines, leave it. Psyops thrive on sensation and hype. Ask yourself – who owns the media company? Are there connections with pharma, political entities, defense contractors?

Question the timing: does the story I’m looking at right now appear during a major crisis or scandal or upcoming election? Psyops will distract you from bigger issues. This is a huge red flag.

Follow the narrative: are multiple outlets parroting the same language? Psyops use coordinated messaging to reinforce their narrative. Copy/paste phrases – “unprecedented threat”, “undeniable evidence” – if you hear this, be afraid. Something is going in your brain that doesn’t belong there.

Look for emotional triggers: Psyops thrive on pushing your buttons – fear, anger, amazement – if a story feels designed to make you react emotionally, avoid. Don’t finish reading. (FATE model – focus, authority, tribe, emotion)

Check the evidence: are they providing evidence of what is being promoted? Relying on vague claims or anonymous sources?

Ask yourself: with all that is going on, is this going to expand government control or justify new laws?

Analyze coverage patterns – psyops dominate news and drown out other stories. Real news coexists with other reports. If one topic is everywhere while major global events get ignored, you’re in a psyop.

Look for follow ups: real news evolves with more updates. Psyops fade once they serve their purpose. When inflated and sensationalized stories vanish without a follow-up, that is called a distraction.

Look for patterns in how media and government communicate about things. Do they focus on fear, or do they offer solutions that entail giving up freedom or increasing government power? Try to diversify where you get news from.

Ask yourself: 1) who benefits from this narrative? 2) What evidence is being shown and is it verifiable? 3) Why now?

Trust your gut. Does it feel scripted? Does something feel off? Trust your instincts, and follow them up with research.

If you do all of these at once, you will never be manipulated.

The most important thing is to cultivate critical thinking skills. Learn to spot propaganda.

—————————————

This was a fascinating talk for me and it helped me understand myself better.

I never had heard of psyops until a few years ago, when someone used the term and I didn’t know what it meant. At times I’ve been very uncomfortable when questioning news that seems off to me while seemingly everyone else was going along with the official version of events.

I didn’t know why I sometimes came to conflicting conclusions about different news events I heard about. I knew I wasn’t a negative or suspicious or paranoid person – sometimes I wonder if I’m too optimistic about human nature – but sometimes I felt like I must be inherently a cynical person to see things as I did.

After hearing this talk, I realized that without having ever heard of psyops or hearing tips like these, over time I’ve employed most of these strategies when listening to or reading news. It’s really just a list of how to be a critical thinker. Do you use any of these tips to analyze the news you see?

Try using these tips as you listen to news, and you’ll empower yourself by developing better critical thinking skills, while increasing your confidence in your own inner voice.

Avivah

Just a regular morning..staying calm amidst it all

Parenting

I heard the chickens making lots of noise early this morning and ran out with a broomstick in hand in case there was a predator. Nothing was wrong, thankfully, and I let them out to free range in the yard.

It was almost six o’clock so I went in the house and washed off the chicken I defrosted the night before, and put it on the grill to send to school with ds12. This is the first thing I do every morning. I prepare enough that the children who are ready in time can sit down to eat freshly grilled chicken before they go to school.

Once the chicken was on the grill, it was time to wake up the kids. Dd7 was already up and complaining she wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t going to go to school. (This is a common theme – she usually says different parts of her body hurt her when it’s time to go to school and time for bed). I gave her some hugs and sympathy, then went to the boys. I like to give them plenty of time to slowly wake up before needing to get out of bed, so I sing a ‘good morning to everyone’ song while opening the blinds to let the sunlight in and patting their heads.

While they gradually wake up, I prepare their lunches.

Ds12 complained that his body was sore so I rubbed an essential oil blend on him, and gave him the roller to apply more himself if he wanted to. He finished with that and got dressed.

After finishing the lunches, I turned on cheerful accapella songs; the younger boys got out of bed and I helped them choose their clothes. I sent ds7 to the boys room and ds8 to my room to get dressed since when they’re together neither of them get dressed.

I sat with dd7 in her room while she continued insisting she wouldn’t go to school. After undressing and dressing her from head to toe with no cooperation on her part, I put her on my lap, hugging and rocking her for about five minutes. I got up to help the boys, and she followed me, holding on to my clothing.

All three boys were in my room, and neither of the younger ones had made any progress getting dressed. Earlier in the year it got frustrating when they weren’t dressed after repeated reminders and plenty of time, so I mentally established a time limit by when I’ll start helping them get undressed and dressed if they aren’t ready and we were at that time. Setting this mental boundary was very helpful for me in taking away any frustration about how long it takes them to get ready. (Ds8 used to get ready quickly and easily on his own but once the twins arrived that changed.)

I convinced ds12 to leave my room – it usually takes some negotiation to transition him from one activity to another and it’s important but not easy to keep things upbeat and light even when he refuses to move – and went into the kitchen to give him a plate of food for breakfast. Then I took ds7 to his room to help him get ready.

I calmly told ds7 that I’m going to help him, and asked him to raise his arms to take off his pajama shirt. While I helped him get undressed, he got angry and insisted he would get dressed himself and doesn’t want help. (It’s been forty minutes since he woke up by this point.) I tell him ‘that’s fine, of course you can’.

Knowing this won’t happen without some input from me, I stayed close by. He put his pants on backwards without putting on underwear. I reminded him he needs to put on underwear first and turn the pants around before putting them on. He insists he’s going to get dressed himself. “Of course you can, go ahead,” I tell him.

Leaving him to put clothes on, I brush dd7’s hair, which usually entails a great deal of screeching (from her, not me). Knowing how very emotionally dysregulated she is feeling, I remind myself to be extra patient and kind despite her flashing angry eyes and repeated declarations that she’s not going to school.

Ds8 comes out of my room, dressed. Ds7 comes out of his room with his shirt on, but the shirt is inside out and the tzitzis underneath are backwards. I help him take off the shirt, turn the tzitzis around, turn the shirt right side out and he tells me he’s going to get dressed himself. Of course you are, here’s your shirt.

With all three younger children finally dressed, I give them something to eat they can hold in their hands because it’s close to the time we need to go out to wait for the school bus. Ds7 insists he wants grilled chicken, and I remind him I can only give that to them when they are ready earlier in the morning.

“We’re going to go out in three minutes. Does anyone need the bathroom? Would anyone like a drink of water?”

After doling out drinks, out we go to wait for the school van, cheerful music still playing. The boys walk out ahead of me, with dd7 clinging to my hand. One of the boys tells me ds12 did something to annoy the younger two boys, so I do some peacemaking with them all, with dd7 still holding on to me.

With all of them friends again, I picked up dd and held her for a few minutes, before putting her down because she got heavy and rocking back and forth in a standing position and hugging her against me. The first school van arrived and ds12 and ds8 went in without any drama.

While we continued waiting, I held dd7 again, while ds7 found pieces of wood to play with. Their van pulled into our street, and surprisingly, ds7 ran to it willingly while I followed with dd. As I put dd on the van, I saw a flash of something in ds’s hand and asked him to show me what he had. He had picked up a piece of a metal broomstick and it was then obvious that he had been trying to smuggle it onto the van before I would see what he had. He isn’t allowed to have anything on the van since he’s used every possible item to bang on windows, make noise and bother everyone. (A number of times I’ve had to keep him home from school since he wasn’t allowed on the bus due to behavior.) I took the broken metal stick with me and waved goodbye to them.

Today was a typical morning. There are mornings that are much harder for me to stay calm. But however the morning goes, every single day I feel accomplished to have everyone dressed, fed, in a good mood, and ready for the bus at 7 am. I know if someone were to see all of them standing outside with me, calm and interacting pleasantly, clean and nicely dressed, he would assume it must be easy for me.

The truth is that it takes effort on my part every single day not to get sucked in to all of the emotions and delays in getting ready. Sometimes it’s easier for me to make that effort and sometimes it’s much harder to stay centered, but usually I’m able to stay calm. It’s worth the effort, since when I’m calm I can be kind, and when I’m kind, the morning goes more smoothly than it would otherwise.

Avivah

I had a meeting with the therapist and it didn’t go how I expected

Foster Care

I had a meeting with the therapist who until now I’ve used as a resource person to navigate the logistics of the foster care system. She’s very experienced and knowledgeable, and I respect her professionalism and compassionate understanding of children. Although she works independently, my visits to her are dictated by social services and paid for by the foster care agency, so I’ve never felt safe to share anything too personal, though it would be a relief to speak to someone who understands foster parenting. Foster parenting has similarities to regular parenting but is on a different scale of challenge as there is deep trauma and loss that manifest in various issues.

I reached out to her because I decided it’s time to ask for help with more than logistics.

I wanted to talk with her about the anger I feel sometimes towards ds7 and some of his behaviors, and get suggestions on how to move beyond that.

I told her about what we experience with ds7 and concluded by suggesting that it seems I need to do some deeper inner work to effectively parent him so that I’m not triggered by some of his behaviors.

I didn’t anticipate at all what direction she would go in.

She told me that if she was asked to recommend a foster family, she would wholeheartedly recommend us without reservation. She stated that we have an unusual capacity that few people have to deal with trauma behaviors (I have less confidence in my capacity than she does), but at the same time, it’s important for me to recognize that I have limits, limits that are reasonable and to acknowledge that I have a red line.

I appreciated that. As much as I want to be endlessly understanding and compassionate, I’m not and I can’t be, and it’s not even a realistic expectation even though I want to be like that.

Then she asked for more details of the behaviors.

After hearing the specifics, she said that the intensity of what he does leads her to consider that his needs might not be able to met in any home environment. She said the anger I sometimes feel is very understandable, that anyone would be upset at the things I described. She suggested we began to consider a different kind of placement for ds, because with such challenging behaviors, a staff has advantages over one set of parents; they have a shift and know they only have to tolerate what he does until the end of their shift and they go home for a break. When you live with it, you never get a break and it is exhausting.

She stressed that if he’s going to go into this kind of framework, the sooner the better because the more used to a loving home he is, the harder the transition will be to dormitory living.

I don’t see what the benefits to him would be of being in a dorm, other than having more staff to supervise him. He wouldn’t be loved and cared about the way he is here, it’s unlikely he would experience any emotional healing or advance academically, and his future would be very limited.

I told her if I felt we really couldn’t help him and I really couldn’t deal with his behaviors, I would consider that but at the very least he deserves a year of getting the necessary support in school to be successful before concluding that he’s too much for a family to handle. Even with his regression and other challenging behaviors, he’s made huge gains; he’s much happier and calmer, better able to focus, process information and think.

I pointed out it would be very hard for all of us, particularly the younger children in our family if he were to leave, and she conceded that was true. She added, however, that him not being there might also be a relief for everyone, especially the younger children.

I shared my concern that he would be at high risk for abuse in a framework like that, and she agreed, but added that being who he is, he’ll be at high risk wherever he is and it’s not something I can protect him from.

I really respect this person so much, but this isn’t the direction I thought the conversation would go. I thought she would suggest perspectives on his actions or guidance on how to handle his outbursts. I never expected her to say that my anger was well justified and his behaviors point to him not being able to stay in a home environment.

I went home and shared all of this with my husband and we had the same response – we don’t agree with this direction at this time. It helped us both recommit to find a way to keep him with us as long as we can.

The question remains: how to find the compassion and energy to be patient and kind when I feel maxxed out? This is the question I wanted support with.

So far what is helping me the most is to tell myself that he’s a four year old. Technically he’s a few months from his eighth birthday, but part of what leads to frustration is expectation. He is very much like a four year old in every way except his birthdate, and by thinking of him in a way that is accurate for the stage he’s at, it helps reduce my expectations. It’s easier for me to feel compassion or patience rather than frustration when he does things that I think he shouldn’t be doing.

By the way, my meeting with the therapist took place before the meeting at the school last week. After the school meeting, she saw ds7 for the first time since her visit to our home when he first arrived. She looked at me in astonishment and looking emotional, asked, “What in the world is this?!”He’s really sweet!” She continued, “It doesn’t sound nice to say I’m surprised, but I am – based on his background and how he was when he came to you, and all the behaviors he has – I didn’t expect to see this.” I was glad she got to see a glimpse of his real self, so she has a more balanced picture of the child he is. When we discuss him in the future, I think it will be a different discussion.

Avivah